I forgot to mention the last chapter, this story will be in Cartman's POV unless otherwise stated. As usual, R&R! Enjoy!

Chapter 1

I arrive at the bar and Patti is already there looking fine as ever. She has on a skin tight pink dress with a pair of 5 inch pumps. Her hair and makeup is done right. As I get closer to her, I can even smell her perfume. I'm ready to skip the date and take her back to my place.

"Hey you sexy thing!" I hug her from behind.

She turns around. "Oh it's you. I thought it was some perv trying to hit on me."

"Come on now, if I were hitting on you, you would know it." I wink.

She frowns. "Well aren't you going to sit down?"

I sit down next to her. "So what are you drinking?"

"Mango margarita."

"Too fruity. You need to get a real drink."

She laughs. "What do you recommend?"

"How about a shot of tequila?" I recommend.

She shrugs. "Sure!"

I ask the bartender for six shots of tequila. "Why so many?" Patti inquires.

"That way I don't have to keep asking the bartender to bring more." I tell her as the bartender sets down the shots. I hand one to Patti and pick up one and raise the glass.

She downs the shot and grimaces. "I don't really like it."

"It's better than that pussy margarita you're drinking."

"Oh whatever!"

I take another shot. "Anyway," I gaze into her eyes, "I'm glad you decided to go out with me. I've liked you since 4th grade."

"Yeah I know..."

I take another shot. "So tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want to tell me!"

She shrugs. "'Maybe I don't what you to know anything..."

"Oh come on! I know you don't want to sit here in silence!" Since she wants to play games, I'm going to ask her something to really put her on the spot. "What do you look for in a man?"

She turns about 5 shades of red. "Do I really need to answer that?"

I nod. "I gave you a chance to tell me something about you, so now I'll just ask what I want to know."

She sighs. "I don't know Cartman."

"You don't know what you're looking for in a man?" I take another shot. I'm starting to feel a little dizzy, but I ignore that feeling.

"Well I like nice guys. Guys that are really sweet and sensitive. Also a cute face and a hot body." She blushes again at that last part.

"Sounds like you just described me, minus the sweet and sensitive part!"

"Uh huh..." She looks away.

"I can be sweet and sensitive, if that's what you want." I start rubbing her thigh.

She quickly moves my hand. "Let's keep our hands to ourselves Cartman."

"Oh come on Patti, I'm sure you've been on dates before. The guy wines and dines you, then we either go back to your place or mine and fuck!"

She scowls. "First of all, we're at a bar! Where's the wining and dining? Second, I'm not fucking you!"

"You know you want to!"

"No I don't!"

"Then why did you agree to go out with me?"

She shrugs. "I thought since I've been so cruel to you in the past, I would go ahead and give you a chance. Big mistake on my part!"

"It doesn't have to be..." I put my hand on her thigh again.

She pushes my hand away. "Oh God, you're disgusting!"

"So I'm guessing you don't want to come back to my place?"

She grabs her drink and throws it on me. "What does that tell you?"

I grab her and pull her into a kiss. After struggling for a minute she manages to push me away, then punches me.

"Pig! Maybe next time, you'll learn no means no!"

She storms off. I touch my lip and notice blood on my fingers. I take my last shot, and grab a napkin to hold to my lip and I chase after her.

"Cartman?" I suddenly hear. "Cartman? Dude, wake up!" That sounds like Kenny's voice. I open my eyes and see Kenny standing over top of me. "What are you doing here?"

"Umm...I live here." God, he's such a fucking smart ass. "Get your ass up, it's almost 1 in the afternoon."

I sit up and realize I'm in our living room. I have no concept of time or really anything else right now. Funny, I don't even remember coming home. I just know I have a massive headache. "Oh, I see."

"Dude, did you hear the news?"

"Kenny, I just woke up." I put my hands on my head.

"It's about Patti Nelson!"

He just made my headache worse. I remember going out on a date with that prude bitch so I really could care less. "So what? Screw that bitch! I don't care if I ever see her ass again!"

"Well you got your wish!"

I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Patti's dead…"