-Grado-Riane sighed. "AGAIN about my mother?!" She clammed up immediately after realizing what she had just said. "...Sorry..."
"It's alright." Lyon said softly. A small cupid shaped like Eirika, visible only in his mind, appeared in a thought bubble above his head and slapped him. "THROW THE UNGRATEFUL WENCH IN BED!!!" Thought bubble Lyon ran and hid his head in a corner and screamed "NOES!!" The thought bubble popped, and Lyon realized that after the interrogation, he needed some sleep. Badly. And snuggle time with Eirika.-Grado, teh Dungeon-"I confess! I confess! I did it in the kitchen with the spork!" a disconsolate Flisk howled and slammed his fists against the walls of his prison. Lyon stared rather bemusedly at the boy. He had no clue what to do with him. True, he needed to find out what the kid was up to, but he certainly wasn't going to torture anyone just to get answers! Maybe Riane could think of some way to-"Ahhhhhh! I see the light at the end of the tunnel! It's all over for me, saps! If only a certain beautiful daughter of my evil tormentor would come and set me free..." Flisk started singing."IF ONLY, if only, the woodpecker sighs,the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky-""Permission to throw something at the prisoner, sir?" A guard asked, gritting his teeth at the horrible noise.-Gerudo Desert-One shampoo bottle was different than the rest. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, were it not for how it was different: it was animate. And this sadistic shampoo bottle was bubbling over with happiness at seeing the two pretty boys strangle each other.Nicole stared in rapt fascination at the shampoo bottle. She had been considering hiring these two nincompoops to help her, but the bottle seemed to be the smartest of the lot. Realizing the wizards were of no use, Nicole then left for home.-Somewhere-Nicole skulked angrily. Nothing was going right. What was an evil overlord to do? She sighed and prepared to sink into her throne for another night of reading 'How to Rule the World' manuals when she sensed a presence in the room. The candles she so enjoyed sputtered and went out. She whipped around in the darkness, turning slightly dragonish in her alarm. Two red orbs appeared. They glinted with cruel laughter."I hear you want to obtain the Sacred Stone, girl..."Whatever was talking was just as strong as she was. She bared her teeth."Who's asking?""My name is Fomortiis. I want to help you...""Really. And in return, what do you get?"White fangs gleamed into existence in front of her, smiling wickedly."When you are through with him... Lyon is mine."-Grado-"Dad? Mom's worried about why you're taking so long." Riane gracefully--out of habit, of course--descended the dungeon steps. "Oh. Him." "Hey. Psst. I can... make transportation portals. I could take you, to... anywhere you want to go!! ...Like my bedroom... nudge nudge wink wink... But you gotta let me outta here!" Flisk said frantically to the descending Riane.Lyon frowned. "Stop talking to my daughter like that." Flisk stuck his nose in the air. "Why? Make me, pretty boy!" A thought popped into Lyon's mind, and he smiled slightly and whispered an incantation. Flisk fell down, rolling on the ground, laughing. "Noooes! IT TICKLES!! STOP!! I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING, YOU WICKED MEANIE!!""Alright, then. Who hired you, and why?""SOME CRAZY HAWT LADY, I DUNNO HER NAAAME!""Why?""TO BUY ROCK CANDY!! HOLY ROCK CANDY!!""...The Sacred Stone?""SURE!! AND SHE WANTED ME TO KIDNAP YOU, FOO!""Why did she want to kidnap me?""TO TALK TO ABOUT THE ROCK CANDY!!!"Lyon waved his hand, and the giggling wanna-be-pimp stopped cackling. -Gerudo Desert-If the shampoo bottle had a voice, it would be laughing maniacally. Instead, it continued to bubble over as the "nincompoops" began slinging spells."Hey gu-rls, I got you a friend!" Dingledorf walked in happily and addressed the two mages. Vaati was sitting in a bowl of soapy water to extinguish the fire Soren had started on his pants, and Soren was sporting clown makeup. The fight had been pretty nasty, all right. Dingledorf opened the door and pushed in a girl with purple hair, and the sight of her made both the mages scream. Lute looked calmly at her unfortunate victims. "Who wants to play drink the potion I created? Artur's out on some religious journey for a week, and I'm bored. I want to test the effects of love potions on idiotic males.""Have mercy!!" Vaati moaned."...We're screwed." Soren said, closing his eyes in resignation. The shampoo bottle blew bubbles at the two and bubbled in excitement. This was going to be fun!! Then, however, Vaati threw the bottle at Lute in self-defense, and it burst open. A drunken-looking fairy named Navi fell out. "Hey! Hey! Listen! I'm a genie in a shampoo bottle, baby Come, come, come and let me out...-hic.-"
-Somewhere-Shadowy creatures cackled all around, menacing, though one broke off into a coughing fit. All the others paused to stare at it, ruining the effect.-Da Hill-"R-Roxas?! Since when were you in here?!" Sora asked before bashing his head on a decrepit skeleton lying on the ground. "Owww!"
At that moment, the horde of fangirls who were supposed to be going to Grado bumbled in.
"SQUEEE!! It's SORA!!"
-Grado-"Errr..." Riane was speechless, and looking particularly disturbed by Flisk's actions. "No...comment..."
"If I told you I was truly a sad and lonely person, would you like meee?"
Flisk asked hopefully.
Lyon shook his head. He'd figure out what to do with the shifter in the morning. He needed sleep... The last few days, remnants of his old, vivid nightmares about Fomortiis had reappeared and kept him from resting. He tiredly climbed the stairs, bidding Riane goodnight, stumbled to his room, and collapsed on the bed, to sleepy to even change into one of his sleeping tunics. He wondered dimly if Eirika would be here soon... She'd been out in the city today. Riane had said she was looking for him, so she must have returned. Perhaps she'd gone to get some food from the kitchens... Lyon yawned and rolled over... and right into a pair of luminous yellow eyes.
Sindriss blinked.
"I am Sindrisss! I am the Taker of Life! I am the-"
Sindriss crossed his four scaly limbs.
"Dragon who reeeally has to go potty."
"Is this the one?"
A girl with white tresses, sitting cross-legged in an armchair near the foot of the bed, asked without any real interest. Lyon sat up, and saw the black, shadowy form roiling in the air next to her.
"Hello... Lyon." Fomortiis hissed.
-Gerudo-
The shampoo bottle's bubbles became drips. That hurt, dammit! Why, if it had limbs, it would strangle Vaati! But all it could do is hope the Drunken Navi Clone #1337 could handle it.
Lute menacingly waved a pink, heart-shaped bottle in the air.
"Who wants it?"
The 1337 drunken Navi giggled and flew up Soren's nose, which resulted in a very akward moment. Then Dingle walked in. "Oooh... bubbles." Drip drip. Why, oh why did they all ignore its pain? Because it was naught but a shampoo bottle? Perhaps its close buddy, the Animate Love Potion, would understand. It bubbled out a desperate cry to its friend. The animate love potion frothed a reply and whacked Vaati on the head until he grudgingly 'healed' the shampoo bottle. Soren made a break for the open door. Lute grabbed him by his leg, tripping him. "Oh no you don't, experiment."
-Somewhere-
"Oh no..." Sora winced as the glob of people was added to by the horde of squealing girls, then marveled for a moment at how the heck they were still moving. "WERE ON A ROLLER COASTER, THAT'S WHY!!"
Screamed someone, and then they came to the loop-de-loop...
Fomortiis' scattered minions cackled again, this time a Gwilligi quickly silencing the Maleduin who had fallen over coughing last time. The effect was not ruined. Jigglypuff and Kirby, new recruits for the army, had a make-out scene in the background.
"But that doesn't make any sense!" Sora screamed, clinging to the cart with one hand and grabbing whatever else he could with the other--which just so happened to be Roxas' sleeve. "Nonsense! It makes all the sense in the world!" said the mad rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, before drinking some tea and falling over backwards in his seat.
Roxas gave Sora a funny look.
"Paws off the awesomness, scrumper."
He snatched his arm away, which sadly knocked Donald overboard.
"QUUUUUUUACK!!"
"Holy..." Poor Sora cut himself off before he could comment on the overboard duck. "This is getting weirder by the second," he said, ducking and sending a flailing Mia overboard. "Oops..." Sora's situation was only about to get worse, because just then, Alex, working in tandem with the demon's nasties, pressed 'The Button.'
Dunt dunt dunttttt:O
-Hyrule-
The shampoo bottle bubbled its thanks before continuing to watch, amused. Then it realized something.Lute was going to actually make them drink the potion.Its friend was to be CONSUMED.With a squeak, it summoned 1336 other Drunken Navi Clones, commanding them to rescue the love potion from Lute's clutches! The drunken Navi clones of Impending Doom swarmed the prodigy, allowing Soren and Vaati to escape. Dingle, meanwhile, squealed happily at all the whirly lights that were the fairies, and stuffed some down his pants to see if they would make him float in the air.
The two mages ran as far as they could, then fell, panting. Vaati conjured up a wind to cool him off, and on that wind, he heard the sounds of approaching chaos, which sounded like this-
"Mama mia, Luigi! That stupid broada got herself a kidnapped againa!"
"Foood!"
"You're like the Shaggy from a Scooby-dooie-a! Alla you do a is eatta and run like a chicken!"
"Foood!"
-Somewhere-The puffballs received glares from all other monsters present. Now if that didn't ruin the effect, nothing would. A gargoyle farted.The army couldn't take it anymore, and about half the monsters exploded from the sheer mental agony. Fomortiis was sooo going to kill them.
A Gorgon hissed. "Anyone else want to wreck this scene?""Mmmph?" The Dracozombie accompanying them looked up from chewing on Riane's blue braid. Hey wait...
Sora winced. "Well...at least I'm not being held captive by some demonic force or something whack."Actually, 'The Button' released a demonic force that WOULD attempt to hold Sora captive.It was fluffy.Pink.Bunny shaped.And horribly evil.