This...is such an unworthy...Drat. I was hoping it'd turn out better.
It's still pretty enjoyable though. I can't make excuses for OOCness and
idiocy. And yes, I do charge for answers on quizzes and yes, my mother is
just weird enough to suggest that my partners sleep over to work on it if
the situation was desperate enough.
Disclaimer - Uh...look. I don't own it. If I did Cell would have been burning in hell long before he was.
**
It was Friday night.
"Change the channel. This is boring."
Juunana glanced over at Juuhachi. "No way. This is interesting."
The twins sat on the couch. On the television was a monster truck rally. And Juunana had firm control of the remote. "What would you want to watch, anyway?"
"Spoiled brat."
Over the roaring of the trucks on the screen, the phone began to ring. Both twins looked at it and decided to ignore it.
But it just kept ringing.
"You get it. You're closer," Juuhachi said.
"Fine," Juunana replied and picked up the phone. "What?"
"Is this 'Jinzouningen Juunanagou - Never never NEVER call this number except while drunk?'" some giggly voice said.
"What do you want?" snapped Juunanagou.
"Well are you?" the now pouty voice demanded.
"Yes. Now what do you want. Say it or don't waste my time."
Juuhachi was eyeing the now unprotected remote control without really looking at it. Stupid. How could he have left it lying there?
"I'll get to it!" the voice said. "Hey, do you know a Telfie Galilei?"
"Why."
"Because she's got your number writ down!" the voice said. "You're stupid."
"You're an idiot...even for a human."
"Hey! What do you mean 'even for a human.' Oh, hey, Letty wants to talk to you."
What the hell is this?! He asked himself. Juuhachigou was watching him carefully. He probably looked rather perturbed and annoyed. He couldn't see his own face, you know. He hung up.
"Who was that."
"I don't know. But she was about to have me talk to her friend. I hung up."
"Why did you talk to it in the first place?"
"Well you told me to," he said, rolling his eyes. "You're the one who always complains when I don't do things like that."
Before Juuhachi could reply, the phone started to ring again.
"Why don't we just get rid of it?"
"What else are we going to do with that table? God knows if there's not a phone on it theres some dress you decided you didn't like after all," he retorted.
"Pick up the phone then."
"Whatever." And he picked up the phone again. "What now."
"Don't act like such a bitch to me, you're the one who hung up on us!"
He didn't feel like dignifying that remark with a reply. The voice sounded twice as annoying. "Us?"
"Yeah," the annoyed-perky voice said. "We're sleeping over at Telfie's house tonight and we're calling people out of her phonebook."
And suddenly the name 'Telfie' clicked in his head. "And where is she now?"
"Out getting ice cream. She's the only bitch here with a driver's license and her mom won't let her drive other people around. She'd better get the fudge kind..."
In the background was a loud, squealy protest.
"When will she get back," he snapped.
"I don't know, and don't you dare bitch at me again! You better not be!"
"Shut up!" Juunana hissed. "Listen you idiot human, when 'Telfie' gets back you will tell her to call me as soon as she walks through the door or I swear you will regret it. Do I make myself clear?"
"Don't you--"
"Don't you dare piss me off," he growled dangerously. "Now hang up. And bother someone else. And when 'Telfie' gets back, if I don't hear from her, people will suffer." He hung up.
*
"What an asshole!" Letty said and put down the phone. "So who's next?"
The front door opened and a semi-annoyed bringer-of-the-almighty-ice cream walked into the room.
"What were you doing."
The four girls looked up, not one of them guiltily. One of them had a pencil and Telfie's address book, presumably ticking off the numbers as they called. "Who did you call."
Telfie snatched up the book and the color half drained from her face. Oh Holy God in Heaven...
The 'next up' number was the one she'd pretty much hoped never to call again. "Okay. Did you call this one?" she demanded and poked at it.
"Yeah, he said to tell you to call back or 'people will suffer,'" Letty imitated sarcastically.
Oh shit. "All of you get out. Now!" Telfie snapped, whipping the book shut. "Ice cream's in the kitchen. I have to call him back." The four shuffled out.
The phone loomed in front of her.
*
The phone rang again.
"Already?" Juunanagou snapped to nobody in particular. He picked it up. If nothing else, it was an opportunity to practice threats. "I th--"
"Before you say anything, I'm really really sorry. They're stupid twits. I had to go get ice cream to occupy 'em."
"Why did you have them in your house?" Juunanagou said sardonically.
"Momentary lapse of sanity. They didn't annoy you too much, I hope."
"What are they there for?" he asked bluntly.
"School project. It was my mother's idea to let them sleep over because it's due Monday." She laughed. "And it's not like they're doing anything to actualy help me or Alex."
"It'd be just like a human to listen to such a ridiculous idea. Or suggest it for that matter," he remarked sarcastically.
Short pause.
"Hey, could I ask you a question or so?"
"No," he replied bluntly.
"Come on, damn it! I'll do what I did last time, just call back until you pick up again! And they're just little questions, like for an interview."
"I don't want to be interviewed."
"Well too bad!" she crowed. "Hang on a minute."
"No," he repeated again, but she didn't give him the chance.
"Okay, in my journalism class they told me to ask questions which nobody else could answer. Well you cover that just being who you are. I guess this is what they mean by 'exclusive coverage,' huh?"
"Go, away."
"We're doing a report on you two. I'd think you'd want me to get the facts right before I put them on the presentation and paper," she sniffed at him.
"Idiot," he said and put down the phone.
You would think he'd have learned by now. The phone rang again.
Juuhachi glared at her brother. She was getting tired of this stupid phone tag game, damn tired of it. She picked up the phone. "Hello?" she asked, more like a demand, though.
"Oh--hello...uh, I'm guessing you're the sister, right?" said a startled girl's voice.
"What do you want calling us?"
"I'm trying to ask your stupid stubborn brother some questions so I don't get the facts wrong for a paper in school," the girl stammered, having been caught completely off guard.
"Is that all?"
"Y--yes..."
"He'll answer the questions."
"Um...thanks?"
Juuhachi turned to her brother. He looked rather mutinous. "I'm not talking to that thing."
"Yes you are. Now talk," she said and shoved the phone into his hands. "Talk," she ordered in that voice. The one that Juunanagou wasn't stupid enough to disobey.
"Your sister's awesome!!" Telfie exclaimed loudly. "Jeez, I can't believe I said that..."
There was a shuffling sound.
"Ahem...how long have you actually been active?" she asked.
"A long time," he smarted.
"The whole world knows that now tell me something nobody else knows you dweeb!" Telfie said.
"About eleven years," he growled irritably.
"And...what did you do in that one year that you weren't killing people en masse?" Telfie asked, just the slightest hint of a sneer in her voice
"I don't know."
"Why not?"
"Because I wasn't active," he explained impatiently. "I can be deactivated, you know."
"Okay...I'll run that along to the military, okay?" she said, and laughed to herself. "Yeah right. Okay, next question. Does your sister look exactly like you?"
"We're twins. Yes."
"Okay so she's got...chin length black hair and blue eyes, right? If she looks exactly like you."
"Blonde hair," he explained and ignored the questioning look from his sister.
"Righto. Gotcha," she said and must have scribbled something down. "Okay. Hang on a minute. I've only got one more question before I have to go. This is something from a psychologist's book. This should interest you...'It is my belief that the androids kill because of a lacking in--"
"Stop now. Who wrote that book?"
"Some guy named Albert Wyndom."
"Where does he live?"
"You think I'd tell you even if it is bullshit?" she asked. "Hang on - Lane, go back to bed. God damn it..."
"Who's that?" he asked boredly. "I'm hanging up now," he added petulantly.
"What? Oh--right--you do that. Bye," she said and abruptly hung up.
He put the phone down hard and turned around to his sister, who'd already halfway dissapeared through the doorway. "There. Done. Happy?"
"Yes," Juuhachi said and dissapeared up the stairs.
*
Telfie stared down at her little sister. "You're supposed to be in bed."
"I couldn't sleep," the girl said, staring up at Telfie's face with sly green eyes and a grin. "I'm not sleepy neither."
"Musta been all that candy our stupid older brother left out," Telfie murmured and glanced back at the telephone.
"Can I stay up with you guys?" the seven year old girl asked. "I won't be trouble I promise."
"Sure," Telfie replied with a shrug. "You're old enough." She stood up from the chair. "Feel like ice cream?" she asked.
"Yeah!" came her sister's reply.
"Good. We'll need it," she said.
"Why?"
"You'll see," Telfie replied cryptically.
**
Can you say CRAP? -_-
This was so bad in comparison with the first...but then I wrote the first one about nine months ago and just managed to get it posted right. Note - Telfie actually has 4 siblings. An older brother, herself, a younger brother and her youngest sibling, a sister.
Aaanywho, please feel free to review this at any time.
Disclaimer - Uh...look. I don't own it. If I did Cell would have been burning in hell long before he was.
**
It was Friday night.
"Change the channel. This is boring."
Juunana glanced over at Juuhachi. "No way. This is interesting."
The twins sat on the couch. On the television was a monster truck rally. And Juunana had firm control of the remote. "What would you want to watch, anyway?"
"Spoiled brat."
Over the roaring of the trucks on the screen, the phone began to ring. Both twins looked at it and decided to ignore it.
But it just kept ringing.
"You get it. You're closer," Juuhachi said.
"Fine," Juunana replied and picked up the phone. "What?"
"Is this 'Jinzouningen Juunanagou - Never never NEVER call this number except while drunk?'" some giggly voice said.
"What do you want?" snapped Juunanagou.
"Well are you?" the now pouty voice demanded.
"Yes. Now what do you want. Say it or don't waste my time."
Juuhachi was eyeing the now unprotected remote control without really looking at it. Stupid. How could he have left it lying there?
"I'll get to it!" the voice said. "Hey, do you know a Telfie Galilei?"
"Why."
"Because she's got your number writ down!" the voice said. "You're stupid."
"You're an idiot...even for a human."
"Hey! What do you mean 'even for a human.' Oh, hey, Letty wants to talk to you."
What the hell is this?! He asked himself. Juuhachigou was watching him carefully. He probably looked rather perturbed and annoyed. He couldn't see his own face, you know. He hung up.
"Who was that."
"I don't know. But she was about to have me talk to her friend. I hung up."
"Why did you talk to it in the first place?"
"Well you told me to," he said, rolling his eyes. "You're the one who always complains when I don't do things like that."
Before Juuhachi could reply, the phone started to ring again.
"Why don't we just get rid of it?"
"What else are we going to do with that table? God knows if there's not a phone on it theres some dress you decided you didn't like after all," he retorted.
"Pick up the phone then."
"Whatever." And he picked up the phone again. "What now."
"Don't act like such a bitch to me, you're the one who hung up on us!"
He didn't feel like dignifying that remark with a reply. The voice sounded twice as annoying. "Us?"
"Yeah," the annoyed-perky voice said. "We're sleeping over at Telfie's house tonight and we're calling people out of her phonebook."
And suddenly the name 'Telfie' clicked in his head. "And where is she now?"
"Out getting ice cream. She's the only bitch here with a driver's license and her mom won't let her drive other people around. She'd better get the fudge kind..."
In the background was a loud, squealy protest.
"When will she get back," he snapped.
"I don't know, and don't you dare bitch at me again! You better not be!"
"Shut up!" Juunana hissed. "Listen you idiot human, when 'Telfie' gets back you will tell her to call me as soon as she walks through the door or I swear you will regret it. Do I make myself clear?"
"Don't you--"
"Don't you dare piss me off," he growled dangerously. "Now hang up. And bother someone else. And when 'Telfie' gets back, if I don't hear from her, people will suffer." He hung up.
*
"What an asshole!" Letty said and put down the phone. "So who's next?"
The front door opened and a semi-annoyed bringer-of-the-almighty-ice cream walked into the room.
"What were you doing."
The four girls looked up, not one of them guiltily. One of them had a pencil and Telfie's address book, presumably ticking off the numbers as they called. "Who did you call."
Telfie snatched up the book and the color half drained from her face. Oh Holy God in Heaven...
The 'next up' number was the one she'd pretty much hoped never to call again. "Okay. Did you call this one?" she demanded and poked at it.
"Yeah, he said to tell you to call back or 'people will suffer,'" Letty imitated sarcastically.
Oh shit. "All of you get out. Now!" Telfie snapped, whipping the book shut. "Ice cream's in the kitchen. I have to call him back." The four shuffled out.
The phone loomed in front of her.
*
The phone rang again.
"Already?" Juunanagou snapped to nobody in particular. He picked it up. If nothing else, it was an opportunity to practice threats. "I th--"
"Before you say anything, I'm really really sorry. They're stupid twits. I had to go get ice cream to occupy 'em."
"Why did you have them in your house?" Juunanagou said sardonically.
"Momentary lapse of sanity. They didn't annoy you too much, I hope."
"What are they there for?" he asked bluntly.
"School project. It was my mother's idea to let them sleep over because it's due Monday." She laughed. "And it's not like they're doing anything to actualy help me or Alex."
"It'd be just like a human to listen to such a ridiculous idea. Or suggest it for that matter," he remarked sarcastically.
Short pause.
"Hey, could I ask you a question or so?"
"No," he replied bluntly.
"Come on, damn it! I'll do what I did last time, just call back until you pick up again! And they're just little questions, like for an interview."
"I don't want to be interviewed."
"Well too bad!" she crowed. "Hang on a minute."
"No," he repeated again, but she didn't give him the chance.
"Okay, in my journalism class they told me to ask questions which nobody else could answer. Well you cover that just being who you are. I guess this is what they mean by 'exclusive coverage,' huh?"
"Go, away."
"We're doing a report on you two. I'd think you'd want me to get the facts right before I put them on the presentation and paper," she sniffed at him.
"Idiot," he said and put down the phone.
You would think he'd have learned by now. The phone rang again.
Juuhachi glared at her brother. She was getting tired of this stupid phone tag game, damn tired of it. She picked up the phone. "Hello?" she asked, more like a demand, though.
"Oh--hello...uh, I'm guessing you're the sister, right?" said a startled girl's voice.
"What do you want calling us?"
"I'm trying to ask your stupid stubborn brother some questions so I don't get the facts wrong for a paper in school," the girl stammered, having been caught completely off guard.
"Is that all?"
"Y--yes..."
"He'll answer the questions."
"Um...thanks?"
Juuhachi turned to her brother. He looked rather mutinous. "I'm not talking to that thing."
"Yes you are. Now talk," she said and shoved the phone into his hands. "Talk," she ordered in that voice. The one that Juunanagou wasn't stupid enough to disobey.
"Your sister's awesome!!" Telfie exclaimed loudly. "Jeez, I can't believe I said that..."
There was a shuffling sound.
"Ahem...how long have you actually been active?" she asked.
"A long time," he smarted.
"The whole world knows that now tell me something nobody else knows you dweeb!" Telfie said.
"About eleven years," he growled irritably.
"And...what did you do in that one year that you weren't killing people en masse?" Telfie asked, just the slightest hint of a sneer in her voice
"I don't know."
"Why not?"
"Because I wasn't active," he explained impatiently. "I can be deactivated, you know."
"Okay...I'll run that along to the military, okay?" she said, and laughed to herself. "Yeah right. Okay, next question. Does your sister look exactly like you?"
"We're twins. Yes."
"Okay so she's got...chin length black hair and blue eyes, right? If she looks exactly like you."
"Blonde hair," he explained and ignored the questioning look from his sister.
"Righto. Gotcha," she said and must have scribbled something down. "Okay. Hang on a minute. I've only got one more question before I have to go. This is something from a psychologist's book. This should interest you...'It is my belief that the androids kill because of a lacking in--"
"Stop now. Who wrote that book?"
"Some guy named Albert Wyndom."
"Where does he live?"
"You think I'd tell you even if it is bullshit?" she asked. "Hang on - Lane, go back to bed. God damn it..."
"Who's that?" he asked boredly. "I'm hanging up now," he added petulantly.
"What? Oh--right--you do that. Bye," she said and abruptly hung up.
He put the phone down hard and turned around to his sister, who'd already halfway dissapeared through the doorway. "There. Done. Happy?"
"Yes," Juuhachi said and dissapeared up the stairs.
*
Telfie stared down at her little sister. "You're supposed to be in bed."
"I couldn't sleep," the girl said, staring up at Telfie's face with sly green eyes and a grin. "I'm not sleepy neither."
"Musta been all that candy our stupid older brother left out," Telfie murmured and glanced back at the telephone.
"Can I stay up with you guys?" the seven year old girl asked. "I won't be trouble I promise."
"Sure," Telfie replied with a shrug. "You're old enough." She stood up from the chair. "Feel like ice cream?" she asked.
"Yeah!" came her sister's reply.
"Good. We'll need it," she said.
"Why?"
"You'll see," Telfie replied cryptically.
**
Can you say CRAP? -_-
This was so bad in comparison with the first...but then I wrote the first one about nine months ago and just managed to get it posted right. Note - Telfie actually has 4 siblings. An older brother, herself, a younger brother and her youngest sibling, a sister.
Aaanywho, please feel free to review this at any time.