AN: Hello everyone! Please hang in there with me for this chapter. It's not as long as the last one and it is from Edwards point of view. I felt like you needed to get a little of what he is going through before Bella wakes up and we find out what happens with that. I promise I will write that chapter asap!Thank you to everyone who read, it does my heart good! I want to especially thank my first and only reviewer of this story trinalovesvamps. Thank you! You were the reason I continued this story in the first place. I tried to give you a small part in this story as a gift. Please enjoy the story everyone =)

Disclaimer: I won nothing blah blah blah.

Epov

"It 's your choice son"…

Those words echoed in my head as I watched Bella start to twitch. The Venom was starting to take its course through her body. Soon she would be one of us. I could not bear to watch her in so much pain. I would come back when the screaming started. I would be there for her, but right now, I needed a moment to myself. I walked over to a bench across the hall from Carlisle's office, my mind a blur of thoughts and regret.

How had things gotten this bad? Oh, that's right, they got this way when I left.

If I lived a thousand years, I would never forgive myself for leaving Bella. I left her to save her. I could see her future, and it scared me. I saw her wasting her life away with me, refusing to move on as she aged and changed. She would give up the chance to have a real life, and children, In favor of being with me. Another and more likely future, that haunted me every day I was with her, was the possibility that she might not get the chance to get old and die. She tried hard to keep up with my world, and I could see that it was taking its toll on her. I knew that someday, and due to my family's past and her luck, someday soon, she would slip and I wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces. Therefore, I did the only thing that I could do. I left her. I had hoped that if I left, she would be safe.

I didn't know what it would do to me.

I couldn't stand being in my home. Her scent clung to my room, a perfume that refused to fade. Her memory was etched in everything I owned. I couldn't play the piano without seeing her sweet face, I couldn't listen to my cds without feeling her in my arms. Every time I picked up a book, I thought about what she would say about it. I sank into a deep depression, and nothing and no one could drag me out of it. I was forced by my family to hunt, but I took no pleasure in it. I had left my heart with Bella. Then, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, My worst fears were confirmed, and my world was shattered. Even now, as I sat in the old hospital, I could hear Alice's blood-curdling scream, see the horror on her face, and hear the words I had dreaded for so long. My Bella was dead.

I had tried to kill myself, but my family had stopped me. They claimed that Bella wouldn't have wanted me to end myself just because she was gone. Reluctantly I agreed. I lived my so-called 'life' to the best of my abilities. I tried to move on, and I failed miserably. I finally got the courage to come to Forks, to face the ghosts of my past, and say the goodbye that was left unspoken. I had never thought about what Bella had done in my absence. I had naively assumed that she would have just moved on to a human and forgotten all about the supernatural world around her. I should have known better. When I saw her there, pregnant, the shock had struck me at my core. She really had moved on. It appeared that she didn't need me as much as I needed her, that she could survive without me. I would have let her move on, and I would have watched over her quietly through her life, silently loving her from a distance. It seemed that fate would not let that happen.

My beautiful Bella's luck had never changed. Even something as simple as a car ride home, was too much to handle. I don't know what caused the accident, but I thank whatever higher power there is that I was in the area when it did. When I saw her trapped in that car, I knew that I had come back for a reason, that she still needed me, even if it was just to save her. I regret not being able to save 'Jake'. At the thought of the Shifter, I gave a small bitter smile. Leave it to Bella to pick the most dangerous thing around her to be her companion. I choked a bit at the thought of Bella with someone else. It hurt to picture her smiling at another man, kissing him….she was pregnant with his child. It burned in a way that my hunger never could compare to. I would never get the image of her screaming for him out of my head, no matter how long I lived. What else could I have done? It was two lives, both the woman I loved and the child she carried, or jakes.

As if sensing my inner turmoil, Alice called me. "Yes?" I asked anxiously awaiting news of Bella's new love.

"I'm sorry Edward; he was dead before I even got there. It looks like he was knocked unconscious by the fall and then he drowned." She said her voice full of angst.

"And Bella?" I asked anxiously, knowing that my sister would be able to tell me how this would turn out.

"Edward. She will wake up when she wakes up. I can't tell when because her body is changing so much. I can tell you that you will not want to be around her when she does." She said seriously. It was a warning. I knew I couldn't do that. Rage at my own stupidity boiled in my blood. I hung up and threw the small phone against the wall across from me, shattering it into a million pieces. I was grateful at that moment that Carlisle had donated enough money to the hospital to have his own wing. No one would walk in on me. I hung my head in my hands.

Bella would never forgive me.

I sat there for hours, listening to Bella's racing heartbeat and the faint moans of pain coming from the other room. Bella still had a long way to go. She would be reborn, and rise from the ashes like a phoenix. At the thought of rebirth, a thought occurred to me. What would become of Bella's baby? She would live with us of course, but what future could the child have? Constantly moving to avoid detection, aging in a way her mother never would. It would be a hard life.

I got up, walked down to the maternity ward, and looked at the infants in the other room. Celeste was beautiful, perfect in every way. Her light skin was slightly tan, a trait from her father. She had a beautiful full head of hair dark black and curly, and her eyes were open. They were a perfect replica of Bella's. I loved her instantly. Suddenly I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to watch her take her first steps, to hear her say her first word. I wanted to teach her how to play the piano, to help her learn how to ride a bike, to kiss her knee when she got a scrape, to walk her to her first day of kindergarten, to threaten her first date. I wanted to be a father. Before that moment, I had never wanted children. I know that Rosalie and Esme were regularly pained by the fact that they would never have children, but it was never something that I felt I lost. I was a young boy when I was turned, and after that I saw no reason to mourn something that wasn't even possible for me. Therefore, I never mourned the loss… Until now. I wanted it desperately, and I knew that Bella would not let me within miles of the miracle in the incubator. I must have been wrapped up in my thoughts, because I did not sense the nurse watching me until she spoke.

"Beautiful aren't they?" said a nurse beside me.

"Yes they are." I said in awe, still dealing with my revelation.

"Which one's yours? " She asked with a smile, clearly, she was used to fathers coming to the nursery.

I hesitated for a moment. I had no right to claim Celeste. She was not mine, and yet I did anyway.

"The one in the third row on the end." I said softly and I pointed to Celeste with a small smile.

"She's a beauty. You may be young, but I saw the way you looked at her. You're going to be a great father. Congratulations." She said brightly. She told me a little about childcare of newborn as we looked at the babies for a moment. I was grateful for the knowledge and the kindness that this nurse showed a complete stranger. It was rare. I made a mental note to see if there was anything we could do for her later.

"Hey Trina, We need you over here!" Another nurse, her friend I assumed by the nickname, called her.

"Duty calls. Good luck" she said cheerfully and she gave me a little wave before going on to her duties.

That brought me back to reality. Here I was moping and thinking of all the what ifs, the 'should have beens' and mistakes of the past, when I should have been taking care of Bella. I walked up to Carlisle's wing of the hospital with new found purpose, not caring anymore of what Bella would think when she woke up. She needed me now, and for once in my sorry existence, I would be there when she needed me. I walked to her side and sat opposite of Carlisle.

"How is she?" I asked brushing the sweat off of her forehead.

"She is holding up relatively well. She has not screamed and so far, and the only side effects are the tremors and an occasional moan." He said quietly.

"How far along is she?" I asked, unable to judge by the way she moved or breathed.

"Quite far actually, she is progressing much faster than most vampires that I have seen. She should be fully transformed in just over another day." He said with surprise in his voice.

"Do you think I did the right thing?" I asked.

"Son, I think you did the only thing you could do. She has a child that will need her, you still love her, and our family needs her." He said putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"But what about what she wants?" I asked tortured. I had taken her will from her.

"Edward. Do you really think that she would want to leave her child alone in this world?" He asked looking into my eyes.

"No. Bella would never want that for her child." I said resigned. I wouldn't know what she wanted until she woke up.

"I'm going to take her home." I told him gently picking Bella up and cradling her to my chest.

"Alright, Esme and Alice are busy making a room for her. My office has just been moved to the attic..at least that's what Alice announced when she called me." He said mirthfully. And for the first time in a long time, I smiled.

…..

The two days of Bella's transformation were grueling. I never left her side. Not to hunt, or even to see her child. Carlisle had arranged it so that we could take Celeste home with us. We had claimed that she had died during childbirth, and that it was a result of the car accident that Jake had caused. Their funeral was supposed to be today. Vaguely I could hear Rosalie and Esme cooing over the baby as they fed her. The action warmed my heart, or at least it would have it my heart could be warmed.

Even in her sleep Bella had brought life back into the house. The girls were all excited about having her and the baby in the house, and they had enjoyed making a nursery for Celeste and a room for Bella. Emmet and Jasper now laughed and roughhoused as they once had, before our family crumbled at the seams. We were complete again…almost. Aside from my nagging fears and worries, I felt better. Just being near Bella made my spirits rise.

I was broken out of my thoughts and musings by a short gasp by Bella. Her whole body contorted on the table and she let out an Agonizing scream. It rang out through the house, a sign to everyone that she was going to wake up, and then she fell completely still on the table. Her heart pounded slowly, once….twice…and finally it stopped. Everything was still, and then she opened her eyes...

AN: Thanks for hanging in there, I know Edward was a little whiny and oh, woe is me, but it was necessary to further the story. Please read and review!