A/N: Thank you everyone who has put me on their alerts. My inbox is happy lol. Reviews are love! I decided that I was going to do alternating perspectives between Fenris and Raina. I'm going to try to keep descriptions of my Hawke to a minimum but yes, I'm unoriginal. I used the default Hawke because she was just so hot. Lol Can you spot the movie quote? ;3
"Blank Shell"
I've been spending all my...time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
-"Fallin' For You" Colbie Caillat
He had known she came into the pub before he had seen her. The whispers of her arrival had reached him within seconds, not that he was surprised. Anywhere Isabela went she was bound to attract attention, whether now was for the wrong or right reason had remained to be seen. Fenris downed the rest of his wine and turned to find her. Part of him wanted to find black hair and blue eyes by the pirates' side. Then there was that other part, the one filled with shame, regret, and loathing that didn't want to see her. That part was relieved to see the pirate was alone. Her hips swayed as she sauntered in. He watched her paused and cross her arms in front of her chest as she checked out the room. Her eyes locked with his and a recognizable smirk formed across her lips. Yes. She was up to something. After all the years he had known her, he would have been a fool to think otherwise. He ordered another drink and once the mug was in his hand he raised it towards her as a toast before downing the drink.
"Nice to see some things don't change," she purred into his ear before she sat down. Isabela ordered herself a drink and leaned against the bar top. "Oh Fenris, my little treasure, I've finally found you." He let out a small laugh.
"What?" He asked, "Run out of relics to steal?" She turned her head to look at him and winked. She had tried to bed him after…that mage had wormed his way into the Hawke estate. He had turned her away, if the red cloth wrapped around his wrist had been any indication, he wasn't really over everything just yet. They say that time heals all wounds. Fenris wanted to call whoever said that a filthy liar. The lyrium burned into his were proof enough that time didn't heal wounds, externally or internally.
"Not exactly," she said in a light tone, "What I've been looking for is for a friend." Fenris felt his body stiffen. Was she really going to go there? He cradled his mug in his hands and debated on another. "She's here you know." No. He didn't know. He had hoped but he had also thought that hope was useless. "On my boat, actually. She refused to come off." She touched his shoulder. "Don't worry though. She doesn't know you're here. She doesn't really know you've been what I was looking for." What was she getting at?
"Doesn't she have that other mage to deal with?" He found himself asking. A snarl has ended his question and had set the tone of the rest of the conversation. He looked at Isabela and wanted to laugh. Never had he seen her so shocked before. "What?" He asked.
"You mean you don't know?"
"Know what?"
Isabela bit her lower lip. "This might get a little more complicated than I thought but shit, it's not my life and if you two are still the same people. I know you've been brooding just as much as she has." Isabela sucked in a deep breath. "If you would have stuck around, you would have known that Anders blew up the Chantry." Her voice had lowered. "And Raina killed him for it." Fenris felt himself nearly choke. He had thought… Isabela let out a laugh. "Fenris, sometimes I wonder about you."
"She loved him, why would she have killed him?" He questioned her. His eyes narrowed. He didn't want to believe her.
Isabela sighed. "Can you really let something like that go? It was bold. I know, but maybe a little too bold for my tastes. Her decision was her own." The pirate let out a long whistle. "I've been the one trying to keep her sane, you know." She made a 'tut tut' sound. "You surprise me, Fenris," she purred, "You mean to tell me you feel nothing for her after so long?"
"Why are you saying these things to me?"
"Because I'm tired of watching my best friend's soul deteriorate," she told him and actually smacked him in the back of his head. "She's broken, Fenris, and I believe you can bring her back." She rolled her eyes. "If anything, the sex would definitely do you both some good."
"She doesn't love me anymore," he told her. It all just felt a little wrong. Love had been something he had never believed in. He had never felt like he had deserved it and when he had been convinced that Raina would have been better off without him, he had realized that he had in fact, loved her. Was it too little too late? He abandoned her. Would she even want to see him?
"What is with you people and love?" Isabela groaned. "Oh go away." She waved him off. "Go now, before I shove my dagger into your side."
Fenris had found comfort that Isabela hadn't changed much. Maybe Raina hadn't either. His conscious and told him not to go to the Siren but he feet had seen it fit to betray him. He cursed under his breath and his shoulders slumped in defeat. Why did she have to do this to him? Would she turn him away? Was she still grieving over that… He sighed as he broke his thoughts. He still considered him as 'that mage' but he had to remember that the woman he was looking for now was also a mage. It had been his time in Tevinter and as a slave that had firmly planted the hatred for mages into him but it had also been her that made that hatred start to go away. It was a shame that he never told her. He had wanted to, plenty of times, but after learning Anders had moved into the Hawke Estate, it was better that he had said nothing. It was better that he had just left. He had tried to stay around but the pain, not from his marks, had been too much.
He would be the first to admit that he had thought about her every day since he walked away from her. It wasn't hard to find the boat. He had remembered it when Raina had helped Isabela get it from that slaver. It wasn't exactly something he approved of, but he figured that's why she had left him behind.
He asked one of the Raiders to direct him to Rainas room. The man eyed him for a moment and Fenris felt his patience start to wear thin. "Where?" He asked again and the other man just pointed. Eventually he found her room. He hesitated in front of the door, and cursed himself in the process. He was a coward and he knew it. Silence came from the room. Was she even there? The door was slightly ajar so he pushed it open, quietly. There she was, a vision of beauty just lying on her bed. Her cheeks were hollower that he remembered and he knew he didn't like the dark circles that were starting to form under her eyes. Her eyes were closed and from what he could tell by her breathing, she was dreaming. He moved closer to her despite what his mind was telling him. For once, his heart overruled other functions. There had been so many times when he had wanted to do this same exact thing but sooner, if only he could have done it sooner… He could've spared her so much pain. He wanted her to hate him but now the question that remained was if he could handle if she actually did.
"Fenris…" He heard her mutter. His body stiffened. Did she know he was here? She readjusted herself in the bed and he saw a flash of skin. His breath caught in his throat. She was still asleep. He made up his mind that he just wanted to look at her and then he would go. She wouldn't have to know that he had been there and then… "Fenris…" Maker, did she have to say his name like that? He took some pleasure in the fact that she was dreaming about him. A small smile spread across his features. Damn her. Her eyes fluttered open. Shit. He was caught. She gave him a small smile. That…was unexpected. "This is a dream." She sounded so sure. So helpless. Fenris wanted to reach out and touch her. He took a step forward and knelt down in front of her bed. He braved the thought that she might enjoy the fact that he was there. He knew that it was wishful thinking but it never hurt.
"Then it is a good dream," he replied. A small laugh escaped her. Progress was progress, wasn't it? She reached up and touched the side of his face. Their eyes locked and she spoke next.
"I've missed you."
His self restraint flew out the window and he kissed her. Raina kissed him back. Her fingers found his hair, giving it a small familiar tug that she knew drove him crazy. He pulled her closer to him and that was when he felt her pause. Before he had time to react she used mind blast to send him reeling back. He cursed at her in Tevinter.
"You bastard!" She yelled at him.
"You weren't complaining," he shot back. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she got up from the bed. Well, maybe she wasn't exactly aware she was in nothing but her smalls. "Raina I just came to talk."
"How did you know…" He voice trailed off. "Maker I am going to kill Isabela," she groaned. She went to get dressed. Obviously time with the pirate made her less modest than he remembered. "I can't believe you kissed me. What were you thinking?" She sounded upset.
"The way you were saying my name…" He started. Raina scoffed at him and he watched her roll her eyes.
"I was not saying your name," she corrected him. Oh, if she only knew. He wanted to correct her but he didn't want to risk a fireball to the face. Maker forbid. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.
"Would you like me to reenact it for you?" He asked. Yes. He went there. If she wanted to have an argument he was going to give it to her.
"No," he heard her whisper. Fenris got up to his feet. "After everything, you really had the audacity to think that would be ok?" She asked him. He went up behind her and she swirled around and a fist connected with his jaw.
"Shit, what was that for?" He asked. He hand went up to his jaw and rubbed the sore spot for a moment.
"You deserve more!" She yelled at him. Raina finished dressing and headed for the door. Was she walking away from him? His anger rose slightly but he tried to keep it satiated.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you and to shoot lightening at fools," she quickly responded. Who was running away now? Fenris chased after her and followed her to the deck of the boat only to discover the Siren was no long docked and Cumberland was slowly fading in the background. "Isabela what do you think you're doing?" She asked the pirate who was climbing up the mast to prepare the sail.
"Doing you two a favor!" She called down to them. Even down there, Fenris could see the wicked smirk on her face. "You'll thank me later! Welcome aboard Fenris!" He looked back at Raina and saw her glaring at him.
"Don't think that is ever going to happen again," she hissed at him.
"Wouldn't dream of it."