I don't know if it had been seconds or minutes before I felt the two muscular arms pull me from the water. I was slipping in and out of unconsciousness. I felt a towel wrap around me and then I was lifted up into the arms that have 'saved' me. I blacked out with the thoughts of reminding myself I didn't deserve to be saved. I woke up in Dr. Olendzki's office for about the fifth time this year. I felt groggy and soon realized Dimitri was standing next to me. His face was full of worry and his eyes showed how much he cared. "rose." he smiled a sad smile at me as he pulled a chair over next to me. "how are you feeling" I spoke not realizing how sore my throat was. "sleepy. And my throat hurts" he put his hand on mine and for a moment all the bad things that had happened disappeared it was just us. "that seems right. You've been coughing up a lot of water" his eyes I now noticed had fear in them. He could try to keep his composure as much as he wanted but I could see through him. He was scared though I couldn't tell why.

"how long have I been out" I asked feeling like I had been out for a while.

"two days" he stated bluntly

whoa two days. I did remember waking up and coughing up a lot of water. It didn't feel too good at all. I also remembered feeling the sensations of hot then cold then hot again. Oh no. I realized Lissa had tried to heal me. Had it worked? Was I dying? I wondered how bad I really was until she used her magic on me? I realized something else that was strange.

My dark twisted thoughts, the madness inside me.

Was gone.

It was strange and as if thinking about her summoned her she appeared next to me. "rose! Oh my god I'm glad your okay" her arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace weak as felt I hugged her back. Feeling through the bond I could tell how worried she really was. But as I searched her thoughts I felt deep deep back in her mind a bit of anger still lingered, but this time it wasn't because of Adrian. She was mad that I had even thought of suicide. Mad that I had thought of leaving her alone. She felt hurt but the worry for my safety stood stronger.

"you" I then felt all the guilt from my actions "you healed me?"

she nodded.

"but why?" I couldn't let her keep doing that. "it hurts you and-" I stopped I still couldn't bare to tell her about how I had been taking all her pain away. Not even noticing my strange behavior she shook her head. "I've been using spirit a lot lately and none of the madness seems to be as bad as it was before. I think the pills may have some sort of lingering effect" I wished that was the truth. She had no Idea or hadn't even thought that I had been the one who had been taking her pain away. Making sure she didn't go mad but in return it was I who went mad. I couldn't tell her I just couldn't. But I didn't need to because right then Adrian had come in. he apparently didn't leave after all and I hoped my stupid lack of judgment hadn't been the reason. I had hoped he just really wanted to stay here. "actually Lissa it's been rose" he stated. I gave him a look that said don't but he didn't seem to care. "shes been the one keeping you safe. I know I saw it" Lissa looked at him more confused than ever. "what do you mean that she is the reason I'm safe? What do you mean you saw it" she looked back at me and I couldn't bare to look at her. Why couldn't Adrian had just left. I could handle this I was fine. As if reading my thoughts Adrian countered them "haven't you noticed her moods. Shes been on edge jumpy angry sad. I don't think in all this time I've seen a spark of the rose I love until right now." that made me and Dimitri both stare at him. The rose I love. Great. I didn't hate Adrian but I sure as hell didn't love him either. He was just a friend. What was Dimitri going to think of that.

"yeah" I heard Lissa say not taking my eyes of Adrian.

Dr Olendzki entered at that moment shocked to see so many people in the room. I hadn't even noticed Christian who came in with Lissa. Wow was I out of it.

"well now that I see that your awake rose how are you feeling" she ignored all the other people thought she shot them a look that said there were way too many people here.

"better" I said. She checked my temperature I hadn't even noticed the slight fever I had. I didn't care though a fever was nothing. After a bit of finagling I got her to let me go and Lissa Dimitri and Adrian decided to walk me back to my dorm. Though I think Lissa and Adrian just wanted to talk about what I already knew. Christian left us to go do something more fun. Thought I just think he didn't want to see Lissa getting all chummy with Adrian about spirit anymore.

"so what did you mean back there?" Lissa asked again

"the reason for all of that is because rose takes your anger and despair and puts it in her own." Lissa face matched mine when Adrian had told me the same thing. She was confused she didn't think that made any sense but then our whole predicament didn't really make much sense.

"what do you mean by that"

"that day we were learning together and you got frustrated. I saw darkness in your aura but in a matter of seconds it had jumped from yours to hers" she was starting to get it now. She though back to how lately any time she would get angry or upset it would disappear like it never happened but then I would be upset. The more she thought about it the more it made sense.

"so all your out burst have been because of me?" there it was what I have been dreading the guilt she felt for causing me so much suffering and pain flowed through the bond. I quickly tried to take it from her but she noticed this time

"no! Don't" she grabbed my hard tightly to stop me. We had stopped on the way to the dorm and a few passersby stared at us but right now I couldn't deal with that. "don't take it from me it hurts you" he face was full of worry and as I looked at Adrian and Dimitri so was theirs. Adrian knew what it did and after hearing Adrian explain it to Lissa, Dimitri caught on as well. I looked at all the people who really did care about me it was hard to imagine that two days ago I thoughts of freeing them from me and taking my own life. They really did care and knew that. I smiled which apparently caught them off guard.

"why are smiling?" she said confusion now grouped with the earlier emotions of worry and guilt.

" I never thoughts you would be stronger than me in all of this." I moved moved her hand off my arm and smiled at her. "im supposed to be the one protecting you but right now it seems like you have a better chance of being my guardian than me being yours" I chuckled and I soon saw a smile creep over her face.

"you don't always have to be the strong one. I can protect you too" I soon felt like we were on the verge of hugging and I really hoped we would.

"they come first" I said the more I thought about it "its always been my rule its been the guardians rule. My problems are nothing yours always come first. You come first I'm your guardian and wont ever put myself before you..." I thought about how suicide was putting myself before her but she just smiled and didn't seem to think about that.

"there is only one problem with your logic rose" my tough rose face faltered in surprise. Problem how could there be a problem with that its how its always been. They come first. The rule that every guardian followed.

"what would that be" I said in a kind of cocky attitude I didn't mean to add.

"they come first is a guardian rule but your not just my guardian your my best friend. Your my sister. Meaning we each take half. We protect each other. We listen to each others problems."

I was speechless. All this time I had thought of myself as her guardian first to protect and put her before everything and this whole time she had never once considered me that. I was her best friend just that. And thats all she ever asked for. She didn't have to tell me the rest I could read her mind I want you to come to me with your problems like best friends do. Don't hold back. As if reading my thoughts she added your problems aren't a burden I want to watch over you like you do for me.

I didn't realize then that it had gotten very silent between us and Adrian was giving us quite an awkward look. I then hugged her and she hugged back "thanks" I whispered in her ear. I could feel the happiness flow through the bond and I was glad things were at least a little bit back to normal. And again as if everyone around here could read my thought. What did everyone have a bond with me today or something? Adrian spoke "well things aren't back to normal yet." we both let go and looked at him confused at his weird sentiment.

He took the confusion proudly. Probably feeling great that he had stumped the great dynamic duo.

"i found something new out about spirit" immediately excitement lit up Lissa face and her mind. She couldn't wait to learn more on spirit she could dream walk and see auras now. The neither was perfected yet she still had trouble with seeing the auras sometimes and she could only dream walk if she was hanging with Adrian. Which I don't know if Christian would have liked to hear that that meant Lissa had to sleep in adrians room.

"well I don't know Liss a might already know about it." she just stared at him excitement still on her face but she had no idea what he mean by that. I hoped he wasn't going full on crazy now. I wondered when the last time he had a drink or smoke was.

"i-i don't think so."

"you didn't notice anything about rose's aura when you healed her" apparently he had been there when she had healed me as sort of a training example. That kind of made me feel like a lab rat for their spirit education though.

"lie I said I can only sometimes see auras I couldn't see anything then. I was so flustered I kept my focus on healing rose. I really have to focus to see auras still I cant see them like you can yet." I could feel frustration and wanted to pull it from her but it soon went away after Adrian spoke.

"it was black really black when we came in it kind of looked like it was engulfing her." Lissa eyes went wide with worry she looked at me and all I could do was shrug. " but then" he went on "when you healed her it was like nothing I've ever seen. All that darkness just vanished. It didn't go back in your aura but it was gone out of rose's" I stood there in shock but a witty remark soon came to my mouth as if this wasn't anything new

"so did you finally get a good color out of my aura" he nodded and I hadn't realized till now how much I actually wanted to know what color it was.

"reddish purple like a magenta so beautiful and tough just like you beautiful like a rose." oh great there he went off to delusion land. But then Lissa realized something.

"wait!" she exclaimed "does that mean" and as if reading her thoughts like I can he responded.

"yupp. You healed the madness within her. Kind of ironic now that you think of your conversation about protecting each other"

I couldn't believe it neither could Lissa she could use her spirit to heal the madness I took from her.