I realized that the story 'Finding Your Wings' did not convey realistic enough feelings for my taste. So I decided to flip that story to this one since it's more realistic. Slightly anyway.
A couple weeks have past since the day at the bridge. Hawks left me his number, telling me that in case I need company or someone to talk to, give him a call and he'll come to me as soon as he possibly can. I've been alright though. Seeing my students had eased me a little more. I hate to sound selfish but it helps that dad's been spending more time with me lately. He's been having the majority of his dinners with me, too. He tried before this when he said he wanted to fix things but he's been trying harder since that day. I decided to go to his agency this time since he said he'll be late getting off work. Maybe he and I could go out to eat or something? Honestly, I just didn't feel like being at home tonight. It's a Friday, after all. I managed to make it to the hero agency by foot. Some of dad's sidekicks recognized me but I'm used to them trying to flirt with me. They didn't do that this time. I felt relieved: dad's even been fixing things here. They knew me here, so I did not need to talk with the receptionist. But then, one of his other sidekicks noticed me and ran up next to me. I was prepared to feel his arm around me like he always did several times before.
"Ms. Todoroki! Endeavor has a visitor today. Be careful going in. He didn't seem happy." The Sidekick cautioned.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Hawks." He said.
Hawks? What could be going on this time? And why would he be upset? I thought he was a huge fan of my father? I approached the door and the sidekick walked away to go about his business. I think that was the first time he spoke to me professionally, too. He usually puts an arm around me and tries asking me out. But today, he seemed a bit more on edge. Is everything alright? I hesitated outside the door. I could feel the tension before even touching the door. I decided to listen.
"So how long has this all been going on?" Hawks asked with a steely voice.
There was a long pause. I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.
"Since I married Rei." He said.
Immediately, I knew what they were talking about: our family. I opened the door a jar to hopefully disrupt the conversation but neither of them noticed. Dad was staring down at his hands on the desk, obvious remorse on his face. Hawks' back was to me but I could tell by his posture that he meant business. He was in his civillian clothes. I was frozen. I hated situations like this. I needed to do something but what? I get panicked when there's tension like this. I feel like someone is about to get hit every time. A familiar sense of panic started to set in and I felt my breathing speed up. Dad noticed me and stood up and Hawks turned to see what he was looking at.
"Fuyumi." Dad said, concerned.
I was relieved to have disrupted them but now I felt awkward. I wasn't sure what to say at first.
"Um, am I interrupting something?" I asked nervously.
Hawks was good at immediately changing his demeanor. He was also good at acting but after that conversation, I know there was no way he was genuinely happy at the moment. If he truly admired my father as much as he did, his heart is probably broken.
"No! Not at all! In fact, your dad is very busy at the moment! How about we go grab something to eat? I'll buy." He said with a smile, walking towards me hurriedly.
I looked at dad quickly and he nodded at me to go along. Hawks pulled me along with him. He was hurried for obvious reasons but I couldn't tell if he was troubled or if he was also fast when walking, too.
"Could you slow down, please?" I asked.
Hawks, however, obviously wanted out of there and fast. I had to jog a little to keep up with him. Once we were outside, he looked at me.
"How are you with heights?" He asked.
"Uh..." I said, hesitantly.
"Not sure? Let's find out." He said, picking me up and then leaping into the air.
I yelped and clung to him as he climbed into the air with me in his arms. I know Hawks normally likes to go fast but he's being rude at the moment. He didn't even let me respond. Luckily, I am okay with heights. This wouldn't be the first time I was up this high, after all. He was flying really fast though and he looked lost in thought. When we land, I'll need to have a serious talk with him about rushing me like that. Sure enough, he landed somewhere on the edge of town, near a small restaurant. He set me down and before he could do anything more, I had to stop him.
"Hawks, slow down and let me answer next time. What if I had a serious phobia of heights?" I asked.
He looked down in shame, realizing his mistake.
"Sorry about that. I just really wanted out of there." He said, bowing apologetically.
I let out a sigh. He's scaring me with his behavior. He just didn't seem to want to hold still until we go into this restaurant. I looked at the place we were at. It was a small local restaurant, not overtly popular to where it was crowded. It just seemed like one of those family owned businesses just out of the way.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"Only the place that serves the best chicken ever! I offered to promote them but they turned me down. I come here a lot. The service is great and I'm good friends with the owner. Let's go in." He said.
I followed him inside. He lead me to a table in the back corner for some privacy although I think the privacy was for his own sake than mine. The booths were pretty private, especially this one with it being in the corner and a high wall blocking off the majority of the other customers from seeing us. As we sat down, I noticed that Hawks was fidgety. He couldn't hold still very well. He was anxious. I decided to address the obvious problem after we ordered some drinks. I can't just ignore what I heard hoping that he'll calm down.
"You know now... don't you?" I asked him.
He leaned forward on the table, his shoulders slumped.
"Yeah. I didn't mean for you to hear that." He said.
I wasn't sure what else to say other than I knew that I had to bring it up just to make sure. I decided to wait for him to say something. A waiter dropped off our drinks in the mean time.
"I just... I can't believe that that rumor is true. I always thought that no pro hero of his rank would be bad enough to have an illegal quirk marriage. That's why I just assumed it was a fake news article. And the fact that he abused you guys... how did that not get out? Couldn't any of you find any help?" He asked.
I bit my lip.
"My big brother Touya tried to get the word out and that's actually where that article came from. That story costed several journalists their jobs." I said.
"Why?" Hawks asked.
"Because no one wants to hear that a pro hero like my father committed a crime. So many people came to his defense. My father never denied anything but he refused to talk about it. After that, my brothers gave up trying to find help and moved out as soon as they could. Touya hasn't talked to any of us since and Natsuo is in college." I said.
"That's... That's messed up. So that time at the park and that time at the bridge... it was because of him, wasn't it?" He asked.
"The first time, yes. That was when Shouto's quirk first developed. Until that day, dad did not do much with any of us. But when he saw that Shouto had just the kind of quirk he was hoping for, he began to train him. He was only five years old at the time. The door was always closed but my brothers and I could hear mom and Shouto begging him to stop. My brothers walked away eventually but I stayed longer I... I wanted to help. I was scared though. Dad never raised a hand to me but he never had to." I said, staring at my drink.
He leaned forward more.
"And the time at the bridge?" He asked.
"Well... He didn't do anything to me or any of us then... It's just that, well, he decided to try making it up to us a couple months before that. When he told me that, I was so happy at first. I was hoping that maybe we could finally all be a real family. But, I was stupid for thinking that. Mom still can't face him, not to mention Natsuo and Shouto both refuse to go near him. Touya is still nowhere to be found. My only comfort is that at least Shouto has a choice to see him now instead of being forced to come when he'd demand it. I guess I was hoping that everything would be alright sooner. But then it wasn't. I knew that it would take years to recover from what he did and then I got to thinking that maybe we won't. That thought just made me feel so much worse. I just didn't know what to do that would help. I still felt the same way I did when I would be frozen at the door hearing Shouto and mom cry. I didn't know what I could do to help at all and couldn't stand the idea of not being able to. I just wanted to clear my head but when I got to the bridge, my thoughts turned dangerous." I said, a lump forming in the back of my throat.
"You couldn't have done anything at the time, Fuyumi. You really shouldn't pull any blame onto yourself. Same with the situation now. You can't decide how soon any of them should recover. The only thing you can do is be there when they need someone around." He said.
Tears fell from my eyes. He reached forward and grabbed my hand. I bit my lip. I know that my thoughts on all this are probably stupid but, I wanted to know what he thought.
"I know all that but.. Is... Is it wrong that I just want a normal family? That I really do want my dad to be forgiven?... I know it's stupid but... Maybe he really is going to do everything he can for us." I said.
Hawks frowned although not in disgust, just sadness. His heart broke again, this time, for me.
"For your sake, I hope he really is trying to turn everything around. But, you need to accept the fact that your family probably won't ever be normal. You brothers and especially your mother and Shouto have every right to leave him and never look back. But you're not wrong for wanting a family. I'm really sorry but, I don't know if you'll be able to have a normal family. Not with him." He said.
I felt a sob force its way out of me and Hawks looked on sympathetically. He stood up and sat back down next to me, his wing shifting so that it was behind my back. The waiter came back but Hawks waved them off to give us a few more moments. He stayed next to me as I sat there, trying to calm myself down and keep myself from crying. Finally, I managed to calm myself down after what seemed like forever.
"Better?" He asked.
I nodded. He was about to get up but I didn't want him to. I don't know why exactly I stopped him. Maybe the selfish part of me wanted him to be closer or maybe it was because I could feel that he was also troubled. But, I hated that cold feeling I get when someone close to me leaves my side. Nevertheless, he stayed next to me and soon, we ordered our food. Hawks looked more lost in thought than ever, some of his feathers shifting against my back as he stared at the windows.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"Yeah." He said.
He was lying. I could feel it.
"You just learned your childhood hero isn't the kind of person you thought. Are you sure?" I asked.
He let out a sigh and leaned back against the booth.
"I didn't initially want to become a hero. Sure, I admired heroes but, I always figured that life wasn't for me. But then that day, when I rescued some people from an attack, a couple of people paid my family to put me through hero training. I hated it but, mom told me that if I trained hard enough, I'd be a hero just like Endeavor. And, for a long time, that was what my motivation was. My motivation evolved beyond that eventually but, for the longest time, I wanted to be a hero just to be like mine... it sounds like a joke now." he said.
"It's not a joke. Endeavor is a great hero. He just wasn't a great father." I said.
"I wouldn't exactly call someone who abuses their own family a hero." He said.
"No but, you saw how he handled villains. No one sees how heroes handle their families. The fact that you wanted to be a hero like him does not necessarily mean you aspired to be exactly the kind of person he is. My dad is good at what he does as far as being a hero goes. That doesn't always mean a hero is a great person though." I said.
Hawks gave me a look and I became flustered.
"Okay, that sounded really bad but I'm saying you aspired to be what you knew of him." Was all I could say.
He chuckled and leaned on the table again.
"I know what you meant. I just still feel very... betrayed." He said.
"I guess that's to be expected." I said.
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm a hero." He said.
"How can you not know? It can't be that bad. I mean, fame, money, the admiration, and you're saving lives." I said.
He let out a sigh.
"I'm not exactly a hero because I want to be one. It's just... my job. I have to do it." He said.
"Are you saying you don't want to be a hero?" I asked, surprised.
"Well, it's not that, either. I love the fact that I've helped so many people and I love the people who got me here. I'd let down so many people if I decided to quit." He said.
"But if you genuinely don't want to do it, wouldn't that affect your quality as a hero?" I asked.
"Fuyumi, I'm a hero because I believe it's right. It's the right thing to be doing considering my quirk. I can play with other dreams in my down time." He said.
"What are your other dreams?" I asked.
He hesitated, trying to think but then he shook his head.
"I honestly don't know. I haven't had time to think about that." He admitted.
Something felt off about that statement. There was some truth to it but there was also something about it that was a lie. But, I decided not to pry too much.
"Don't you ever take a day off?" I asked.
"I'm the number 2 hero. I can't take a lot of time off." He said.
"Don't you have anyone to go home to?" I asked.
"Nope. I live alone. I've had a few girlfriends but they didn't stay." He said.
I remember he did date for awhile. Wasn't he trying to marry one of them?
"Why's that? Didn't you try to marry someone?" I asked.
He laughed.
"I proposed after only a month of knowing her. She rejected me because I was moving too fast. Our relationship became awkward after that and she left a month later. It took me until my third girlfriend to realize that wasn't okay. I was an idiot." He chuckled.
"Wasn't she the one you were with for awhile?" I asked.
"Yeah. We were together for a little over a year. She broke up with me pretty suddenly. She didn't like how busy I got. But that one took awhile to recover from. I haven't been in a hurry to try dating anyone since she left. Figured I'd wait and see what falls in my lap." He said.
Huh. I wonder what Hawks is like to date? Did he really neglect his third girlfriend?
"Why'd you break up with the second one?" I asked.
"It was toxic. She was manipulative and knew how to make things hurt without it looking wrong. Funny enough, she broke up with me because I was too clingy. I sometimes wonder if that's why I was so distant from my next girlfriend. I don't miss her one bit but damn! That break up was traumatic. But since we're talking about my personal life, what about you?" He asked.
Oh boy! It must have shown on my face, too, because he laughed at the look on my face.
"My first boyfriend was in high school. He was with me specifically just to show off because 'he was with the prettiest girl in school'. Yeah, we didn't last long." I said.
"Yikes! Anyone else?" He asked.
"I had one more relationship in college. I liked him a lot for awhile. But, if anyone asked him why he liked me, he'd only ever either mention my looks or the fact that I was Endeavor's daughter. It took me way too long to figure out that he didn't actually care about me. I was a lot more careful with the people I'd date after that. Not a lot of people have made it past the first date." I said.
"Why's that?" He asked.
"Way too many people try dating me just because of my looks or would only have an interest if they knew who my father was. You wouldn't believe how many of my dad's sidekicks would flirt with me. Luckily, he's put a stop to that but for awhile, it was bad. I froze one of them to the floor because he wouldn't leave me alone." I said.
"Wow. You have horrible luck with men." He said.
Well... if this counts as a date, I wouldn't say that's entirely true. I shook my head and chuckled nevertheless. He was right otherwise but I think he's only here to try and comfort me after everything he heard. Our food arrived and we both ate in silence, thinking. If we were here on an actual date, my heart would have been beating a mile a minute with him sitting next to me like this. But, considering the actual circumstances that brought us here, I wouldn't consider this a date. This was something done on a whim, a quick way for Hawks to come clear his head while simultaneously keeping me away from my dad.
"Come to think of it, this has been the most free time I've had in awhile." He admitted.
"Well, if you ever need a break, you can always stop by." I said.
There was some silence as he thought for a moment. He then nodded.
"Know what? I will. As often as I can. I wanna make sure Endeavor actually means that he's not going to hurt you guys again." Hawks said.
"You don't have to. I'm sure he actually means it." I said.
"A lot of abusers say they will but rarely do they mean it. I want to see it for myself... besides, who's looking after you?" He asked.
I was touched but then I became flustered.
"Y-you don't have to look after me! I can look after myself. I'd rather not be any trouble." I said, flustered.
"By all means, trouble me. I'd rather you trouble me than get back to a bad place to where you need to be saved again." He said.
I fell silent. Is it really okay? He grabbed my hand again, his wing curling around me again, pulling me closer.
"You can trust me. I promise. I really want to help." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why what?" He asked.
"Why are you doing this for me? I barely know you." I said.
"First of all, it's the right thing to do. Second, I also want to know if Endeavor means that he's going to make it up to you. Third..." He said, hesitating as he looked me in the eye with his golden brown eyes. He seemed to be scanning me for something although not in a bad way. He was mostly pondering something.
I waited and he just stared at me for a moment. I became flustered.
"What?" I asked, adjusting my glasses nervously.
He chuckled.
"Third... I think I like you." He said.
If I wasn't flustered before, I definitely was then. He chuckled and let go of my hand, his wing loosening around me but he didn't move away. Now this was feeling like a date: my heart was beating fast and my cheeks were tinted pink. I felt awkward now. He noticed and after some time, he chuckled.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't meaning to make it awkward for you." He said.
"It's fine. It's just... It's been awhile." I said, shaking.
"So, do you just want to be friends? I'm not trying to scare you or make you uncomfortable." He said.
"No, you're fine. I... Well, I'm not closed off to the idea of being more than friends. Let's just... see where it goes." I said.
He smiled.
"Sounds good to me." He said, his wing fully draping over my back.
Despite my my red face and beating heart, I smiled. I was glad he was here... but, I just hope I can keep my family together while still trying to balance whatever develops between Hawks and I.
So, chapter 2 of this story.