CHAPTER 2 : THE LOST LIBRARY
Familiarising himself with the layout of the castle, Merlin had made some interesting discoveries and learned secrets that shouldn't be repeated. How he arrived at these places he wasn't too sure and he wasn't always too clear on how to get back.
One day, Gaius sent him on a simple errand, or so he thought, to return some books to the library.
He said to him, "It's on this level but right across the castle, go up two flights, turn right, continue the whole length of the corridor, then two lefts and you will be in a main hallway with a magnificent stair case, down one flight, another right and down two more flights and you are there. Would you like me to repeat that?"
"Gaius, the building hasn't been evacuated, if I get lost, I'll ask directions."
"Ask, Sir Geoffrey or his assistant Sir Martin for the two books on this piece of paper and return as soon as possible. Understood?"
"Right!" and with a wave of his free fingers as he held a pile on books to his chest, the intrepid explorer set out.
He was sure he had gone up two flights, down three flights, two right turns and two left turns but if there was a library anywhere down here, he couldn't find it. Not only that but for the last ten minutes, he had seen no one from whom he could ask directions.
The books were getting heavy and his fingers were cramping. He stopped, put the books on a chest in the hallway and straightened his back and then raised his arms as high as he could. He then lowered them giving himself a shake like a dog and decided that he had better try again to find the illusive library.
Merlin's internal compass was not working and he was lost. He was sure that he saw light at the end of the corridor and picking up the books headed off in that direction. He heard voices and breathed a sigh of relief.
He turned a corner and found himself on a landing halfway down a flight of stairs. He looked over the balustrade and saw a group of ten guards sitting below. Gaius had given him a general tour of the castle and had pointed out various areas and mentioned that there were dungeons and cells downstairs for the prisoners. He shouldn't have ended up anywhere near the dungeons. Obviously, he'd gone the wrong way.
The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he decided to quietly retrace his steps on the chances that the other end of the corridor would have friendly looking inhabitants.
He had reached the top of the stairs and was turning into the corridor when he heard his name being called. He stopped and looked around. No one was there. Again he heard his name and the person saying, "At last...Mehr..linn!"
Spooked, he hightailed it down the corridor and ahead of him spied a maidservant with a huge basket of laundry.
"Hello! I think I'm lost. I'm looking for the library and I can't find it."
"It's nowhere near here, it's in the other wing of the castle. Follow me and I will take you onto the correct floor but I can't go all the way there as I have to get this load to the laundry."
Merlin looked at the books and the laundry and offered that in return for her showing him the way, he would carry her large basket if she could balance the books on top of it. The offer was accepted and the books landed up on top of the laundry.
The young girl chattered, obviously happy to be talking to someone new. "I'm Bridget and I'm ten. One day I want to be Queen Igraine's maidservant instead of one of her under-maids. I know its hard work but I can do it, I'm strong and only too willing to obey orders and work hard. Who are you?"
"I'm Merlin and I am the assistant to Gaius, you know, the Court Physician."
"Gaius is kind. He tried very hard to heal me when I was hurt but it didn't help."
"Well," said Merlin, "You seem healthy and strong now."
"Yes, I'm better now. See those stairs, well if you go down them and turn left and then go up two more flights you will be there." She looked at him and said, "Tell me again, which way you are going"
Merlin laughed, she reminded him of his Mam, when she gave him directions, she made sure he knew where he was going by having him repeat them back to her. He took the books and she took her laundry basket and parted.
Merlin turned and said, "Maybe, I'll see you again, Bridget."
"Possibly... tell Gaius, I said thank you."
"I will," and with a wave of his free fingers he started down the stairs saying to himself, 'Turn left...'
Bridget walked along the corridor and disappeared from view.
He found the library exactly where Bridget had said. He smiled. He decided there were always kind people around when you needed them. He felt so stupid, an eighteen year old who had to ask directions of a ten year old maiden.
He knocked and walked into the library. It was magnificent, he could feel the power of the books and their contents. He put Gaius's books on the table and cleared his throat. A young page peeked around the corner and said, "Sir, he's arrived."
Geoffrey whom he recognized as one of Gaius's friends came through and said, "Merlin, where have you been? Gaius sent a page to see if you were down here reading, having forgotten to go back to him." He laughed, "You got lost didn't you? Gaius said that he felt sure that you were really not listening to the directions. Anyway, I'll give you a tour of this wonderful place another day. Here are Gaius's books and Daffyd here, will walk back with you as it will be quicker that way."
Daffyd was a chatterbox and he found out all about his family and his big brother who was a knight. "Are you going to be a knight as well? Why aren't you dressed as a squire?"
Merlin explained that no, he wasn't a squire and did not aspire to be a knight. "I'm Gaius's assistant."
"Cool!" said Daffyd, "He mixes up all sorts of gross things. Maybe if I didn't want to be a knight, I'd like to be a court physician instead."
He made Merlin laugh as not unlike the little maid, he kept repeating the directions, "We climb up these stairs and then make two lefts and one more flight of stairs and then I'll have you back at Gaius's."
Merlin wondered if Arthur had been like this, a little blonde chatterbox who obviously was quite at home in the castle and capable of running messages for other people. He'd have to find out about pages.
True to form, when they reached Gaius's, the lad tapped on the door, walked in and said, "Gaius, he did get lost but no harm done as he finally turned up and Sir Geoffrey told me to being him back to you." Then he turned and smiled at Merlin saying, "Nice to meet you. I'll probably see you around the castle. Bye, Gaius."
Gaius smiled, "Bye Daffyd, keep well."
The little page laughed and left.
"So, where did you get too? Your lunch is on the table, sit down and tell me why it took you three hours to make a twenty minute maximum trip."
Merlin sat down. No wonder his legs felt tired if he'd been gone three hours.
He had a long drink of cider and laughed, "I got hopelessly lost. I ended up on a stairway and looking down I saw ten guards sitting around, so I guess, I was near the dungeons. Then I could swear that I heard someone call my name, a man by the sound of it with an educated voice." He ate some of the bread and cheese and continued after another large sip of cider. "Luckily, I backtracked and met up with the cutest little under maid. She had a huge basket of laundry and I took the laundry and she balanced the books on top. In return, she got me near the library and then took back the laundry and went down another corridor."
He ate for a while. Gaius was smiling and he had sat down again and poured himself a drink. "Luckily, you were able to find someone who knew the way."
"Yes, and she also said to thank you for the help you had given her. She said that it hadn't worked but it must have because she seems hale and hearty now. Do you remember her, her name is Bridget.?"
Gaius's goblet went spinning off the table, he looked at Merlin with shocked eyes. "How old was she?"
"She said she was ten and wanted to be Queen Igraine's maidservant. And I think she might be one day as she is very capable and well spoken. Gaius, who is Queen Igraine?"
Merlin looked at Gaius and wondered if he shouldn't encourage him to lie down. He didn't look well. Merlin walked around the table and picked up the goblet and went over to the cupboard and poured a small amount of mead. Gaius needed something a little stronger than cider. He handed it to Gaius and stood there, waiting for him to drink some of it.
"Merlin, we won't talk about this to anyone especially Arthur. Do you understand?" He took another sip of the mead.
"But, he wouldn't mind your drinking mead. My Mam says that a little is good for you if you have had a shock. Did you get a shock Gaius? Why?"
"Tell me about the girl."
"She seemed like a normal little girl who works in the castle."
"Come, sit with me and listen carefully. Twenty years ago, the king's wife Queen Igraine went into labour, she delivered a little baby boy and died. The king was heart-broken and rejected the baby and I raised him but you know all that."
"I didn't know that her name was Igraine."
Gaius took another little sip. "The king wanted someone to blame so he turned on the staff who were present when the baby was born. One little maid said that they should have called a Druid healer to help and he heard her. He had her taken to the dungeons and tortured. Her name was Bridget and she was ten years old. The king then lost interest in the whole thing and the girl was left in the dungeons. One of the senior knights was approached by the Officer of the Guards and I was asked to go and check on her. I will spare you the details but she had not only been tortured but abused. There was nothing I could do for her. The guards got her a cot and tried to get her to eat but she lived for another two weeks in the dungeons and died."
Merlin felt sick. "Gaius, that lovely little girl suffered and died because of Arthur's father's hatred of magic and all things magical. Why are you still around? Why did my Mam send me here?"
"We are safe as long as no one knows of your powers and more importantly, promise me, that you will never tell Arthur about Bridget. He has had a hard enough time building a bond with his father and this might just prove to be its undoing."
Merlin sat there shaking his head. 'Who would attack a ten year old? The more he learned about Camelot, the more he wondered if he wanted to stay, but then there was Gaius...and Arthur.'
"Come on, we need to get out in the fresh air. Let's see if we can find anything in the market that might be useful for making concoctions and salves. A few of the peddlers sometimes have herbs and things which they put on one side for me. Finish your cider and we'll be on our way."
"Don't make anything which pongs, please Gaius!"
Arthur had finished training early. He had a couple of hours before supper. He walked over to the window to see what was going on in the courtyard. The lower town had been very busy because today was market day.
He immediately picked out the two of them walking back across the courtyard. Merlin had a basketful of he didn't-know-what and he was in deep conversation with Gaius. He went to wave at them but realised that whatever they were talking about, was intense because neither was looking around. Merlin didn't look too happy, probably in trouble again. He shook his head and smiled.
Arthur had to talk to Merlin in private. He needed to apologise for being mean to him when he delivered the medicine. He couldn't tell him in front of Gaius so he had to get him alone.
He hated apologies. He never knew what to say. He decided that he should practice a little routine. He stood in front of his mirror and said, "Merlin, I'm sorry! No maybe not, 'Merlin I'm sorry', just, I'm sorry." Pretty obvious if they were alone that he was talking to him. And then he'd say maybe, "It was unforgivable of me to treat you in such an unseeming manner especially in face of my only just finding out that you had returned to Camelot."
'Hogwash!' he thought. 'That sounded awful. I sounded like a person trying to talk above his mental ability when pleading in the council chambers.'He wasn't getting anywhere. 'I'm hopeless, Leon made it sound so easy, feel sorry and then just say how you feel. I have to see him today as the longer I wait the harder it will get for both of us.'
Although Arthur looked for Merlin the rest of the day, he never came across him. Remembering Leon's advice in the late afternoon he went down to Gaius's to see if he was there.
Minutes before the door opened and Arthur poked his head in, Merlin had suddenly said. "Gaius, I'm going to my room. If anyone wants me, I'm not here."
"Right," said Gaius absentmindedly from the table where he was working.
Arthur walked in glanced quickly around the room and said to Gaius, "Where's Merlin?"
Gaius had already nodded with his head towards the stairs as he carefully measured something what looked to Arthur like snails' slime into a mortar. Arthur took two steps across the room to have Gaius say, "Sorry, he's not here."
Arthur stopped dead and looked straight at Gaius who shrugged his shoulders and gave a pleading look to Arthur that he not advance any further?
"What do you want with him? I can send him to your chambers when he returns if it's something important."
Arthur thought of what Leon had said, pain could be mitigated in some cases by asking for forgiveness. Not knowing if Merlin would ever want to speak to him again, he decided to make a clean breast of it and truthfully told Gaius how unfair, immature and annoying he had been yesterday when Merlin had delivered the vial. "I didn't think of him as Merlin, I had fun at his expense, made him look stupid and Daniel was there. Gaius, I was wrong. Could you ask him to come to see me in my chambers? I am dining alone this evening and would like company if he could bear to spend some time with me."
Arthur realised how easy it had been to bare his soul to Gaius but would he be able to do it while looking into Merlin's eyes? He worried that he wouldn't be able, but he was certainly going to try.
"If he doesn't want to come, I understand." Suddenly, Arthur realised that his eyes had filled with tears. He was embarrassed, what would Gaius think, a twenty year old getting emotional.
He couldn't trust himself to say anything so he just left the chambers.
Gaius continued working, he knew that unless Merlin was fast asleep he would have heard the whole conversation. He didn't intend to let on that he knew he could have heard but picked up the pestle and continued mixing finely ground dried parsley into his snail slime. He realised that Arthur was really upset, not often that he apologized to anyone but him and his closest friends.
Ten minutes later, Merlin walked down the stairs with his hair ruffled and yawning. Not the greatest acting but it stopped any discussion of what he might have heard of Artur's visit.
Looking up, Gaius said, "Oh, there you are. You had a visitor while you were asleep. Arthur wanted to know if you would like to join him for supper in his chambers. If you don't want to go, he said something about he'd understand.
"Why don't you go? You have been hanging around here nearly all day. A change of scenery will do you good. He's not a bad sort and he certainly never forgot you over all those years. Go see what he wants. You can excuse yourself if you don't want to stay. It's just that many young men would be honoured to be the guest of the Crown Prince for a private supper. Ignore that he is a prince, treat him like a person, it will do him good."
Merlin's lips parted slightly and he smiled. Gaius thought, 'You are going to break some girl's heart one day.'
Merlin thought about the invitation to supper with Arthur. He couldn't make up his mind. He had heard every word of the conversation which he had had with Gaius but he was still a little annoyed that Arthur had even considered being a smart aleck with him, in the first place. His Mam had always been strict about apologizing and never going to bed mad with someone, so he decided to let Arthur have his opportunity to say that he was sorry.
"I guess, I should go, it can't be worse than yesterday but I'm not going to treat him as a prince until he earns my respect. What time will he expect me?"
"Give him time to tidy himself up and then when my supper is delivered here, you can go up to Arthur's."
Gaius hoped that by then Arthur had got control of his emotions or whatever it was that had him so upset.
Dawdling up the stairs and along the corridor, Merlin was still amazed that he could stay indoors all day without feeling enclosed. There was so much room and space and it was comparatively warm. Sooner than he had hoped Arthur's door loomed before him. He swallowed, he'd never worried about anything before he arrived here. There was something about Arthur that he couldn't fathom but not in a threatening way more a feeling that still waters run deep.