Cole leaned back against the cold marble bier. He tolerated the discomfort because she was once more in his arms. He felt her shiver and cuddle closer to his side so he wrapped his arm tighter around her and kissed the top of her head as she shifted to rest it on his chest. There was no need to talk until he felt the hot tears trickling down his chest. "What's wrong?" he quietly asked, almost afraid she would deny what had just occurred. Or worse, that she'd claim it meant nothing. When she didn't answer, he reached over and switched on the flashlight. "Phoebe?"
"I can't hear your heart," she softly cried.
Torn between feeling relief that their lovemaking hadn't upset her and annoyance with himself for having doubted her in the first place, he kissed the top of her head and stroked her bare shoulder. After a moment, he confirmed, "Because it's not beating. I'm not part of your world anymore, Phoebe."
"But you're here," she whispered.
"Because you needed me to be," he quietly explained before planting another kiss in her hair.
She tightened her grip around him. "It wasn't wrong for us to love. Not now, not then. I don't believe that."
"But?"
"But I'm not sure we were ever meant for a happy ending." She lifted her head to gaze at him, "We tried though, didn't we?"
"We tried every way we could," he agreed, caressing her cheek, "but we couldn't change who we were."
"I should've been more accepting, more tolerant," she lamented as she pulled away from him and sat up, drawing her knees to her chest. "Why was it so easy to believe in Drake when he's a demon with the same deadly powers? Why was it so easy to forgive his being tricked into harming an innocent?"
"Who's Drake?" he asked as he began to lightly knead her shoulders.
"A demon we met today," she replied before turning around to face him. She let him pull her into a position where she sat straddling him. She bent her head and kissed him before continuing, "He showed up at Magic School on a motorcycle and practically demanded the job from Paige who -"
"What's Paige doing in Magic School?" he interrupted with something of a groan as Phoebe kissed that sensitive spot she remembered would drive him wild.
She sat up straight, "You know about Magic School?"
"Everyone knows about Magic School," Cole rolled his eyes. "Not everyone's figured out how to break through its magical protection. What about Paige?"
"In a nutshell," Phoebe kissed the tip of his nose, "she runs the place and's been looking to hire a new teacher and, as I said, Drake applied for the job."
He ran his hands up Phoebe's bare back, "Paige gave the job to a demon? Things have changed, haven't they?"
"Sometimes I'm not sure we've changed at all," she shrugged.
Cole pulled her closer and kissed her deeply before asking, "So what's so special about this Drake?"
She sighed and sat up again, lacing her fingers with his, "He said he'd spent his life avoiding killing innocents because he'd been fascinated by literature and -"
His eyes widened and he interrupted, "Drake the Bookworm?"
"Bookworm?" she echoed in surprise. "I suppose that fits. But he knew I'd married a demon, why didn't he say you knew each other?"
"Not that well," he told her. "Occasionally, I sought his advice about dealing with humans. He had some good insight probably because of all the books he devoured." Cole could sense her question forming and smiled, "Not literally. Anyway, he probably figured I wouldn't exactly be a good reference for his getting the job. So how's old Drake doing anyway? Probably thinks he died and went to heaven surrounded by all those texts available at the school…"
Phoebe's smile instantly faded, "He's dying. He made a deal with the Sorcerer and - ow, Cole, watch the fingers."
He apologized by bringing her fingers to his lips in order to lightly kiss them. "The Sorcerer's a sneaky bastard. Drake probably had no idea what he was getting into."
"Unfortunately he did," she informed him. "He's willingly giving up his life in return for having been given a year to be human."
He smiled again, "Sounds like Drake got what he always wanted."
Phoebe stiffened and declared, "It's not fair. The Sorcerer played into his desires. Drake didn't have to make a deal to do good, to be human."
"Maybe he did," Cole considered. "Maybe he needed to become human with only a human's temptations rather than the pull of magic working against him. Maybe he thought he had a better chance to do good by being human. Maybe he thought it would mean more."
"Then why didn't it work for you?" she retorted before shamefully hanging her head. "I didn't mean it that way. I know it was more complicated."
He brushed the hair from her eyes and tilted her chin up, "He might've been a demon but Drake wasn't evil, Phoebe. He spent his time among books and never gave into it. But I did. For over a century I suppressed my human side in order to wreak havoc on innocent lives. Their blood would have stained my hands no matter how many years I spent atoning my actions."
"You didn't know better," she weakly protested.
"And when I did?" He kissed her fingers again, "In the end, Phoebe, I couldn't let go, and I couldn't see the damage I was doing, not really."
"But you were doing it out of love," she argued, "and I should've -"
"I was doing it out of fear," he interrupted. "I was afraid of what I'd be without you by my side. It's that simple, Phoebe, I was afraid of failing so I clung tightly and ruined what was left of our love."
Phoebe leaned forward, kissed him tenderly on the lips, and finally confessed, "I was just as afraid and did as much damage to our relationship." Tears filled her eyes as she caressed his cheek, "And I know now what it's like to become obsessed. I lost my powers because -"
"You lost your -"
She shushed him with a finger to his lips and continued, "All I wanted was to make up for the evil I thought I'd brought into our lives. And when I saw my first vision of a world without evil, I was even more crazed with making it come true. I d-"
"What kind of vision?"
She sighed, "I saw Paige as a teacher and Piper with her two boys and…and I saw myself pregnant. Piper said it was a little girl."
Cole couldn't help but gaze at her flat, toned, stomach. "What about your powers?" he asked quietly.
"Used them for personal gain. I'd forgotten what kind of witch I was supposed to be," she replied.
"I'm sorry," he sincerely told her as he pulled her close for another kiss.
"I deserved the punishment," she murmured before kissing his forehead. She rested her forehead against his for a moment before adding, "I've gotten back my premonitions. They're not as advanced as they were before I lost them but it's a start."
He ran his fingers up and down her sides, "You said it was your first vision. There were others?"
"One other," she softly admitted. "Of my little girl with Piper's boys coming out of school. She must've been about four or so and she had long brown hair and, oh, she was so beautiful. Only now that we've rejected the Avatars, I'm not sure it'll ever come true." His fingers suddenly dug into waist. "Cole?"
"The Avatars approached you?"
"After Leo joined them and -"
He grabbed her wrists, "Is he out of his mind? The Avatars aren't about good and evil, Phoebe, they're about shaping the world. It's about the power to ch-"
"We know," she interrupted. "It was almost too late but we learned what they meant by Utopia."
Cole loosened his grip and kissed her wrists before gazing into her tear-filled eyes. "What else, Phoebe?" She shook her head but he gently insisted, "You're so close but you have to say it." She didn't speak and he continued with more kisses pressed to her fingers, "You won't be struck down by the Elders or even your sisters. You need to say it."
"I wish…" She brought his fingers to her lips and kissed them before gently squeezing them.
"Set yourself free," he encouraged in a hoarse voice. "Set us free."
"I wish we could've had another chance," she announced in a voice barely above a whisper. She saw him waiting for the words she'd buried deep in her heart, words she'd never thought she'd ever hear herself say again, "I love you, Cole. I never stopped and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
When she collapsed against him in tears, he flipped off the flashlight, wrapped his arms around her, and proceeded to show her how they could forgive each other without saying a single word.
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Phoebe leaned back against Cole and tugged his arms tighter around her waist. "This was our chance, wasn't it?" she murmured sadly.
"Wasn't it enough?"
She quickly turned her head slightly in his direction, "Of course it was. It was more than enough. But now…"
"Now you want more," he concluded with a kiss to her neck.
She turned away again with a nod, "And now I want more…God, even dead you're still the best…" His chest rumbled behind her and she chuckled, "Never did argue about this, did we?"
"No," he agreed, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder, "we were never more perfect than when we were like this." When she laced his fingers with hers and rested them on her stomach, he suggested, "So why don't we -" He abruptly stopped talking when she stiffened but, before he could ask about her, his vision went hazy before a different image sharpened into focus. "Phoebe?" She was propped up in a bed, obviously crying out in pain, and it took him a split-second to realize she was giving birth. He watched the doctor place the screaming baby in her arms and he couldn't speak as he watched her examine her son. The vision began to blur and fade just as another baby was placed on her chest.
Phoebe clenched his fingers as the vision faded and hitched a sob when she realized with wonder the truth about her little girl. "You're her daddy. You're my Ladybug's daddy."
"That can't be," he argued in a whisper.
"You are," she excitedly insisted as she pressed their linked fingers to her lips. "You are."
"No," he denied and practically yanked his fingers free. "I'm dead, Phoebe. I can't possibly -"
"Leo's dead too and it didn't stop him," she countered as she, in an effort to better describe to him her vision, twisted herself completely around so that she now lay on him, awkwardly propping her elbows on his chest. "It was so -" she stopped herself when she saw his eyes glistening in the darkness, "Cole? You saw?"
He nodded and reached for her hands, squeezing them tightly, "It was…He was…Twins, Phoebe. You have twins…"
"We have twins," she corrected as her tears fell, "and they were beautiful. But I didn't see you, Cole. You weren't there, you weren't with me. Why? If Leo can be with Piper…It isn't fair! Why, Cole? Why can we come so close only to lose each other? Why?"
In an effort to calm her, Cole kissed her fiercely before finally croaking, "I was there. You have to believe. No matter what happens, Phoebe, I'll be there."
"Always," she promised, bringing his hand back to her heart and pressing it to her chest. "Always in my heart. And I'll make sure they -"
"What's wrong?"
"My premonitions," she gasped. "Piper never said…I never saw a boy, Cole. Oh God, I lose our little boy. I -"
Cole interrupted with a kiss, "You don't know that. Your visions were out of context. When you saw yourself pregnant with a girl, you might not have known you were having twins. And when you saw our little girl older, you don't know that our son wasn't somewhere else at the time."
Her heart pounded as she considered his words, "I guess…"
"Can you…?"
When he didn't continue, Phoebe tenderly kissed his lips, "Can I what?"
He gently wiped away a shiny tear that still clung to her cheek. "Your powers. Are they advanced enough to - I mean could you send a vi-"
Phoebe interrupted with a kiss and tugged at his hands, placing a kiss in each palm before resting her own palms on top. "Close your eyes," she quietly commanded as she closed hers and concentrated on sending him the visions she'd had. His sharp intake of breath registered only vaguely and she couldn't stop her tears from falling as she watched the images she'd already memorized. It was suddenly fresh for her, as if she was seeing them for the first time, because now she knew the search for her child's father had ended with the one she'd wanted all along. "I love you, Cole," she declared as she opened her eyes and gazed into his shiny ones.
Cole pulled her down and clung to her before letting his actions speak for him.
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Dressed, Phoebe stood before him at the bottom of the stairs and did her best to control her emotions. She refused to fall apart now.
"I'm proud of you," he quietly said as he caressed her cheek.
"I didn't d-"
"I'm not finished yet," he interrupted with a smile. She leaned into his palm and he brought his other hand to her other cheek. "You took a chance with me, Phoebe. You didn't know I was a threat and, in spite of the risks, you opened your heart and let me in. And after you learned the truth, you fought for me, you fought for us."
She couldn't meet his gaze and stared at her boots. "Not hard enough."
"You fought longer than I had any right to expect," he told her. "I became your enemy, Phoebe. I threatened the very heart of your world and it was made all the worse for you because you loved me. But you survived and grew stronger for it. And now…"
"And now," she spoke softly, placing her hands on his, "now I'm going to make sure that our children grow up to be true to themselves, always. They won't be afraid to follow their hearts in fear of what others believe. They'll be strong individuals whose magic will be a natural extension of their abilities. And they'll be proud of their father, of the man he was, because they'll know that I am. And I am, Cole. I'm so proud to have known you, to have loved you, and to have been the one who made you want to acknowledge and accept your humanity." She slid her arms around his neck and gently pulled him closer, "Thank you for loving me even when I didn't deserve it."
Before their lips met, Cole whispered, "Thank you for loving me even when I didn't deserve it."
It was a sweet, tender, kiss filled with promise and farewell and, when Phoebe opened her eyes, she found herself alone in the mausoleum. And, yet, she wasn't as crushed as she'd feared she'd be once she realized her reunion with Cole would be only temporary. Because Cole would always be a part of her and she wasn't afraid to acknowledge it anymore.
Picking up the flashlight from the bottom step, she decided to wait until morning to tell her sisters about the miracle that had happened and the plans that she'd have to make for the future. And then she'd talk to Drake and thank him for providing her with the confidence she'd lacked for so long in order to make peace with Cole.
As she climbed the stairs, her hand brushed against her stomach and she smiled, knowing every word she'd told Cole was true. She was proud of him, of their love, and she would be proud of their children. And she would make sure they would be proud. They would know he made a difference. And, somewhere, she knew, he would know and be proud too.
The End
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'what? no, that can't be the end…'
'well it is…'
'but i wanna know what happens!'
'use your imagination…'
'but it's not the same…'
sigh...'very well…go ahead, read the epilogue…'
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