Stefan's POV
I told Elena I was worried about Bonnie today, she seems to think I'm overreacting, apparently she spoke to Bonnie about everything that's been going on of late and Bonnie seems fine, Elena tells me that Bonnie is a strong person despite how timid she looks. I wanted to explain to Elena that I've been around enough people to know when someone is finding it too difficult to manage; only problem is everyone's usually wrapped up so much in themselves they don't figure it out until it's too late. I'm not trying to say Elena can't see the pain Bonnies going through, but when a person has already got so much to deal with, how can they see past their own pain.
But I see Bonnie's pain, I know what her life was like before Damon and I gate crashed Mystic Falls, when she pass's me I feel like she's calling out to someone, anyone, to notice how much she needs someone, anyone to care enough to break through her barriers to help her deal with her problems.
I want to help her, I will help her, whether she wants that help or not, I know she's a proud Bennett witch but I also know that she needs someone, she needs to share her pain, if she carries on bottling it all up its going to end badly. I won't involve Elena she seems to have enough on her plate as it is, and to be fair I don't think she'll really understand what Bonnie's going through, I'm not saying I'll understand, but with all the years I've been about I'm sure I can ease some of her suffering, but that's only if she's willing to let me in, I don't know how I'm going to get through to her as yet but I'll think of something, sometimes I feel like when I look at her she can read my thoughts which wouldn't be hard if she cast a little spell, it's been done before, and I wouldn't care if she was reading my thoughts because all she'd see is how much I want to help her and how much she's, cared for, and respected and loved by us all.
Love, she feels unloved with all that's going on, and gone on. And who can blame her, all her loved ones are gone, I know how that feels, but even I have Damon, who does Bonnie have?.
It hurts me to see her like this, I'd never confide this to Elena but the hurt I feel for Bonnie, its different, it doesn't seem to feel like general sympathy towards another mutual friend, it really does hurt me deeply in my heart to see her suffering, and it cuts me more deeply to know that it's mostly because of Damon and I, when I look into her eyes my heart yearns to help her and sometimes I worry as to why I feel so much of a connection to her, I try and brush it off , put it down to the fact that because she's done so much and lost so much, I'm bound to feel empathy for her, but deep down I know that's not what it is, I'm just going to try and ignore it and see if it passes by, I'm sure my feelings are just getting confused because I have a burning jealousy in regards to what's going on with Elena and Damon, and any psych 101 major would happily tell you I'm just trying to hurt Elena because she won't make a choice and the best person to hurt her with is Bonnie. My lovers best friend, I keep telling my brain that, but my heart feels differently, I'd never willingly hurt Elena, but I'd also never willingly hurt Bonnie any less.
Bonnie deserves so much more, but she hasn't had the chance to find a little happiness, mostly because she's always caught up in fighting the demons of Mystic Falls, I want to help her, I want to stand by her and let her see she doesn't have to do it alone. But like I said it's a matter of her letting someone in, she's build her walls up so high that even as a vampire it's pretty difficult to jump over them.
I'm gonna help her find some peace, some happiness and if that means that I'll end up losing Elena in the process then so be it, Damons complete focus is on Elena, no one and nothing else matters, and although I want to hold on to what we have I can't let it be at the expense of Bonnie losing everything. And that's why I'm gonna be there for her, what will be will be, if Bonnie can claw herself back from whatever hell pit she's fallen into then it'll be worth it. I just hope Elena will see it that way. And as for Damon, he'll continue on as he always does, leaving the aftermath for someone else to pick up.