Clary could feel Jace's eyes on her as she took a deep breath and began to reciprocate her past. "Jocelyn and I weren't always as close as we seem. We had problems. She was never there to take care of me. She would stay out until 5am with I couldn't guess who. I was always on my own. I got used to being self sufficient and not needing to rely on anyone and eventually it just became my comfort zone. Needless to say we were never so close, so the night she came home to me crying saying she would do more and provide for me, i was definitely shocked. This woman, with a jail record and never doesnt have a night out, said she wanted to take care of me."
Clary stopped, remembering the distasteful memory. She sneaked a peak at Jace who was very still, not saying anything, just gazing at her. Clary could feel her nerves spiking, Damn. should I have started this? As her subconscious shook her head enthusiastically at her Jace touched her hand. "What made her make that decision? Tell me." His soft warm voice gave Clary ease and she shut her eyes really hard, as if in a stinging pain. " That night she got thrown into jail for about the 7th time for public intoxication. Luke went down to the station and must have said something that really struck her, because after she came home she didn't go out again for a really long time….. She started small by making dinner every night, asking if i needed help with my homework, buying me art supplies, I could tell she was really trying. For some reason her being home all the time and acting as a house mom kind of put me on edge, sometimes she would drop something and she looked real mad. Like she was boiling. I never felt at ease at home and started coming up with excuses to not be at the house. Being at home was like waiting for a bomb to go off. The night of my thirteenth birthday, I didn't have anywhere to go so it was one of those rare nights i spent at home, i was holding a cup of hot chocolate in my hands and Jocelyn was sitting on the couch. I had a clumsy step and a big puddle of hot chocolate was evident on the carpet." Clary paused for a minute, opening her eyes, she hadn't realized she still had them closed. "She just got so angry." Clary whispered. Clary felt a tightening in her chest, a burst of panic."Anyway" Clary spoke louder than she actually felt."Long story short, things used to be different. I was different. THE END."Clary felt a pang of anger, not at Jace, but at herself. no one could understand. no one could comprehend my mindset. Just me. no one else.
Before Clary could realize it she was strutting off the roof. "Clary! Stop!" Jace called. Clary paused but didn't turn to face him."What is it Jace?!" Clary was heated. definitely not in the mood for any kind of discussion. "Don't shut me out" Jace breathed. Clary felt guilty, she shouldn't have gotten close to him. she shouldn't have let this happen. Here she is with a gorgeous man who loves her, and it's not enough. Her need to be touched and held overtook all the logic and broke down her walls, and in the process breaking down his. She knew what she had to do, not only for her well being, but for this beautiful man's. "Jace, I'm bored with you. We had a good fling and now its over. Don't ever talk to me again." Clary kept moving off the roof just when she felt warm restraints on her shoulders. His Hands. MMmmmm…. yes. Jace snuggled his head by her hair and his hot breath whispered in her ear. "It isn't a fling. It never was. I am helplessly in love with you Clary." Clary's body came to a jolt. She suddenly was very uncertain. "Jace" she said nervously but breathless. She could feel Jace's lips move to her neck. Delicious want shooting down her spine. " I love everything about you Clary. Your voice, your body, your mind, your determination. Everything. If you're not ready to tell me then you don't have to. Just tell me we're okay." His strong hand was splayed out on her stomach, the other on the side of her head. He was nibbling on her earlobe, and she exploded. Clary turned around and grabbed his face between her hands and kissed him. Hard. Jace glided his tongue in her mouth and she moaned into his kiss. He then reached down and grabbed her butt and lifted her, Clary wrapping her legs around his hips. It was hot, messy, sweaty,delicious fun. )
Clary was tired. That boy sure has stamina , she had to give him that. It took him 3 rounds to finally fall asleep. Clary laid beside him naked on the rooftop. She turned her head and gazed at him. He really is beautiful. And a wild hot fucking sex animal her subconscious purred. she gave him a last smile he would never see. Clary rose off the ground to find her clothes and slipped them on. Once she was dressed, she was on the move. Before using the fire escape, she took one more glance at Jace, and she was gone.