Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate Atlantis, its people, places, or plotlines, I would definitely be living on the set in Vancouver and sleeping in a hammock strung from the Stargate. Since I do not live on the set in Vancouver and I do not sleep in a hammock strung from the Stargate, it can safely be concluded that I do not own Stargate Atlantis, its people, places, or plotlines. Though nothing will ever stop me from wishing I did.
Rating: T
A/N: Hiya, people. Woohoo!! Chapter two!!! Okay so…what to say about this one… I don't think there's much to say really. The content speaks for itself I believe. All the same, don't jump to any conclusion about anybody at this point. Remember, this is still early in the story, and the characters have had a month and a half you haven't seen to get to where they are. If you have any doubts about anyone…try to remember what they were like in the last story. That's all I gotta say.
Thanks: As always to my lovely Twinie, who is doing her best to keep me sane through the school year. She's doing a wonderful job. To Bann, who is my lovely beta and who is keeping the story conducive to the plot, despite my ramblings sometimes leading elsewhere. I dedicate this Chapter to her and her willingness to print this stuff off and beta in a day and a half to have it back to me before she leaves again. Thanks boss! Also, thanks to Widget for the introduction to the "watch-a-movie-while-chatting-online", it's great fun.
Now, on to chapter two!
Chapter Two: Dynamics
I was so angry at Ashlei that I'd forgotten that I had been a little angry at Rayne, too. Not that I had a terribly good reason to be. Rayne had, over the course of the last few weeks, put her negotiating classes to work in keeping Ashlei and I from blowing up at each other. Rayne, who had worried and fretted over Ashlei as much as I had; Rayne, who, no matter what I did or said, always forgave me. Why should I be mad at her?
I stopped dead where I was and waited for Rayne to catch up. "Sorry." I apologized. Rayne looked taken aback, but she recovered as quickly as ever, seemingly fully able to understand what had just gone on in my head.
"It's alright, I understand."
"You shouldn't have to. I'm just so irritated."
"Believe me, Del, I know exactly what you mean. But she is trying." Rayne assures me as we enter the mess, get our food, and sit down at an empty table.
"Is she really?" I demand as the two of us start eating. "Ashlei never goes anywhere unless Ashlei wants to go. Yet now she's 'being forced' off to random portions of the city." Silence floods the area around us until we finish eating.
"The old Ashlei may have been that way, but she's changed Del. We've talked about this." She attempts to reason as we get up and dump our trays.
"I know we've talked about it. It bears repeating. Physics now, right?" I add, changing the subject.
"Yes. Maybe she'll be there."
"Don't count on it."
"Del," Rayne sighs. "Leave her alone. Let it go. She didn't expect things to turn out this way anymore than anyone else did."
"Mmm." I shrug, not saying anything one way or another, but my tone still expresses my doubt on the matter.
"Del!" Rayne snaps. "She has the shape of the city on her wrist. She keeps getting pulled away from what she wants to do to tell people if it's okay to open doors! She doesn't want this and if you were ever to take a moment to listen to her, you'd know that!" The obvious irritation from the normally calm and collected Rayne shocked me. It caught me so off guard that I couldn't say anything, so the two of us continued toward Physics in an awkward silence.
The mark Rayne mentioned is on the inside of Ashlei's wrist. I want to say it's her right wrist, but I never really paid enough attention to which hand it was she was waving in my face. The mark is one of the reasons Carson was running so many tests on her. We missed it in all the excitement over the coming storm and the fact that the city is sentient. Or, I should say, we missed it at first.
Ashlei woke up around noon the next day and immediately noticed a tenderness in her wrist. She looked down and there it was. The edges of the mark were sort of fuzzy. It was almost bruise-like. One of the main reasons Carson was so concerned was that it started out a sort of purple-black bruise color and ended up a pale shade of blue, sort of like how veins look through skin.
Carson was never really sure how it got there. Had it just been a bruise, he wouldn't have worried, but when the mark turned that pale blue instead of fading, he got curious. It wasn't a burn mark and there wasn't any dye of any kind in Ashlei's skin. It was a mystery and Carson had eventually given up on it. Ashlei, on the other hand, never cared why or how; she just wanted it gone. Ashlei was more irritated by the mark than I could find reason to explain.
For now, the mark serves to let Ashlei know when Atlantis wants to speak with her. Carson says that it's likely that it will continue to fill this purpose until Ashlei's link to the city is strong enough that she no longer needs the mark.
Rayne's voice pulled me from my reverie.
"Rodney" she greets. I look up in time to catch my father's short nod of acknowledgement. His eyes, once they meet mine, never stray. He looks, in a word, pissed. "I'll go over there for awhile." Rayne shoots me a supportive look as she beats a hasty retreat.
"I've just spoke to your brother, Delilah." I wince slightly at the use of my full name. This is worse than I originally thought. With a name like Meredith, my father fully comprehends my desire to go by some name other than my given one. Because of that, he usually just calls me Del… except when he's really mad. At this point I have the choice of either being evasive or being straight. Given the options and the anger and irritation I can see in his eyes, I opt for straight.
"Then you should know he already talked to me and we came to an agreement."
"Yes, he told me. It doesn't matter. You can't keep going like you have been. It's exhausting to you and to the people around and to me because I have to keep hearing about it. Not to mention it certainly isn't healthy. Sleep is important. Believe me. It's like a new recharger battery for a laptop…You know what? Never mind what it's like! You need to stop worrying about everything and just go get some sleep." His tone is growing harsher by the sentence. "You-You just concentrate on school, you eat meals, and you sleep. That's it. Just-Just leave the rest to the adults." My temper flares as he ends his tirade.
"Adults?" I glare. "And which adults would those be? The General? Elizabeth? Radek? Carson? You?!"
"Yes. Them. And me. Certainly me."
"NO! Certainly not you." I'm snarling now and I realize it. I don't really want to be, but at this point my temper is taking control of my words. "You, with your precious lab and your precious work and your precious plan. You, who are trying to fix this and trying to plan this or save that! You don't care about what happened to Ashlei that day anymore than anybody else does. I'm the only one who cares about it anymore!"
"Del. You're too involved in this. Leave it to people who can think clearly about it." The look in his electric blue eyes, eyes that I share, softens slightly as he thinks he's found the root of the problem. He thinks he knows what wrong with me. I'm not having it. He doesn't know. He doesn't have the slightest clue.
"Oh and what people would those be? The same ones I mentioned before? The ones who really don't care?! You alone are so busy that I know you aren't getting much more sleep than I am."
"I have the fate of every single person in this city resting on my shoulders. It makes it kind of hard to sleep!"
"I may have the fate of my best friend resting on my shoulders! How easy do you think it is for me to sleep?"
"That child is fine! You are the one I'm worried about."
"I don't want you to be worried about me. There's nothing wrong with me!"
"Well, you can't always get what you want now can you." He steps back, rests all of his weight on one foot and crosses his arms. This argument is going downhill fast. When he stands like that it's meant to indicate to whomever is arguing with him that he is not going to waver from his position and they may as well just give up.
"Oh, that line again. You should really come up with some new material. You're too predictable."
"Delilah." He sighs, exasperated. "Look, I know you're worried but will you just leave it to the people who know what they're doing and aren't just going to screw things up worse."
"You mean you? How can you say that? Even now all this time later how can you possibly say that you won't screw it up after what-" I stopped short, horrified at myself. The final words of that sentence presented themselves to me easily, and that just made the shock all that much worse. 'after what happened on Doranda,' I was going to say. To scream, really. I had to get out of here. Get away from him. He could never know that I knew about that. It would have upset him so much just to know that I know about what he considered his darkest hour. Yet, here I was, ready to shove it in his face just to win an argument? "Look," I mumble all the fight having left me completely. "Just…just leave me alone. You don't know anything. I have to go to class now."
I turn around and run away from him as fast as I can. I ignore his angry cries for me to come back, that we weren't done. I'm surprisingly anguished by what just happened. To think that I can lose control so completely that I become willing to hurt the only person in this city who really seems to get me. The man who loves me unconditionally, who does anything and everything he can to protect me. The thought hurts. I shudder; a stinging at the corner of my eye suggests that I may be close to crying.
Two hallways later, Rayne, who had moved farther away the louder my father and I had gotten, grabs my arm as gently as she can to keep me from running past her. She's glaring at me.
"Del, I wasn't listening but it was hard not to overhear. I have to know." There is something so demanding in her voice that I realize that attempting to walk away at this point is not a good idea. "Your lack of sleep, the frustration, everything…does it really have to do with school and the storm as much as you keep telling me, or is it something else?"
"Rayne, I don't know what-"
"I want the truth." She snaps, looking so scarily intense that for the second time today (and please note that it is extremely bothersome to me that it's happened twice in one day) I give in and tell her.
"In all complete and total I'm-not-holding-anything-back honesty, it's mostly Ashlei." I admit dejectedly, the indifferent act I've been working on maintaining falls away completely. "I mean, I know she can take care of herself and all, more so than quite a lot of the younger population. Present company excluded, of course."
"It's debatable. Continue."
"It's just…you've seen how she's changed. She's gotten so quiet and nothing seems to excite her anymore. She's practically sunk into some kind of weird depression. You know what depression does to people? It makes them want to kill themselves!" Rayne stares at me in amazement for a few seconds. Then she breaks into the loudest laughter I have ever heard from her. "Wh-at?" I demand in a tone that clearly questions her sanity.
"You-you actually-" she is appears to find it hard to speak through her laughter. She is laughing so hard that she is doubled over in seconds, one hand on the wall. I am quickly losing what little patience and amusement I had felt in the matter.
"Rayne, breathe." I bark. She only laughs harder, her eyes beginning to water. She starts to inhale sharply and clutch her sides. "Breathe, Rayne, breathe" I repeat, slight concern edging into my voice.
"An excellent suggestion, I think." A voice from behind us drawls, causing me to start in surprise and Rayne to choke on air, start coughing and fall to the ground. The man who had spoken walks over and pulls her to her feet. "Sorry, girls. I didn't mean to startle you." He apologizes, running a hand through his hair and making the normally messy half-silver hair even more so. The wrist of said hand bears a black wristband and the hand comes to rest on the back of his neck
General John Sheppard, the Military CO of the city, husband to its leader, leader to its flagship team, best friend to my father and father to my best friend, smiles in a way that is apologetic and yet not. A smile I only ever see him and Ashlei manage.
"It's alright, General." Rayne assures him as she catches her breath again.
"Now, what was so funny?"
"Del seems to think that Ashlei's suddenly going to become suicidal." She answers before I can even signal her to keep quiet. I sigh.
"It's a distinct possibility." I mutter, refusing to meet either of their eyes.
"Unfortunately," The General begins, and I look up at the tone. "Del's right." He has a very worried and concerned look on his face. The amused smile on Rayne's face disappears completely.
"What?" She breathes.
"Look, don't tell anyone else. I really shouldn't be telling either of you but I have a feeling you'd find out soon anyway. Carson has only just informed me that Ashlei has slipped into a low level of depression. She's mentally folding in on herself, slowly shutting everyone and everything else out."
Horrified, I share a look with Rayne. For a moment I see true worry and terror in her eyes before she hides it.
"Does he know why?" I manage to ask. I don't know how. I'm so overwhelmed now that breathing has become a conscious effort. My emotions are smothering me, drowning me in their sheer magnitude and strength. The General shakes his head in response.
"Not really. All he can come up with is she's dealing with an information overload that is causing stress to affect her physically as well as emotionally causing the trauma to manifest itself as depression…or something like that." He stops as a faint dinging indicates that Rayne and I are late to class. He snorts softly. "And now I'm sorry again. Come on, I'll walk you to class and smooth things over with the teacher. Where are you headed?"
"Physics." I realize that I've started to chew on my bottom lip, a habit which I thought I had broken. Trust Ashlei to be the one to restart it. The General's face gains a trace of its usual child-like glee at my response, but even I can tell it's forced. Following his example, I force myself to appear calm. A desire to somehow anchor these other two people who share my fear is overtaking me. Inwardly, I will worry, but outwardly I have to at least appear to be collected.
"Oh, good. I need a word with Scotes anyway. His assistant has been requisitioning stuff without authorization and you dad's about to pitch a fit over it."
"You mean he hasn't done it yet?" I remark, shooting for dryness. It comes out more as petulant. Sheppard smirks anyway.
"Anyway," Rayne adds, and she also seems to be forcing a happier mood. "Professor Scotes is taking the week off."
"He is?"
"Yes," I respond, honestly amused and attempting calmness. I wince as I accidently bite too hard on my lip. "I'm surprised you haven't heard about it yet because Dad's the one filling in."
"Yes, that is surprising." He muses. "But the truth of the matter is I've been so busy with Ashlei and getting ready to retire and Rodney's been so busy trying to figure out how we're going to survive this storm and the general city maintenance that we haven't really had time to talk." His face lights up as his smirk widens, and his eyes finally spark with a hint of the mischief that normally fills them. How does that saying go? You have to grow older but you don't have to grow up? Applies perfectly to the General. "All the more reason for me to come with you, right? Since we haven't talked in so long and all. And of course because he'll be upset because you're late. Hate to have him tear into you because of me. Especially since word is that you and he have already gone at it today."
"Ah, the speed at which news travels in this city." I say in mock admiration.
"It's more like gossip, really. True gossip, but gossip nonetheless. Travels twice as fast as the news." He quips back.
"He makes a good point" Rayne adds.
We had started walking when the General had realized my father was teaching. Normally, I'd be against letting him and my dad in the same room when the general had that trademark 'Sheppard Mischief' look on his face, but it would probably be good for both of them. Not to mention that it would give Rayne and I time to discuss what we were going to do about Ashlei. It would also give us time to let Britney Lorne and Ayera Zelenka get the two of us caught up on all the latest word in the rumor mill.
"Listen, girls." The General stops just outside the door to the physics room and, momentarily, loses the mischievous look. "I told you about Ashlei's condition because I think you can help her."
"Just tell us what to do and we'll do it." Rayne replies instantly. I 'mhmm' in agreement.
"I wish I knew what to tell you. Thing is, I haven't a clue. But you two are her best friends and if anyone can snap her out of this, I'm sure it will be you. I doubt event the boys have as much of a chance as you two. They baby her too much, not that I can talk really. The two of you have no problem making as much noise as is required. Consider it a mission from me. A secret mission. One that no one else can know about it. Elizabeth would kill me." I raise my hand and then grin when he reacts by raising an eyebrow.
"Request permission to physically beat sense into her, or let Rayne do so, should it become necessary." For a second he stares at me and then his eyes spark again as he responds to my attempt at lightening the mood. He nods.
"Permission to use force granted. Now let's get you to class." The door beside us swooshes open and we step inside.
End Chapter 2
A/N: Woohoo. We're just clipping right along aren't we? Well…I am. I have no way of knowing how the posting is coming at this point but I give you my word that I'm doing the best I can.
OH. Something I forgot to do earlier and for that I dearly apologize. A special thanks to lemons and wraith oh my as the only person not closely involved in the writing and editing process to actually tell me whether they'd rather have a long post or chapters. For that, the next chapter, whenever it comes up, is entirely dedicated to you.
Read and Review people I'm offering brownies for reviews this time. Oh, and flames will be used to make s'mores so…go right ahead. As always constructive criticism is more than welcome. Tell me what you liked, tell me what you hated, tell me what made you laugh, it makes my day.