Despite my brave words, I was truly scared. I can't believe I mentioned the leather thing. If he knew how many fantasies I have had over the years involving a grey-haired man and his leather jacket."Is it hot in here?"

Should I tell him sometimes I like to not be in control? I trust him in the field and with my life but to be honest the whole sex thing is freakin' me out.

I am not sure how to be with him, I mean I don't want to freak him out or anything but I know I have never felt this deeply for anyone. Hmm maybe I should wait to tell him that. I am scared that he will think well, not nice things about me. It is such a double standard, a man can do it and he is a stud a girl well not so much.

I am being silly I can go to alien planets, get tortured and I am worried what my best friend and soon to be lover will think about my experience or technique in bed?

As my brain is whirling and my thoughts colliding I realize my body is starting to hum and tingle and wow….

Jack is devouring my tongue with his lips and teeth suddenly he stops…

"Do you ever stop thinking?"

I smile and nod, but clearly he is not letting me get away with the silent treatment.

"Stop worrying, you can trust me I will never hurt you and no matter what you do I will never think less of you."

"Suddenly I realized why I never let Pete see Sam, I didn't trust him not to judge me. I also realized something else, Jack was right I did need to stop thinking so much especially when the talented man was making my brain turn to mush.

As my doubts left me I realized that I was very turned on and so was Jack. Hmm, the possibilities were endless. I was going to make love to the man I loved for so long.

Suddenly I could not wait to get started. I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and feasted my eyes on Jack. I had seen him plenty of times without his shirt but I always looked away and never took the time to really appreciate the view being more worried at the time Jack would find me staring at him, and how exactly would I have explained that?

This time I took my time and really looked. I saw the fine hair covering his broad tanned chest, for a man with a desk job he always looked like he spent a lot of time outdoors. Maybe I should ask him if he went to a tanning salon? He was looking at me like he could devour me at any moment and I enjoyed the feeling. I do like feeling sexy and it is nice to know I turn him on the same way he does me.

Do I tell him how he has affected me over the years or let it remain unspoken like so many other things?

Instead I look him right in the eyes as well and this time I let him see the desire and want in my eyes. He responds by kissing my neck and I kiss his eyebrow scar again?

"Do you like it he murmurs?"

"Oh yeah I always wanted to touch it, kiss it."

"You don't mind them, my scars?"

I pause, wondering if they really bother him, "no I say ,I like them and I have some too."

"You do?'

I show him my thigh where the super soldier almost killed me. "I remember how you got most of them I was there."

Our silent communication is present and I realize for the first time that I can be myself with him and I have nothing to fear, no reason to be shy, no reason to be afraid.

Reflected in his eyes is the love he has for me. I see the same love for him when I look in my eyes.

Gathering courage and realizing suddenly that I can be free with him more freely than I have ever been with anyone.

"Can I dance for you?"

His eyes widen and desire courses through them. He runs his finger through his hair and says, "Yasureyoubetcha"

I never bought into the whole striptease thing. I always believed it was silly and degrading to women but for some reason I wanted to turn Jack on in a way purely sensual and erotic without even touching him.

I put on some music and began to move slowly at first just getting the feel of the music watching Jack's reaction to my erotic movements. I slowly eased my tanktop up and over my shoulders leaving my sports bra. Wishing I had chosen a more sexy bra for the occasion I continued to move slowly thrusting my hips in a small circle letting my hand caress my arms and bare stomach my bellybutton ring glistened and Jack stammered,

"I never knew you had a bellybutton ring"

"Not exactly something I wore on duty"

"No, I guess not,l you really should have.

I giggle unable to stop but still trying for that sexy alluring look all the while.

I calm myself touching my arms and face getting into the show I am putting on for Jack.

I slowly undo my jeans leaving me in my silk underwear. I continue my seduction and notice that Jack is getting pretty excited.

I put a finger in my mouth wetting it slightly and circling my lips before sliding it down my chin and throat.

Heh, I am evil and I am so enjoying this never having had the courage to do this before never feeling this turned on just from kissing and hugging him.

Come on, he says you have tortured me enough.

I laugh and he proceeds to explore and worship my body