A/N: This section was much harder to write than the first, and I'm not quite sure why. I'm not completely satisfied with the way it came out but I figure I might as well put it up and I can always tweek it later. And as always, I appreciate the reviews and feedback. I do appologize that I might not respond to everyone, but know that I do love to recieve your responses. Thanks to you all!

Be All My Sins Remembered

Hamlet

They questioned his sanity, he knew it. Everyone did, even his dark haired best friend. Eyes a mirror of his own flooded with worry though he concealed it behind smiles and easy words, always encouraging, always on his side no matter how much he might feel otherwise. Sometimes that was worse than having him leave like everyone else. Knowing that his friend thought he was crazy and stayed anyway to try and coax him back to sanity made his teeth clench. He didn't want pity from anyone. He was tired of being pitied, tired of causing himself reason for pity.

Couldn't they see that he was right? Couldn't anyone understand that he was trying to save them all from the real madman? At least, he tried to tell himself that. It was all very well and noble sounding, but really, it was more for his own purposes than anything else. He could care less about the world. Let it fall apart, crumble and spiral out of orbit, he didn't give a damn. All that mattered was that the man who brought all this ruin and torment upon him paid. But something shifted slightly to change that, and it was all due to her, a small slip of a girl with flowers in her hair and voices in her head. She was the only one who would never call him crazy. The irony of it haunted him.

The moment she had approached him, flowers in the basket hanging from her elbow, he had been drawn to her. There was something so sincere, so good about her it had taken his breath away; she was the total opposite of him in so many ways. But she had her demons too. She just hid them better than he did, did not let them break her the way he had allowed his to. Maybe. Maybe not. It could be hard to tell sometimes past her smiles and laughter, but there were those occasions the mask would slip in his presence, just enough for him to see how hard she struggled beneath. He wasn't even sure that his friend had even seen that side of her, and they had once been a couple. It somehow made her more. . . more real, and not the fragile girl he had supposed her to be.

He never deserved her. Always he had thought she was too good for the world, far too sweet and kind hearted for such a cruel place with its horrible games and violence. She should have been kept somewhere safe, not dragged into his doomed mission. Maybe if he hadn't been so blinded by revenge he would have seen sooner what was in danger of being destroyed, but by the time he did, it was too late.

Her death cut him more than he would have believed possible. It was not until she was gone that he realized how much he had cared for her, how much indeed she had meant. How much he had taken her for granted. She had loved him, protected him in her own way, and stood there beside him even when he had been taken by insanity.

How could he? How could he have treated her the way he had? He'd seen the pain in her eyes when he had been possessed by madness. Had she died, thinking he loathed her? The thought caused him more agony than he could stand. Her limp slender weight in his arms above what was to become her grave was a far easier burden for his body to bear than his soul. The frozen smile on her lips, fingers still and intertwined on her breast- the last image of her he would hold forever in his heart. She had born witness to the best and worst of him, and still, she had smiled at him.

It all came back to him- the delusional, false pretender who believed himself ruler of the world. He couldn't allow that man to continue. It had cost him, cost him more dearly than the revenge was worth, but he had no choice but to go forward. It was as much for her, for his best friend, as it was for himself now. He could do nothing else. He can't let the sacrifices have been for nothing.

He was mad, he knew that now. But still, he would go forward, and with each step, all his sins would be remembered.