TWA-HAS NOT A ONESHOT! Yay new chapter! Sorry that took so long, but since it's collab it'll take a bit longer to get it up each time. However, the Co-Author and I have a clear ending and timeline planned out, so this fic shall not go unfinished! Yay!
Enjoy!
I stared at my phone, unable to tear my eyes away. It lied unassumingly on the ground, the locked screen lit up. I did not, could not move.
"... Ow." I jerked as a voice, that voice, came through my phone again. "Why...did you throw me?"
All the moisture in my mouth dried up, preventing any sort of words to be formed. Not that I could find the right words anyway. So I just kind of sat there, my mouth flapping like a fish.
"Hello? Are you still there?"
No doubt about it, that was definitely Matt Smith's voice. Or...if my dream-wait, not dream-was anything to go by...the Doctor.
"I can't see you anywhere. One screen's dark, and the other's just… Is that your ceiling? That is a lot of glow-in-the-dark stars."
This...this had to be a dream, right? I had to still be asleep...right?
On a whim I bit my hand so hard that I cried out in pain.
"Was that you? Are you alright?"
Okay, not a dream. So then what… Oh no. Oh no, I wasn't insane was I? I mean, I've always been crazy, but funny-farm insane was something new to me. It didn't run in my family or anything, but I sure was unlucky enough.
"I DON'T WANNA BE INSANE!" My voice came back as I slammed my head into my pillow.
"Insane?" Oh gosh. "Well, I don't know about that, but then again I don't know you that well."
"You're not helping!" I yelled into my pillow, pointing vaguely in the direction of that persistent voice.
"Oh, well then, I suppose I should shed a little light on the subject, shouldn't I?" My phone continued to blare the voice of Matt Smith-the Doctor-my hallucination-WHATEVER! "Well, as I have already mentioned, my name is the Doctor-"
"Stop it!" I lifted my head to shout at the offending piece of technology. "Just stop it! It's not funny anymore! I said I don't want to be insane!"
"... Well whether or not you want to be has nothing to do with being insane."
I glared at my phone for a minute before sitting up and pivoting myself so that my feet dangled over the side of my bed. I stood and stalked over to my phone, which I'll admit I had thrown across the room, into the opposite wall to land on my hardwood floor. I ignored the "Whoa!" resulting from my quick grab and lifting of the phone to glare at it more directly.
"Oh, there you are." The voice said. "You...do not look happy."
After another pause, I answered with a question. "Okay, I'm not dreaming, so this has to be a hallucination, right?"
"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" my imaginary-Matt Smith/Doctor replied. "A strange voice coming from your phone isn't exactly typical, is it? But no, I must insist that this encounter, this one that we're having right now, is actually happening."
I pressed my palm into my face, gritting my teeth with frustration. "But…" Removing my hand and looking directly into the screen, I screamed, "YOU'RE NOT REAL!"
"... Um, actually I think I am." A random, and admittedly amusing, picture of the Doctor poking himself just to be sure entered my head. "And, more importantly," That distinct, familiar sound caught my attention. "My sonic screwdriver agrees."
"Prove it!"
"Oh. Um, alright then." the voice...he, complied. "Is there any history of any form of insanity in your family?"
"No."
"Are you an alcohol or drug addict?"
"No!"
"Alright alright don't get your knickers in a twist! Now then, have you ever experienced any sort of hallucination before? Not including this encounter, if you still insist on believing that I'm not real."
"Not that I know of."
"Any change in eating habits?"
"*sigh* No."
"Suicidal thoughts?"
"... No."
"Significant tiredness?"
"It's morning."
"True enough. Reduced ability to concentrate?"
"I never could concentrate well. It's nothing new."
"Okay then, you don't seem to be exhibiting any of the signs of insanity, other than paranoia, extreme mood changes, and-" I glared at the screen again. "Aggression. So I think that the only conclusion we can come to is that you're not delusional and that this is really happening."
"... So...you really are the Doctor?"
"That's right! … Don'tdropmeagainAUGH!" Too late, my phone slipped from my fingers and landed on the floor. "Ouch. That's a good way to crack your screen, you know."
I thrust my fingers through my hair, trying to keep my breathing calm as my heart rate accelerated. This… No way. This can't be real…
Can it?
Slowly, my vocals began working again. "How...did you get here?"
"Well it's actually quite a long story-Wait, do you already know of me?. Yes, I do seem to recall you mentioning that."
"No shit, Spaceman."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I gasped and clapped my hand over it.
The lack of sound from the other end gave the impression that his...The Doctor's...reaction was similar "... That… Donna…" His voice was filled with surprise. And grief. A tone I knew all too well. "She… She always used to call me that. Another me."
A lump of sadness wedged its way into my throat. "I'm so sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to bring her up-"
"How do you know about her?" The question was almost accusational.
"How can I not? She was the most important woman in the whole wide universe."
"Yes, but, nobody knows about that-Wait, I said that! The last me!"
"The Tenth-" slipped from my lips before I could stop it.
"... Okay, my turn to be confused now. Who are you and how do you know so much about me?"
I said the first thing that came to mind. "Magic."
The silence that followed gave me the impression of a deadpan stare.
"Okay okay, not magic." I took a deep breath through my nose, then let it out and began slowly. "Okay. My name is Elliana Anderson."
"Yes, yes, I got that from your text messages."
"... You've been snooping through my texts?"
This silence was awkward. "Um, well, I wouldn't exactly call it snooping. More like...sifting for information. Yeah, that's it!"
It was my turn to do the deadpan stare. "That, sir, is bullshit" I told him sternly.
"Watch your mouth, young lady. And no it isn't!"
"Yes it is!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Not!
"Too!"
"We're getting off subject!"
"Not my fault you're a five-year-old!"
"Hey! I happen to be a lot older than you, young lady!"
"Well DUH! How old are you now? Passed 900 years for sure, probably closer to 1000. But your mental state is that of a child! That's why I love you!"
"Oh yeah well-Wait what?"
Oops.
"Okay look," I started to rapidly explain. "I don't know how you got into this universe, but here you don't exist. You're the main character on a British TV show. The most successful, longest running tv show of all time. It's called Doctor Who. Just hit 50 years of running. It's all about you and your adventures. And I've seen them all, okay? I've seen every episode, every movie from your first regeneration up to what's on TV now. And you're…" I paused, the magnitude of just who I was talking to crashing down on me at full force. "You're fantastic."
The longest pause yet, which my mouth decided to fill with more facts.
"You're in your eleventh generation, by how you choose to count, and us too. You have dark hair, green eyes and a large chin. You dress like an old man, with suspenders and a bowtie, even though you're physically the youngest regeneration-No, hold on, hang on hang on hang on-Your actor's the youngest, but you're supposed to be the second youngest. You say that bowties are cool, but no one agrees with you. You try to wear fezzes but no one ever lets you. You're the current generation, and your actor is Matt Smith-"
"Enough!" the Doctor yelled. He was using that harsh, frustrated tone, the one he used so rarely. I heard the sound of a deep breath being taken, then he asked, "First off, who is we?"
"Your fans," I answered, slightly embarrassed. "You've got quite the following."
… "Really?" he sounded somewhat pleased.
"Heck yes! I said you're the most successful show of all time. You've been going on for 50 years for a reason. I've said it before and I'll say it again: If all the Whovians-That's what we call ourselves-that ever existed got together, we could literally take over the world. No one would be able to organize us though, except...you. Oh...gosh. You're here, you're here! You're really HERE!"
"Please don't drop me anymore!"
"O-Okay, sorry."
"It's alright. … So, I've got quite a lot of fans, huh?" There was no missing the smugness in his voice.
"You have no idea."
"And you're on of them."
"... Yes." I answered somewhat shamefully.
Sounding a tad offended, the Doctor asked, "And why is that a bad thing?"
"It's not!" I rushed to correct myself. "It's just...it's really viewed as a nerdy thing. Not exactly something you're supposed to be proud of. But we are." I lifted my head a bit. "We Whovians are proud to be in the fandom of such an amazing show." I paused, thinking what I'd just said over. "But don't you go getting a big head now Doctor. It's already big enough."
"... Hey!"
A giggle escaped me at the Doctor's indignant tone, which only increased when he finished. "... You're right."
Biting back my laughter, I continued, "Okay, my turn. Why are you here? How did you get here."
"Well, I was trying to visit an old…" Down his tone went again. "Friend."
… "Oh." Immediately my mood plummeted as well. "I'm sorry."
"You know about that too?"
"... Yes."
"Wow. I'm feeling severely violated right now."
"Says the Martian who went through my texts."
"... I'm-I'm not-I'm not-I'm not from Mars."
That giggle was back. "Sorry, I just wanted to hear you say it."
"Why?"
"... Reasons. Anyway, how'd you get into my phone?"
"Well, when I got here my TARDIS didn't like it. She never does when we switch dimensions. … I suppose you know about that too."
"Yeah."
"Right. So when we got here, she automatically locked onto the most familiar thing in the vicinity, which turned out to be your cellular device."
"Well I guess that makes sense. I've got lots of Doctor Who media on here."
"You do?"
"Yeah, just look through my pictures."
"... Can I do so without you freaking out about your privacy?"
"Fine."
As if someone was physically touching the screen, my pictures app was selected.
"Oh you've even got a folder here. That's handy." the voice from my phone commented as my 'Doctor Who' folder was selected. Pictures scrolled by as if I was flipping them myself, each one paused at and examined before moving on. "You've even got pictures of other me's." The Doctor observed, his tone neutral.
I pursed my lips, an important question coming to me. "Doctor?" I asked. "How early is this for you?"
"Now you sound like River." he commented. "I've just dropped Clara off after we went to the Rings of Akhaten-"
"Okay got it." I stopped him. It wasn't exactly in character for him to ask about his future, but I was still afraid it would happen. "New question: How can you see me?"
"Through your cameras!" I could hear the Doctor's smile. "Took me a bit to be able to see anything, but now I've got them both!"
Thinking it better, I held my phone at a more flattering angle. First rule of selfies: never take one from below. "You haven't been messing around with anything else, have you?" I asked.
"I have been tinkering a bit yes. Oh but don't worry I haven't touched any of your personal things."
"Except my texts."
"Can't you let that one go?"
A smirk crept onto my face. "Not a chance. So what were you working on?"
"Oh you'll like this bit!" the Doctor replied, his enthusiasm somewhat contagious. "Hang on now, just gotta flip this switch…" Multiple sounds that did not sound like switch-flipping. In fact, it sounded more like banging and scrambling around. For some reason the image of him doing so in my head involved him being cartoonish, somewhat like a Looney Toon. Weird brain of mine. "Aha! Got it! Here we go!"
Softly, like it wasn't there at all, a familiar noise began playing from the speakers. It was a whirring, whooshing sound. And it was beautiful. Accompanying it, something began to fade onto my phone's screen, in front of the apps. Only about a few inches tall, but there all the same, was the blue TARDIS.
Hello, Sexy, I thought to myself. This has to be the weirdest, coolest thing to ever happen to me.
When the time machine stabilized into an opaque form, the whirring stopped. And the door opened. Then, out stepped the oncoming storm himself.
In a fez.
"Wow!" he exclaimed, leaning backwards and looking around. "That is strange isn't it? It's like I'm actually on your screen! Apps floating in the air, background picture like a sky… Wait a second… Oh, that is quite an unflattering picture, isn't it?"
My face began to heat up when I realized just what was my background. Remember during the 50th Anniversary Special, when the tenth Doctor told the eleventh Doctor that he didn't like what he'd done to the TARDIS and he made that pouty face? Well, that was the picture.
Plus a flower crown.
"It's a funny face!" I defended myself. "That expression, I mean, not the actually face. See?" I did my best impersonation of the face.
When the Doctor saw my expression he looked caught between laughter and taking offence. "I did not look like that!" he protested.
"Hm, you're right," I twisted my lip in thought. "Oh! Hang on a second!" I set my phone down on my desk, ignoring the Doctor's sounds of protest, grabbed my flower crown (don't ask), placed it on my head and picked up my phone again. "Now how do I look?" I remade the face.
The Doctor pushed away from the TARDIS, which he'd been clinging to for some reason. "I still did not look that silly." he replied indignantly.
"Riiiiight," I considered throwing the flower crown away like a frisbee, but decided to keep it, cuz, you know, he had a funny hat, I had a funny hat, why not? "Wait wait, if you got, like, physically downloaded into my phone, why are you physically on my screen? Seems a bit illogical."
"Well, it's all a bit complicated, you know," the Doctor fumbled with his words, using his hands to make wild, nonsensical gestures. "It's all very...spacy-wacy."
"You have no idea, do you?"
"No."
"Well I guess it's not important." Saying this brought another question to my mind. "But, something that is… How are you gonna get back to your world?"
The Doctor's expression turned to his thinking face, which was strange to see on a little man the size of a shimji. "Still working on that." he replied. "However, I don't know how long it'll take, so I'm going to have to stay here for awhile."
My brain malfunctioned like a low-quality robot at the mercy of a sonic screwdriver. "Wait, You mean, like, here, in my phone?"
"Seeing how I've got absolutely no idea how to get out, I suppose so."
Before I could reply to that, I heard a familiar noise. It sounded like someone pounding up the hallway, and it was getting closer.
If I'd been in an anime at this point, I would've sweatdropped. "Oh no."
"EeeeeellllllliiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaanAAAAAAAAAAA!" My door was thrown open and before I could even process what was happening a great force hit me straight-on and sent me tumbling head-over heels on the floor.
"DAMNIT SOPH!" I yelled into her shirt, which was all I could see at the moment. "Why?! Why do you always do this?!"
Despite my struggles, I felt myself being flipped over, pinned to the ground and sat on. "Because it's funny!" my best friend and housemate answered.
Once again I tried to get up, but because I'm a fucking weakling I was stuck. "Can you please get off of me?" I groaned.
"What's the magic word?"
"Please?"
"Actually, the magic word was lotion. But I'll accept your please 'cuz you're a wimp." The weight on my back was lifted.
Pushing myself off the ground, I rolled onto my back and looked up at my friend, who was standing over me smugly. Soph's not very tall, or wide for that matter. She's a little stick of a girl, an Asian girl to be exact, but still strong enough to knock me, and just about anyone else, over. And she was wearing one heck of a grin. "What do you want?" I asked.
"I want you to get up and get going, lazy bones!" she laughed, grabbing my hands and hauling me to my feet. "We've got morning classes, remember? And then work, and then the par-tay!" Soph struck a pose.
I made a distressed noise and fell back to the floor. "I don't wanna."
Soph huffed and walked around to my head. "Quit being anti-social and get moving!" She said. My hands were grabbed and I found myself being dragged across the floor.
Feeling like being difficult, I hooked my foot around the leg of my bed and I stopped moving.
But Soph isn't that easily deterred. "I said let's go!" she exclaimed as she pulled harder.
When I felt my sock-footed grip begin to slip, I wrapped my other foot around the same leg for good measure. "No!" I protested.
After a few more seconds, during which I felt like my arms were going to pop out of their sockets, Soph relinquished her hold and dropped my arms to the floor.
I bent my head way backwards, confused by my friend's lack of persistence, and my eyes widened. There in Soph's hand was my phone. Apparently it'd flown pretty far out of my hand when I'd been tackled, and now it was in the absolute worst place it could be.
Doctor! Even the voice in my head was afraid.
"Looking for this?" my friend asked, waving the phone teasingly.
"Sophia Stone Shang you drop that phone this instant, young lady!" I demanded as rolled over and got to my feet.
"Oo that struck a nerve now didn't it?" my 'friend' grinned like the Joker. "Sorry girl, but Triple S ain't gonna give it till you get up!"
Knowing that she wouldn't give it up even then, I decided to cut the chit-chat and go straight to the action; I launched myself at my friend.
Soph dodged easily and took off down the hall, leaving me to slam face-first into the wall. "Owwww," I moaned as I rubbed my nose, which somehow wasn't bleeding. "Sorry, Mr. Wall." Then I shoved myself to my feet and sprinted after my friend, following the sound of maniacal laughter.
The only reason I got my phone back was because of pizza, and Soph loves pizza.
But I didn't offer to make it for her.
Oh no.
I threatened to dump it out the window.
"NO NOT THE TRIPLE-CHEESE!" she cried, falling to her knees and presenting my phone in outstretched arms. "You win! Just spare the Italian food!"
"... Bow to me." I told her.
Without hesitation, Soph proceeded to do just that. "I AM NOT WORTHY!"
A smile working its way onto my face, I put the pizza down safely on the counter, grabbed my phone and went back to my room. I could hear Soph in the kitchen, cooing softly, "I'll never let her touch you again baby. Sh, it's alright. Mama Mia's here."
Once I was around the corner, I clutched my phone close and whispered, "Doctor, you alright?" I was quite alarmed when I realized that said madman was no longer on screen. "Doctor?"
Slowly, something began to emerge from the top of the screen.
Give ya one guess.
"Is she gone?" the Doctor asked, sticking his head down and looking around.
"Yeah. Sorry about that. Soph gets carried away sometimes."
Just like a child climbing down from a jungle gym, the Doctor swung the rest of his body down and dangled for a second before dropping to the 'ground.' "Well, no harm no foul, as they say."
"She is right though," I said, being careful to set the phone down gently on my nightstand before walking over to my closet. "I do have to get going. Long day ahead of me."
"Ah yes," his voice louder, like it was on speaker phone. "The domestic life. Don't quite know how you can stand it."
"I can't." I responded, grabbing whatever was on the nearest hanger and walking back over. Then it hit me. "Ooooh wait," I facepalmed. "I'm gonna have to take you with me, aren't I?"
"Afraid so, if you're going to need your phone with you at all."
"Kinda essential in this day and age." I sighed and tried to sound positive. "Well this should be fun."
Oh cruel irony.
