»It's not a walk of shame, Castle.«

He falls into a slow jog to catch up with her as she gets on the elevator. »Oh, it totally is, dearest.«

She shoots him a look. Dearest? Are they trying out pet names now? Or is this just Castle being Castle?

»It's not a walk of shame because I'm not ashamed.«

»Oh no? Remind me again why I heard you complain about not wanting to go all morning, then?«

With an amused smile, he leans back against the wall of the elevator, looking all smug and entirely too relaxed. He's not supposed to be relaxed. He won't be going to the precinct anymore either, if this doesn't work.

»I don't want to do it, but I'm not ashamed to do it. There's a difference.«

»I'm sure there is.« He pauses. »It's still a walk of shame. Ow!«

She has hit him, but he just fights her off, catches her wrists and laughs. God, he looks happy. Like he has all he's ever, ever wanted. That perfect smile in that horribly beautiful face of his. It makes her want to lose it and start punching/kissing/squeezing/pinching him. It's really weird, especially the pinching part.

But of course, she doesn't say that. She doesn't say anything and just gets off the elevator, her boyfriend (she forces herself to think the word - it sounds like nothing Castle ever is, and he's a lot of things) on her heels.

»Let's get coffee first.«

»You just had coffee...«

While bickering with him over small things, Beckett tries to feel out their new way of dealing with each other. Are they behaving that differently? Are they getting all.. couple-y? She grimaces inwardly.

The bickering might be a couple thing, but they did that before - no doubt there, thanks to Lanie.

They don't really kiss in public, but it doesn't feel awkward, it just feels like it belongs to only them. It makes holding hands more meaningful. Less teeny.

He still calls only calls he ,Kate' when they're alone. And talking about something serious. (He also calls her Katherine in delicate moments. It sounds angry, and maybe he is, but it's actually kind of sweet. And... disturbingly hot.)

What else is new? They slowly find out more about each other. Like the fact that he doesn't want to let her use his bathroom if it isn't neatly cleaned. She does it anyways.

»Hey, Beckett, can we stop by th-«

There is a sound that makes her die inside.

A sound she knows too well, she has heard it before. Has dreamt about it. Over and over again.

It makes everything slow down and rush forward at the same time.

His face is so serious, so hard and relentlessly expressionless as he stumbles backwards, his hands reaching out, struggling, Kate's soul turns into ashes.

And then he's on the ground, his lips twitching like he just doesn't understand,

»Castle«

She's all over him. There is no coherent thought in her head, there is just no no no no and Castle no and I haven't told you enough yet and no Castle no, she may be screeching at him.

Her hands try to keep it in him, but there is blood everywhere, she wants to kiss him, but there is blood coming out of his mouth as his lips try to form words, no Rick, no, he slips away and there is blood coming out of his eyes and ears, so much that she's afraid he will just bleed out right there on the pavement, it stains her white gloves.

A distinct voice yells 911, call 911 and it's all so far away, like being very drunk, like wading through water, it's so hard and so slow. Gone is his smile, and his skin cracks up when she reaches up to touch his face, there is more blood - everything, everything good is taken away and replaced by sheer, mere horror, as her Castle lies shot beneath her and his eyes don't close, they just look at her and lose all meaning.

»Just don't do this«, his mouth says reproachfully. »If you care about me at all.«

Kate doesn't sit up as she awakens, she's not sweaty as they are in the movies. She just opens her eyes and feels her heart race against her chest, she feels so sick and cold when she turns around.

He lies next to her, breathing slowly. I can't believe this, she thinks, I can't believe my life is so melodramatic. It's ridiculous. Her heart contracts in her ribcage and for the spur of a moment, she wants to have sex with him, just to feel how freaking alive he is. And she is.

»Castle.« Bending down, she touches his arm and kisses his temple.

»Kate come back to sleep.« His arm swings out to her uncoordinated in a sleepy attempt to pull her towards his chest. His absolutely unharmed chest. But she draws aside and catches his wrist.

»Castle, wake up, please. I need to talk to you.«