It's so much fun to write about Jamie! It's like writing in the most screwed up writing style that I like to call, "Third-person-copy-omniscient". It's almost as fun as referring to yourself in third person! (I.E: Kit managed to take over the Empire State Building, and Kit wishes Myriis luck in conquering the White House with a file. Kit does think a cuticle pusher would be more effective though…)
I actually have a few more chapters planned for this. I decided to show just what Jamie should be able to do. Personally, I like this chapter the least out of all the ones I have planned. But hey, in theory, Jamie should be able to conquer the world with his copy, minion, army. GO JAMIE, GO JAMIE, GO!
"The Private Life of Jamie Madrox"
7/14/03 (Version 2.0!)
****************************************************
Jamie's journal had a few dog-eared pages from where the boy would flip back and reread what he had written. On bad days, he's read the good entries. On sad days, he'd read an entry where funny Kurt did. On … boring days, he's just read the whole thing. One particular page had been dog-eared badly. It had chip grease stains on it from when he'd eat potato chips under the blankets while writing late at night. The ink was smearing and halfway through changed from black ink to blue.
'July 14th. 2002 2003. It was a normal morning today. Which was pretty strange. I guess I should have expected something from how good everything was going. I NEVER would have expected to end up mopping the Danger Room for the next week. See, first, it started like this…'
*****************************************
Breakfast was a common display on this day. There were no strange uses of mutant abilities, and to the outside world, it appeared to be a school of perfectly normal children sitting down to eat. Logan was keeping one eye on the students while he perused the newspaper. Scott and Evan were still arguing over the Hockey Stanley cup; an argument, which was getting old in a hurry. It was a completely pointless argument, and it went something like this:
"Would you pass the milk? … And you are SO wrong. The New Jersey Devils sucks this year."
"Here you go. … But I suppose you are still rooting for Detroit still? They're missing an important part of their team this year… the GOOD part."
"Thanks. … Oh sure, just because they lost one game 10-1, it means they can't play. It was a bad day. But I haven't seen New Jersey do anything but sit in the timeout box. … Are those muffins?"
"Ah, don't eat the muffins. Kitty burnt them. … You're still miffed that Philadelphia whipped them so badly, aren't you?"
The conversation got only weirder, seeming to develop two sides: One about hockey, and one about breakfast… at the same time. Jamie, uninterested in hockey, was paying attention to Rahne's impression of Amara. The Nova Roman was finally over the flu, but was complaining everything tasted funny. Rahne, sitting beside Amara, was waving her arms just as dramatically and rolling her eyes as if she was going into epileptic fits. Roberto was biting his lip, trying to keep from laughing out loud. Ray had given up the battle and was snickering softly into his waffles.
In mid arm wave, Amara suddenly turned around, "~don't you think so too, Rahne?" Amara asked. Rahne had frozen when the other girl turned, her upper lip curled, eyes crossed, and arms held in the air in what seemed to be a universal pose for 'VICTORY' or 'GOAL' or possibly 'MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!'. Lifting one dark eyebrow, Amara began to glare at the Scottish girl.
Until Rahne thought up a way out, that is. "Pass it over 'ere, Jamie! Throw it!" She waved her arms, like a football player waiting to intercept, trying to pretend that was her goal all along. Jamie was holding one of Kitty's muffins, wondering just how inedible it was. At Rahne's words, he lifted the muffin in confusion, looked at it briefly, and then chucked it to her. This brought Roberto and Sam into an impromptu game of football with the overly hardened muffin. The four of them were running around the room, throwing the dried breakfast food while everyone else either ignored them (after all, this WAS a common occurrence) or rooted for their favorite 'teams'.
Ray threw himself over Professor McCoy's head in an inverted hurdle, snagging the muffin before it collided with the older mutant's head. Hank raised a furry eyebrow and returned to breakfast, keeping a wary eye on the event. Usually, he'd be beaned in the head by a flying something (ice ball, silverware, flying multiple… he'd seen it all). Ray tried to pass to Rahne, who was in half-wolf form. Roberto intercepted though, leaping an empty chair and falling into a defensive position over the muffin.
"Go long, Squirt!" Roberto pushed Jamie into Ray, causing two multiples to stumble out. "Do a 'running-V' pattern!" Jamie (flanked by Jamie and Jamie) bolted out of the kitchen to catch the muffin. As the burnt bread product approached, Jamie reached up to grab it,…
… only to have a large wolf snatch it before his fingers could touch the muffin. Rahne loped up the hall, muffin in her mouth. She only made it three steps when her feet skidded to a halt and her wolfish eyes widened. The fur on her haunches began to rise and frizz backwards.
"Rahne? Rahne, are you ok?" Jamie shook the wolf's shoulder, his two multiples vanishing.
"Gaa-HACK!" The wolf spat the muffin on the floor and began gagging.
"Hey! They, aren't, like, that bad!" Kitty protested. She had been watching the scene with amusement until her cooking was unintentionally insulted.
A stray muffin had been lobbed across the room and met with Rogue's head. "OW! Kitty, these thangs are lahke bricks." Rogue pressed her hand to her head, rubbing where the muffin had hit. "Not even Kurt could eat these." And to prove a point, Kurt tried to use his fangs to scrape away at the muffin. He only succeeded in giving himself a toothache.
**************************************
Upon here, a picture is pressed between the pages of Jamie's journal. It's a Polaroid of Kurt nursing a sore jaw while his tail coiled about the chair legs. Behind him, Ray and Roberto are laughing hysterically and Rogue is patting her brother on the head. Bobby is providing himself as a living ice pack. Only the top of Jamie's head and Rahne's tail can be spotted in the lower corner as Hank took the picture. A large blue finger is accidentally obscuring the area where Sam and Jubilee were making faces at the camera. Like the rest of the pages in the journal, the picture has dents from small fingers in the emulsion and a brief description of the scene writing on it in red ink.
A few pictures are scattered throughout the journal, but this is one of Jamie's favorites. The next page had nearly been folded in half and roughly smoothed back out. This is where the ink switches color, and small comments (from multiples) appear in the margin.
***********************************************************
It wasn't until after dinner when anything strange happened. Jamie was shadowing Logan, firing a volley of questions at him. Or rather, a volley of the same question over and over and over.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?!"
"Because."
"But WHY!?"
Logan turned slightly. SNICKT. Claws came out. "Because." He glared. It was effective. "You are too young. If you break a bone out there, it could stunt your growth, Squirt." The older of the new mutants were doing outdoor training, which was like an obstacle course. It included everything from long jumps from pillars, crawling under fences, and dodging heavy falling objects. In Danger Room terms, this ranked a 5 (which is not an easy feat for the new mutants). It was dangerous. It was difficult… It was cool beyond all belief, and Jamie wasn't allowed in there.
Jamie knew Logan's excuse was poor, at best. "It's because I have a lame mutation, isn't it?" He pouted. "I can't shoot eye beams or iceballs or throw things with my mind. All I can do is… " Jamie lifted one hand and punched himself in his shoulder, pushing out a half dozen sad looking multiples.
Growling, Logan turned Jamie around and began herd the Jamie-flock back into the mansion. "Squirt, I know people that would love to have your mutation. If yer in a brawl, every time you get punched, you practically have an army to beat the shit out of the other guy." Jamie's feet stopped for a second as he looked up at Logan in shock and confusion. "Or ya could be your own decoy."
"I… didn't think I could use it like that." Jamie looked at his multiples, who looked equally as thunderstruck.
"'Suppose that's a good thing. Last thing we need is a Jamie brute force runnin' around." Wolverine gave the Jamies one last push towards the mansion, ruffling the boy's hair into a rugged mess and patting a copy on the shoulder. "Hank pro'lly has something you could do, if you are that bored."
Multiple smiled. "Nope! I'm not bored anymore!" He turned and ran back to the mansion, his copies following him. The gang of Jamie's didn't go into the building though. He led his copy force around to the beginning of the obstacle course.
"Ok, you all know my plan." He said. All the other Jamie's nodded and then scattered about. Jamie shared something like telepathy with is copies… but not really. Since all his copies were all him, they shared the same brain waves. He could tell them to do something and then they would. But since his copies were freethinking beings too, they were equally able to screw it up.
The original Multiple hid in the bushes, waiting for the signal. He had about ten minutes before the new recruits were out, and that was plenty of time to give the obstacle course one go. Sure, Logan told him not to, but he wanted to try! After all, his mutation wasn't that bad, he deserved a try.
A shrill scream broke the air of Xavier's Institute. "JAMIE! YOU LITTLE RAT!" Jubilee ran out of the building, chasing one of Jamie's copies for all she was worth and shooting off more fireworks than the Fourth of July. In the multiple's hand was a small book. "Give me back my diary!"
"Nya nya! Can't catch me, Jubes!" The copy smirked, running around the mansion. A crowd of students, and a few of the teachers, was coming out to see what the racket was all about. Multiple #1 dove into some bushes, and Multiple #2 burst out the other side with the diary. But since none of the others could tell one Jamie from another, all they saw was Jamie running through bushes. Jamie's copies had hidden themselves all around the mansion so when one Jamie got tired of running he'd just have to dive into another Jamie's hiding place and switch with him.
The original took this as a sign to go at it. Running around the edge of the barrier, Jamie entered the training course. He paused for just a second and gawked. It looked like someone had dismantled the Danger Room and brought most of it outside. There were turrets that shot projectiles, the strange whip-like snares were set up, and there appeared to be pits and rope ladders over cement barriers strategically placed.
"Wicked!" Jamie grinned, then ran into the gauntlet. His first few steps were fine, but once he passed a motion sensor, he began to see why it was rated a '5'.
Iron lances shot out of one of the turrets, causing Jamie to yelp and roll forwards. The boy barely dodged a few of the spikes, and then jumped to his feet to clear a small cement wall, which he used to hide behind. Biting his lower lip, Jamie thought up a plan. Teamwork! …So he made his own team.
Three more Jamies were now sitting beside him. One jumped back over the wall, distracting the motion sensor. The rest of the Jamies' followed the original down the path. When a spike fired at the decoy-Jamie, he simply faded away. The four boys ran down a path, one in the front watching for approaching traps, and Multiple himself was in the back and preparing to clap his hands to bring out more copies if needed.
"Ack! Jump!" The first multiple gasped, and they all jumped barely in time to clear a whip-snare. The tail of the snare captured one of the copies on the way back though, and with a single thought he managed to fade back into Jamie. The Jamie-army advanced relentlessly. Then Jamie clapped and dumped a few more multiples out and they managed to make a human ladder to climb up the pillars and they began to jump from platform to platform. Once Jamie nearly fell, but was saved by another. Some copies were called back, some faded away when they got trapped.
BLAM! A lone Jamie was almost knocked off the pillar by something that had just been fired. To the Jamie-Army's left was another motion sensor turret, only this one was firing some nasty metal blades. They tried dodging, attracting the attention from the original while Jamie produced more copies. One incredibly brave multiple dove at a turret that was firing metal blades, which spawned a mass riot of Jamie's clones swamping the device. Under the weight of at least ten Jamies', the turret broke and fell to the ground. The ten multiples disappeared within seconds. Another group of copies managed to drop down onto a snare trap, and with several well-placed kicks, disabled that as well.
Finally, the end was in sight! Jamie had almost made it through! "Ok, all that's left is the crawling part. We have to crawl under the barb wire fence, and avoid the sand traps." The other Jamies' nodded at this information. Multiple dropped to his belly and began to crawl on his elbows. The sand bogged Jamie down.
"Oh, bummer. I have sand in my underpants." One of the copies confessed. This caused another to laugh. And THAT brought the attention of the security system on the Jamies' trying to sneak by the last second of the course.
"Aww, nuts." All the Jamies' said in stereo. The copies quickly tried to distract the turrets as the primary Jamie crawled on. One Jamie was netted and faded away. Two more got trapped in the sand and nearly were hit with lead weights before they managed to vanish. One by one, Jamie's team of … Jamie … was reduced down to him.
'Just a few more feet!' Jamie panted, pulling himself to the last bit of the course. 'Just… a bit more…' He ran the mantra through his head, and with a tuck and flip Jamie rolled free from the course. The turret's last shot missed as him as he cleared the course.
"YES! Multiple wins! By himself! … And with I, me and my helping!" He cheered, leaping up in victory. But as his arm flailed out, it caught onto the barbwire and there was a 'rip' as fabric was torn. There was also a muffled cry of pain as the sharp bits of metal dug into his skin. Jamie looked down and winced at the sight of red blood beginning to seep through the cut. Holding his injury with his other arm, Jamie quickly left the course before he was notice, his victory buzz dissolving.
Of course, someone had begun to suspect the way Jamie's copies ran about and never seemed to get tired. Their opinion was, it was as if Jamie was trying to keep everyone's attention. That someone was waiting for Jamie at the end of the course.
"Ok, Squirt, what did I tell you about the gauntlet?" A grating voice greeted Jamie. Wolverine had his arms held akimbo and was leaning against the outer wall of the course. Jamie jumped, holding his arm behind his back. Logan suddenly caught scent of something and sniffed the air suspiciously. His eyes shot to the arm the boy was trying to hide. In a few steps, Logan had the arm twisted out and was looking at the gash. "I knew I smelt blood." He growled, frowning at the trails of red the cut left.
Jamie knew he should apologize. But, "At least I didn't break a bone."… he didn't. Logan sighed heavily, rubbing his head. Jamie pressed his free hand back into his injury, trying to stop the bleeding. Several of the new recruits peeked around the corner into the obstacle course.
"Oooh, Jamie is in trouble!" Roberto whispered to the rest, who were out of sight behind the wall.
"What? But we were chasing him for the past ten minutes!" Bobby pointed back to the mansion, only in time to see the last Jamie fade away and Jubilee's book fall to the ground. "Okay. That kid is getting waaaay too smart."
Rahne was peeking around the corner in shock. "'e ran tha' course all on his own! … OH! He's hurt!" This was said at slightly louder levels, getting everyone's attention, including Logan and Jamie's.
Casting a fierce glare back at the new mutants, Logan growled. "Everyone is to wait here until I return from the med-lab. Anyone who tries to run the course will be punished by a week of waxing the X-jet." The students all blanched, but nodded. "Come on, Squirt. You need to see Hank about that scrape."
"I'm okay though. It doesn't hurt much." Jamie protested for the benefit of all the other kids watching him. He didn't want them to think he was a baby. It did hurt though. The cut burned slightly, and he just wanted a band-aid.
Snarling in frustration, Logan grabbed Jamie by the scruff of his X-suit and began dragging him along. "That wire is nasty stuff. You'll have to get a tetanus shot from doc." Jamie's eyes widened and his jaw fell open.
"NOOOOOOO!" The boy twisted out of Logan's grip and fell onto the ground. This drove three more Jamies' from him. In one move, they scattered to the four winds, each screaming wildly. "I don't want a shot!" They howled in stereo.
"Get back here, you runt!" Logan ran after one Jamie, then changed directions and tried to catch a different one.
"Go Logan, Go Logan! Go, Go Logan! GO!" The new mutants began chanting, big grins on their faces as they watched the Canadian mountain man chase their smallest teammate. He stopped in front of the X-recruits, "Don't just stand there gawkin'! Catch one of 'em!" Ray and Sam smirked, and then ran off to catch their screaming little friend. Rahne sighed in embarrassment, then transformed into her wolf form and ran off to catch a Jamie. Roberto had turned to head one off one the other side of the building.
The night was filled with sounds of Jamie screeching, Logan bellowing, and a couple of X-recruits laughing their heads off as Logan falls into the pool after chasing a copy.
**************************************************
The writing in the journal at this point took a drop in penmanship and Jamie's injured arm began smarting as he ended the page.
'After that, I got sentenced to a week of cleaning the Danger Room. Professor X said I have to clean the DR because I took Jubilee's diary without permission, Logan says it's because I broke a few of the obstacle course's machines, and Evan says it's because I'm too cool for my own good. But they won't let me use my multiples to help me clean. Mr. McCoy got all worried that my gash would get infected and Miss Munroe had to help him give me a shot. I hate needles. They are too… pointy and scary. But I finished the obstacle course! I ran the entire thing on my own! Kitty told me that none of the other new mutants made it through, though Bobby did get to the sand traps before he got stopped. Multiple is the best!
It just proves, there is no better teamwork, than Jamie-work. And with that note… I gotta go clean some more. Jamie does a lot of work…
From the private diary of Jamie Madrox'