Zombieland: Total Insanity.
Chapter 2: Water Fight of Hell!
"This water park is off the chain!" Wichita yelled. Columbus stared blankly at the huge, dry water slide, and scanned the rest of the rides. "There's not a hoping hell I'm going in there." Tallahassee squinted at the sunset and looked at Roanoke. "You wanna go in there?" Roanoke raised her eyebrows. "Yeah! It looks awesome!!!" Little Rock looked up at Roanoke and smiled. "Prepare, to get wet." Roanoke chuckled and ruffled Little Rock's hair. Wichita looked at Roanoke who had a look on her face as if to say 'this is gonna be great'. She walked over to the gate of the water park and saw the lock on the chain. Columbus looked relieved. "Oh, too bad. It's locked. Let's go." Little Rock gave him death glare and Wichita went up to Roanoke and whispered something in her ear. As a response, Roanoke opened the door to the backseat of the Hummer and grabbed her sword. Columbus widened his eyes and bit his lips. Roanoke handed Wichita the sword and Wichita slammed it down on the chains that were holdin the gates in place. Little Rock smiled and ran into the water park. She shouted from behind her. "It's clear of any undead freaks!" Then the other four followed her in. Tallahassee walked over to the control room which controlled the water and the supplies. "Hmmm... What could I do with this?" He turned on all the water rides and Little Rock and Wichita both gave out bubbly laughs. "This. Is going to be fun." Wichita put her arm around her younger sister. "Race you to the Ice Blast!" She sprinted off in the direction of the water slide. Little Rock dropped her jaw. "Hey! No fair! You got a head start!" She ran after her older sister. Columbus then shrugged and followed them.
When Tallahassee walked out of the control room, Roanoke was leaning against the wall beside it. He decided to go freak her out. He tip-toed over and squeezed her pressure points. Roanoke screamed. "JESUS! What-" She turned around and noticed Tallahassee. "Oh. Hi." Tallahassee nodded. "Fun mall, huh?" Roanoke widened her eyes. 'damn it!' she thought. 'He knows! Oh, great.' "Oh yeah. It was awesome." Tallahassee jerked his eyebrows. He mumbled something so Roanoke wouldn't hear. "I can't believe I thought you were a hostess treat." Roanoke furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" Tallahassee opened his mouth to say something but said something else. "I said. I think I need to wash my feet." Roanoke wrinkled her nose. "Ew. Okay then. Let's go find the other guys." She ran off in the direction that Columbus was headed.
Roanoke got to the Ice Blast and all she could see at the top of the ride, was Little Rock trying to push Columbus down the hole. "NO! NO! NO! LITTLE ROCK! I HAVE A PHOBIA OF--" Before he could finish, Wichita slammed into Columbus and it sent him flying down the hole. You could hear what sounded like a little girl scream, but, that was just Columbus. Roanoke shouted up to them. "Hey guys! Room for one more?!" Wichita and Little Rock were waving for her to come up. She ran up the stairs and saw the huge plunge hole that you fell through. "Whoa! Ohhhh! Can I go first?!" Little Rock nodded and smiled. Roanoke jumped through the hole. You could hear her yell. "Kawah Bungaa!!" Little Rock and Wichita burst out laughing. When Roanoke was near the bottom of the tunnel, she could see the light at the end disapear. "Uh-oh." She tried to stop herself but the water made the slide too slippery. When she got to the bottom, she was expecting a zombie to bite her leg off or something, but it was Tallahassee who grabbed her and started tickling her. When he stopped, they both looked over at a ride called 'The CorkScrew'. Roanoke jumped up and sprinted in her soaked clothes and sprinted towards 'The CorkScrew'. They raced eachother up the stairs and unfortunately, Tallahassee won, because he practically leaped up three steps each time. When they got to the top. They both looked through the black hole that you fell through. Tallahassee backed away. "Ladies first." Roanoke backed away even further. "Men before." Tallahassee then looked through the hole again and said "Why don't you go first? You are the man anyways." Roanoke gritted her teeth and when Tallahassee had his back turned, she took his feet out from underneath him and he flew through the air and slid through the hole.
"Holy crap!" Tallahassee yelled, flying down the slide, his hat flew off his head and Roanoke caught it in mid-air when she went down after him. At the end of the slide, Tallahassee stumbled and Roanoke landed on top of him. "Whoo! That was fun!" she shouted. "Would you get off of me?" complained Tallahassee. "Hmph, I'm taking your hat." she said flatly, getting up and jogging off to another ride. She turned around. "Come on, guys! I'm going to get changed, my clothes are soaked!" she yelled. Little Rock, Wichita and Columbus came down the slide and Wichita and Little Rock jogged off after Roanoke. "That bitch took my hat." said Tallahassee. "Well, she'll be in a bathing suit, you'd like that wouldn't you, Tallahassee?" smirked Columbus. "No, she's got nothin' on her." Tallahassee gritted his teeth.
"Got nothing on who?" came Roanoke's voice. She walked out of the dressing room. She wore a tight green bikini and her wet hair was tousled like it normally was. She wore Tallahassee's hat on her head. Tallahassee's jaw dropped, it seemed as if she was walking in slow motion. "Well whataya know? She does have somethin' on her." Tallahassee smirked. Roanoke frowned and kicked Florida between the legs. He fell to the ground. She bent over so her chest was right in his face. "What? You thought these were fake?" she inquired. Tallahassee grimaced and glared at her. Little Rock came running out of the dressing room in a one-piece and Wichita followed in her floral patterned two-piece. Columbus swallowed hard. "So." said Roanoke. "Time for some surfin'." she smiled before racing off to the section where the surfboards were by the wave pool. "Bitch, give me my hat!" yelled Tallahassee, chasing after her. The others laughed and followed behind.
Wichita went to a control box and set the wave setting to 'extreme'. "You guys ready?" Roanoke and Little Rock nodded and they swam out with their boards into the deeper waters. "Alright, first one off their boards loses!" shouted Wichita. "Go!" The two surfed and Roanoke wasn't giving up. "Who do you want to win?" asked Tallahassee to Columbus. He shrugged. "I don't care." he said. Tallahassee smirked. "I'm rootin' for pipsqueak." Florida had an idea. "Hey, cabbage patch!" Tallahassee yelled to Roanoke. She looked at him but concentrated on surfing. Tallahassee proceeded to take off his shirt slowly. "Hey baby!" he said. Roanoke's jaw dropped and she fell off her board faster than you could say 'twinkie'.
Little Rock widened her eyes and lost her balance on her board. She started wobbling around, then seeing Roanoke flat on her face at the bottom of the wave pool didn't help. "Oh God!" Little Rock flew backwards off her board and went deep under the water. Wichita widened her eyes and so did the two boys. "Tallahassee?" Columbus said wearily. "I think you just killed Roanoke and Little Rock." Tallahassee gritted his teeth. "No I didn't, give them time." About two minutes later, Little Rock came up from the bottom of the pool screaming. "Help! Somebody help!" At that, Tallahassee sprinted and jumped into the pool, following Little Rock down to a passed out Roanoke. Tallahassee was about to curse, but he remembered he was under water. Little Rock had a worried look in eyes. Even under water, you could tell she was crying. Tallahassee grabbed Roanoke and swam to the surface. Little Rock swam up first and started coughing like mad. Wichita jumped in and swam out to help her sister. "Hey! You okay?!" Little Rock shook her head and kept coughing. When the two sisters got to the platform again, Wichita sat Little Rock down and started to pat her back. Then, up came Tallahassee with Roanoke. He swam with her over his shoulder and lay her down on the platform. The first simplist thing he did was shout in her eyes to see if she would wake up. No movement. "Okay, I have to do the Kiss of Life. Great." He lay his lips on Roanoke's and started to get air into her lungs. Finally after about five minutes, she burst to life, coughing up water. Everyone let out a huge breath they didn't know they were holding in. Wichita smiled and Little Rock hugged her really tightly. Roanoke hugged Little Rock back and ran her fingers through her hair. When she realeased her, Columbus gave her a small hug too. Then when she turned to Tallahassee, he was sistting there quiet, he twitched his nose and Roanoke decided to speak first. "Thanks." Tallahassee nodded and then gave her his hat. Roanoke chuckled and put it on her head. Then Wichita spoke up. "So, guys. Who wants to have a water fight?" Everyone joined in together and all cheered. "Yeah!!" Wichita led them all over to a booth that had huge water guns in it. Little Rock ran in first. "I call dibbs on the red one!" Wichita grabbed the purple one and Columbus grabbed a blue one. Roanoke ran in and scanned for a grren one. "I got my one!" Which left Tallahassee with the black one. Wichita made the rules. "Okay, bases. Tallahassee, your base is from the fence on the right, to the Loop-De-Loop. Roanoke, you're over there on the left beside the Ice Blast. Columbus, you're on the south port beside the wave pool. Little Rock, you're on the north port up until the plunge pool. I'm over at the far side beside the water slide. That gives us all access to water." Everyone nodded and accepted their positions. "Okay, get into position!" Everyone ran to their ports and filled their water guns. "READY!!! GO!!!!" Tallahassee sprinted and got behind a wall to hide from Roanoke. He then ran over to her side when it was clear. He couldn't see her. Damn it. Roanoke was doing the same for Tallahassee but couldn't see him either. Columbus just ran and hid because he didn't want to get any wetter than he was now. Little Rock was smart and jumped into the plunge pool, so if anyone tried squirting her, she could just go under water. Wichita ran around corners and dove behind the water slide.
Roanoke ran over to the Ice Blast and saw Little Rock sitting on the edge of the plunge pool. "Gotcha'." She whispered to herself. She snuck over and hit Little Rock with water. She screamed and fell into the plunge pool. Roanoke smirked. "Whoops." She ran off before Little Rock could see who hit her. Little Rock saw her older sister hiding at the side of the water slide. She smiled and slowly climbed onto the side of the plunge pool. She pumped her water gun and aimed for her sister's back. But instead it hit her in the face. Wichita wiped the water off her face and looked over at her sister. "This is war sis!" Little Rock gave a cheeky grin and laughed, then jumped into the water again.
Tallahassee cheated and ran over to Columbus' base. He searched for him and found him sitting curled up in a ball in the corner. Tallahassee looked at him and started laughing, Columbus looked at him helplessly and Tallahassee aimed his water gun right for Columbus' face. He squirted it and his curly hair matted his face. "Thanks, Tallahassee." Tallahassee shouted behind him. "Pleasure doing business with-" When he looked in front of him again, he found Roanoke aiming her water gun right at him. "Make another move, you're gonna get wet and very cold." She had a smirk on her face and Tallahassee gently put his water gun on the ground. Roanoke pumped her gun, but Tallahassee then moved swiftly and picked his up again, which was already pumped and squirted it at Roanoke's bare stomach. "Okay! You asked for it!" Roanoked whistled and Wichita and Little Rock came from around the corner, their arms filled with water balloons. "I told you, make another move and you get wet and cold." Tallahassee curved his lips and nodded in defeat. But he quickly squirted Wichita and Little Rock, he tried to run but Roanoke cut him off. "Hit it girls!" Wichita and Little Rock started throwing water balloons at Tallahassee and he kept squirming. "Owh! That's cold! Eh Ah! Eh! Ah! STOP IT!" When the water balloons were finished, they used the last of their water in their water guns. "Okay! They're your secret weapons! I get it." The three girls smiled and chuckled then ran into a changing room to get dried off again.
In the changing room, Roanoke shook her green hair like a wet dog. The girls squealed as water was sprayed on them. "I can't believe you almost drowned." said Wichita, drying herself off. "I can, I just can't believe Tallahassee knew how to do CPR." Said Roanoke, her eyes wide. Little Rock laughed and ruffled her hair with a towel. "I'm going to go make Columbus go down the 'Water Dragon'." she laughed. "Don't kill him." said Wichita and Roanoke in unison. Little Rock laughed and ran out the room. "So." said Wichita. "Do you have to kiss Tallahassee every time we go somewhere?" she asked. "Shut up, it was CPR." Roanoke defended. "Get real, Ro, it's called the KISS of life!" Wichita argued. Roanoke rolled her eyes. "Whatever, come on, let's go see if Columbus hasn't had a panic attack." she chuckled.
The girls walked out of the room and Roanoke was ambushed by Columbus, Tallahassee and Little Rock with a power hose. Roanoke screamed and when they stopped, she looked at Little Rock bewildered. "Traitor! This is mutiny!" she shouted. Wichita's jaw dropped. "Sis, how could you?!" she yelled. "Zombies!" yelled Columbus. "Not now, Columbus, we were at the climax of the story!" complained Roanoke. "No, really, zombies!" he yelled. Everyone turned around to see a horde coming after them. "Run!" yelled Wichita. "Go, go, go, up the slide! That'll hold 'em back a while!" commanded Little Rock. They ran to the 'Corkscrew' and ran up the stairs. When the zombies were up the steps, everyone zoomed down the slide, Roanoke blushed at the closeness of Tallahassee on her back shirtless, but he couldn't see her face, thank God. They stumbled off the slide and they laughed at the zombies struggle down the slide. They then ran to the wave pool, which was still roaring with large waves. "To the deep end! We'll shake a few off, they can't swim!" yelled Wichita. As the water got deeper, it was harder to move and they had to begin swimming, Tallahassee had to carry Little Rock on his back, the water was so deep. Roanoke looked over her shoulder to find only a few left over zombs chasing after them. "Keep it up! C'mon, get to the Hummer!" she yelled.
They ran to the Hummer and hopped in the car. There wasn't really anything to worry about anymore since there were only a few zombies limping after them. Tallahassee let out a deep sigh and leaned his head back in the seat. "No more water parks." said Little Rock. "I had a surprisingly good time though." said Roanoke, being optimistic. Tallahassee scoffed. "Only because--"
"You shut up, besides the fact that I almost drowned." she said. Tallahassee looked at her curiously, water was still dripping off her pale face and she was still covered in only that small bikini. "You, uh, gonna take off that wet ol' bathing suit?" he asked with his trademark smirk. "Perv, and no, I wouldn't give you that pleasure."
"You're drippin' on my leather seat, you want to get on the roof or maybe stay here and dry off"
"Shut your face and get us out of here." said Wichita.
"Onward! To our next adventure!" shouted Little Rock.
"Please, no." whined Columbus.
"Shut up." everyone told each other.