Chapter Two

Over the next two days, Jaime remained very quiet and introspective, almost apparition-like, going for long walks alone or sitting for hours at a time in the crook of a tree, thinking. Anyone else would've been growing alarmed by her demeanor, but Steve could tell she was merely sorting everything out in her mind, still adjusting to the major detour she'd chosen to take in her life and figuring out what it all meant in terms of her future. He didn't attempt to pry or assert his presence; he knew Jaime would seek him out, needing to talk, but only when she was fully ready to do so.

Early on the morning of the third day since Jaime had arrived, Steve watched from his bedroom window as she seated herself on a fence post and nuzzled with the horse that used to be hers. She is so beautiful, he thought to himself, in awe of the grace of her slightest movement and the way her hair gleamed in the light of the newly-risen sun. He was happy to see Jaime was finally opening up enough to interact with the animals, to seek the comfort of a warm, living being, and he sensed it wouldn't be long before she'd need the empathetic ear he'd made certain she knew he'd always have available to her.

Steve was willing to do anything that might start to ease the pain in Jaime's eyes and put the lightness back into her step. He longed with his whole heart to see her smile again, to hear her laugh...to be able to help. As he watched her mount the horse and take off in the direction of the river, Jaime's slightly quivering shoulders told Steve she was crying, and his empathetic soul cried with her and for her, until long after she'd ridden out of sight.

- - - - - -

Jaime reined the horse to a stop at the river's edge, dismounted and sat down next to the water, her knees drawn up to her chest, already lost in thought, remembering...

Chris was smiling lovingly at Jaime as she opened her eyes and rolled over in bed. "Good morning," he said as he kissed her softly. Jaime's heart sank; today was the day, and although she knew it wouldn't be fair to Chris for her to continue on the same as always, she would've rather had every one of her teeth pulled without anesthetic than do what she'd decided had to be done. Some people might've chosen an easier way out – a note, perhaps – but they'd shared too much, been too close for too long; Chris deserved the dignity of a face-to-face explanation. Jaime only wished she had a good one.

She'd been straightening up the living room the previous day, and as she was putting things away, she'd stumbled upon a small box, hidden in the back of the bottom drawer of Chris's desk. Instead of being filled with joy and excitement, Jaime's heart shattered when she saw the ring. She'd been gradually coming to the realization that she didn't feel quite the way she'd thought she should with Chris, and now she knew without any doubt remaining that she had to act, before things became a whole lot more complicated.

In her mind, she could clearly picture another time, in her past, with another man and another diamond ring. Her heart – no, her entire being – had been bursting with unimaginable happiness and love. Why was it that, no matter how badly she wanted to or how hard she tried, she couldn't feel that same glow now? Chris was kind, gentle and so very good to her. How could she dare to even think about hurting him this way?

The horse gently nuzzled Jaime's hair, sensing her pain, and Jaime thanked him with a few soft strokes before turning back toward the water.

- - - - - -

Steve poured himself another cup of coffee from the pot Jaime had left for him. He thought about packing a picnic lunch and heading out to find her, but he didn't want her to feel pressured to talk or to be with him, even as a friend, before she was ready. When the phone rang, Steve wondered who'd be calling him this early, before most people would even be out of bed.

"Hello?"

"Steve? It's Chris – Chris Williams."

Oh, God. Steve knew Jaime was firm about Chris not finding out where she was, saying that a clean break had to be exactly that, and a total, complete separation would be far less painful for everyone involved. "Good morning, Chris. What can I do for you?" He was careful to keep his voice friendly but neutral.

"I'm...looking for Jaime. She wouldn't happen to be there, by chance, would she?" He asked in a defeated voice that sounded as though he hadn't slept in days, possibly since Jaime had left him.

"No – I haven't seen her," in the last hour, Steve added in his head, to keep it from being a total lie.

"She hasn't called you in the last few days, has she?" Chris inquired. "It's...really urgent that I speak with her."

"I'm sorry, Chris. I don't know what to tell you."

"Well, if you do hear from her, or if she stops by, could you please ask her to call me, as soon as possible? It's very important – to both of us."

"I certainly will," Steve promised. When the conversation was over, he was struck by a renewed urge to find Jaime, to tell her, but Chris hadn't sounded angry or dangerous in any way – only very, very sad – and the last thing Steve could bring himself to do was cause Jaime any more pain.

- - - - - -

"Why, Jaime?" Chris had pleaded. "What did I do -?"

"It's nothing you did," Jaime told him gently. "I'm so sorry; I hate doing this..."

"Then don't! Please, Baby, we can fix this. Please don't go."

Jaime had been overwhelmed with emotions: grief, regret and fear of the unknown, but her resolve never wavered. "I'm sorry, Chris. I don't know how to explain it, but...something's missing, and it's something you deserve to have -"

"I already have everything I need, if I have you – don't you see that? I love you, Jaime. I need you! Don't do this to us -!"

Chris had stopped talking when he realized that he was suddenly, irrevocably alone.

- - - - - -

Jaime stood up and, tears falling in torrents down her face, she walked into the cool, crisp water in an attempt to clear her head. Yes, she'd been happy with Chris, but they'd worked at it, keeping their relationship front-and-center in their lives through constant – but not totally unpleasant – effort. Shouldn't love just be? Jaime thought to herself and she dove beneath the rippled surface of the river. If you have to try that hard, it just isn't love. She and Steve had always been so comfortable, so...easy together, when they'd been in love. Wasn't that how love was supposed to feel?

- - - - - -