Chapter 2

Kenji stared longingly at his best friend as Iketani recounted the events of the previous weekend for Takumi and Itsuki's benefit.

"…found him on the side of the road, his EG-6 all smashed up. The guy was a mess."

"Serves him right," Itsuki said. "He could have killed Takumi. Right?"

"Aah," was all the laconic 86 driver had to say on the matter.

"He's a cheater, and a jerk, and-"

"He's not so bad," Kenji said. It wasn't until everyone stopped to gape at him that he realized he'd said that out loud. "He was pretty shaken up on the way to the hospital. I don't think he did it on purpose. I mean, he seemed to feel pretty bad about it."

"That doesn't mean anything," Itsuki insisted. "Just because he feels bad that he smashed up his car doesn't mean he feels bad that he tried to hurt Takumi. Remember when he almost made Iketani-sempai crash? He seemed to think that was funny. He's nothing but a…jerk!"

"More than that," Iketani said. "He's dangerous, maybe a sociopath."

Kenji didn't mention that Shingo had spent the night at his house, nor did he tell them what they had done. He was feeling inexplicably protective of the Nightkids driver, and didn't want to give his friends any more reasons to criticize Shingo. For the last few nights, as he'd lain in his bed, he had closed his eyes and imagined strong arms wrapped around him.

But Kenji wasn't attracted to bad boys. Iketani was the very definition of all that he loved in a man. When he was in Iketani's presence, he felt nothing but respect and adoration for his best friend, who was sweet and kind, decent, honorable, and trustworthy. Shingo was everything he was not. He was a lying, cheating, conniving bastard who only hurt the people around him. Kenji wanted nothing to do with him. At least, that's what he told himself. But every night when his fantasies came to life, it was Shingo's nasal voice whispering obscenities into his ear, and Shingo's hands roving roughly over his body.

Kenji shivered as he shut the images out of his head. Even if he liked Shingo, which he didn't, the Civic driver didn't want him. Iketani didn't want him, either. No one did. He was the worse kind of loser, pathetically pining after people who just weren't interested. He should just give up now. He had good friends and a loving family, didn't he? He didn't need a boyfriend. He could be perfectly happy, just the way he was. Yeah…right.

"Kenji?"

He snapped back to reality at the sound of his name. "Huh? Where are Takumi and Itsuki?" he asked, realizing for the first time that they were gone.

"They just left. Are you all right?" Iketani asked, his concern giving his features a rather cutely befuddled look.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kenji said hastily.

"You sure? You've been kind of distracted lately. Anything I should know about? A new girlfriend, maybe?" Iketani said with a playful grin.

A wave of pure horror washed over Kenji. "No!" he exclaimed, somewhat louder than he had intended, making everyone in the vicinity turn and look at him. He gave them a weak wave before scrunching down in the booth. "No," he repeated in a more normal tone. "I've just had a lot on my mind, that's all."

"Well, if you want to talk about it or something…" Iketani said, leaving the invitation open.

The warmth and caring in his eyes made Kenji feel wretchedly undeserving. Here he was, so busy fantasizing about a guy who tried to hurt his best friend that he was totally blanking said friend.

"Thanks, but really, I'm fine." Honestly, he was the worst friend ever!

Kenji stared down at his mobile phone. The contacts list was open, Shingo's name highlighted. He wanted desperately to speak to the EG-6 driver. He'd had such a rotten week, and things seemed impossibly out of control. He just needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand him, who would know what he was thinking without having to ask.

No, that was just his romantic fantasies taking flight again. Shingo had warned him about that. But was it really his imagination that Shingo seemed to understand what he was feeling, better than even he did?

There was only one way to find out. He took a deep breath and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Shingo?"

"Yeah?"

"It's me, Kenji."

"I know, I got your number, remember? What do you want?"

He didn't think Shingo had meant to sound quite so curt there, but he felt rebuked all the same, and had to resist the urge to hang up. No, he wasn't going to back down now, not after he'd already made the call.

"Hello?" Shingo prompted impatiently.

"I uh, I…I was wondering if I could uh, see you. I mean, maybe we could have a drink, or dinner or something." He suddenly realized what that sounded like. "I mean, just to talk, if that's ok. Unless, you changed your mind about…but you probably haven't. Not that I want that, but I mean, I don't not want it, that is-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, grow a pair!" Shingo snapped. "I get off work at six. I'll meet you near the bottom of Mt. Myougi around half six."

"Yeah-" A sharp click and the dial tone cut him off.

Initially, Kenji tried to quash his excitement, but in the end, he decided the hell with it, and did a little happy dance.

"…and then the printer broke, and my boss was so mad. He chewed me out in front of everyone in the office, and I just felt so stupid! All I wanted to do was spend some time with my friends, but Iketani's all hung up on this girl Mako. It's all he talks about! I'm so sick of hearing about-"

"Mako?" Shingo asked suddenly. "Like Sayuki's friend Mako?"

Kenji shook his head, his mind drawing a blank. "She's kind of tall, long hair…"

Shingo shrugged. "Well, if it's the girl I'm thinking of, then your friend is dating the driver from Impact Blue." At Kenji's failure to recognize the name, he said, "I'll just assume Iketani's too clueless to know who she is, because I bet if he did know, he would've already bragged to you about it."

"Bragged? About what?"

"Well, for one thing, she's hot. Not just hot, smokin' hot, and she's one hell of a driver, too, but don't tell her I said so."

Kenji grimaced. "Great."

"Well, maybe it's not her," Shingo said with a dismissive wave. "Sayuki said she'd given up dating racers. Said they always wanted her to give up racing. Guess no guy's worth that, huh?"

Kenji drank moodily from his bottle of beer. "I don't know, I'm not that good," he said. "Wouldn't be much of a hardship to give it up."

Shingo raised an eyebrow at him. "Shit, you're worse than I thought. Beer's not gonna help when you're feeling this bad. Drink up, and we'll go."

"Where?"

"You'll see."

Kenji hiked after Shingo, the only illumination the meager light of the waning moon. He wondered if the Nightkids driver could even see where he was going. It was so dark that they could easily fall down a ravine before they even realized it was there.

"You're not tipsy, are you?" Shingo asked suddenly.

"No." He had been starting to get a bit tipsy at the bar, but all this hiking around in the dark had sobered him right up.

"You think you could drive, if you had to?"

"Um, yeah, but I don't think I should."

"Relax, we're not going to be driving. This is better than racing, better than getting drunk, better than sex, probably."

Kenji's eyes widened. He was starting to get really anxious. "What are we doing out here?"

"You'll see."

"B-but I don't want to see; I want you to tell me."

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?"

He was reminded of a time in gradeschool when he was lured into a parking lot and beaten up by the school bully and his pack of friends. But if Shingo had wanted to beat him up, he needn't have hiked out to the middle of nowhere to do it. Unless the EG-6 driver intended to kill him and bury his body out here in the woods - but no, that was just plain crazy. Why would he do that? Shingo couldn't possibly be that much of a sociopath…could he?

"You're not gonna hunt me for sport, are you?" he asked with a nervous laugh.

Shingo snorted. "What the hell would be sporting about that?"

"That's reassur-oof!" Kenji tripped on something hard and fell, banging his knee sharply. As he felt around with his hands, he realized that he had stumbled on a railroad tie.

"You ok?" Shingo asked. He reached down and hauled Kenji to his feet by the arm.

"Yeah," Kenji said, although his knee was still smarting. He glanced around and noted that they were near a bridge. The sound of rushing water came to his ears – a river. Then he felt something, a vibration along the tracks.

"Train's almost here. Come on," Shingo said, leading him onto the tracks and to the edge of the bridge.

"We shouldn't be on the tracks if the train's coming," Kenji said, although he felt that surely this went without saying.

Shingo turned to him then. His eyes glittered weirdly in the moonlight. "We're gonna wait till the train gets to that tree." He pointed at a dark shape in the distance. "Then we're gonna run. When we hit the middle of the bridge, we jump."

Kenji gaped at him. "What? Why?"

"Because it's fun."

"That's insane! If you want to kill yourself, fine, but I'm not *that* depressed!"

Shingo laughed as if Kenji had made a joke. "We're not committing suicide, you moron. I've done this before. Just follow me, and you'll be fine."

The vibrations were getting stronger. Kenji could hear the rhythmic chugging of the train. It sounded like it was traveling fast. His heart pounded in his chest. "Better than sex?" he asked weakly.

Shingo grinned. "You bet."

Kenji startled himself by nodding.

The blast of the train's horn reverberated through Kenji's bones, or maybe it was the shaking of the tracks. He couldn't tell, but when Shingo turned and ran, he sprinted after him before he could rethink his decision.

The train bore down on them, a massive, powerful force that would crush them the instant they fell behind. The bridge was shaking so hard that Kenji feared he would lose his balance, but he didn't. He didn't look back, didn't stop to wonder, worry, or think. He just ran, ran like the devil was after him because it pretty much was. The horn sounded again, so loud it felt like it was inside his head. A wall of air hit his back, and in that instant, Shingo disappeared over the side of the bridge. Terrified, Kenji flung himself off the bridge just as the train rushed past in a grinding screech of metal on metal.

Freefall. Kenji screamed. The river rushed towards him at an alarming speed, and then he was plunged into its icy depths. The water was black as pitch. He thrashed around, unable to tell which way was up. Then something latched onto his shirt and dragged him to the surface. Kenji broke the surface of the water with loud gasps. Shingo let go of him and began swimming towards the shore with long, determined strokes. Kenji followed suit, reaching the shore under his own power. He slogged out of the river and onto the rocky sand, never more grateful to feel solid ground beneath his hands and knees than he was at that moment.

"Oh my god, holy shit, holy fucking shit," he said, the curse words pouring from him unbidden. They seemed at once appropriate, and completely inadequate. He rolled over onto his back and looked up. Stars littered the night sky, breathtaking in their cold beauty. Why had he never noticed them before?

Shingo's mouth closed over his. He smelled of the river, and tasted like alcohol. Kenji yielded to him, let him push his tongue into his mouth and stroke him from the inside out. Then Shingo was kissing his neck, his mouth hot against Kenji's cold skin. Kenji writhed beneath him, desperate to shuck his wet clothing and revel in the feel of naked skin on skin. As if sensing his thoughts, Shingo stripped off first Kenji's shirt and then his own. Kenji arched in pleasure and pain as Shingo bit down on his nipple, and from then on he was lost in the mélange of blindingly erotic sensations the likes of which he'd never experienced.

"Oh, holy fuck!" he cried hoarsely as Shingo took him into his mouth. He gripped the sparse clumps of grass around him for traction, his heels digging trenches into the soft mud at the river's edge. He moaned and thrashed, cursing ever louder as he felt himself hurtling towards orgasm with the same heart pounding primal force that had propelled him down the tracks. Then suddenly he was there, leaping over the precipice and once again freefalling.

The tension left his body, draining out of him with each pulse. When he finally touched back down, he fell back against the rough, rocky beach. His senses returned to him, seemingly sharper now, and he could smell the freshly shorn grass, feel the wet, gritty sand beneath his hands, and hear the roaring rush of the river. Adrenaline still coursed through his veins, but the raw edge had been dulled. He didn't think he'd ever in his whole pathetic existence felt so good, so alive, and he had only one person to thank for it.

Shingo collapsed next to Kenji's spent form on the bank. He felt at peace at last. It was only in moments like these that he felt sated, all the need burned from him in a glorious rush of endorphins. It wouldn't last though. It never did for long. Soon the feeling would return, that feeling that was like an itch he couldn't scratch. It would build until he became desperate, so desperate that he would do anything to satisfy the craving. When it was all over, he usually regretted what he'd done. He always came back for more though. He couldn't stop himself if he tried, although he'd never really tried that hard.

He glanced over at Kenji. The Nissan driver's eyes were closed, a faint smile on his bruised lips. Shingo felt a sharp stab of regret. He shouldn't have involved him in this. People who got involved inevitably got hurt. Usually he didn't care. Peoples' decisions, and the consequences of those decisions, were their problems, not his. But there was something about Kenji, an innocence, for lack of a better word, that inspired feelings of protectiveness. The feelings were both unexpected and unnerving, and he wasn't interested in either of those things.

He sat up. "Come on, we should head back."

Kenji got up and retrieved his shirt from the grass. He seemed content for the moment, and unwilling to break the mood with small talk, for which Shingo was grateful. Without a word, Shingo struck off into the darkness in the general direction of town.

When they reached the parking lot, Kenji paused next to the EG-6. Sensing that he had been working up to something during their hike back, Shingo didn't wait for him to speak first.

"So ah, I guess I'll see you around," he said. He quickly opened his car door but Kenji stopped him before he could escape.

"Wait! I…I want to thank you, for…" Kenji trailed off, seemingly at a loss.

"For what?" Shingo demanded, his tone edged with belligerence.

"For…for making me feel…alive. For showing me just how stupid and petty my problems really are."

Shingo gave him a sharp look. "Don't you get it? It only feels that way right now. Tomorrow, all your problems will still be there, and they'll be just as real and shitty as they've always been. You'll still be you, and nothing will have changed."

"That's not true. I'll have changed. I feel like a different person, a better person."

Shingo put a steadying hand on Kenji's shoulder. "That's just the adrenaline talking. Trust me." In the clear light of day, you'll regret what you did here tonight, and hate me for it, he didn't add. Kenji would figure it out for himself soon enough. He pushed the Nissan driver out of the way and got into his car, slamming the door before Kenji could utter another word.

When Kenji got home that night, he peeled off his muddy, sodden clothing and jumped immediately into a steaming hot shower. As the water massaged the cold stiffness from his limbs, he cast his mind back over the incident on the bridge. When it finally struck him how close he had come to death, he began to shake all over. What if he had tripped, or drowned? He couldn't believe he'd done something so stupid and reckless on the urging of someone he knew to be mentally unbalanced. Imagine what it would have done to his mother to have to identify his corpse after it had washed up downstream, bloated beyond recognition. He was a fool to have listened to Shingo. And the sex…well…what was that about? What happened to "you don't want to hang around with me"? What, he wasn't good enough to date, but he was good enough to fuck?

He closed his eyes and felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. Why hadn't he listened to his friends? Like everyone else who already knew better, he rued the day he met Shouji Shingo.

In the morning when he woke up, he erased the name from the contact list on his mobile phone.