~Chapter 1~

I was sitting in my room with Tumblr and Facebook open when my mom came into my room and told me that I should get ready for bed since the first day of school is tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me mom, not like my brain would let me forget that I have to be with thousands of people at a kind of new school I never been to before (it's a new school but it's not since it's another part of our Academy so I'll practically know everyone in my grade level, which is kinda good, less anxiety) for six hours tomorrow. I already had a few anxiety attacks and nightmares just thinking about it the past few days. I have never been so scared/nervous in my 15 years of life. But like a good child, I listened to her and shut off my laptop then got ready to sleep.

The whole night I was up. Staring at the ceiling, or at least I hope since I couldn't see anything. I was so nervous for tomorrow that my brain wouldn't let me get the sleep I deserved. Tomorrow is going to be hell.

My alarm went off at 4:30 am. I know it's early considering my school starts at 7:00 am, but I had to get ready and mentally prepare myself for this day and the next nine months.

I went into my bathroom and splashed my face to try to wake myself up since I got no sleep last night. I looked in the mirror and saw the bags under my eyes. Instantly I grabbed some make-up and tried my best to cover them up.

I ate breakfast, somewhat, at 6:00 am as my mom was getting ready to drive me to school. I wasn't really hungry but I didn't want my mom to have the burden of worry about me and thinking less of me. Just the thought of it, I started to panic.

"You alright Mikan? You don't look so good." My mom said to me.

I faked a smile to her and popped some food in my mouth. "I'm fine mom, just a little nervous for today." A Little? I just wanted to run to my room and never come out.

She walked over and kissed my forehead. "Oh honey, you'll be fine. You have Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire with you the whole time. Remember they're in your class this year." I only nodded.

I guess she was right. I had nothing to worry about. At least that's what I kept telling myself.

By the time I was done with breakfast, it was almost time to leave. I ran to my room and one more time tried to prepare myself. That didn't work out too well. My mom called for me and I quickly grabbed my stuff and walked downstairs.

"Aww, you look so cute!" my mom squealed as she saw me.

Why did you say that, I know you're only saying that because I'm your daughter and you have to. Stop lying to me. I know I look horrible. Once I get to school, everyone's going to see me and make fun of me. "Thanks," I said with another fake smile.

We left the house and got into the car. My chest felt like it was going to cave in. It only got worse as the car started to move. By the time I arrived to school, I could barely breathe.

My mom stopped the car in front of the school doors. There were so many people here. Why? I inhaled deeply and slowly opened the car door while putting my backpack on.

As soon as I closed my door, my mom started to drive away, while I was still standing there frozen. No don't leave me please. I don't want to be by myself in a new place. Then I noticed the car behind me that wanted to drop their kid off and I quickly started to walk into the school. Great now those people probably hate me because I held up the line. Good job Mikan.

When I walked in, I didn't know where my class was. This place is so big, I'm going to get lost. And if I get lost, I'll be late for class, and it's the first day so everyone will think I'm stupid and think of me like that for the rest of the year. And that means I won't get along with people and my friends might leave me because they don't want to hang with a stupid person like me. I can't take this pressure. I can't breathe. Why do I have to be here?

But soon most of my worries went away when I saw Sumire walking in. Sumire was my best friend since last year. I tell her everything... Well most everything. I feel normal around her, along with my other three friends; I don't have any anxiety when she's around because I trust her with everything. Hell I even talk to to others when she's around... sometimes. Although lately it felt like she was ignoring me. We barely talked over break. Is she finally getting tired of me? Am I annoying her too much that she started to hate me like everyone else?

"Mikan!" she yelled and ran over to me. I was instantly knocked over by her hug and people started to stare at us. Everyone please look away. Stop staring... Please!

"Hi Sumire. How was your break?" I asked her as we walked to our class together.

"Oh it was same as ever. I mostly slept and helped my mom around the house since my brother was too lazy too. You know the usual. How about you?"

"It was fine." I answered. Just stayed on the internet all day, stuffed my face with food, and never went outside... the usual.

She instantly grew a knowing smile and got closer to me. "You know the guy you like is in our class this year." Sumire is the only person who knows who I like.

My mouth opened and I stopped breathing. "Ruka is in our class." Oh gosh I hope I don't do anything stupid this year. This year is my chance to actually get to know him. Aha, what am I saying? I suck at talking to people, especially guys. I guess it'll be another year of watching him from afar (pretty much stalking him).

"Yeah, can you believe it? It's fate I'm telling you. I bet by the end of this year, you two will be going out. Oh you two are such a cute couple." She went off about Ruka and I. She even told me a plan she had to get us to start talking and how to get him to ask me out.

I don't know why she's making such a big deal of this. I know it'll fail instantly because... well because I'm involved and I'll bail out on her at last second. But right now all I can do is act like it's a bulletproof plan and act excited about it.

"Mikan, Sumire!" We heard our names and saw Anna and Nonoko running towards us as we entered class while Hotaru was only walking.

"I'm so glad we're all in the same class this year! It's going to be a great year, I can just feel it," Anna said as she walked us to where they were sitting. Which happened to be in the front.

I hate sitting in the front because that means there's people behind me. And 99.9% of the time I can feel their eyes on me and I start to think that I'm doing something stupid again or I look horrible and they're talking about me. Also the teacher will most likely call on me more than often, and I'll give the wrong answer and everyone will think I'm stupid, and I hate talking in class, also I blush A LOT when the attention is on me. That's why I prefer to sit in the very back, no one's behind to judge me and I can blend into the background.

We all sat down; I was between Hotaru and Sumire at the very end of the row.

Soon the bell rang and our first teacher came in. "Hello everyone I'm Narumi-Sensei and I'll be you language/literature teacher for this school year." Wow he's really active... I wish I was like him and not care about anything/anyone. Oh how I envy normal people.

He told us to go around and introduce ourselves. I hate this because as soon as it was my turn, I stood up and turned around to face the class. I introduced myself as normally as I could with my shaky voice. And as soon as I saw Ruka, who was in the back, stare at me, I could feel my face heating up and I quickly sat back down. It took me a while to calm down and turn back to my normal skin color.

"So now that everyone is done, I can safely assume that Hyuuga Natsume is not here today?" Narumi-Sensei asked the class. They nodded. "What a bummer, being absent on the first day of school."

Natsume Hyuuga? I never heard that name before and I've been going to this Academy since Primary (Elementary) School. Is he a transfer student? How did he get in? It's hard to get in/apply for this school after the first year of Middle School. Huh. I wonder what he looks like... I hope he's cute.

My mom was waiting outside the school when the bell rang signaling us to go home. I hopped into the car as fast as I could.

"How was your first day?"

"It was alright." Please just drive away. I can't be here any longer.

"That's all?"

"Pretty much." There's no way I'm going to tell her my school life.

We arrived home, as soon as I walked through the door I heard scream and crying that sounded like a firecracker. Youichi must have gotten in trouble again. I sighed. He's just like his father.

"What happened now?" I asked my dad.

"The usual back talking. I can see Akira in him and it scares me. I don't want to deal with another Akira."

"Well like they say... The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."

My dad laughed. "You got that right."

"Stop being mean to Youichi. He's only three years old, he doesn't know any better."

"Three year olds shouldn't act like the devil but he does so it's only fair. By three years old they should know how to listen to their elders and not back talk or cuss at them." I said. I used to love kids before Youichi came along.

I hoped you all like it so far ... I'll be trying my best to upload a new chapter every week ~ Thank you for reading... I was so nervous to post this~~

I Don't Own Anything ~~

Date Published: 03/28/14