There are times when I worry that I've already lost myself.

That is, that my self is so inseparable from being with you that if we were to separate,

I would no longer be.

I save this thought for when I feel the darkest discontent.

I never meant to depend so much on someone else.

- David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

Part II - One Late Spring Morning

Rolling over in bed, Akihiko did not attempt to open his eyes. The sun's pale, orange glow would only serve to remind him of her; and how he couldn't bring himself to admit to her that he may have completely messed up. Groaning, he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair before squinting at the unfamiliar environment. The pale cream walls were peeling, and boxes amongst his personal belongings lined it. Pieces of a desk waiting to be assembled lay neglected beside the door, alongside his boxes labeled 'Boxing' in Minako's girlish handwriting. Akihiko placed his head in his hands, a headache already beginning to form. He had not touched any of his things since the night he moved in. Surviving off of Wakatsu and Hagakure, he had managed not to starve without figuring out how the stove worked. That would be his job when he returned. Rummaging through his gym bag, he pulled out a white shirt and a pair of red shorts. Akihiko pulled on his running shoes and his leather gloves at the door, and began jogging towards the Tatsumi Memorial Hospital, picking up speed with every step.

The receptionist grinned at Akihiko as he came sprinting in, out of breath. "You shouldn't push yourself so hard in the morning, Sanada-san," she called out. "Aragaki-san will end up scolding you again." Akihiko waved his hand in dismissal, still trying to catch his breath. "Someone else is currently visiting Aragaki-san. You might want to wait a bit," the receptionist added. Seeing the confused look his face, she shrugged. His heart beating from both anticipation and weariness, he looked up at the ceiling like it would tell him just who exactly was with his best friend. Opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, Akihiko skipped every second step as he made his way to the third floor.

The 'No Visitors Allowed' card had long been discarded for the silver haired boy after being caught in Shinji's room several times in October. The staff caught on to the fact that Akihiko had no care for the rules, and nor did the girl who would sneak in more effectively and often than the former. Their frequent visits merely gave them a headache, but it was both heartwarming and breaking to see them speaking to a man who could not respond.

However, on March 3rd, a miracle occurred: Shinjiro Aragaki woke up. He was confused, mumbling to himself about a girl who laughed and cried, and a boy named Ken. Two days later, he shot up from his bed, and left hastily. The disappearance of Shinjiro had caused a a great deal of trouble for the hospital. However, he returned that evening, and whispers of speculation as to where he went floated around. Each theory died out as quickly as it had come to life under his cold stare, but the main idea lingered. Gekkoukan High School's graduation ceremony was on the same day, and the staff had eavesdropped enough to know that Akihiko Sanada was graduating, and Shinjiro was supposed to be beside him.

Akihiko put his hand on Shinji's door handle to open it, only to be lurched forward by someone pulling the door from the other side. Stumbling, a familiar, small, pale hand caught his chest. A sweet giggle reached Akihiko's ears as he looked up to see Minako, gazing down at him with a smirk. "M-M-Minako!" he said loudly, straightening himself. Flushed red, he scratched his head awkwardly. Averting his gaze, his eyes caught sight of a vase of bright sunflowers beside Shinjiro. "I uh.. I didn't think you'd be visiting..." Removing her hand from his chest, she just laughed.

"I heard yesterday from Mitsuru-senpai that Shinji was going to be discharged soon," she said, holding up her cellphone as though to prove her point. "I thought I'd pay him a visit before it gets hard to find him." Moving to the side so Akihiko could step in, she stood in the doorway. Kissing her lightly on the forehead as she passed, he could feel Shinjiro's watching them. "Training so early in the morning?" Minako raised an eyebrow at him, smiling faintly. "Don't get yourself sick, Aki," she scolded. "You've got me worried now, too."

"'Too'?" Akihiko turned to grin at his friend, who now had his head turned to the window. Minako gave Akihiko a shrug as if to say, 'What can you do?'. "Yeah, I don't know what it's like to box at university yet," Akihiko said, growing serious. "I definitely don't want to lose. I can't lose." Tiptoeing, Minako kissed him gently.

"Don't worry, Aki. You got this!" she said cheerily, punching her arm up into the arm. "You're the champ for a reason!" Embracing Akihiko, she snuggled up to him, and Akihiko responded by squeezing her tightly. "I've gotta go. I'm going to miss school if I don't leave now, and Hidetoshi would kill me. Bye Aki!" Kissing him one last time, she waved to Shinjiro and skipped off down the hall. Akihiko watched her go, his heart dropping slightly. He had just realized that she was wearing the familiar Gekkoukan uniform, and remembering that he would never be wearing his again or walking the halls with her was like a slap in the face.

"Tch... Did you come here hoping to run into her or are you actually here to see me?"

"H-Huh? O-Oh, right. Sorry, Shinji," Akihiko said sheepishly. Closing the door, he sat down by his friend's bed and frowned. "Neither you or Mitsuru told me about being discharged. Why am I the last to know when you're gonna be living with me?" Shinjiro glared at Akihiko as though the answer was obvious. Akihiko glared back, for more reasons than being simply left out of the loop. "Has she always visited you?" Akihiko asked a little edgily, eying the sunflowers suspiciously.

"More than you, asshole," Shinjiro replied testily. "Maybe if you actually gave a shit I'd tell you. When was the last time you came to see me, anyways?" Seeing guilt cross Akihiko's face, Shinjiro smirked, satisfied. "Sunday. If your ass isn't here on Sunday, I'll kill you, Aki." When no reply came, Shinjiro dropped his fist on Akihiko's head.

"What was that for?!" Akihiko winced.

"You know her better than I do, idiot. She's only visiting because she thinks it's her fault. Tch..." Looking over Akihiko to the sunflowers, Shinjiro smiled crookedly. "'sides, it's nice to know someone gives a damn once in awhile. Different from Mitsuru always nagging the hell out of me."

Akihiko stared at Shinjiro until his smile was only there in traces. He had never known his friend to smile at things like flowers, or the thought of someone else. If anything, other people made him cranky with no exception to the rules. Except for this time.

Clarity hit Akihiko, and he stood up suddenly, his chair clattering to the floor. Trying to calm himself down, he bit his lip before speaking. "Do you like Minako, Shinji?" he spat. He clenched his fists, and Shinjiro could only stare at Akihiko blankly, hurt clearly blanketing his face. The two glared at each other, a silent argument ensuing.

"Are you stupid or something?" Shinjiro finally said incredulously. "I don't need to explain anything to you." Still glaring at each other, Shinjiro heaved a sigh. "Does it matter? She loves you after all," he added bitterly. A new kind of silence fell between the two, each moment passing equaling a rise in temper for both of them, and a rise in guilt for Akihiko. "Tch, whatever. Just go. Sunday."

Akihiko hesitated for a moment, and turned away. "Yeah... Sunday..." he mumbled. He could feel Shinjiro's eyes piercing his back in both pain and anger, and Akihiko could no longer bring himself to look at him. He left the hospital without another word, the tension in the air heavier than the weight of the world.

The cool, Spring morning air was beginning to transition into a hot afternoon. Jogging back to his apartment with vigor to pick up his boxing equipment, the sun beat down on his back. Akihiko cursed himself for accusing - no, calling Shinji out on Minako. He knew Shinji loved her as much as he did, maybe even more; after all, she had saved his life without really meaning to and had given him a reason to live. On top of all that, Minako was the one who eventually persuaded Shinji to let go of the past. Blankly taking his gloves out of the box, he walked back outside slowly, the image of Minako's backside leaving burned into his eyes.

The problem with dating Minako was sharing her splendor and absolute selflessness. It would be far too selfish to even think of having her all to himself, and yet it was all Akihiko wanted. She had helped everyone in S.E.E.S overcome some sort of personal issue, and had a reputation for befriending the most peculiar and unlikely people. Her extreme kindness had changed the world - literally. Once you had a bit of Minako's sunshine, it was as though the rain never came so long as she was around. She was a drug of happiness, and Akihiko was far past addicted. The mere thought of the taste of her lips, the scent of her hair, and the way she would smile at the sight of him left Akihiko in a daydream that he never wanted to wake up from.

It was the familiar squeals of delight and the ringing of a bell that brought Akihiko back to his senses. Looking up, the familiar open, grand gates of Gekkoukan High School stood before him. A group of girls watched him and yelled his name, other students catching glimpses of the former boxing champion of Gekkoukan. Akihiko's mind reeled, wondering how he even got to the school when his destination was on the other side of the Moonlight Bridge.

"He-e-e-y, senpai! What're you doing here?"

Grinning stupidly at Akihiko was Junpei, who punched his arm playfully. Akihiko grinned back, and punched him what he hoped to be lightly. Junpei winced, and held his arm delicately. "Nothing, really. I didn't realize I was coming here... You cutting classes, Junpei?" Akihiko raised an eyebrow at him. Junpei held up his hands in defense, and took a dramatic step back.

"I resent that! Do you even know what time it is? It's lunch break, just started. Lookin' for Mina-tan?" A perverse smirk on Junpei's face drew a blush from Akihiko. Laughing, he smacked Akihiko on the back. "No worries, bro, I won't judge."

"Now that you mention it, yeah. Where is she?" Akihiko asked, ignoring his second comment. Looking back, Akihiko would always find Minako outside 2F as several people approached her before lunch break would end, himself included. The only time she was absent from her spot was when she agreed to have lunch with someone else beforehand. Before Junpei could reply, a loud couple made their way towards the gates, cutting off any sound that he could have made.

"She's such a tramp," the girl complained loudly as they passed Junpei and Akihiko. "She acts like she doesn't want to be more than friends but she's always leading them on. She had this coming. And going to Escapade? I'm surprised this didn't happen earlier to be honest."

"Yeah, even guys she doesn't even talk to are saying shit like going to Shirakawa Boulevard with her," her boyfriend agreed, shaking his head. "Arisato must be really easy to get laid with, huh?"

"Hey!"

"Oh crap, senpai do-!" Junpei yelled. At the same moment, a sickening sound of a smack rang loudly throughout the path to the school. The boy's girlfriend screamed as he stumbled to the ground, his face burning a bright red and swelling.

"Say that again. I dare you, asshole," Akihiko said quietly, glaring at the boy. Anger was rising within him, his face darkening.

"What the fuck?! Who the hell are you?! Fuckin' weirdo, you don't even go here!" he cried out angrily, tears of agony rolling down his swollen, bruised, cheek. His girlfriend was crying now as well, gingerly touching his injury, causing him to jump in pain.

"How the hell do you not know Akihiko Sanada?!" a girl yelled out from the crowd. "He's practically a legend here!". A number of people began to whisper, cries in defense of Akihiko resting on top. Certain names floated through, though it was Minako Arisato's name that was pounding in Akihiko's ears. The boy glared at Akihiko, glints of fear in his eyes.

"Tell me. Tell me what you meant by she had it coming," Akihiko raised his voice, picking the boy off the ground by his collar. "I swear to God I will beat the living hell out of you if you don't -"

"She disappeared!" the girl screamed. "Ekoda said that if anyone saw her to call the police! She was kidnapped or something, never made it to student council this morning! Hidetoshi warranted a search because someone reported a disturbance at the station and a Gekkoukan student that looked like her, okay?! Isn't that enough?! Let him go!"

Akihiko let go of his collar, the boy dropping like a rag doll. Scrambling, he grabbed his girlfriend's hand and ran back inside Gekkoukan, and Akihiko was left in a stunned and peculiar silence. The crowd slowly disappeared as the warning bell rang, and Akihiko simply stood there in shock. Just this morning he had seen Minako, had felt her embrace, heard her laughter and voice. He could feel his chest constricting in pain, and the tears that threatened to fall.

A/N: Not going to lie, I actually wrote out more for this chapter, but I kind of cut it out because then it would just take me a mighty long time to get this published. No worries, don't worry about Minako ^_^; I promise it's nothing bad (I was tempted, but I wanted to actually stick to my original story outline even though I feel like it totally would have been better for her to be gone), maybe a little dumb but not bad. It also feels really lengthy to write out, though judging by word count and how the last one looks, I don't think so. ... Yes I cut out Minako's side I wanted to save /something/ for next chapter, especially because this is the event that will cause the first rift :D.
I'd also rather not suffocate you, friends, with a super long one after a fairly short one. -deep breath-
THIS TOOK SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. Spring break is coming, and I believe you can expect another chapter (please stay :C). I love you friends stay tuned ^_^