The Time Within.
"I pray you, do not fall in love with me,
For I am falser than vows made in wine."
- William Shakespeare, As You Like It.
Holding his arm out to catch the light he inspected the silver necklace one last time, it was perfect. Attaching the letter and small box to the owl's outstretched leg, Draco paused, not to think about the night that lay ahead of him, just paused. And for once took in his surroundings. No precedence of pride or wealth was acknowledged or needed within the owlery. He was free of that burden. The tall, deep green pine trees capped with snow were the only visible colouring under the blanket of white. But somehow this green breaking through was all he needed to feel at peace. For all his duties as a Malfoy to be swept aside, put to rest for this moment.
A muffled sneeze from behind him brought his painful reality crashing back down, encircling him like a vulture. He sent the owl flying and turned to face the intruder.
- Sorry, I tried to be silent.
The voice almost squeaked, fear written upon her face.
His heart thudded loudly as he heard her voice, yet he still only nodded curtly in her direction. The girl was standing beside one of the school's dark brown owls, the feathers harmonising with the rich chocolate of her eyes. His trademark Malfoy sneer was once again plastered on Draco's face, masking it from the surge of emotions running through him at Hermione Granger's presence. Turning he made his way to the exit, pulling open the old wooden doors. Draco faltered as he took a step out of the door, but continued on, ignoring the sigh behind him.
The pounding rhythm of his purposeful footsteps as he descended the steep stairs of the owlery regulated his heart. As he reached the final step he turned to look back at the owlery. It was half obscured by gracefully falling snow. He saw the brown owl take flight. Draco breathed a sigh of relief. Had the brown-eyed girl been there but a minute earlier, he would have had no need for the owl to deliver the necklace.
The winter air was tightening and tore at his lungs on the icy journey back to the castle. When he finally pushed open the entrance doors Draco was shivering from the bitter cold, his stomach let out a rumble betraying his ravenous state. Glancing at his watch lunch was just about to start. At this moment the grandfather clocks deafening boom rattled through the air. No sooner had he begun to make his way in its direction, than the thundering of approaching students began to echo around him, erupting in chatter that appeared to bounce of the walls. From the snippets of conversation he heard, Draco deciphered that most was revolving around the Yule Ball tonight.
- Yes I heard that Harry Potter was taking.. Yes! Flitwick was talking about that!.. I wish I was invited.. It better be worth it, those dance classes were horrible...
Sitting at the Slytherin table he felt that something was missing.. it struck him when Pansy's drawling voice wasn't trying to catch his attention.
Where were the girls?
Sure, there were girls in the Hall, but all those in Fourth Year and above were absent. Surely they weren't getting ready now? They still had four hours! These thoughts vanished from his mind as the lunch appeared in front of him. The house elves in the kitchen had out done themselves today. Draco sniggered at his appreciation of them, if his Father had been able to read his thoughts at that moment.. Well it would be worth it to be able to witness his spluttering reaction. He spent half an hour gorging on sandwiches, soup and fresh biscuits, and waited a polite half an hour more in silence for his fellow Slytherins to finish their lunch, before excusing himself and exiting the Great Hall. Three hours to go, Draco thought he might as well head to the library for an hour or two and start his Potion's essay.
When Draco arrived back to his dormitory two hours later, satisfied by what he had achieved in the library, there were three boxes staring at him from his four-poster bed, they were accompanied by a letter emblazed with the Malfoy insignia. He picked up the letter first, slicing it open with his finger.
- Draco, the two large boxes contain your dress robe selection. One is what you asked for directly. The other is what your Mother and I advise and would prefer you to wear. I do hope you take the advice. Inquire after Pansy for us, you will find something for her to wear tonight within the smaller box, it matches her gown. Make sure she receives it. Your Mother sends her love. Lucius Malfoy.
Draco stared at the letter. Questioning,
- Love to whom?
Placing the letter on his bedside table Draco lifted the lid of the first box. It was his Mother and Father's selection: black dress robes accompanied with a red tie. Although elegantly made, his mind had been set on his own choice.
He eagerly turned to the second box, hands already reaching for the lid. Its contents were exactly what Draco had been hoping for. Although his parents showed clear signs of disapproval at the design they would never have sent him anything that was less than what he had asked for, a typical trait of his Mother's. Draco laid the silver suit on his bed, placing the blue tie between the layers and black shoes at the foot.
His mood darkened as his attention was drawn to the small box still lying untouched. Ripping off the packaging to look within he caught sight of a magically enhanced pearl necklace. It had been made to glisten without light touching it and was blacker than the stroke of midnight.
- Just like her soul.
The petty thought escaped Draco's lips before he could prevent it.He threw the box up once, catching it as it fell straight back into the palm of his hand, measuring its weight. Draco took aim and threw it out the half-closed window at the other end of the dormitory. He couldn't help the smile forming on his lips. Checking the time he saw that he had half an hour until students attending the ball were to be outside the Great Hall. Draco dressed into his silver dress robe and turned to the mirror to carefully place his tie around his neck. When he was happy he turned to his top draw and pulled out a photo, he couldn't help the smile that touched his lips. Replacing it carefully within the drawer, he noticed it didn't shut properly, but Draco wasn't fussed. Feeling pleased with his appearance, he left his dormitory.
The hush of the common room sent a deathly chill through Draco's bones as he meandered across the black tiles, illuminated by the dark green of the lake above. The diminishing rays of sunlight found their way into the Slytherin common room, creating the only light source in the fading afternoon glow. The sun was trickling away, reminding Draco of blood from a wound. Brilliant green flames crackled to life within the fireplace, creating a substitute light, as he watched the final pure rays disappear beneath the pool of green, the darkness nagging at the sunlight to evaporate into the setting day. The door handle beneath Draco's clenched hand twitched, releasing his iron grip. It swung inwards and the frame was flooded with red. Draco moved to evade the torrent, but it had already blocked his escape.
- There's no need to show your admiration so openly, Draco.
He could have gagged. Nothing about Pansy Parkinson appealed to him. Her eyes showed no intelligence, no wit. His parents' ignorance to the failure of their pairing again seared through him in a wave of anger. They had no common ground; it could only end in tragedy. She stared at him expectantly; waiting for the appropriate compliment he always paid her. The green flames licked the corner of his vision, catching the fire within him.
- Comment pouvez-vous vivre dans ce rêve?
The words muttered their way from Draco's mouth.
- What does that mean?
The flattery echoed within her voice threatened Draco's last meal to reappear.
- Comment pouvez-vous vivre dans ce cauchemar?
- Enough, Draco. Don't you have something for me?
He could see her eyes scanning his robes, searching for the hidden gift she believed he had.
- Does it look like I have something for you?
He feigned oblivion. A baffled expression consumed Pansy's face and Draco chose this moment to break through her crumbling barrier. He marched toward the Yule Ball alone leaving the red girl, stunned, in his wake.
His determined stride away from Pansy eventually slowed to an even pace. His thoughts began to roll around in his head.
- Would she wear the necklace? Would she work it out after seeing him in the owlery today?
He came to a complete halt and took a deep breath, he was being ridiculous. Glancing at his watch Draco let out a sharp breath, he should already be there. Setting off again he quickened his pace, but not so much that he would arrive ruffled. His family name held a standard Draco was to uphold, otherwise, his father would hear about it.
He arrived as the Professors were ushering the crowd of students into the hall. As he passed a few groups of people he heard a few intakes of breath and some Third Year girls, who had been lucky to gain an invitation, giggle. Draco sent them an icy stare. If there was one thing that he had inherited from his father it was his loathing of being laughed at, and giggling counted. He hated how the trait was his fathers, but there wasn't much he could do about it except watch the girls retreat into the hall. As he was one of the last to arrive he was pushed to the back of the crowd to watch the champions enter with their partners. Not that he particularly minded. Draco was fiddling with his watch as they entered, not paying particular attention, until Hermione's name caught his attention. He craned his neck over the crowd, cursing that he hadn't gotten there earlier, because there she was, attending the Yule Ball with, none other than, Victor Krum.
Krum. Draco couldn't believe it. He sunk down into the closest chair, confused at his reaction. Was he really going to get emotional over this? No. He stood again, a little too defiantly, as some people threw him confused looks. The Champions began to dance: Harry Potter and Lavender Brown, Fleur Delacour and Rodger Davies, Cedric Diggory and Cho Chang, Victor Krum and Hermione Granger.
Her blue dress flowed around her. It reminded Draco of the first and only time his parents had taken him to the beach, the surprising beauty of the water rolling in and kissing the sand. Krum lifted her into the air, his hands on her waist, spinning her around, the light catching on her dress.
And, something silver around her neck.
Draco's shock at this observation left him standing like a statue. He wasn't aware of people moving around him until he was almost alone at the back of the Hall. Almost.
Pansy was watching him, with a hideous grin upon her face. It reminded him of a hyena taunting its cornered prey. Pansy broke the stalemate and crossed no man's land to stand directly in front of Draco, blocking his view.
- You may not think much of me, Draco Malfoy. But you're going to have to learn to change your attitude.
- There is nothing you could do or say, Pansy, to make that happen.
Hurt flashed across her face, but was replaced with her previous smile. Draco couldn't help but feel a little off putted at the sight of it.
- I really doubt that. You see, you left me standing there feeling quite ridiculous earlier. I really didn't appreciate it.
The attempt at a sweet voice could not harbour the rising threat. Draco's lips felt dry.
- I knew something wasn't right with you, and as you were the last male leaving for the ball..
Pansy paused, her smile widening.
- You should really know that the last person to leave their dormitory is supposed to lock the door.
Draco licked his lips, they were beginning to crack. Pansy was clearly relishing in the power she held over him.
- At first I was just looking for my present. Yes, I know about the present, Draco, your Mother sent me a letter, she would be very disappointed in you for not giving it too me. But your top drawer was slightly opened, and, you know me. I'm curious. But what I found, Draco, what would your dear father think?
Her mockery was stretching Draco to breaking point. His hand twitched, ready to reach for his wand. Pansy must have realised that she'd reached his limit as she pulled her, previously unnoticed, clenched fist in between them and Draco knew there was only one possibility of what it could be. Pansy's hand unfolded and he saw the photo he'd only looked at but two hours previous. He'd cut it out of 'Young Witches and Wizards: Hogwarts' Most Promising Students' article over a year ago now, the article both he and Hermione had been chosen for. Draco's hand moved to take the photo from Pansy, but she hid it from his view.
- Ah, Draco.. Oh, this won't do. This won't do at all.
Pansy's eyes closed, for a brief moment, and opened simultaneously with her palm, but before Draco could try and reclaim his photo it burst into flames, disintegrating faster than the flash of a camera. Pansy moved to stand by his side. They both watched Hermione dance, Draco's fury boiling his blood and Pansy bathing in her power over him.
- I'll make this simple for you, Draco. Forget your stupid fantasies and nothing will happen to your.. precious.. little.. Mudblood.
Pansy accentuated her final words, pushing their meaning into Draco's flabbergasted face.
- And, Draco. Don't take this lightly. Your Father and I, well, let's just say that he'd believe my word over yours. Especially when it's to do with the bloodline he would do anything to preserve. I'll find you toward the end of the Ball and you can walk me back to the common room, do at least something that would make your Parent's proud.
As she turned away Draco's eyes moved back toward Hermione, but thoughts of his Father and their Pureblood status nagged at his thoughts. There was no denying that Pansy spoke the truth, there was not much Lucius Malfoy wouldn't do. Draco's thought back to his second year, where Lucius was the catalyst for the opening of the Chamber of Secrets. He had almost killed Hermione then, unintentionally, and well, if he had an intention to kill her.. Draco shook his head, and as he did so returned to the moment where he had seen Hermione moments before she was petrified by the Basilisk.
It was minutes before Gryffindor played Hufflepuff in Quiddich, but Hermione was headed in the opposite direction, to the library. It was a typical habit for Hermione, but not when the flood of students was trying to push her in the opposite direction. The sight of her determined face swimming upstream caught Draco's attention, so he followed her. In the library she entered the 'Dangerous Creatures' section, and pulled down the biggest book on the shelf. Draco hid himself in a position to see, but not be seen. He watched her look around, almost as if she was crossing a road, and then tear out a page and crumple it up in her hand. Draco felt his jaw drop, Hermione Granger defiling a book? It was like Neville Longbottom coming first in Potions class, unheard of. What was she up to? Hermione replaced the book, pulled something out of her bag and headed to the library's exit. Not understanding her behaviour Draco walked back to the Quiddich match, only to arrive upon its cancellation by another attack on a student.
It would be hours later that he would hear Hermione Granger was found, petrified, holding a mirror.
He should have known then and there that she had figured out the monster in the Chamber of Secrets was a Basilisk, that she was using the mirror to not look it directly in the eye. He didn't protect her then, but, could he protect her now?
Krum was spinning her around again, but this time Hermione caught Draco's eye as she completed the first rotation. On her second, she craned her neck to look at him, her brown curls whipping Krum in the eye. Draco chuckled at her expression of mortification and moved to sit with his silent, Slytherin friends at a nearby table. Draco didn't know how long he sat at the table, catching sight of Hermione every now and then looking for something, for him? He didn't know. Pansy's irritating tap on his shoulder telling him that it was time to go, filled him with a sense of dread, leaving the Hall with Pansy would take him away from any chance with Hermione. But one look at her smiling face told him that it would be the best gift he could ever give her. The way to save her from endless turture, Draco realised. Pansy, already at the door, ushered for him
He continued his determined stride out of the Great Halls golden double doors, faltering only once.
Faltering only to take one final glance.
- Look at me, please.
As if feeling his silent plea, Hermione Granger shifted to face the doors, catching the eye of the boy in silver. With their eyes locked Hermione cocked her head to one side, her hands moving to her throat in striking realisation. Draco only had moments left. He let his heart feel one final surge of happiness, seeing her lips call his name, before turning away as the clock boomed, beginning its to count to twelve.
Each boom taking him further and further away from her.
Silencing his feelings forever.