Tracy: Ahh yay! I'm so excited to be updating, I'm totally loving this story, and it's going to get way intense. Nothing better than writing with my favorite girl about my favorite girls! I hope you guys are enjoying this so far, I'm having a blast writing it. I love our somewhat tragic characters. Anyway, I don't really have much to say, so, enjoy!
Kelsey Rose: Blame the late update on me, folks. I just got finished with a production this past weekend, so I was swamped. That, coupled with a concert yesterday, and sudden sickness, hasn't helped. Buuut… tonight proved to be a very inspirational one. So, yay! I'm happy.
Two weeks later, things were back to normal, and yet, everything had changed. Brenda had discovered that she was pregnant, and, in turn, Velma had not-so-subtly told her that there was no place for her or her growing stomach on the show. Though it had been a surprise, it hadn't come to any of them as a particular shock. Brenda had been tempting fate for far too long with her careless ways, and it had only been a matter of time until one of the morons she was sleeping with managed to knock her up. The thing of it, though, was that it wasn't just some moron who had managed to do it; it was Corny.
Naturally, Brenda's empty position had garnered a large crowd of girls who wanted to audition, and, for whatever reason, Corny had chosen that Turnblad girl, and Amber believed that the entire show was now on its way to Hell in a hand basket. She had already captured the attention of Link, and the girls were less than happy about her sudden intrusion. Amber could pretend to care, and sneered and whispered horrible things behind Tracy's back, if only to keep up appearances. She knew that her relationship with Link had been over for quite some time, and she was too caught up in her relationships with Shelley and Corny to care about losing what little was left of his affections.
It wasn't to say that Amber was heartbroken over the fact that Corny had impregnated Brenda. More than anything, she felt slightly betrayed. Yes, she was involved with Shelley and Corny at the same time, and didn't feel a particular devotion to either of them over the other, but this was an entirely different matter. Corny was attached to her now, whether or not Brenda kept the baby (which Amber highly doubted she would) and he would always have that. Brenda would always refer to him as 'the man who ruined her life' or something to the like, and what did that leave for Amber? A man who had impregnated a teenage girl and succeeded in getting her removed from his television show, that's what. An old man who wasn't ready to mature despite the fact that he was at least twice the age of the students on the show. That was definitely not what Amber wanted to spend her nights with.
The studio had been abuzz with the news of Brenda, and Amber had barely had a chance to talk to Corny about it. Not that there was going to be much talking going on, at least not on her side of the conversation. She had been sleeping with him for over three months now, and never once had he discussed Brenda, or his relationship with her. There had been no doubt in her mind that he was sleeping with her; Brenda made that painfully clear to everyone around her, and Corny went through no great lengths to hide it, either, unlike his relationship with Amber. When she had once questioned him about the brunette girl, he had simply told Amber that she was his favorite, and that she didn't need to worry. He had appeased her, if only for the moment, and she had accepted his words as an easy truth.
Tammy and Lou Ann couldn't seem to get enough on the topic of conversation. At lunch, Amber found herself immersed in the world of Brenda and Corny, in their whirlwind 'romance', and the latest rumors they'd heard. Unlike Shelley, neither of the girls seemed to pick up on subtle clues, and seemed to have no idea that she and Corny were actually involved. She laughed sardonically with them at Brenda's misfortune, and joined them in calling Corny a pervert, a cradle-robber, sometimes worse. She found no shame in calling the man one thing behind his back, and sighing his name lovingly to his face.
On the day she had confronted him, however, she had told herself would not falter. Amber refused to back down from this inevitable confrontation that would occur between them, and had no intention of allowing him to lull her into a false sense of comfort again. That had worked one time, and she had vowed that it would be the last. Amber Von Tussle was no idiot, and she would not let herself be treated like one.
She had caught him by the arm after the show one afternoon, managing to avoid the suspicious glares of the council members and making a conscious effort to dodge Shelley's gaze. Her fingers had brushed the elbows of his suit jacket, and he turned his head to look at her, his blue eyes catching on hers.
"We need to talk." Her voice was cool and collected; she had practiced it to be just that way, and kept her gaze steady on him. He nodded twice, wordlessly taking her hand and leading her to his dressing room, her fingernails consciously digging into his palm as they walked, remaining silent until he had closed the door behind them and turned to look at her, watching her somewhat remorsefully as he stood.
"Were you going to tell me?" She knew that her words may be taken as slightly defensive, but she wouldn't pretend to care. She dug her fingernails into the sides of her hips, locking her gaze on him. She wanted to say more, but knew that an excess of words would make her seem suspicious, or even desperate, so she pursed her lips together, bringing her eyebrows and nose into a crunch that she was sure made her look all the more intimidating.
"Of course I was," his voice was smooth and soft, even in the face of confrontation. He moved slightly closer to her, his long fingers moving up to slide over her shoulders, then the back of her neck, rubbing the muscles there. She shrugged out of his touch, glaring at him with icy cold eyes.
"Don't touch me," she spit at him, "I'm not going to end up like her."
He seemed slightly put-off by her sudden withdrawal, and crossed his arms over his chest then, watching her with raised eyebrows as if she were a child having a temper tantrum.
"Okay," he allowed her to push him away, and then shook his head slowly, "You're not going to end up like her, Amber, I can promise you that."
She shook her head hatefully at him, keeping her gaze narrowed.
"You can't promise that. You can't promise anything, Corny. All you can do is make someone feel good for a few hours, and then kick them down from that pedestal you've put yourself up on." She flicked him away with her fingers, taking several steps away from him. "You get off on taking advantage of teenage girls; making them think they're beautiful and then throwing them out with the trash. That's sick, Corny. That's fucking pathetic."
Corny's eyes flashed suddenly, and he closed the space between them, letting his hand reach out to pull gently at a lock of her blonde hair.
"No," he chided her gently, shaking his head slowly, the corners of his mouth turned into a serious frown. "No, Amber, that's not it. You've got it all wrong."
"Do I?" She challenged him, her eyes glistening, "Because I seem to know you pretty damn well."
"Not well enough, apparently," he was closer to her now, his hands cupping her face, "You're different from them, okay? You're different from Brenda, or any of the other girls, Amber."
"Different?" She laughed the word, throwing it back at him, "And what makes me so different?"
"Because," he answered softly, his gaze locked on hers, "You don't need me to make you beautiful. You're beautiful all on your own."
She scoffed loudly at him, using her hand to slap his fingers away from her.
"Please. You expect me to believe that? There aren't enough shovels in the world to clean up all of your bullshit." She hissed the words at him, her eyes sharp as daggers. "I'm not a complete idiot, Corny. You think I don't know that I'm not the only one that you fuck around with? How many of us are there, huh?" She pretended to count on her fingers, and he watched her calmly, sighing softly as her voice rose. "Let's see… now that Brenda's out of the running, what's that leave, four, five of us?"
He sighed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes melodramatically at her.
"No, Amber."
"What then?" She demanded sharply, moving forward only enough to poke a fingernail against his chest, "More?" She sneered at him, her lips curling in disgust. "Tell me, you asshole."
"Amber," his voice was gentle enough to calm a stormy sea. He reached out for her hands, and she struggled against him for a moment, his fingers curling around her own finally, encasing her hands and holding them gently. "Amber, listen to me. It doesn't matter, okay?"
"It does matter!" She felt the tears burning the back of her eyes, narrowing them into watery slits. It mattered to her, though she would never say those words aloud. It mattered that he whispered those same sweet words into the ears of multiple girls, mattered that he touched them in the same way he touched her, gave them the same pleasure he gave her. It mattered, whether he realized it or not.
"No, it doesn't," he soothed her, succeeding in pulling her closer to him, his arms now slipping around her slender waist, holding her while she seethed in his embrace, her face burning red with indignation. "And you know why it doesn't matter?"
She didn't answer him; she refused to answer him, or to give him any clue that he was slowly gaining the upper hand in this fight, and turned her face away from him, her lips unconsciously slipping into the pout that she had become famous for.
"It doesn't matter," he urged her on gently, "because none of them are as special as you are. None of them have what we have, okay? They're just time-killers, that's all they are."
She kept her face away from him, clenching her teeth together. She hated this; hated knowing that he was slowly winning this battle, and that nothing she could do or say now would stop that from happening. She hated knowing that just beyond this door, Shelley was standing, though not necessarily waiting or expecting her, just there. There, where she knew that even the tiniest part of her heart was, right out there with her. Still, she couldn't give into that nearly overwhelming desire to tell him that, or to say that she wanted him to be hers and only hers, because she wasn't completely sure that was what she wanted. She simply wanted to know that he would be here, when she needed or wanted him, and that she wouldn't have to fight her way through a mob of girls to get to his dressing room.
"Time-killers?" She echoed his words, "Is that what I am, a time-killer?"
"No," he corrected her quickly, shaking his head, "I just told you, no. That's what they are. That's them, not you, Amber."
She didn't try to struggle from his embrace now, and lifted her head, letting their eyes connect.
"What time are they killing?" She knew it was perverse, ridiculous, even, to allow herself to be treated like this. To know that she was only one of many, and that she was no more special to him than any of the other girls. Besides, Amber was involved with Shelley as well as with Corny, and she was more than just a time-killer. She was, in fact, more of a time-filler. Amber found herself seeking Shelley out at least a few times a week, desperate for that contact between them, even when it turned out to be less than pleasant.
A tight smirk pressed across his lips and he lowered his head, letting his lips just barely brush her temple.
"All the time I can't be with you," he almost whispered his reply to her, letting himself gaze into her icy eyes, "There. Are you happy now?"
She kept her gaze locked on his, and let him brush his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, let herself surrender to the man that she had vowed never to touch again; the man who had single-handedly brought down the force field she'd surrounded herself with. She felt his fingers reach up to tangle in her hair, already beginning to pull the bobby pins from her golden strands, and she didn't resist him.
He began to drag the zipper at the back of her dress down, silently pushing the dress from her smooth shoulders as his mouth found the hollow spot at the base of her throat and began to kiss her there lightly. She wanted to tell him no, that she was anything but happy; she had, in fact, never been unhappier in her life.
"I hate you," she whispered the words to him, even as the tips of his fingers pressed against her jaw line and his lips traveled up the soft skin of her neck, finding their place just below her earlobe.
"You don't," he answered her gently, his breath tickling her ear, "You could never hate me." They were exactly the same words she'd heard from Shelley once before, and the almost distant memory left goose bumps running over her skin, a cold, empty feeling encompassing her suddenly.
She opened her mouth to protest, and his lips crashed over hers, capturing her in a deep kiss before pulling back and letting his fingers slip down her body.
She sighed his name and let herself pretend that this was the way it was supposed to be.
Shelley had actually debated following Amber into Corny's dressing room, just to prove that her suspicions weren't faulty. In spite of this, something held her back. There was this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her not to go there, that she was better than that. She wasn't about to walk in on what she presumed to be a 'tender' moment between that man and Amber. Shelley rolled her eyes and crossed her slender arms over her chest. Amber could continue her child's play in bed with him all day for as much as she cared.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Link, waving off some of the other Council Girls and walking side-by-side with that new girl, Tracy Turnblad. The sight of those two together made her stomach churn. Link had seriously lowered his standards to the point where Shelley was almost insulted. She narrowed her eyes and cringed at how that girl was smiling and talking so intently with him. For someone so new to the show, she really hadn't learned her place yet.
When at last Tracy left Link, Shelley pursed her lips and scoffed. Link caught her threatening stare and casually wandered over towards her.
"Why do you look so pissed?" He asked frankly, his voice showing just how little his interest in her answer was. Shelley almost laughed. For such an alleged heartthrob, he was certainly ignorant, but she had always known that.
"Your vision must be seriously disturbed," She replied sharply, her blue eyes rolling in disgust. Link raised an eyebrow at her. He thought quietly to himself for a moment, and then smirked somewhat.
"God, Shelley, I always knew you were the jealous type, but this is just a little sad," Link brushed his fingers over his hair, smoothing down one patch of it. Shelley narrowed her eyes even further and curled her fingers tightly against her arms.
"Larkin, watch your mouth," She hissed lowly, her features dark with contempt. "If I were jealous, a beached whale wouldn't be my first choice." Jesus, she hated boys. They were so juvenile and ridiculously obnoxious. If they would just use that organ two or so feet past the space between their legs, perhaps they would be more practical for Shelley's taste.
Link kept himself from rolling her eyes. He wasn't like her. However mature she thought that she was, he knew better. He wasn't about to act like a child just because she was. After all, she did break up with him, not vice versa, and, to him, that said it all.
"You are so completely predictable, Shelley," He sighed, exasperated. "You and Amber both."
"Do not compare me to her!" Shelley retorted, a certain fire rising in her eyes. Link stared at her, a bit put off. He shook his head, considered his words carefully for a couple of seconds longer, and then leaned closer to her.
"All right, Shelley, I get it. But, do us both a favor, and just shut up for once, and listen to me for a second, okay?" Link shot back, causing Shelley's eyes to widen in an angry and surprised fashion. She was about to pitch a pissy objection, but he stealthily grasped her by the wrist and put his lips near one of her ears. "She'll bring good ratings to the show. You and I both know that that never hurt anything," He paused, smirking. "Shelley, we've been here longer than most of the Council, we know what rakes in the cash at the end of the day. So, a girl like Tracy may be it; just grit your teeth and bare it."
"Don't pretend like you're so smart," She glared, swiftly yanking her arm away. "I'm not a moron, Link. I know what Corny's trying to prove here," because he obviously didn't bring her on the show to sleep with her. That was just downright disgusting, and Shelley shuddered at the thought of it. "He wants colored people on the show, and, I don't know, I guess that starts by some… fat girl taking over," She shrugged her shoulders, and Link frowned. He paused for a moment, and then looked at her seriously.
"Do you honestly think she's any competition for you?" He asked, and Shelley's mouth hung open for a few seconds.
"Of course not," She snapped, obviously offended. Shelley knew that her only real competition was Amber, but she wasn't about to go around admitting that, or anything. The other Council Members knew. They weren't blind to the constant fights that the pair of them had. "If anyone should be worried, it should be the Von Tussles, for obvious reasons; Corny, for inevitably condemning his whole show to hell; and you, for fucking up that so-called flawless reputation of yours by associating with that thing, girl, or what the hell ever."
Shelley and Link shared a heated stare for what seemed like hours with neither side giving up. His lips seemed permanently turned downward, while her nose and forehead were scrunched up angrily into a scowl.
"And you would know all about 'bad' reputations, wouldn't you, Shelley?" He said menacingly, a glare, for the first time in this entire conversation, settling on his features.
"Don't start with me," She knocked three of her fingers roughly into his shoulder and moved past him, sneering viciously. They kept their backs to one another, until Link glanced over his shoulder.
"Start what?" He wondered harmlessly, his eyebrows lowered against his forehead. Shelley balled her fists tightly at her sides, and then turned around to face him again. She lifted one of her hands and pointed her index finger at him accusingly.
"Oh, like you're one to talk. Go back to your street corner, and leave me the fuck alone," Shelley countered, her mind racing suddenly, rendering her genuinely stupid comeback-wise. The fact that Amber and Corny were behind that closed door just a few feet away from her pissed her off more than anyone would ever know, and Link had snipped that final nerve with his unnecessary persistence.
"Real original, Shelley," Link shoved his hands into his pockets and watched her in silent amusement. He remembered this part of her: brash, loud, unforgiving, and, as icing on the cake, vastly unoriginal. Shelley's lips curled back into a snarl.
"Is there any point to this, or do you just rattle my cage for the hell of it?" Shelley hated him for doing this to her. He got her so riled up, and for nothing.
"It's fun to see how easily you lose your cool," He shrugged his shoulders again, and she groaned in sheer annoyance.
"You are so beyond childish," She spat, swatting one of his hands away.
"And, as you said before: you're one to talk."
Shelley knew she couldn't win this pointless, and all-around stupid fight against him. He was just toying with her now, and that wasn't right. That was her job.
"Move," She commanded, taking a step towards him, her eyes dark and hostile. She fucking dared him to try anything else. Still, Link stayed where he was, his eyes gazing down at her coolly. After a moment of intense glaring, she attempted to shove him out of her way, but to no avail. "Are you deaf? I said move," Shelley repeated, though far more threateningly this time. Link merely smirked and brushed his fingers over her arms. "Don't touch me, Larkin. I'm not above castrating you in front of the entire damn studio."
"You wouldn't," He said, clearly unconvinced, and too busy messing with the collar of her dress to care.
"I would," Shelley glared and roughly slapped his hand away again. "You're old news. I don't deal with used goods."
"Funny," He considered her, his expression unreadable to her, for once.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"Let's see," A smirk played on his lips. "What about Amber?"
Shelley's face almost fell. Honestly, if it weren't for the fact that her eyes were already looking away from him, she would have completely lost her composure.
Did he actually know something? An absolute idiot like him?
"Excuse me?" She rejoined, her voice nearly quivering with shock and, above all else, extreme and sudden anxiety.
"You two seem close enough. Acquaintances, maybe," He tilted his head slightly. "It's funny, but… I seem to remember you saying something about taking out the trash and distancing yourself from people you didn't think were 'good enough' for you."
Shelley breathed. Link was such a little prick, scaring her like that. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and she felt sick to her stomach; however, on the outside, she looked as composed as ever, with her chin tilted upward somewhat, as it always was.
"That is none of your business," She narrowed her eyes at him once again, and tried to move past him, only to have him grab her by the shoulders gently.
"So, maybe it's not. Whatever," He looked at her, debating how he was going to say what he wanted to next. "Look, my point is: You are seriously fucking yourself over with this, Shelley. You're playing a game that you just can't win. Not all of us are cut out for this dog-eat-dog world, you know? I'm just counting down the days until you finally screw with the wrong person," The way that he talked to her so smugly made her nauseous, and that smirk hidden beneath his fake smile only made her even more sick to her stomach. She seriously had to swallow to keep herself from throwing up.
"You," She pushed the palm of her hand violently against his chest, while she kept her voice at a low and scornful whisper. "are a serious load of bullshit, Link. And you know what? I hope you enjoy screwing around with that fat cow, because maybe then you'll actually get some character."
Link remained silent and just stared back at her, his eyes dim with something she would be lying to herself if she said she didn't recognize. Shelley's lips were pressed tightly together and curved into the nastiest of sneers. It was a typical expression for her, though only for people so lucky as him, unfortunately.
The staring match was relentless, and Shelley found herself curious to glance over at Corny's dressing room door. She anticipated that Amber would walk out at any moment, but, at the same time, willed herself not to care as much as she honestly did. When she swore that she saw Link move, she almost recoiled, a revolted look on her face.
"Don't you dare kiss me," She snarled, her eyebrows furrowing furiously. Link smirked, his fingers creeping upwards to cup the underside of her chin forcefully. "I swear to God, Link, I'll kill y—"
It was a sub-conscience decision, really. At the sound of Corny's dressing room door opening, Shelley didn't even bother to argue anymore. She kissed him fiercely, her fingers digging into his hair as she kept his lips pressed firmly against hers. It was at that moment that she knew where she was going with this, where her mind was abruptly leading her. Shelley could beat Amber at her own little whore games.
She would show her just how much she wasn't needed, and how fine she was without her. Shelley was independent, and she wasn't about to have some doting blonde thinking that she had her wrapped around her little finger. Oh, God no. It was always the other way around. Always.
When Shelley pulled back from him, he looked as haughty as anything.
"So much for high standards, right, Shel?"
Now she really wished she had opted to bite his tongue. And hard.
"You wish you were right," Shelley wiped her mouth just below her bottom lip with her thumb. He had always been such a sloppy kisser. He had made her into such a good actress over the years; if only he would come off his vanity cloud to take any notice. "I don't need you. I never have, and I never will," She snapped at him in a whisper and shouldered past, her head held high. As she began to walk away, he stood there, taking what she said into playful and comical consideration.
"Want and need are two totally different things, darlin'," Link replied with sarcastic, sugary sweetness. Shelley could practically feel the acids rising up in her throat again, for the thousandth time.
Want was the easy part of the equation; it was the need that left her dumbfounded.