Chapter 2 Summary: Bella, now 'seeing the light', calls out the cullens and any other ridiculousness.
Chapter 2
Edward brought Bella back to the Cullens house. When Jasper noticed, he pointlessly sent out waves of calm to everyone. Rosalie turned to him and glared.
"I don't want to be calm Jasper! If I'm calm, I can't hate Bella to the best of my ability." Rosalie hissed. She hisses with everything she says, and she's always mad for no reason. Carlisle's theory is its because she is so beautiful that it angers her.
Jasper shrieked in fear but anger too cause, well, cause he's an empathy. So exciting. Emmett came bursting down the steps with a huge grin plastered on his face.
"Bella! My favorite sister that I'm in no way related to! Let's play some x-box…or…we could do something stupid because it's so funny." Emmett boomed with laughter.
Bella's eyes fell into narrow slits. She shook her head amazed at how stupid Emmett really was. "Take a chill pill Emmett. Wow. I'm going to go sleep."
With that last comment, Edward scooped Bella up and started to take Bella to his room. Laying her on a bed that magically appeared, Edward went to stand next to his windows. He was sulking again, expecting Bella to just ooze with concern.
Bella just looked at the bed. It was obviously new and made no since being in the room of a supposed 100 year old virgin. All of a sudden, Edward pulled up a chair, stared at Bella intently. She was trying to sleep actually, but felt someone watching her. Opening her eyes, she gasped.
"What the hell Edward! Why are you like 2 feet away from me, watching me sleep? Creep."
"I'm, I'm not a creep Bella. I just find it fascinating the way you sleep. And seeing you on the bed is just so tempting. No! I'm not good for you Bella." Edward stood, knocking the chair out the window.
"Bipolar much! I seriously don't get you Edward. You want to have sex but you don't want to make me a vampire. You're an idiot and are going to stay a virgin for ever!" Bella shook her head and pulled out a tethered copy of Wuthering Heights since that was the only book she was aware of.
"I want filet mignon and some roasted carrots." She whispered since she knew Esme could hear her. She left Edward who was as still as a rock. Not because he was a vampire and didn't have to move, but because he was so distraught. Thoughts of visiting the Volturi flooded his mind. But then he realized that he was scared of heights.
Esme handed Bella her plate of perfectly cooked food made from a noneating vampire. Emmett then came to stand in front of Bella, shocked at her presence.
"What Emmett?" Bella asked impatiently.
"You. You, didn't trip down the stairs." Emmett stumbled. Scratching his head…he connected the dots. "OMG! Edward finally changed you! Although you look the same, still ugly you know?"
Bella snorted. "You're such a dumbass it's not even funny. Seriously Emmett, your dead on this time. Edward changed me, cause we have really been upstairs for three days, and I had a really fast formation."
"Wait till Carlisle hears about this! He's going to have some research to do!" Emmett said.
Carlisle then entered the room. Hearing that he could do research, he smiled calmly. Bella glared at him and brushed him off. Things were getting dull and normal, and then for absolutely no reason, Victoria came smashing through the windows.
"No! Not my French bay windows! RAWR!" Esme screamed, growled, and yes, she hissed. But Victoria just ignored her and continued in the house. Her bare feet were gross and she was covered in leaves and dirt because she is a nomad. It makes perfect sense for nomadic vampires to be dirty, cause it's just so much fun.
"Well, well. Look who is still hanging out with the vamps. Silly girl, I would have thought you'd learn your lesson by now." She was getting ready to pounce, but another crash can be heard through the front door. Aros enters and politely says hi to the Cullens before gazing to Bella.
"This is ridiculous. Victoria, you need a shower, and Aros, do you seriously have nothing better to do than come all the way to Forks, Washington yourself?"
They were both contemplating this. Esme was gently shaking back and forth, she was going through withdrawls on account of the broken windows. Edward was still basking his self pity. Aro wasn't too sure how to respond and the remaining Cullens just stood in stalemate, waiting for someone else to make the first move.
"If you have to know Bella, things were getting too simple and some unknown force pulled me to get involved. And you're right, I stink."
"And I'm just here in a poor attempt at making a more complex situation. And to give you and many others more reasons to say Volturi in your head." Aro finished.
A scream could be heard from somewhere upstairs. "OH NO! Aro and Victoria are coming!" Alice gasped, she had a vision.
"Yeah, great timing dimwit. Why don't you do everyone a favor and take your little pixie legs to the mall?" Bella yelled back.
All of a sudden, Victoria just ran off, and Aro had a change of heart deciding to allow Bella to live. Aro left out a door. And just for the hell of it, Victoria jumped out the last French bay window.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! EVER HEARD OF A DAMN DOOR?!" Esme screamed.
AN: This is pretty much complete. I'm running out of funny. Review please!