With a snarl as Spock reached him, Jim spun and lashed out with a leg that Spock easily evaded. Without any outward expression of surprise at his captain and bond-mate reacting violently to his presence he reached out and drew Jim into his embrace. With a sigh exhaled on a sob, Jim collapsed against Spock.

Lifting his captain's face to his, Spock gently kissed him while entangling their fingers in the Vulcan version of a kiss. Breaking away slowly, Spock rested his cheek on top of Jim's head, where he began the process of calming him down enough to take him back to the bridge.

"Come now my t'hy'la, Admiral Pike still has mission parameters he must go over with you along with the rest of the command crew, as much as I wish I could protect you from this… Perhaps it is time to face the past."

Jim gave him a look that conveyed just what he thought of that suggestion. Then with a groan he walked toward the turbo lift where he waited for Spock to join him. Tilting his head at Jim, Spock broke the silence between them once more, "T'hy'la, why did you never tell me you had been on Tarsus IV?"

"I never wanted to remember it... No one was ever supposed to know, my files and involvement in Tarsus IV is confidential, not just due to Starfleets orders, but my own doing."

"That is understandable, however, as your bond-mate, I wish I had known so that I could have helped you."

"I know, I should have told you. I just couldn't bring myself to show you or tell you, I couldn't relive it." Jim took a deep breath, it was time, and Bones knew a little, but not much. The only reason he even knew was because he was Jim's doctor. That and Bones had figured most of it out on his own. No one could ever accuse the good doctor of ever being oblivious… Purposefully oblivious, yes, such as when he and Spock had gotten together, Bones had ignored it for weeks! He'd kept on calling him a horrible hobgoblin, still did in all actuality. It was as if it was their way of reaffirming to each other that they would always both of them, care for him, he had always known they would. But it appeared as if they had to reassure one another, which confounded him. One was his best friend, the other was his soul mate.

"I…" Here Jim licked his lips nervously, "I sold my body for food, we had shelter deep in the woods, yet after the famine, very little on the planet was actually edible. So I bribed guards, I bribed them with my body. I was the oldest, I was the one they looked up to, the one who was supposed to care for them. I lost so many of them… Yet, I saved just as many! When we did the project in class about Tarsus IV… I refused to do it, the only way the teacher would let me get out of it… Well… It was with the help of one of the other Nine. I can't name which one. Just that he was older. I let Kodos have his way with me, knowing that I was saving those I'd sworn to care for. Most nights, since it was heading toward the winter season on the planet, we slept in a big puppy pile, arms and legs just tangled, you could never tell where one of us ended and another began. It was the way we preferred it!"

Spock just listened as Jim let everything pour forth, wiping away the tears that slid down his bond-mates cheeks. He was sure that Jim wasn't even aware of them, he just continued on as if in a trance. Spock wondered how long Jim had wanted to tell someone, yet never could because he never trusted anyone enough.

"When the ships came… I couldn't believe it at first. We'd been told that Starfleet had abandoned us! That they had more important things to take care of, that we were just colonists, nothing to be truly concerned about. That was why Kodos killed over half the population, aside from the fact that… Well he was a murderer and a pedophile anyway."

Spock drew him close, despite knowing the soon the turbo lift doors would be opening shortly. His bond-mate, his t'hy'la needed him more than their reputations needed saving. After all, this mission would reveal to all the Admirality that he and Jim were more than Captain and First Officer. They were mated. It was an unavoidable fact, something that those who opposed Jim could not challenge.

"Take deep breaths t'hy'la, wipe those tears. We are all hear for you. Do not fear. We will not abandon you. You are a survivor, we will ensure that you remain that way. What would we do without you? You have brought us all together, you are the glue that keeps us strong."

Jim did as he was told, he knew Spock was right. There was not changing the past, he would breath and move on. He had his family right here with him. He also had Admiral Pike on his side. He always had, no matter how much of an idiot he had been.