A little word about this chapter, since it is about Ned Flanders, it's going to be very religious. Thought I should just say this in case this chapter upsets anyone. So, you have been warned. Read and enjoy!

NED FLANDERS

The mask lands on the lawn of Ned Flanders. Rod and Todd run over to inspect it.

"What do you think it is?"

"It looks like a mask. Should we tell dad?"

"Tell me what boys?" Ned walks up behind Rod and Todd.

"We found this mask daddy."

"Mask? You boys shouldn't be playing with masks, you don't know whose faces they've been on!"

"Yes father."

"Now go on inside and play, boys." Rod and Todd run into the house. "This is probably Bart's mask-diddly-ask! I think I'll go return it to him." He starts to walk over to the Simpson's house, but trips and falls. His face falls into the mask, transforming him into a different Ned. He gets up. His face is green, his hair is slicked back, the rims of his glasses have gotten thicker, his muscles are now showing through his shirt and his voice has gotten deeper. "My good-diddly-oodness! What happened? I feel like a million Neds!" He looks around, looking for the mask. "Where'd that mask go? Oh, well. I'm sure it'll turn up eventually."

He walks into the house. Rod and Todd see him. "AHHH, green monster!!"

"Run!" The two boys run up the stairs.

"Green monster? We don't allow envy here!"

Later, Ned decides to take a walk. He walks past Moe, who apparently is having a bad day. "Damn those bums. Never paying their tabs. I'm gonna go broke if those idiots don't pay."

Ned runs in front of Moe. "You know, you should never damn anyone Moe."

"Get away from me Jesus freak!" Moe keeps on walking. He looks behind and Ned is gone. "Huh...must have ran off--WHA!" Ned is now in front of him. "How the hell did you do that?"

"The power of God has no limitations." Ned smiles.

"Yeah, well, I told you to beat it!" Ned stops him.

"Now look, Moe, I'm just trying to help-diddly-help you."

"And I'm just trying to tell you to diddily-diddly-GET LOST!" Moe walks away again.

"That's it, no more mister nice Ned." He pulls out a Bible and wraps a rope around it. He makes a lasso. "Lasso of faith!!" He throws it around Moe and drags Moe toward him.

Moe realizes something. "Whoa, I just had one of those revelations or somethin'. Though my life may be cruddy now, it'll get better if I go to God for help!" Ned lets Moe go. "Thanks Ned, you really helped me through my time of need."

Ned puts the Bible-Lasso in his pocket. "No...God did."

For the rest of the day, Ned goes around Springfield helping the citizens. That is, until he goes to Homer Simpson's house.

Ned rings the doorbell. Homer opens the door. "Great, it's YOU! What the hell do you want, Flanders?"

"No need for that potty mouth, mister." Ned replies.

"Look, just tell me what you want or your face will meet my door, if you know what I mean."

"All right, Homer. I think you need a little of this." Ned pulls out the Bible.

"Oh, really? Because I think you need this!!" Homer slams the door on Ned. "Hahaha, stupid Flanders." He turns around to see Flanders standing behind him, in his house. "D'oh! How did you get in?" Ned points to the Bible. Homer opens the door and throws Ned out, literally. He slams the door again. Homer turns around quickly to see if Ned is behind him. He's not. "Well, now that he's out of the way, time to watch some TV!" Homer goes into the living room and turns on the TV. He plops down on the couch. On the TV is Ned.

"Homer."

"AHHH!" Homer switches the channel to jeopardy.

"Here's the answer. 'Homer needs this to save himself.' " Alex Trebek says.

Ned is a contestant. He rings in. "What is the Bib-diddly-ible?"

"What the?" Homer turns the channel to a medical show.

Doctors and nurses are running down the hall with a body on a cart. "Doctor, what happened?"

"The patient got in a terrible car crash."

"What should we do?"

Ned was the body on the cart. He pops up from under the sheet. "Tell him the good word of the Lord!"

"Oh, come on!" Homer changes the channel again. This time its Krusty's show.

"Hey Hey kids!" Krusty laughs. "Do you know what time it is? It's time for Itchy and Scratchy!" The theme song plays. The title card for the show pops up. It says 'Passion of the Cat.' Scratchy is walking down the street. He sees a sign that says Have your photo taken for free!!! He goes into the building and sits down in front of the camera. Itchy is behind the camera, of course. He reveals himself and shoots Scratchy with a nail gun, pinning him to the wall. Itchy takes the picture of this. He looks at the picture and smiles. He leaves the building. Scratchy, still pinned to the wall looks around, wondering whats going to happen.

All of a sudden, a wrecking ball comes through the wall, right where Scratchy was. Now he's on the wrecking ball. Itchy is at the controls. The wrecking ball moves quickly toward the wall. Scratchy is screaming hysterically. Right before it hits the wall, the screen goes black.

Homer sits up. "Hey, what happened?"

Ned pops up. "Homer--"

Homer shuts off the TV. He sits back and sighs. He looks to his left to see Ned sitting there. "AHHHH!"

"Homer--"

"THAT'S IT!!!" Homer grabs Flanders by the back of his sweater. He throws him out again. "Now look you, nothing you say is going to make me change! So stop it!!"

"But what you don't realize is--" Ned attempts to talk to Homer, but he has reached his limit. Homer punches Ned, knocking the mask off of his face. It flies through the air. Ned falls to the ground. "And for the record, I'm NOT sorry!" Homer slams the door.

Ned gets up. "Hmm, oh well! Time to go home and pray-diddly-ay!" He walks over to his house and goes inside.

And there's chapter two!

Coming up in chapter 3: Bart Simpson, boy of a million pranks.

Reviews, as I always say, would be lovely!