Thank you for the reviews and faves! It makes me happy to go into my inbox and see over 9000 (exaggerating much?) emails from FF. If for some reason I don't reply to your review, it means that I either forgot or didn't get an email saying something.

The idea for this chapter came to me a while ago, when I was playing The Sims 2. Now, I love Sims. I have about 50,000 files of custom content – that's not exaggerating. It might actually be a little low, too. I was making my first Narutohood in my game, when I thought 'how would the Akatsuki react to Sims 2?' Then I thought about how each Akatsuki member would react. Konan's the one who bought the games and downloaded all the CC, by the way. I have a feeling she'd enjoy this game.

Er, it was originally supposed to be just Hidan playing... but then everyone else decided they wanted to play, too...

Fun with the Akatsuki

Chapter 2: Hidan meets the Sims 2

Hidan PoV

I'm fucking bored. Barbie is making shit out of his/her play-dough, Pinocchio's playing with his puppets, Sharkboy's polishing his sword, the Evil Weasel is.. wait, what IS he fucking doing? I think he's trying to out-glare himself in the mirror. Weirdo. Anyway, Lollipop-boy's playing some game with Pein – wait. Why is Pein, our LEADER, playing a game with that freak?

"Leader-sama, why are you playing a fucking game with Lollipop-boy?"

"I lost a bet. Laugh, and I'm going to decapitate you and put your head in the freezer for a month."

"Ookaaay... Somebody's on their period..." Kisame snickered at this. Pein glared at me. Ooh, scary.

Hey, Kakuzu's not outta bed yet. Stupid old man. I decided I'd go wake him up with the new thing that I bought... an air horn. I ran up to my room and grabbed it, before heading to Kakuzu's room. I opened the door and snuck in. I held the air horn up to his ear and...

Tobi/Madara PoV

Hehehe, Nagato's getting pissed off. I can't believe he still thought Deidara was a girl. So now he has to do whatever I say for a week! And I wanted – sorry, TOBI wanted to play Wizarding Chess. What, you think all those Harry Potter crossovers happened without us getting something out of it?

"Leader-sama, why are you playing a fucking game with Lollipop-boy?" LOLLIPOP-BOY? Hidan needs to come up with better nicknames, stupid Jashinist.

"I lost a bet. Laugh, and I'm going to decapitate you and put your head in the freezer for a month." Ooh, he's still bitter. Well no shit, of course he's bitter. Tobi thinks Madara should not swear! Tobi is a good boy! SHUT UP TOBI GET OUT OF MY HEAD. Tobi's actually created by a jutsu. Tobi likes that jutsu! It created you. Of course you like it, retard.

"Ookaaay... Somebody's on their period..." Speaking of periods, I think Konan might be on hers. She slapped Nagato then kissed him earlier. Either that or he did something stupid. Hidan then left the room with an evil grin on his face. I took Pein's king.

"HAH! TOBI BEAT LEADER-SAMA!"

"Goddammit! Where the hell did your queen come from?"

"Did Leader-sama fall for that? Heehee!"

"Wow. Can't believe Leader-sama got beaten by Tobi, un." Heh, Pein doesn't seem very happy to see Deidara. IT'S SEMPAI! CAN TOBI HUG SEMPAI? ...fine...

"SEMPAII! DID YOU MAKE SOMETHING COOL, SEMPAI? CAN TOBI SEE?" It was funny watching Deidara react to suddenly being glomped. Nagato's face was a picture, too.

Suddenly, a loud blaring sound echoed through the base, followed by a yell.

"HIIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! YOU. ARE. DEAD!"

So THAT's what Hidan went to do. Kisame and Deidara started laughing. Sasori was smiling. Even Pein grinned. Hell, the only one who wasn't smiling was Itachi. Tobi thinks Itachi needs a hug! Good idea, especially since he knows that I'm Madara.

"Tobi, get off me." He's so BORING.

"Why, Itachi-san? Tobi thought Itachi-san needed a hug! Can Tobi not hug Itachi-san?"

"KATO-"

"FINE FINE FINE TOBI WILL LET GO OF ITACHI-SAN! DON'T HURT ME!"

"Hn."

Hidan PoV

Oh shit oh shit oh shit...gotta hide from Kakuzu! Everyone else is in the living room but I don't want them to see me running like hell from that old man... I KNOW! KONAN!

I burst into Konan's room. "Konan-sama! You've gotta help me hide from Kakuzu!"

"Since when do you call me Konan-sama? And fine, as long as you play Sims with me."

"What the fuck is Sims...?"
"Do you want me to help you or not?"

"FINE! I'LL DO FUCKING ANYTHING!"

"Good boy. Go through that door there, and stay quiet. And don't touch anything or I'll castrate you and feed your man-parts to Zetsu." She pointed at a door that I'd never seen before. It led to a fucking wardrobe. Lucky bitch has a walk-in wardrobe! I listened as Kakuzu's footsteps approached the door.

"Konan! Have you seen Hidan? I'm going to kill him!" Ah, there he was. Motherfucker.

"He ran past here earlier. Just give it up. I think Tobi and Pein were going to play a game of Monopoly, maybe you can go play with them? Heh, maybe you can convince them to play with real money." She's gooood. I think distraction must be one of her best skills.

"Why would Pein be playing with Tobi in the first place?" He fell for it! He fucking fell for it!

"They bet on Deidara's gender. Pein thought Deidara was a girl. They got Sasori to dare Deidara to streak round the base. Tobi won."

"How is our leader that stupid?"

"I really don't know... I think he's been hit on the head too many times..."

"Okay. If you see Hidan, kick him in the balls for me. Monopoly, here I come!"

Konan shut and locked the door, before opening the wardrobe.

"If you've touched anything..."

"I fucking haven't! I swear to Jashin-sama!" Konan looked suspicious for a few seconds, before dragging me over to her desk. Her computer was loading up something called The Sims 2. Fucking weird name.

"Now, you WILL play Sims with me."

"What the fuck is Sims? You never told me!"

"It's a simulation game. You make and control little families. I've downloaded some stuff so we can make the Akatsuki!" I blinked. So, I could control the Akatsuki? HELL YES!

"Fuck. Yes."

Three hours later, we'd made the entire Akatsuki. We'd had to use some hacks to be able to have all of us in 1 house, but it worked. Konan's self-sim was making out with Pein. My sim was... WTF?

"WHY AM I MAKING OUT WITH SASORI?"

"I don't know! Oh, look, Deidara's slapping you. And now he's kissing Sasori."

"Why didn't we make Deidara a fucking girl?"

"Because he'd kill us."

"You have a fucking point. Hey, is Itachi dancing?"

"That looks incredibly stupid."
"It does. Zetsu's cooking. I hope nobody is stupid enough to eat that. Wait, Kakuzu is. Why the fuck is Zetsu STILL cooking?"

"OH MY GOD! HE SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE!"

"CALL THE FUCKING FIRE BRIGADE! Oh, there's a fire alarm, they're already here! Shit, Kakuzu's dying! Wait, that's funny. HAHAHA! KAKUZU'S DYING!"

"Phew.. they put him out. It's not funny, Hidan! How would you like me to kill your sim?"

"Please don't! Hey, Kisame's stargazing. Nerd."

"Oh god."

"What the fucking hell? ALIENS?"

"When a guy gets abducted by aliens in this game, they get pregnant..."

"THE FUCK?"

"Oh look. You and Kakuzu are fighting."

"Where'd Deidara and Sasori go?"

"WooHooing."

"What?"

"Fucking."

"Oh..." This game was awesome! There was a knock on the door.

"Konan, have you seen Hidan? He's disappeared." Why did Pinocchio want to kno- OH MY GOD PLEASE SAY SIMS ISN'T LIKE REAL LIFE!

I screamed. Konan looked at me weirdly, and I pointed at the game. She burst out laughing.

"Sasori, come in. He's here." She said, through the laughter.

"The door is locked."

"Ok, hang on. Alohomora!" Since when is Konan a witch?

"Since when are you a fucking witch?"

"I'm not. The door has an automatic lock on it that unlocks when I say Alohomora." Sasori walked in as Konan finished talking. He immediately noticed the game.

"Can one of you tell me why weird versions of Deidara and myself are making that bed bounce around?" Those sims just could NOT stop fucking, could they? Seriously, this was getting kinda ridiculous.

"We're playing Sims, Pinocchio. We made everyone live in a house! And your sim is fucking weird. It made out with mine." Sasori looked at me oddly as Konan giggled.

"Where's Tobi's sim? I want to try and kill it. You can kill them, right?"

"Yeah, you can kill them."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME, KONAN?"

"Oh my god! Tobi's drowning!" Konan looked shocked. Sasori and me started laughing.

"That's fucking awesome! Hey, look! Everyone's running outside and watching! Zetsu's crying. Hah, loser. Everyone else is laughing. Holy shit, is that the grim reaper?"

"Can you make them have parties, Konan? Because I'd love to see them celebrate Tobi's death."

"We are NOT having a party to celebrate his death!"

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because it's cruel! Oh, look. Kakuzu set the house on fire again."

"Again? Did he set it on fire before I came in?"
"Yeah. Kakuzu's a shit cook on this. Hey, he's on fire again. Why are you trying to make my sim put him out? Run away, Sim-Me! Run!"

"Are me and Deidara still woohooing?"

"Yes, you are. I'm going to go talk to Pein, you two can keep playing if you want to." Konan left. I looked at Sasori. He looked at me.

"Where's Itachi and Kisame?"

"Kisame got abducted by aliens. Itachi's still fucking crying about it. Oh, look. There's Sharkboy!"

"Why is he rubbing his- oh. He got probed, didn't he?"

"Konan said something about guys getting knocked-up after they get abducted. That's messed up."

A few hours later...

"HOLY SHIT! KISAME HAD A BABY!" This game was AWESOME. Konan was pregnant with Pein's baby, Kisame had just given birth to a green-skinned kid, Itachi was streaking, Kakuzu had burnt to death, I was fucking some random chick who'd walked into our house, Zetsu had been electrocuted and died, and Sasori and Deidara were playing computer games. It was now nighttime.

"Hey, I thought Tobi, Zetsu and Kakuzu died."

"They did, idiot."

"Then how are they walking around?"

"Fucking hell! They are! Oh my Jashin, there are ghosts in this game!" Ghost-Tobi walked up to Pein and scared the life out of him. Literally. "FUCK! TOBI KILLED PEIN!"

"We are dead when Konan finds out that Pein's dead."

"Eh, it's just a fucking game. How do we get rid of these stupid ghosts?"

"I don't think we can. Hey, you should propose to that girl."

"Why?"

"Because it'll be funny if she rejects you."

"She won't! Look, I'll propose!"

"Wow. She didn't reject you. But now you're engaged."

"Noooooooo! Marriage is against my religion!"

"It is?"

"Only to non-Jashinists."

"Ah. Then just don't marry her."

"Good idea, Pinocchio!"

"Will you stop calling me that?"
"Nope!" It was daytime again. Deidara and Sasori were sunbathing.

"If you start fucking on the ground, I swear I'm gonna kill your sims."

"Is that even possible in this game?"

"Dunno. Ask Konan."

"She's still with Pein. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DEIDARAAAAAAAAAA!"

"HOLY SHIT! WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?"

Something had fallen from the sky and crushed Deidara. Hah! Loser! He was dead now!

"Noooo..." Sasori began to cry.

Downstairs, no PoV

Deidara was working on a clay sculpture of Sasori, when he heard a yell. Sasori's yell.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DEIDARAAAAAAAAAA!"

"What the hell, un?"

"HOLY SHIT! WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?"
"So Hidan's with Sasori now? Guess I should go kill him." Kakuzu said, nastily.

"Don't you dare, Kakuzu. They're in my room." Konan warned the money-lover. She was a little protective of her room.

"I'm going to go see why Sasori yelled my name, un." Deidara was confused. Why would his Danna yell his name like that?

"Your sim probably got killed." Deidara blinked.

"My WHAT got killed?"

"Sim. They're playing The Sims 2."

"What's that, Konan-sama? Can Tobi play?" Tobi always HAD to get involved in everything. Madara found it funny.

"I'm interested in this too." Itachi spoke up. Konan gave him an odd look. So did Kisame.

"It's a game where you make little people, and you control them. Hidan and Sasori are controlling the Akatsuki at the moment. When I left, Kisame had been abducted by aliens and Tobi had drowned."

"I was ABDUCTED by aliens? What the hell, Konan?"

"And in this game, if a male is abducted by aliens, they come back pregnant." This had the entire Akatsuki (that were in the room) laughing.

"Why was Tobi drowned? Tobi is a good boy! He can swim fine!"

"I accidently deleted the pool ladder so you were trapped in the pool."

"Konan, you killed Tobi on purpose, didn't you?" Even Pein seemed interested in the game now.

"Maybe... Let's go upstairs and play."

Hidan PoV

Sasori's been crying over Deidara's death for the last 5 minutes. Seriously, he's pathetic. Konan's about to give birth, and nobody else really cares. Itachi's having a bath, Kisame's taking care of his baby, and I was sleeping. Nothing interesting. Suddenly, the rest of the REAL Akatsuki burst in through the door, just as Konan began to give birth. They froze as they heard Sim-Konan's yells.

"HIDAN! WHO GOT ME PREGNANT?" Real Konan glared at me.

"Er, Pein did."

"There was a sim of me? Where is he?"

"Tobi's ghost scared you to death, Leader-sama."

"Where's my sim? Or did you not make one of me?"

"You got electrocuted when you were trying to fix the TV, Zetsu. Tobi drowned, Deidara was crushed by some weird satellite or something, and Kakuzu set himself on fire and burnt to death."

"Danna, danna are you OK, un?" We all glanced at Sasori. He'd passed out at some point.

"Kisame, wake him up." Pein ordered. Kisame grinned, and smacked Sasori over the head with Samehada.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? I'LL MAKE YOU INTO SUSHI!" Sasori jumped up and pulled out his bladey things that were on his back. Kisame hid behind Itachi.

"Itachi, make him stop! PLEASE!" Wait, did Shark-boy actually say please?

"Sasori. Pein ordered him to wake you up." Itachi always had to ruin the fun!

"Grrrr, fine. Why did I pass out, anyway?" Pinocchio was pissed. He's weird.

"You were in shock that Barbie got killed. Hahaha, loser. Hey, Konan, you had twins. Whatcha gonna call them? One's a boy and one's a girl."

"Um... Aoi and Sora." (AN: Not very imaginative of me, but Aoi means Blue and Sora means Sky. They're also the names of filler characters.)

"Where's my sim, Hidan? Or did he die too?" said Kisame. I wonder what he tastes like? And no, I'm not turning into Zetsu – Kisame's a fish.

"Nah, you're looking after your kid, Kisame. You got abducted and raped by aliens. Itachi cried the entire fucking time!"

"WHAT?" Kisame looked really freaked out at the thought of a kid.

"Look, there he is. Baby Sushi."

"You named my kid SUSHI?" Wait, I thought he didn't want a kid.

"Yup! Can I kill it?"

"No!"
"Er, Hidan? What's that beeping noise?" Pein asked, looking at the screen. Itachi had started cooking, and had set the house on fire.

"Oh great, Kakuzu the second. OW! DON'T HIT ME YOU OLD FART! FUCK YOU!"

"Shut up Hidan." Old miser.

"Hidan, I'd like it if you could stop me from burning to death. Sasori's on fire, too. Oh, and Konan. And now Kisame as well... You're going to have to look after all three kids at this rate..."

"Hidan! Give Tobi the mouse! Tobi will call the fire brigade! Tobi is a good boy!"

"They're already there, you retard! They just can't get in. Dammit, why did I let fucking Sasori do the decorations! Pinocchio forgot to put a gate in!

"Hey, look, Sim-Hidan's on fire too!"

"Nooooo!"

Eventually, all the sims died except the babies, who were taken away by social services. They could somehow walk through walls. Fucking weird. We were all stunned into silence.

"I can't believe Itachi killed everyone."Sasori muttered, glaring at the Uchiha.

"Not the first time he's done that, un." Itachi glared at Deidara.

"Shut. Up. Blondie."

"Fuck off, Uchiha bastard!"

"Magen-"

"Itachi! Deidara! Stop fighting! It's a game. Which Hidan is not very good at." Pein interrupted. I glared at him.

"It's not my fault Sasori is too much of a retard to put in a fucking gate! Now I'm going to go sacrifice something to Jashin-sama. I forgot to do my ritual this morning."

"Oh great, more blood on our floor."

"Shut up, old man. Go take your medication or something."

"Why you-!"

END CH. 2

Holy shiiiiit. This is over 3000 words long. And 6 pages in Word. I started writing it the DAY after I posted the first chapter, and I'm only just finishing it 3 days later.

Hey, did you notice that the post date for the story is 6-9-2011? Hehe. 69. Sorry...

I wonder if there is a way to make the dates show as, for instance, 13-6-2011. I've never used the American style, and I hate it. It's confusing.

Deidara: Why were some of us hardly in this, un?

Oh god. Here we go again.

Deidara: Answer me, un!

Fine! I forgot about some of you. I tried, at least.

Deidara: You did? Hey, wanna see my art?

Only if it's outside.

Deidara: It is! KATSU!

Hidan: DEIDARAAAA!

Deidara: I forgot he was doing a ritual...

Hidan: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BARBIE!

Deidara: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, UN? KATSU!

They even manage to fight in the AN! STOP IT YOU TWO!

...

They stopped? Phew. Oh, no, wait, I can hear them in the background. Oh well.

Anyway, review and I'll give you one of Tobi's masks.

Deidara: And if you don't, I'll make you into my art, un!