A/N: Hello again! I thought I'd bring you the second story in the Mamo drabble collection. I'm actually super fond of this one, it takes place during my all time favorite arc of the manga (Dream Arc). It's the shortest one of the group so far, but hopefully that doesn't take away from the emotions during this time in the story. Anyway, for this story I used the prompt "Control" and it was posted on the "Mamoru Fights Back" day, where we were encouraged to fight back against all the horrible things people always say about Mamo. So, with that said... hope you can enjoy it!
The moment he heard the click of the door as Usagi left the apartment, Mamoru let out a sigh of relief before coughing up another handful of black blood. At least he had managed to hold it back until she left. He never would have been able to keep the truth from her if she had seen the blood, and he loved her too much to let that happen. If she knew what was happening to him, she wouldn't leave his side for a moment… and what if he was contagious? Just thinking about Usagi in the same weakened state had him in a panic. She was the only one who could keep the world safe, he couldn't let his desire to keep her at his side take her from her duty.
He fell back against his pillows and closed his eyes. If he was completely honest with himself, it had taken almost all the control he had left to turn Usagi away. When he heard her cheerful voice calling out to him, his heart had yearned for her. He wanted nothing more than to have her curl up in bed next to him and feed him that bento she had brought. Turning her away, seeing that rejected look in her eyes, was almost more painful than the disease eating away at his lungs. He hated seeing anything but a smile on her face, and knowing that it was his fault that she was hurting now…
Mamoru clutched at his chest as another round of coughing shook his body. More blood spattered on his hands, coating his fingers in the black tar-like substance. At this rate his body wouldn't hold out for more than another few weeks, a month at most. How was he supposed to protect what mattered to him most? And how could he possibly let Usagi face the future on her own?
No, he couldn't allow himself to think like that. Usagi could handle things on her own. She was strong and capable, more than he could ever be. He didn't doubt she would be lonely without him, but she had her friends to help guide and protect her. With or without him, she would become Neo Queen Serenity and guide their world into a peaceful future. He couldn't let his own selfish desires stop that from happening. The world needed her… so he had to let her go.
"I'm doing it for you, Usako," he whispered hoarsely, clenching his fist around the blood in his hand. He would keep his distance from her. He would keep her safe. It was the only way he could protect her with this weak body.
He just hoped she could forgive him.