Danbury, Connecticut: January 20, 2004
".and I think it's high time that the people of Connecticut deserve to finally get their own voice in the Senate, a voice that cares about the future of the sons and daughters of this great state!" Josh spoke into the microphone, an audience of a thousand people cheering before him at the state college auditorium.
"I look at the faces of my daughters when I wake up every morning and before I go to bed every night," Josh continued when the crowd settled down a bit. "And I want to do everything I possibly can to guarantee that their future is secure and prosperous. I don't know about you folks but I have a feeling that Senator Brooks is worried less about protecting the natural resources of this country and more about how many zeros were in his last check from his buddies in the oil industry." The crowd began cheering in earnest and Josh glanced to his right at Toby and saw him tap his watch, the signal for Josh to wrap it up. "Now is the time to be heard!" Josh stated definitely when the shouts died down. "Thank you very much, please tip your waitresses on the way out!" The crowd laughed at the off the cuff joke and Josh exited the stage, waving at the audience the entire time, to the sound of the Danbury State College marching band playing the school's song.
"That wasn't too bad," Toby shouted to him over the crowd when Josh reached him. Someone handed him his jacket and the two men headed out to the parking lot where their transportation awaited.
"What? I can't hear you!" Josh shouted back over the sound of cheering and bass drums.
"I said that wasn't too bad out there!" Toby shouted back as they were shepherded towards the doors that led to the campaign cars.
Josh looked at him confused, cupping his ear a bit. "I still can't."
Toby struggled for a little control. "I said.!"
"Yeah, I heard you the first time, I just wanted to make you keep saying it to see if your face would keep changing colors." Josh smiled at him, patting his back as they walked outside and stepped into the black Lincoln town car that was their official mode of transportation. The rest of the aides and volunteers who worked on the campaign that had come with them rode in a series of vans behind them. But Josh and Toby both liked the peace and quiet that came without traveling with an entourage, so they got the town car and everyone else got a van.
"That's it, I quit. Win this election on your own," Toby said in complete monotone as the car began pulling away from the school and headed back to the campaign headquarters.
"So what's next?" Josh asked as he pulled a few memos from his briefcase to skim through on the way back.
"You have a conference call with the state party chair at three o'clock," Toby rattled off while making adjustments for the next press release. "Then you've got a live interview on Channel 8 news, that's the NBC affiliate, and after that you have to go parade around in that ridiculous monkey suit of yours in front of the prissy hellions of the political system for several hours."
"First of all, I look damn good in the monkey suit," Josh said, still looking at the memo. "Second, I agree that the people at this event are prissy hellions but the politically correct term is 'contributors' and third, you can be as petulant as you want about it, you're still coming with me and Donna."
"There is no way to accurately annunciate the seething odium I feel for you at this moment."
"Well seething odium was a pretty good one."
"I was rushed. By the way," Toby said to him, continuing to tweak the release. "I talked to Burt before."
"Who's Burt?"
"He's the volunteer coordinator."
"I thought that was Bill."
"And yet it's Burt."
"Than who's Bill?"
"Bill's our pollster."
"No, our pollster's named Brad."
"No, our pollster's named Bill."
"Are you sure it couldn't be Brad?"
"I am sure and the reason I am so sure is because our pollster is Bill. Bill the pollster, now can we get back to Burt?"
"Sure." Josh crinkled his forehead. "Who's Burt again?"
Toby reached to his side and opened the door to the mini-bar, pulling out a tiny case of Scotch. He opened the bottle, downed it quickly, put the empty bottle back in the fridge, and continued on with his writing. "Burt is the volunteer coordinator and he thinks he found someone to be your personal aide."
"Really? Good, that's wonderful," Josh replied unenthusiastically. "Did he give you a fact sheet to show me?"
"Right here." Toby handed him the form that all the volunteers had filled out, containing all their general personal and professional backgrounds that the staff coordinators used to determine where to best use the rookies.
Josh took the piece of paper, looked at for less than a minute, and crumpled it up. "Nope, keep looking."
Toby sighed, rubbing his forehead to try to ward off the oncoming headache. "And what, may I ask, was wrong with this one?"
"This one plays tennis," Josh answered as if it made all the sense in the world.
"I'm sorry?"
"He plays tennis, he's a tennis player, he's a lover of all things tennis."
"And why in God's name.?"
"The McEnroe effect." Josh turned to find Toby looking at him like he'd grown a second head so he elaborated. "You do know who John McEnroe is, right?"
"Yeah," Toby drawled out, already knowing what he thought of this excuse.
"Well then you know about his temper. One thing on the tennis court went wrong and POP!" Josh slapped his together for emphasis. "He was gone, a certifiable nutjob. It was because he couldn't deal with the pressure of the big game: Wimbeldom, the U.S. Open, etc. You get what I'm saying?"
"Thank merciful God, no."
"What happens when it comes to election time?" Josh questioned, ignoring his friend. "When all the chips are on the table and it's do or die? This kid's gonna lose it so fast it'll make your head spin. And there could be serious emotional and physical damage inflicted on any casual standbys. I'm just looking out for the welfare of my staff."
"Or being the pathetic moron we all know and loathe you be."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Toby told him, frustrated, "that for the past three weeks, we've looked at more people for the job of Personal Aide to a Senatorial Candidate than we did when we were trying to fill a seat on the Supreme Court!"
Josh just shook his head at him. "I don't know what you're talking about. I've been perfectly reasonable and sound in the qualities I want, no check that. The qualities I need in a personal aide. None of them measured up, none of them had the game, none of them."
"Are Donna," Toby finished for him, finally voicing his opinion on the matter.
"Excuse me?" Josh asked.
"None of the people you've looked at are Donna," Toby continued as if he were explaining it to a child. "And Donna is the only one that you want to be your personal aide because she's the only one you've ever known as your personal aide and that you're comfortable with as your personal aide."
"That's just flatly." Josh trailed off his argument, knowing he couldn't win because he knew Toby was right. "Okay, it's true. So what?"
"So what? What do you mean so what? You gotta buckle down and chose someone, Boss"
"Stop calling me Boss," Josh demanded, tired of Toby's new nickname for him. "And why is it so imperative that I have someone around all the time to carry my briefcase and take notes for me on a daily basis?"
"Because it is," Toby stated stubbornly. "Because you're going to be running on all four cylinders, eighteen hours a day, for the next ten months until Election Day. You need someone there with you to keep you sane when your family and friends can't. I certainly don't want the hassle of that nor would anyone else who knows you so you're stuck getting an aide." He paused to glance at Josh. "It's nothing personal, all candidates need someone they can vent out to without having to worry about reading it in the papers or receiving divorce papers or being handed walking papers."
"Yeah," Josh agreed absently as the driver pulled up in front of his house. A fresh patch of snow from last night's storm covered the walkway and front yard. Josh could see from the abstract-looking snowman what Emma had spent her day off from school doing. "I'll meet the rest of you in about an hour," he told Toby as they stepped out of the car.
"Sure," Toby said as he walked over to where the two vans were parked to start getting people inside and back to work. "Okay people, listen up!" he said in the manner of a drill sergeant to the individuals who were stepping out of the van. "Inside now! We've got to get a man elected Senator and we've only got two hundred and eighty-eight days in which to do it. Let's get to work! Hustle up, don't make me break out the whistle again." Everyone groaned, still not used to Toby's breakneck pace, and followed him out back to the guesthouse, which was where they kept the main offices of the campaign.
Josh went into the main house and jogged up the stairs to find his family, eager to see them after a long morning of working that had started before the sun even rose. He glanced into Emma's room and found toys strewn everywhere but no sign of the girl. Then he headed over to his own bedroom, where he found two out of three of the people he wanted to see.
Emma was dressed in one of her numerous costumes that her aunt facilitated her with as a birthday present last month, a dress made of some sparkly pink material, with puffed up shoulders and a cape to go along with it. Her long blonde locks were pulled back with a pair of barrettes and Josh could see a fair amount of Donna's own makeup covering the girl's face. She was sitting on the carpeted floor, cross-legged in front of Natalie's bouncy seat. Natalie had on a simple white sleeper and her blue eyes were shining as she watched her older sister play a game of peek-a-boo with her.
"I see you!" Emma would cry as she removed her hands from over her eyes and than laugh out loud at Natalie's obvious glee. Josh smiled to himself, literally feeling the warmth enter his heart as he watched his children play with one another. The only person missing from the picturesque scene was Donna.
"And I see you, too!" Josh said as he made his presence known in the room. Emma looked right up at him and while he couldn't see her face, Josh could have sworn he heard Natalie gurgling happily at the sound of his voice.
"Daddy!" Emma launched herself towards him like a heat-seeking missile. Josh let out an involuntary groan when she collided with his stomach. 'Man, she's got the strength of a linebacker,' he thought.
"Ouff! Ease up there a little, kiddo, you're gonna break me in two," he told her as he got down on the floor with her. He pulled her onto his lap and gave her a kiss on the cheek, smelling more than a hint of Donna's perfume on her. "So did you have a good day today?"
"Yep," Emma nodded. "I played outside with Mommy and we built a snowman and we baked cookies and we played dress up and we listened to you talk on the radio and I heard you say my name to everyone!"
"Well, that sounds like a mighty exhausting day. I think someone needs to get into bed!" With that, Josh threw a laughing Emma over his shoulder and walked over to the giant four-poster bed, depositing her on it gently before he proceeded to tickle her.
In the midst of Emma's laughter, the baby started squawking from her spot, demanding her fair share of attention from her father. "And what about you, Natalie? How was your day?" leaving Emma to go pick up Natalie, cuddling her onto his shoulder while repeatedly kissing her. He and the baby joined Emma back on the bed, Josh feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulder after spending a mere five minutes with his girls. Only one person was missing from the equation.
"So where's Mommy hiding?" Josh asked Emma, who was rubbing her sister's back as the baby rested against Josh's chest.
"She's right here," he heard Donna announce from the inside of her custom- built, walk-in closet, or what Josh referred to as, "The Lair".
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get ready for the fundraiser."
"Donna, the party's not for another," he glanced at the clock, "four hours! You really need that much time to get ready?"
"Yes, I do," Donna informed as she stepped into the room, wearing a stylish silk robe, and joined her family. She took the baby from her husband and rocked her gently. "And don't complain to me about it, you never seem to when you see the end result of how gorgeous I look."
"Well I think if you drove into the recesses of your mind, you'd find that I rarely complain about anything you do."
She leaned over to give him a peck. "Nice save on that one Mister."
"Well, I do what I can." The phone started ringing and Josh reached over onto the side table to pick up the receiver. "Hello.Yes, Mrs. Haden, how are you...Oh really...Uh huh.Yes I see.Well thank you for calling.No don't worry, we'll find someone.Okay goodnight." He hung up and sighed. "Well looks like you girls are going to have to do without Mrs. Haden's spinach quiche for dinner. She can't baby-sit you guys tonight," he said to Emma.
"Yes!" she cried, raising her arms in victory. She caught her mother's stern glance. "I mean oh no!" she tried to recover.
"What happened?" Donna asked, choosing to ignore her daughter's antics for the moment.
"That stomach bug that's going around, she didn't want to expose the girls," he explained. "So who do we call now?"
Donna shrugged. "I don't know. Mrs. Haden was the only person your mom recommended and we don't know anyone else well enough that'd I trust the kids with."
"Do want to try that baby-sitting network Patty suggested?"
"Absolutely not!" Donna told him, horrified. "First off, I do not want strangers in this house, watching my children and second, why would I trust something that Patty suggested?" She paused for second, squinting her eyes. "And who is Patty anyways?"
"She's the Press Secretary, Mommy," Emma informed her.
"Wasn't that Sally?" Josh asked confused.
"No, Sally's the one that talks with the local city councils."
"That's not Sally, that's the other one," her mother contradicted. "The one with the Farrah Fawcett, circa 'Charlie's Angels' hair."
"Uh-uh, that Alice," Emma corrected. "And she's the events coordinator. Can I go play in my room now?"
"Emma," her mother said raising her eyebrows.
"I mean, may I go play in my room now?"
"Yes, you may." Emma climbed over father, laughing as he pretended to groan in agony, and scampered out of her parent's bedroom.
"Should we be worried that she seems to know more about this campaign than we do?" Josh asked his wife when Emma was gone.
"No, you're the candidate now, remember? You're not supposed to be able to remember anyone's name or job title," she assured him. "But back to the actual problem, what are we gonna do about tonight? I mean, we can't just not show up to a Democratic fundraiser being held in your honor."
"Sad but true. You'd think with a little power I'd be able to get out of one of these finally." They just sat there for a moment, relaxing in each other's company when Josh noticed something. "What's that smell?"
Donna pushed her nose close to Natalie's midsection and immediately pulled up. "Oh, I think someone didn't like her strained carrots." She started to hand the infant to Josh. "Here, it's your turn."
"No, no, no. I distinctly remember cleaning something up from her this morning that should have been handled be F.E.M.A. It's your turn," he protested holding up his hands.
"But I've cleaned up all the messes that have accumulated today from her and her older sister, who despite having no biological connection to you nevertheless seems to have picked up the same habit of overly messy eating from you."
"And I've been working my butt off all day, trying to remember people's names, give eloquent yet decisive speeches, and keep Toby from committing a felony after he read about the comments Brook's staff released to the Herald."
"Okay, this is ridiculous," Donna said, trying to put an end to the stalemate so Natalie could receive a fresh diaper. "Let's just settle this like mature adults. All right?" Josh nodded his compliance. She shifted the baby to one arm to free up her right hand. "Okay ready?" Again, he nodded to the affirmative.
They both held out their fists and in unison said, "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" They both had counted the beats of the tune with their fists and when they finished, Josh's hand was still balled up while Donna's was laying flat, palm down.
Josh moaned in defeat. "Two out a three?" he asked hopefully.
She smiled smugly at him as she handed him the baby. "The new thing of baby wipes is in the bottom drawer. Try not to go overboard on the powder this time."
"Yeah," he sighed, taking Natalie and holding her very carefully at arms length. "I think we need to get started on this potty training thing sooner rather than later, Missy," he teased as he went into the nursery.
Donna giggled and got up, going over to the phone to call Mrs. Haden back and see if she could recommend anyone else for tonight. She'd just started dialing when Toby entered the room.
"Hey, I didn't even hear you come in," she told him as she finished dialing. "Do you need him?"
"Yeah he's late for a conference call and all the interns are too afraid of him so the task of rounding him up was left to me," Toby explained, shuffling around the room. "Where is he?"
"Changing Natalie, he'll be done in a few minutes," she said, listening to the dial tone on the other end of the phone.
"Who you calling?"
"The baby-sitter canceled for tonight and I'm calling to see if she knows anyone else that can come on short notice. I mean since I can't stay behind."
"Yeah well unfortunately we need you both there tonight," Toby semi- apologized to her. "We need Josh to collect the cash and we need you for window dressing."
"Gee Toby," she chuckled lightly, still listening for an answer, "you really know how to sweep a girl off her feet. How on earth does my sister put up with your near constant romantic gestures?"
"Shut up," he told her tiredly. "You have no idea how tedious these functions can actually be. You've only attended them as a casual bystander. Here, you'll be center stage, all eyes on you. People you've never met and would never want to meet will be picking you brain for hours on end all while photographers are snapping away and you're trying to keep your husband from making a shithead of himself. It's like being in the sixth circle of hell."
"Sounds like my kinda party," Donna quipped, casting a glance at him. "If you really hate these things that much, why don't you just not go?"
"I would rather consider voting for a Republican candidate than attend another one these things," Toby answered. "And yet, for some reason, your husband is now paying for my salary. Ergo, he's making me go to this affair."
An idea formulated in Donna's head as she hung up the phone, a somewhat evil smile gracing her face as she stared at Toby.
"What?" he asked her, noticing the funny look she was giving him. "Donna, are you okay? Do I have something somewhere...?" Before Toby could continue, Josh re-entered the room, playing with the baby.
"Hey Toby what's up?" he asked casually. "Did you find a sitter yet?" he directed at Donna.
"Yep," she answered grinning. "Toby has graciously volunteered to watch the girls tonight."
"He did?" Josh asked, shocked.
"I did?" Toby responded, equally as shocked.
"Of course you did," Donna said, going to Josh and taking the baby from him. "This way, Josh and I can go to the party without worrying about leaving the girls with a stranger and you can avoid the party all together."
"Yeah but Josh said that he needed me tonight," Toby countered, even more uncomfortable with the idea of watching a six year-old and an infant than he was with going to the party.
"I think I can manage without you," Josh added, enjoying the sight of Toby's obvious discomfort.
"Really, I think there are others more qualified than I am to take care of..." his objections were halted as Donna walked over to him and placed Natalie in his arms. The baby girl immediately started flaying her arms around, trying in vain to grasp her tiny hands into Toby's beard.
"Hey don't we have a conference call to take right now?" Josh asked as he went to get his coat.
"Yeah," Toby sighed dejectedly, handing the squirming infant back to her mother. "I'll be here at seven. I'm not bathing them nor am I feeding them either."
"That'll be taken care of," Donna assured him. "Just keep them amused until bedtime without injuring them physically or psychologically in anyway."
"No problem," Toby said as he left the room, his shoulders slumped.
"That was brilliant," Josh told her as he leaned in for a kiss. They lingered on like that for a moment until Natalie started gurgling, breaking them apart. Josh bent to kiss his daughter's head. "I'll see you later," he said as he left the room.
".and I think it's high time that the people of Connecticut deserve to finally get their own voice in the Senate, a voice that cares about the future of the sons and daughters of this great state!" Josh spoke into the microphone, an audience of a thousand people cheering before him at the state college auditorium.
"I look at the faces of my daughters when I wake up every morning and before I go to bed every night," Josh continued when the crowd settled down a bit. "And I want to do everything I possibly can to guarantee that their future is secure and prosperous. I don't know about you folks but I have a feeling that Senator Brooks is worried less about protecting the natural resources of this country and more about how many zeros were in his last check from his buddies in the oil industry." The crowd began cheering in earnest and Josh glanced to his right at Toby and saw him tap his watch, the signal for Josh to wrap it up. "Now is the time to be heard!" Josh stated definitely when the shouts died down. "Thank you very much, please tip your waitresses on the way out!" The crowd laughed at the off the cuff joke and Josh exited the stage, waving at the audience the entire time, to the sound of the Danbury State College marching band playing the school's song.
"That wasn't too bad," Toby shouted to him over the crowd when Josh reached him. Someone handed him his jacket and the two men headed out to the parking lot where their transportation awaited.
"What? I can't hear you!" Josh shouted back over the sound of cheering and bass drums.
"I said that wasn't too bad out there!" Toby shouted back as they were shepherded towards the doors that led to the campaign cars.
Josh looked at him confused, cupping his ear a bit. "I still can't."
Toby struggled for a little control. "I said.!"
"Yeah, I heard you the first time, I just wanted to make you keep saying it to see if your face would keep changing colors." Josh smiled at him, patting his back as they walked outside and stepped into the black Lincoln town car that was their official mode of transportation. The rest of the aides and volunteers who worked on the campaign that had come with them rode in a series of vans behind them. But Josh and Toby both liked the peace and quiet that came without traveling with an entourage, so they got the town car and everyone else got a van.
"That's it, I quit. Win this election on your own," Toby said in complete monotone as the car began pulling away from the school and headed back to the campaign headquarters.
"So what's next?" Josh asked as he pulled a few memos from his briefcase to skim through on the way back.
"You have a conference call with the state party chair at three o'clock," Toby rattled off while making adjustments for the next press release. "Then you've got a live interview on Channel 8 news, that's the NBC affiliate, and after that you have to go parade around in that ridiculous monkey suit of yours in front of the prissy hellions of the political system for several hours."
"First of all, I look damn good in the monkey suit," Josh said, still looking at the memo. "Second, I agree that the people at this event are prissy hellions but the politically correct term is 'contributors' and third, you can be as petulant as you want about it, you're still coming with me and Donna."
"There is no way to accurately annunciate the seething odium I feel for you at this moment."
"Well seething odium was a pretty good one."
"I was rushed. By the way," Toby said to him, continuing to tweak the release. "I talked to Burt before."
"Who's Burt?"
"He's the volunteer coordinator."
"I thought that was Bill."
"And yet it's Burt."
"Than who's Bill?"
"Bill's our pollster."
"No, our pollster's named Brad."
"No, our pollster's named Bill."
"Are you sure it couldn't be Brad?"
"I am sure and the reason I am so sure is because our pollster is Bill. Bill the pollster, now can we get back to Burt?"
"Sure." Josh crinkled his forehead. "Who's Burt again?"
Toby reached to his side and opened the door to the mini-bar, pulling out a tiny case of Scotch. He opened the bottle, downed it quickly, put the empty bottle back in the fridge, and continued on with his writing. "Burt is the volunteer coordinator and he thinks he found someone to be your personal aide."
"Really? Good, that's wonderful," Josh replied unenthusiastically. "Did he give you a fact sheet to show me?"
"Right here." Toby handed him the form that all the volunteers had filled out, containing all their general personal and professional backgrounds that the staff coordinators used to determine where to best use the rookies.
Josh took the piece of paper, looked at for less than a minute, and crumpled it up. "Nope, keep looking."
Toby sighed, rubbing his forehead to try to ward off the oncoming headache. "And what, may I ask, was wrong with this one?"
"This one plays tennis," Josh answered as if it made all the sense in the world.
"I'm sorry?"
"He plays tennis, he's a tennis player, he's a lover of all things tennis."
"And why in God's name.?"
"The McEnroe effect." Josh turned to find Toby looking at him like he'd grown a second head so he elaborated. "You do know who John McEnroe is, right?"
"Yeah," Toby drawled out, already knowing what he thought of this excuse.
"Well then you know about his temper. One thing on the tennis court went wrong and POP!" Josh slapped his together for emphasis. "He was gone, a certifiable nutjob. It was because he couldn't deal with the pressure of the big game: Wimbeldom, the U.S. Open, etc. You get what I'm saying?"
"Thank merciful God, no."
"What happens when it comes to election time?" Josh questioned, ignoring his friend. "When all the chips are on the table and it's do or die? This kid's gonna lose it so fast it'll make your head spin. And there could be serious emotional and physical damage inflicted on any casual standbys. I'm just looking out for the welfare of my staff."
"Or being the pathetic moron we all know and loathe you be."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Toby told him, frustrated, "that for the past three weeks, we've looked at more people for the job of Personal Aide to a Senatorial Candidate than we did when we were trying to fill a seat on the Supreme Court!"
Josh just shook his head at him. "I don't know what you're talking about. I've been perfectly reasonable and sound in the qualities I want, no check that. The qualities I need in a personal aide. None of them measured up, none of them had the game, none of them."
"Are Donna," Toby finished for him, finally voicing his opinion on the matter.
"Excuse me?" Josh asked.
"None of the people you've looked at are Donna," Toby continued as if he were explaining it to a child. "And Donna is the only one that you want to be your personal aide because she's the only one you've ever known as your personal aide and that you're comfortable with as your personal aide."
"That's just flatly." Josh trailed off his argument, knowing he couldn't win because he knew Toby was right. "Okay, it's true. So what?"
"So what? What do you mean so what? You gotta buckle down and chose someone, Boss"
"Stop calling me Boss," Josh demanded, tired of Toby's new nickname for him. "And why is it so imperative that I have someone around all the time to carry my briefcase and take notes for me on a daily basis?"
"Because it is," Toby stated stubbornly. "Because you're going to be running on all four cylinders, eighteen hours a day, for the next ten months until Election Day. You need someone there with you to keep you sane when your family and friends can't. I certainly don't want the hassle of that nor would anyone else who knows you so you're stuck getting an aide." He paused to glance at Josh. "It's nothing personal, all candidates need someone they can vent out to without having to worry about reading it in the papers or receiving divorce papers or being handed walking papers."
"Yeah," Josh agreed absently as the driver pulled up in front of his house. A fresh patch of snow from last night's storm covered the walkway and front yard. Josh could see from the abstract-looking snowman what Emma had spent her day off from school doing. "I'll meet the rest of you in about an hour," he told Toby as they stepped out of the car.
"Sure," Toby said as he walked over to where the two vans were parked to start getting people inside and back to work. "Okay people, listen up!" he said in the manner of a drill sergeant to the individuals who were stepping out of the van. "Inside now! We've got to get a man elected Senator and we've only got two hundred and eighty-eight days in which to do it. Let's get to work! Hustle up, don't make me break out the whistle again." Everyone groaned, still not used to Toby's breakneck pace, and followed him out back to the guesthouse, which was where they kept the main offices of the campaign.
Josh went into the main house and jogged up the stairs to find his family, eager to see them after a long morning of working that had started before the sun even rose. He glanced into Emma's room and found toys strewn everywhere but no sign of the girl. Then he headed over to his own bedroom, where he found two out of three of the people he wanted to see.
Emma was dressed in one of her numerous costumes that her aunt facilitated her with as a birthday present last month, a dress made of some sparkly pink material, with puffed up shoulders and a cape to go along with it. Her long blonde locks were pulled back with a pair of barrettes and Josh could see a fair amount of Donna's own makeup covering the girl's face. She was sitting on the carpeted floor, cross-legged in front of Natalie's bouncy seat. Natalie had on a simple white sleeper and her blue eyes were shining as she watched her older sister play a game of peek-a-boo with her.
"I see you!" Emma would cry as she removed her hands from over her eyes and than laugh out loud at Natalie's obvious glee. Josh smiled to himself, literally feeling the warmth enter his heart as he watched his children play with one another. The only person missing from the picturesque scene was Donna.
"And I see you, too!" Josh said as he made his presence known in the room. Emma looked right up at him and while he couldn't see her face, Josh could have sworn he heard Natalie gurgling happily at the sound of his voice.
"Daddy!" Emma launched herself towards him like a heat-seeking missile. Josh let out an involuntary groan when she collided with his stomach. 'Man, she's got the strength of a linebacker,' he thought.
"Ouff! Ease up there a little, kiddo, you're gonna break me in two," he told her as he got down on the floor with her. He pulled her onto his lap and gave her a kiss on the cheek, smelling more than a hint of Donna's perfume on her. "So did you have a good day today?"
"Yep," Emma nodded. "I played outside with Mommy and we built a snowman and we baked cookies and we played dress up and we listened to you talk on the radio and I heard you say my name to everyone!"
"Well, that sounds like a mighty exhausting day. I think someone needs to get into bed!" With that, Josh threw a laughing Emma over his shoulder and walked over to the giant four-poster bed, depositing her on it gently before he proceeded to tickle her.
In the midst of Emma's laughter, the baby started squawking from her spot, demanding her fair share of attention from her father. "And what about you, Natalie? How was your day?" leaving Emma to go pick up Natalie, cuddling her onto his shoulder while repeatedly kissing her. He and the baby joined Emma back on the bed, Josh feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulder after spending a mere five minutes with his girls. Only one person was missing from the equation.
"So where's Mommy hiding?" Josh asked Emma, who was rubbing her sister's back as the baby rested against Josh's chest.
"She's right here," he heard Donna announce from the inside of her custom- built, walk-in closet, or what Josh referred to as, "The Lair".
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get ready for the fundraiser."
"Donna, the party's not for another," he glanced at the clock, "four hours! You really need that much time to get ready?"
"Yes, I do," Donna informed as she stepped into the room, wearing a stylish silk robe, and joined her family. She took the baby from her husband and rocked her gently. "And don't complain to me about it, you never seem to when you see the end result of how gorgeous I look."
"Well I think if you drove into the recesses of your mind, you'd find that I rarely complain about anything you do."
She leaned over to give him a peck. "Nice save on that one Mister."
"Well, I do what I can." The phone started ringing and Josh reached over onto the side table to pick up the receiver. "Hello.Yes, Mrs. Haden, how are you...Oh really...Uh huh.Yes I see.Well thank you for calling.No don't worry, we'll find someone.Okay goodnight." He hung up and sighed. "Well looks like you girls are going to have to do without Mrs. Haden's spinach quiche for dinner. She can't baby-sit you guys tonight," he said to Emma.
"Yes!" she cried, raising her arms in victory. She caught her mother's stern glance. "I mean oh no!" she tried to recover.
"What happened?" Donna asked, choosing to ignore her daughter's antics for the moment.
"That stomach bug that's going around, she didn't want to expose the girls," he explained. "So who do we call now?"
Donna shrugged. "I don't know. Mrs. Haden was the only person your mom recommended and we don't know anyone else well enough that'd I trust the kids with."
"Do want to try that baby-sitting network Patty suggested?"
"Absolutely not!" Donna told him, horrified. "First off, I do not want strangers in this house, watching my children and second, why would I trust something that Patty suggested?" She paused for second, squinting her eyes. "And who is Patty anyways?"
"She's the Press Secretary, Mommy," Emma informed her.
"Wasn't that Sally?" Josh asked confused.
"No, Sally's the one that talks with the local city councils."
"That's not Sally, that's the other one," her mother contradicted. "The one with the Farrah Fawcett, circa 'Charlie's Angels' hair."
"Uh-uh, that Alice," Emma corrected. "And she's the events coordinator. Can I go play in my room now?"
"Emma," her mother said raising her eyebrows.
"I mean, may I go play in my room now?"
"Yes, you may." Emma climbed over father, laughing as he pretended to groan in agony, and scampered out of her parent's bedroom.
"Should we be worried that she seems to know more about this campaign than we do?" Josh asked his wife when Emma was gone.
"No, you're the candidate now, remember? You're not supposed to be able to remember anyone's name or job title," she assured him. "But back to the actual problem, what are we gonna do about tonight? I mean, we can't just not show up to a Democratic fundraiser being held in your honor."
"Sad but true. You'd think with a little power I'd be able to get out of one of these finally." They just sat there for a moment, relaxing in each other's company when Josh noticed something. "What's that smell?"
Donna pushed her nose close to Natalie's midsection and immediately pulled up. "Oh, I think someone didn't like her strained carrots." She started to hand the infant to Josh. "Here, it's your turn."
"No, no, no. I distinctly remember cleaning something up from her this morning that should have been handled be F.E.M.A. It's your turn," he protested holding up his hands.
"But I've cleaned up all the messes that have accumulated today from her and her older sister, who despite having no biological connection to you nevertheless seems to have picked up the same habit of overly messy eating from you."
"And I've been working my butt off all day, trying to remember people's names, give eloquent yet decisive speeches, and keep Toby from committing a felony after he read about the comments Brook's staff released to the Herald."
"Okay, this is ridiculous," Donna said, trying to put an end to the stalemate so Natalie could receive a fresh diaper. "Let's just settle this like mature adults. All right?" Josh nodded his compliance. She shifted the baby to one arm to free up her right hand. "Okay ready?" Again, he nodded to the affirmative.
They both held out their fists and in unison said, "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" They both had counted the beats of the tune with their fists and when they finished, Josh's hand was still balled up while Donna's was laying flat, palm down.
Josh moaned in defeat. "Two out a three?" he asked hopefully.
She smiled smugly at him as she handed him the baby. "The new thing of baby wipes is in the bottom drawer. Try not to go overboard on the powder this time."
"Yeah," he sighed, taking Natalie and holding her very carefully at arms length. "I think we need to get started on this potty training thing sooner rather than later, Missy," he teased as he went into the nursery.
Donna giggled and got up, going over to the phone to call Mrs. Haden back and see if she could recommend anyone else for tonight. She'd just started dialing when Toby entered the room.
"Hey, I didn't even hear you come in," she told him as she finished dialing. "Do you need him?"
"Yeah he's late for a conference call and all the interns are too afraid of him so the task of rounding him up was left to me," Toby explained, shuffling around the room. "Where is he?"
"Changing Natalie, he'll be done in a few minutes," she said, listening to the dial tone on the other end of the phone.
"Who you calling?"
"The baby-sitter canceled for tonight and I'm calling to see if she knows anyone else that can come on short notice. I mean since I can't stay behind."
"Yeah well unfortunately we need you both there tonight," Toby semi- apologized to her. "We need Josh to collect the cash and we need you for window dressing."
"Gee Toby," she chuckled lightly, still listening for an answer, "you really know how to sweep a girl off her feet. How on earth does my sister put up with your near constant romantic gestures?"
"Shut up," he told her tiredly. "You have no idea how tedious these functions can actually be. You've only attended them as a casual bystander. Here, you'll be center stage, all eyes on you. People you've never met and would never want to meet will be picking you brain for hours on end all while photographers are snapping away and you're trying to keep your husband from making a shithead of himself. It's like being in the sixth circle of hell."
"Sounds like my kinda party," Donna quipped, casting a glance at him. "If you really hate these things that much, why don't you just not go?"
"I would rather consider voting for a Republican candidate than attend another one these things," Toby answered. "And yet, for some reason, your husband is now paying for my salary. Ergo, he's making me go to this affair."
An idea formulated in Donna's head as she hung up the phone, a somewhat evil smile gracing her face as she stared at Toby.
"What?" he asked her, noticing the funny look she was giving him. "Donna, are you okay? Do I have something somewhere...?" Before Toby could continue, Josh re-entered the room, playing with the baby.
"Hey Toby what's up?" he asked casually. "Did you find a sitter yet?" he directed at Donna.
"Yep," she answered grinning. "Toby has graciously volunteered to watch the girls tonight."
"He did?" Josh asked, shocked.
"I did?" Toby responded, equally as shocked.
"Of course you did," Donna said, going to Josh and taking the baby from him. "This way, Josh and I can go to the party without worrying about leaving the girls with a stranger and you can avoid the party all together."
"Yeah but Josh said that he needed me tonight," Toby countered, even more uncomfortable with the idea of watching a six year-old and an infant than he was with going to the party.
"I think I can manage without you," Josh added, enjoying the sight of Toby's obvious discomfort.
"Really, I think there are others more qualified than I am to take care of..." his objections were halted as Donna walked over to him and placed Natalie in his arms. The baby girl immediately started flaying her arms around, trying in vain to grasp her tiny hands into Toby's beard.
"Hey don't we have a conference call to take right now?" Josh asked as he went to get his coat.
"Yeah," Toby sighed dejectedly, handing the squirming infant back to her mother. "I'll be here at seven. I'm not bathing them nor am I feeding them either."
"That'll be taken care of," Donna assured him. "Just keep them amused until bedtime without injuring them physically or psychologically in anyway."
"No problem," Toby said as he left the room, his shoulders slumped.
"That was brilliant," Josh told her as he leaned in for a kiss. They lingered on like that for a moment until Natalie started gurgling, breaking them apart. Josh bent to kiss his daughter's head. "I'll see you later," he said as he left the room.