Hmm I wonder if anyone is going to like that this is being posted... Oh well...I guess I'll find out sooner or later TTwTT
CHAPTER 1-1
"...Hmm...?"
Was it morning...?
"Umm..."
What had happened to me... ... Ah. Yes.
"...Right."
All at once, the events of the previous night rushed back. If only this was my room, I thought.
They had tied me up quite well, so all I could do was wriggle around in the bed, twisting the blankets around me. I wished - pointlessly, I knew - that I were back home, waking up on my warm futon.
"If only this were all a very strange nightmare..."
But it was not.
I had met those men the night before, and they had taken me with them...
...To the headquarters of the Shinsengumi.
"What will happen to me now...?"
I sighed, and lay down to await my fate.
It was at that moment that the door slid open, and a kind-looking man stepped through.
"I see you've woken up."
With a soft smile, he introduced himself as Inoue.
"I'm sorry we have to treat you this way... Hold on a moment. I'll loosen the ropes, all right?"
"Um..."
His smile quirked as he removed my ropes, working quickly and skillfully. My wrists, however, were left bound.
"Um... Thank you."
I bowed, and he let out a short laugh.
"Now, if you'll follow me..."
"Um...?"
"They've been discussing what to do with you since morning..." he smiled kindly again, "For now, they've decided to hear what exactly it was you saw last night."
"...Okay."
I nodded, and did my best to stand up, my body still a bit unsteady after being tied up all night.
The man who called himself Inoue was very polite and almost kind, but it was quite clear that I was to do as I was told. He must have been able to guess my thoughts, because he smiled at me and winked.
"You don't need to worry. I know they seem scary, but they're all really very nice."
"Oh..."
I wasn't sure what to think of that. Even at home I'd heard rumors of the vicious Shinsengumi.
They weren't pleasant rumors.
It was hard to imagine that the people in charge of such an organization were...nice.
Xxxx
"..."
Inoue led me to a room and opened the door. I stepped inside, and found myself surrounded by the leaders of the Shinsengumi.
Their eyes dug into me like so many knives. I froze, just past the threshold, and swallowed.
Okita was the first to notice my sudden appearance, "Good morning! I hope you slept well?"
"Oh...um..."
Perhaps it was because I was surrounded by strange men, but it was somehow comforting to see a face I recognized.
...Even if it was the face of a rather frightening man who was almost certainly willing and able to kill me.
"...Well, it wasn't particularly...comfortable."
I chose my words carefully.
"Really..."
His face twisted sideways into a grin.
"Because when I went to have a look at you earlier, you didn't budge, no matter what I poked."
...
Wait...What?!
Okita's grin widened as my face turned red. Saito rolled his eyes.
"He's only teasing you. Souji didn't go anywhere near your room."
...
Quite silent, I started at Okita.
With his grin still playing about his face, he glanced over at Saito.
"Aah, I just wanted to see you squirm a little. Not very nice of you, Hajime, calling me out like that."
...
...
I glared at him, "I don't think Saito did anything wrong. You, on the other hand..."
Hijikata was apparently fed up with our banter, "Shut it. You sound like a bunch of kids."
His voice brooked no further insubordination. Okita shrugged and was silent, but the smile stayed in his eyes.
"So Hijikata... This is your witness?"
The man who spoke... Well, he looked more like a boy than a man.
I'd imagined the leaders of the Shinsengumi to be old-or at least middle aged-men, but... They all looked quite young.
...
In fact, they looked rather like a group of young thugs...
"He's a real stick, huh? Just a kid..."
That was Toudou.
On our way from my room, Inoue had given me a brief description of the people I was about to meet. Supposedly, Toudou was the youngest Captain in the Shinsengumi.
"You're calling him a kid, Heisuke? That's rich."
The man chuckled as he spoke, but the way he looked at me suggested that there was little he missed, despite his humor.
"Right you are. To anybody else, I'll bet the two of you just look like another pair of scrawny little brats."
The man across from him nodded with brows drawn, as if he was quite serious about the subject.
However, I remembered Inoue telling me that two of the men in particular were...somewhat immature, to put it nicely. He had said the one with the short brown hair was Nagakura, and the other, with longer red hair, was Harada.
"Leave off, you grumpy old bastards."
"The hell I will, boy!" replied Nagakura, "You think you can get away with talking to us like that?!"
"Besides," started Harada, "I'm hardly mature enough to be called 'old.' Shinpachi, maybe, but...not me."
"Damn you, Sano... I thought we were friends!"
Toudou laughed, "Ha ha ha ha! C'mon, Shin! Would an adult get so worked up over something like that?"
Their back-and-forth had a feel of a routine that long predated my arrival, but they couldn't quite hide the odd inquisitive glance in my direction.
I could sense something other than simple curiosity, though - a feeling of animosity, of resentment, perhaps. Despite their cheerful levity, they had not forgiven my presence among them.
Suddenly, I wanted very much to go home.
I wanted to leave that place, and never return.
My chest tightened, and I looked down at the floor, hoping that I might just wake up at home in my bed.
"I apologize for all of this frightening behavior. Please, don't give them the pleasure of unsettling you."
"Oh..."
This man's voice was calm and warm, and I felt myself relax, even if only a little.
Hijikata appeared shocked, "Are you serious? You're the scariest out of all of us, Sanan."
There was the faintest trace of a smirk on Hijikata's lips.
As he finished speaking, the rest of the men nodded solemnly in agreement. I found it hard to believe this man could be as scary as they all seemed to think...
"Oh? How crude. I can understand their feelings, but that even our demon of a commander should think so..."
The man called Sanan smiled as he spoke and leaned back, his reposte delivered.
Hijikata said nothing, but his own smile did not leave his face.
A new voice joined the conversation, "You're lucky to have a friend like Sanan, Toshi."
…
Hijikata and Sanan had sounded so cold when they'd spoken to one another, not what I would have called 'friendly'.
Still, the man who had spoken had certainly sounded as though he thought they were friends.
The man then turn his attention to me, "Oh, my apologies. I haven't introduced myself. I am Isami Kondou, Chief of the Shinsengumi."
The most important man in the Shinsengumi, then.
"Toshi over there is the commander, and Sanan is our colonel."
Hijikata sighed in exasperation, "Ah...Kondou? Why are you telling him all this?"
Kondou glanced at him with a worried expression, "Uh... Why, do you think it's a bad idea?"
Nagakura crossed his arms seeming annoyed, "Well, unless you really think this kid needs to know all our secrets, maybe you should keep your mouth shut."
Toudou nodded in agreement, "Exactly! Why bother anyway? We don't owe this kid anything."
Harada glanced over at Kondou and let out a bark of laughter.
"True, but it's not like telling 'im will hurt us."
Kondou had looked rather disappointed when Hijikata spoke but he perked up at Harada's words.
I'd scarcely known him for five minutes, but already I could see that he was well-liked by his men. He had that sort of charisma that simply drew you in. A man who was impossible to hate.
"...Well, let's get back to the business at hand. Can you run through what happened last night?"
Kondou's glance moved to Saito, who gave a small nod and began to speak.
"Last night we were on patrol when we encountered some wandering ronin. They drew steel, so we fought. Some of our men subdued the ronin, in doing so exposed their failure."
As he finished, Saito turned to look at me. I swallowed and forced my mouth to open.
"I didn't see anything."
Hijikata softened a little at my response, but Saito remained expressionless and the smile on Okita's face didn't change.
"Huh. You sure you didn't see anything?" Toudou asked.
"Yes, I didn't see anything."
I hoped that if I said it enough times, they might start to believe me.
At least Toudou seemed satisfied with my statement, "Really... Well, if that's true, then I don't see what the problem is."
However, Nagakura was not, "Hold on a minute. I thought Souji said you helped out some of our men or something..."
"No! That's not true!"
I glanced over at Okita, but his smile still hadn't changed. Whatever he was thinking was a mystery to me.
"I was running away from the ronin... And then some people with Shinsengumi uniforms showed up... Really, they sort of rescued me."
Nagakura's eyes seemed to say "Ah Ha!"
"Then that means you saw them slicing up those ronin, right?"
"U-Um..."
I couldn't exactly deny that.
...But I knew that if I just shut up then, they'd know for sure that I was lying...
Harada sighed heavily, "So in other words, you actually saw everything. The whole ugly business."
"Um..."
I was completely at a loss.
Harada moved his gaze to mine, "You've got an honest heart. That's not really a bad thing, but..."
I wasn't sure what to make of Harada's words.
My presence had not been a good thing for the Shinsengumi. Would their next words be the ones that condemned me to death for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?
My voice shook, but I knew I had to try.
"I... I won't tell anyone! I promise!"
Sanan spoke this time, "It seems unlikely this attack was mere chance. Then again, I have no reason to think you're an enemy either." His smile was now more of a straight line, "Even if you do not intend to tell anyone, you could be captured; interrogated. I doubt you could withstand torture."
"*Whimper*"
His voice was still warm, but his words were cold, and I began to feel my chances at life slip away.
"It's easy enough to stay quiet, but if someone should try to coerce you, you've no reason to keep our secrets." Saito's voice was soft, un-cruel.
Okita smirked, "We don't have any kind of guarantee that you'll keep your word. It wouldn't be very smart to just let you go."
They had a point, but...
His smirk deepened and he crossed his arms, "Let's just kill the kid. You want to keep someone quiet, that's the only sure way."
"B-But-!"
I looked desperately at Kondou, who gave Okita a reproving look.
"Don't be so cold, Souji. What do we gain by murdering a civilian?"
Okita's smile disappeared, and he looked down at the floor.
He sighed and glanced back to his friend, "Oh don't give me that look. I was just kidding."
Saito appeared annoyed, "Then perhaps it should have sounded like it."
Okita made an attempt at a derisive snort and looked intently at a wall, his face slightly red.
Inoue seemed disturbed by the turn this conversation had taken, "But surely, there must be something we can do? After all, we're talking about a child..."
Sanan also seemed concerned, "I've no wish to kill him either, but we can't discount the chance that he could reveal information about us."
Sanan paused for a moment, his brows furrowed, then turned to Hijikata.
"I would like to hear the commander's opinion."
With the responsibility of his position invoked, Hijikata had no choice. He sighed, and glanced around the room.
"Last night we had to kill some men who broke the code. This kid was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Sanan narrowed his eyes, "And I imagine you mean to say that's all there is to it?"
Hijikata sighed again, "Well, he probably saw something, but I doubt he really understands what it was."
The room became silent and then Nagakura spoke, "Even so, this is serious. We have bigger things to think about. We have to keep this under wraps. If rumors get out that the soldiers of the Shinsengumi are thirsty for blood, that would be problematic."
Shinpachi's words made sense, and they all knew it.
Hijikata's face looked grim.
"I think Souji has a point," said Harada, "...Still, I'll do whatever Hijikata and Kondou tell me to."
Toudou frowned, "I think we oughta let 'im go."
He clearly was troubled.
"It's not like he knows why they went nuts, you know?"
...Wait, what did he mean by that?
To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it.
Hijikata saw my eyes go wide, and I saw his narrow. They flicked to Toudou.
"Shut it, Heisuke."
No sooner were the words out of Hijikata's mouth than Toudou clapped both hands over his own.
Okita's smile was back, "Uh oh. Well, this is going to make it even harder for us to just let you go..."
"*whimper*"
Nagakura seemed annoyed now, "A man should always be ready to face death. You should make your peace with yours."
A man...?
...
"Oh!"
They thought I was a boy.
With everything else that had happened, I'd completely forgotten how I was dressed.
Harada smiled kindly, "Very true. A brave death is always an option. When I was young, I committed Honorable suicide."
At this Nagakura laughed, "...Although it didn't really stick did it Sano?"
Their jokes were...barbaric...but they both broke into raucous laughter at them.
Saito did his best to ignore them.
"Hijikata... Since we can't seem to reach a consensus, can I send the child back to his room?"
As he spoke, Saito turned to look at me.
"If you hear something you shouldn't while you're here, then we'll have no choice but to kill you."
"Ah!"
He was right.
If I remained with them then I could easily hear something I wasn't supposed to.
I didn't think he'd mentioned it for my sake - only as a possible concern for the Shinsengumi - but I was still glad he'd brought it up.
Hijikata nodded, "True. Can you take care of him?"
Saito nodded.
Sanan sighed and smiled, "I agree. There are too many careless men here."
Nagakura grimaced, "C'mon, Sanan... What're you looking at me for?"
Harada smiled, "That oughta be pretty obvious. We're in charge of being careless. Especially you, Heisuke."
Toudou suddenly looked guilty, "H-Hey! Back off! It was just a mistake, all right?"
I could hear his voice rise as everyone turned to look at him. He looked at them for a bit, then turned to me and mumbled in a voice I could barely hear, "I...I'm sorry."
...
"Um..."
I was still afraid that I was about to die, so I couldn't bring myself to tell him no harm had been done, but he looked as though he'd meant what he said, so I gave him an awkward nod. It was the most I could manage.
My attention was brought back to Saito by his soft voice, "Shall we go?"
"A-All right."
Xxxxxx
After they had taken me back to me room, I sat there for a time, looking down at my bound hands.
"Hmm..."
The rumors I'd heard had said the Shinsengumi were cruel, vicious men, but they'd seemed much more human than that.
Then again, even as I sat there they were deciding whether or not to kill me...
"I don't think they want to kill me, but... It seems like they think they might not have a choice."
If I didn't defend myself somehow, I'd most likely be killed.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to convince them, though..."
However they might have felt about me, it was clear that their priority was the welfare of the Shinsengumi.
"Oh...right..."
They all still thought I was a boy.
Perhaps if I told them I was a girl, they might reconsider...
...Or perhaps they wouldn't, or perhaps that would make my predicament worse somehow.
I had no idea what to do next.
But really it was clear what had to be done...I would have to try to escape.
And that meant I needed to get moving immediately. Staying in that room wasn't likely to improve my chances.
Fortunately, they hadn't bothered to tie me up completely again. Only my hands were bound. That would slow me down, certainly, but so long as I could move my legs, I definitely had a chance.
"All right, now the exit is..."
I cast my memory back to when they'd brought me into the building the night before.
"...Right."
It should work. It had to work.
I stood up.
Holding my breath, I edged toward the door. Leaving this way was rather rude, but I hardly had a choice.
With my toe, I reached for the door...
I was almost there when suddenly it flew open all on its own, revealing –
"What?!"
"Aaaah!"
I stumbled straight into Kondou.
I shook my head and looked up to find Sanan had also entered the room, "Oh my... Well, that was rather bold. You meant to run away, I assume?"
"Um..."
He smiled in a gentle yet cold sort of way, "Trying to run was not wise. It will only make your situation more difficult."
His voice was calm and not unfriendly, but his eyes were as cold as ice.
"..."
Too late, I realized why they hadn't bothered to tie me up again. They'd been watching me.
I looked back to the doorway and saw Hijikata gazing grimly at me, "I told you once, and I won't do it again. Run, and I'll gut you."
His voice was low, and filled with quiet rage.
Okita suddenly came into view, "Sorry, but now we've got to kill you. We can't trust a kid who can't keep a promise."
He smiled. Though, he didn't look very sorry.
I clearly had no choice but to make a run for it!
If I was going to die anyway, then I had nothing to lose by trying to escape.
Slipping around a stunned Kondou, I took off down the hallway.
"Did you really think you could escape?"
"Ah!"
Hijikata snatched me from the floor in one smooth motion, with the grace of a great cat.
"L-Let me go!"
"You think I'm stupid? You'll just try to run. No."
His voice was angry. I squirmed and twisted, but I could not escape.
"But I don't want to die!"
My voice threatened to waver with fear, but I hoped volume would mask it.
"And I...I... There's something I have to do!"
Hijikata's expression softened, "Hmph. And what's that, huh? What makes a girl put on pants and run around Kyoto pretending she's a boy?"
"Um..."
...
"...Huh?"
...
"Um...sir..."
He did not look happy.
"Did...did you just say 'girl'?"
I was scared, there was no denying it. Sanan looked at us and nodded.
"I see. Then you really were a girl."
"Huh...?"
Okita chuckled, "C'mon, you really thought putting on a pair of pants was going to fool us? Even an idiot could see you're a girl."
"What?!"
Had... Had they really known all along?
I wasn't quite sure what to think.
Kondou, however, "Oh Isami Kondou, you fool! This is the embarrassment of a lifetime! How could I not have realized?!"
"..."
...Well, perhaps they hadn't all known. His reaction, I confess, made me feel a little better.
Hijikata blinked at his friend in disbelief and turned back to me, "You almost got killed for it, whatever it is. Maybe it's time you spilled your guts, kid."
I looked back at him and nodded.
Xxxxxx
There I was, surrounded once again by the leaders of the Shinsengumi.
"I did think you were rather pretty, but to think you were in fact a lady all this time..."
As Kondou spoke, he was nodding his head solemnly, over and over, as if he were agreeing with a very intelligent suggestion.
Toudou stared for a moment and then, "Once you know she's a girl, she really doesn't look like a boy at all, does she?"
Something about that seemed to impress him.
Inoue appeared very troubled, "Then we bound a girl and left her for an entire night...? Oh dear."
He looked at me, his eyes concerned.
Each of them took the news...differently.
Nagakura narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, "Well, 'she' claims to be a girl, but it's not like we have any actual proof, right?"
"P-Proof?!"
Harada laughed. Nagakura grumbled to himself under his breath.
Still grinning, Harada said, "Proof? Really? Not obvious enough for ya, huh? All right, will you feel better if I strip her down?"
"Please, don't—!"
"No! You absolutely will not! Even suggesting such a thing is preposterous!"
Kondou shot up before I had even finished, his face bright red, but Harada's words hadn't had any malice behind them.
The red haired man frowned, "I just figured it was the quickest way to settle the question..."
He shrugged, and settled back into his seat. Nagakura had crossed his arms, and his brows were knit.
"Well...if you really are a girl, then... Killing just feels kinda...wrong."
Hijikata scowled, "It doesn't matter. If we have to kill her, she dies."
His words left no room for argument.
Sanan had his own opinion on the matter, "Gender is irrelevant. Killing in general is wrong." He glanced at his commander, "We were organized to protect the public good in the city of Kyoto. We would ill serve the public good by murdering civilians in cold blood."
Okita smirked again, "Yeah, yeah. But if this girl, or boy, is a threat to the peace, that's an entirely different story."
The Shinsengumi didn't enjoy a shining reputation already. If rumors began to spread that their men were thirsty for blood, things weren't likely to go well for them.
They wouldn't be able to operate in Kyoto, and with no one to protect the people, the city would eventually fall into chaos.
I could see in their eyes that each one of them knew full well the consequences rash actions could have.
Kondou cleared his throat, "Well then, we need only determine if you are a threat. Will you tell us your side of the story?"
I could feel their eyes on me. The room went quiet.
"My name is Chizuru Yukimura."
I told them everything. How I lived in Edo. How I'd come to Kyoto to find my father...
"Oh, then you're from Edo as well? And you came all the way to Kyoto to find your father?!"
I could see emotion welling up in Kondou's eyes as he spoke. "What business did your father have in Kyoto?"
"My father was a doctor. His name is Kodo Yukimura, and he specializes in western medicine—"
Hijikata's eyes widened, "What?!"
"Huh...?"
The moment my father's name crossed my lips, the atmosphere in the room changed.
"Oh my... So the good doctor Kodo has a daughter?"
I looked at Sanan, "You know my father...?"
I wasn't sure what the sudden silence meant, only that the revelation of my parentage had caused a pronounced change in their behavior.
It was Saito who finally broke the silence.
"The Shinsengumi is currently attempting to determine the whereabouts of Dr. Kodo Yukimura."
"You're after my father?! Why?!"
Okita shook his head and smiled at me, "Oh, now, you've got us all wrong. We're not, uh, after him."
"Oh... I see."
Tension that I hadn't noticed appear began to dissipate.
Okita continued, "He's a fellow supporter of the shogun, but... Well, he kind of disappeared a little while ago."
"There's a reasonable chance that the enemies of the shogun have identified him as a threat." Saito added.
"Ah!"
My eyes went wide, but Saito kept talking as if I'd done nothing.
"There is also a chance, of course, that he's still alive. Doctors trained in western medicine are valuable and rare."
I wasn't sure what else to do, so I nodded.
My heart pounded in my chest, threatening to burst out onto the floor.
"Father..."
Was he safe?
Sanan glanced at me reassuringly, "But with you, we have a much better chance of finding the good doctor."
"...Huh?"
Sanan continued. Apparently my father had only visited a small number of times. I understood then what he'd meant: It would be difficult for them to track down someone they barely knew.
"You are his daughter, however. You ought to be able to recognize him no matter how he may have disguised himself, yes?"
"...Yes, I could."
I nodded as I spoke, and gave him what I hoped was a steady, reassuring smile.
Hijikata appeared annoyed yet slightly relieved, "Well, if she is his daughter, we can't really kill her, can we..."
"...Which means more work for me." his eyes added. They narrowed as he looked down at me.
"If you swear you'll forget about what you saw last night, then we'll look after you until you can find your father. Fair?"
Kondou nodded in agreement, "I promise that the Shinsengumi will do whatever they can to help you find Dr. Kodo!"
"Th-Thank you so much!"
I'd never imagined something like this!
Not only had I survived, I'd found my first decent lead.
Okita smirked at me, "You must be pretty glad we won't be killing you, huh? ...Well, won't be killing you just now, at any rate."
He gave me that same wolfish grin.
There was no denying my situation was still less than desirable, but at the moment I didn't care.
"Yes. I'm very glad."
I'd been through a lot, but at last I'd found help, and where I'd never have expected it: the Shinsengumi.
Kyoto hadn't been kind to me, even though I'd been there less than a day, but it looked as though my fortunes were taking a turn for the better. I still had a long way to go, and I had worries aplenty, but it was important to stay optimistic.
Kondou suddenly appeared concerned, "I'd prefer to place you in the custody of the Judiciary Commissioner or the Aizu rather than keep you in a house full of men, but..."
He let the sentence hang in the air, and looked at me, his arms folded.
It was clear I had no choice but to stay with the Shinsengumi.
Saito glanced at me, "Should you require anything, you need only ask. We will do what we can to accommodate you."
"Oh..."
His expression didn't change, but his words were unexpectedly warm. I looked away from him awkwardly, but I still felt the heat rise in my cheeks.
"Thank you..."
Nagakura grinned, "W-well, I guess we'll have to be nicer to you now that we know you're a girl."
Toudou laughed, "You're always nice to the ladies, Shin. Sure didn't take long for you to change your tune once you figured out she was a girl though, huh?"
Harada chuckled as well, "Ah, whatever. Having a lady here at headquarters is sure gonna brighten things up, won't it?"
"Um..."
I wasn't entirely sure that would be the outcome.
"Still, we can hardly treat her as one of our soldiers," said Sanan, "Something else must be done with her."
Hijikata seemed annoyed again, "Then make her a page or something. You want an assistant, Kondou? How about you, Sanan?"
He gave a small shrug. Whatever was done with me, it seemed he no longer cared.
Okita smirked at him, "Oh, come on now, Hijikata. It's your idea, you can't just pawn her off on someone else."
Kondou clearly agreed on this, "Ah, excellent! I believe we can trust Toshi with her!"
Kondou's face split with a wide smile, and he slapped his leg in agreement.
Sanan smiled at him, "Well, there you have it, Hijikata. I hope you'll take good care of her."
His smile had more than a little of a mocking twist to it.
...
...
"...You sons of bitches." Hijikata clearly did not appreciate me being dumped on him.
"Um..."
As I watched their back-and-forth, some of my earlier relief began to ebb away...
What was going to happen to me?