Part 2: The Lone Wolf

So here I am. Blood trickles down my wrist and what do I do? I laugh. I laugh, looking up at the ceiling. You didn't see that coming, did you? I surpassed ya, you big old unfair bastard. People will think I was crazy; you'll think I was crazy. There's a possibility that I am. But you know, it's your fault. You made me who I am, so don't act all innocent and sweet; I won't let myself be deceived by your continuous lies, not again. You made my mother stupid enough to deliver a sick child. You made me have to live in fear all my life. You made me do all the things I did.

Now, I am aware I've had more fun than most people, but it comes with a price. The fun kind of fades away in the morning when you're alone and naked in your bed with a nasty headache and you look at your hands and beg them not to tremble. Not to seem ungrateful, but I've had my share of fun.

I was but a puppet on a string, your string, for twenty-six long years. It's time to turn things around. This time, I'll be the player. It's my turn. I don't give a damn whether I throw a six or a one, whether I go to heaven or hell or fucking Valhalla. I stopped caring an eternity ago. I don't know what exactly your plans for me were, but it's over, and when I get there, I'm gonna kick your ass good.

All I ever wanted was freedom and now I finally have it. Sure, it's just for a few minutes, but the incredible irony in all this is that I feel better than ever. Of course, I'm in pain and I can barely see and I can't feel my limbs by now, but I'm free! It's not fiction, it's not a delusion, it's real. It's a miracle.

Hey… are you mad at me? You should be, but if you're the all-encompassing goody two-shoes, you shouldn't. Then again I've pretty much done everything you hate. I guess that is a good enough reason.

I know there are billions of people in worse situations than I am who are still able to enjoy life. I'm just not one of those people. So what, are you going to kill me for that? Heh, no, you're not, because you can't! Okay, that was a lame joke. Maybe I really am crazy. But although I'm a fool, I'm a happy fool. You can't take that from me.

I should probably be pondering the fundamental laws of the universe during these last few moments but I see no reason for regretful melodrama. That's all I've had in life; entertainment. That's all I'm gonna have in death. Just a small talk with the imaginary can't hurt. Whoops, I did it again!

I have one important thing to say, though. I'm not exactly sure how to put this, but I want you to know that I… I'm glad you didn't take Spencer. It was the lesser evil. You seem to grant justice to everyone but me. I'm not going to hold a grudge; my life is a game and you know I like playing games. I also know when to accept defeat.

Well played, sir, well played. Be careful, however, because there will be another round soon. I'll see you on the other side.

House will probably say he had seen it coming and that I'd always been an idiot. I wish I could be there to see it.