Nggggh Neil/Todd angst. That is all.

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There was no question in Neil's mind that Todd Anderson was the first person he wanted to see in Vermont, even though, as the plane landed and he hitched a ride to Welton, he felt almost physically sick with nervousness. In some way he supposed that all his own future happiness depended on Todd; on Todd being healthy and well and not suffering too much after the death of his best friend ten years ago.

Neil still remembers Todd's face in their cold dorm room that morning when Charlie told him that Neil was dead. Neil wanted to scream – he did scream – that he wasn't dead, he's alive, he's right here, right here, right in front of you – but the living don't see the dead, let alone hear their cries, and in the end Neil could do nothing about it except look at Todd; feel his pain and be unable to change it; which, as far as Neil was concerned, was a fate worse than death.

Neil tries not to think about that now, as he stands outside the front of Todd's small house in the suburbs – the same house Todd moved in to when he first left school – and then there he is, walking along the pavement. Neil can't help it: his mind shakes as he takes stock of the man.

For he is a man now, Neil realises, with his glasses and soft beard and battered briefcase, ink smudges on his hand and blackboard chalk on his sleeve. As he fishes in his pocket for keys, Neil stands so close he can hear him breathing and he would give anything in the world to be able to touch his face, to rest his head on his shoulder, to at least, at least, let him know he's there. But he can't and he can't and he can't.

All Neil can do is follow Todd into the house like an uninvited guest and sit across from him in the living room, stare at him staring out the window while he rests his feet comfortable on the low table.

This could have been their house, Neil thinks; their coffee stains on the table, their comfortable silence, their old copies of Shakespeare and new copies of Arthur Miller on the shelves. As Todd continues to stare out the window, Neil gets on his knees to read the spines of the books on the shelf; longingly traces the titles of the poets and dramatists \ with his finger. He likes that Todd has taken an interest in drama.

And then he sees her. Staring back at him in the photo on the shelf, wearing a wedding dress, her arms wrapped around Todd.

Todd's wife.

As if on cue, a woman enters the room and crosses the floor to kiss Todd.

"Baby, I'm so glad you're home."

Neil peers out from behind the couch, trying not to be seen; forgetting entirely that he is invisible and that he could actually smack her in the face if he wanted to and she would be none the wiser.

She is young – a couple of years younger than Todd, he would guess – and very pretty: tall, thin, with brown hair tied up in a perfect bun on top of her head, and delectably high cheekbones. Neil isn't sure he likes that. No – he knows he doesn't like that. He's jealous and to hell with it. If Todd felt that he was healed enough to get a wife, a nice normal dull looking wife, Neil could handle that; but apparently Todd has moved on enough in the past ten years to attract a stunner.

It can't get any worse.

It does.

The Wife flops down into the chair opposite Todd, the chair Neil was just sitting in, and props her feet up on the table. She sighs as she pulls a sheaf of paper from her bag, and frowns at it.

"Will you run through this with me tonight?" she asks. "I'm really nervous about the part."

Todd's wife is an actor.

"Oh – oh, sure," says Todd, quietly. He smiles, and gets up to kiss The Wife on the cheek. Then he excuses himself and goes to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Neil wants to get angry. Back when he was alive, he would have shouted and kicked doors and broken things. Now – now, he just falls to the floor, defeated. Todd has moved on. Todd can live without him.

Neil ends up staying at the Anderson's house for a week. He tells himself he's hanging around to make sure that Todd is happy – happy with life and happy with his wife – but when Todd is happy, or at least seems to be, Neil wishes it could be any other way. So he leaves.