Chapter 2

Rumors

There's a terrible rumor going around Bullworth, a rumor that you are secretly living up in the schools bell tower. It's a bit ridiculous really, you aren't living up here, you just need place to sneak off to, to get away from your parents. Neither of them have tried to stop you. They know you're sneaking out early every morning, but you suspect that it's what keeps them sane. The image that you've left for school each day instead of believing you've been expelled.

And well… technically you are going to school, but instead of attending classes, you're breaking into the school so that you can sneak up to the roof.

Maybe you should just move up here, it wasn't a bad place for sleeping, and you could just eat the birds since they don't even bother flying away anymore. It makes you wonder though, had someone seen you up here?

Because it's not like you're up here prancing around for everyone to see. No, your body is too bruised and sore for you to do that. You stick to the shadows and wait until its dark until you move around. Nah, the morons at this school couldn't know that you're here; it must have just been some gossip someone stirred up to get people talking.

If you think about it, it's actually really sad, having to leave the comfort of your own home just to sneak back to the place where you lost everything to good old Jimmy Hopkins. You figured that seeing him every day would be the worst part, but it turns out that another person is the one driving you insane, especially when he's trailing behind Jimmy like a kitten chasing a yellow string.

You shift your back against the wall behind you, seeing Petey every day… seeing him so willing to follow Jimmy, it puts your stomach in knots. It's forced a deep craving to set in and it's the kind of craving that you're not okay with, a craving that strains against your ego and everything you've made yourself to be. It makes you itch in a way that only Petey can scratch.

You hate him.

How is it that someone so weak and effeminate is driving you this insane?

He keeps pushing his way into your mind, shattering all other thoughts. You swear you can hear his voice in your ears begging you to stop right as you push into his familiar, blissful tightness.

Your dark eyes pierce through the night sky watching insects frantically swarm around one of the schools streetlights. A gentle breeze blows through the late night air, lifting your hair, and your mind just won't quit. It's been a week and three days since you've been expelled, ten full days since you've had something to distract your never ending thoughts. All you've had is your aching body, the never ending rage of defeat… and Petey.

He was even showing up in your dreams, and sure not all of them are dirty, instead he just stands there, in the background, haunting you.

You'll never admit how badly you want him; because you've convinced yourself that it's just your way of controlling him. No way there's any attraction.

You run a hand through your short brown hair, tugging at its roots for sanity before looking away from the streetlamp. Black dots dance around your vision because you've been staring at the light for too long and suddenly you break out in this low, hushed rant. Stringing as many curse words as you can think of to that little moron's name. And you're very creative when it comes to swearing.

"Okay, yeah sure! You win Femme-boy!" The rest of your rant falls back into cursing. This time, however, it's more at yourself than anyone else.

Not long after that you give up, rubbing the heels of your palms against your eyes. Somehow this was all Petey's fault, because he's just so girly. His fault because of his honey brown eyes that are always following you, like he wants something, but whenever you try to give it to him, he twists around in your grip and begs you to stop. It's his fault because no matter what you say or do to him, he always takes you back. Why is it that he has to feel so good? Why can't it be someone else, anyone else?

But it's too late… because you've already claimed him as yours. He's been yours ever since that day you spoke to him in the lunch line, back in the eighth grade.

You just can't swallow the fact that you want him as badly as you image he wants you. Because as Gary Smith, you can't want anyone. Wanting someone is weak and you despise weak people. You have to be hard and unfeeling; that's the only way you can survive.

Yet this little moron, so pathetic and defenseless; who was always around you with that longing look hidden beneath his upturned eyebrows, just won't disappear from your mind.

He haunts you when you can think of nothing else.

But it's because Petey stops the ticking thoughts better than any medication. When you're controlling him, your mind dulls and just lets things happen.

You hate to say it but… you need your medication. You grind your teeth together. It will at least put you to sleep for a while, and keep your mind from running back to Petey. You push yourself up to your feet, groaning in pain as you do. Jimmy really did a number on you… His fists… were like iron. You frown, before creeping your way up the ladder, beginning your way home.

The early morning sun leaks past the bent, broken shades, spilling into the small dorm room. The warm rays of light highlight all the cracks that trail the dirty yellow walls, and make his eyelids glow bright red, destroying the darkness, making him stir. He turns his face away from the brightness yanking him into consciousness. A low, exhausted moan sounds in his throat. Peter Kowalski sighs, hearing his radio alarm kick on with a static-ridden version of a song he doesn't like. Exhaustion floods him, making his body feel weighted, too heavy to move. He hadn't really slept well since Gary had gotten expelled. He was… worried about him.

"It's your last day Pete," He whispers to himself, trying to find motivation to get out of the bed.

Would anyone even notice if he just stayed in bed? Pete lifts a hand to his face, wiping his eyes to try and wake himself up, then he shuts off his alarm and turns on his side, facing Gary's half of the room. An empty, rusted out bed frame stares back at him. It was Gary's bed, or what was left of it anyway. When he had been expelled the prefects came and took his mattress, for summer cleaning… or something. And now Gary's half of the room is just a constant reminder that he's really gone. Pete's eyes roam over Gary's shelves, all of his books and things missing, the wood floor bare where his clothes should be scattered everywhere.

"Petey come bunk with me in my room," Gary had said to him after they had been friends for a couple of days. Of course Pete was eager to move in with someone else, his original roommate, Fatty Johnson, had a horrible stink about him. And even then he was already fascinated with Gary. His dark brown eyes, his strength, that scar cutting down the right side of his face.

He sees one of his pillows laying on the floor, and reaches down to grab it. Back when he and Gary were in the eighth grade they created a game of throwing their pillows at each other… One morning in particular when they were freshmen; it was a Friday and he woken up before Gary… he quickly grabbed his pillow and hurled it across the room managing to land it right in Gary's face.

He heard Gary grumble and within a few seconds his pillow came flying back with a vengeance. It hit his shoulder because by then he was already sitting up in his bed. Gary's eyes slid up into his with a dangerous playfulness. And for some reason, Pete got brave and slid out of his bed, running over and hitting him with the pillow again. He shrieked when Gary managed to grab his waist and pull him down onto the bed, and within seconds Gary is on top on him, tickling him everywhere.

"Gary, st- haha, Stop," Pete was screaming through fits of laughter, trying to jerk away from Gary's fingers, and seeing Gary truly smiling.

"Can't stop Petey, gotta tickle you to death."

And by now Pete's face is blood red, and he's gasping hysterically.

"I-I can't breathe!"

But even still he grabs Gary's sides and squeezes, making Gary laugh and squirm, "You little snake," he shouted. Then he starts trying to hold Pete down, making it transform into a sort of wrestle-tickle fight, and how either of them managed to be this hyper in the morning is still a mystery.

Eventually the energy melts away and they're both just laying there, Gary on top of Pete.

"Come on Gary," Pete finally says, trying to lift Gary off of him. "We need to get ready for class.

They were only freshman, and things between them were still new and weird, but when Gary's eyes slid up into his, Pete understood. And he let Gary lead him out of his pajamas and into that heated, dizzying embrace. They lost their entire morning to each other, and both received detention for skipping class… Pete shuddered, coming back from his memory. Gary really hadn't really tried to force him… it just happened. He sits up in his bed, fixing his twisted nightshirt.

'Why can't I just be happy that he's gone like everyone else?

And everyone was happy that he'd been expelled, because they'd all been victims of his lies. But that wasn't enough to keep them from talking about him; he was Bullworth's personal celebrity.

Even the people in town talked about him. Then again… turning the entire school into a battle ground within hours, tying the principal to a chair, and crashing through a skylight and living… it all was pretty incredible.

But it wasn't just the epic retellings of the final showdown; it was also the rumors of where he was now. Most kids believed he'd been sent to Happy Volts, the town's Insane Asylum, others claimed he'd been thrown in jail. But Pete found that the most popular rumor the worst. The rumor claimed that Gary was secretly living up in the school's bell tower where he and Jimmy fought their last battle.

Pete hated it so much because of how possible it was. Pete had met Gary's parents out the two times he actually went to Gary's house, and both times Gary's father came across as cold and uncaring with an authoritative air about him that made Pete stand straighter and hold his breath.

If it was that bad when everything was normal, it must have been hellish for Gary now that he'd been expelled. They probably made it as terrible as possible for him, with underhanded comments and snide remarks designed to break him apart. If it was as bad as Pete imagined then why wouldn't he be up there?

Or maybe he was so far out of his mind that he ran up there.

Pete shudders, throwing back his blankets and starting his morning routine, maybe that would distract him for a while.

"All students please report to the football field, thank you," the school secretary's, Ms. Danvers, voice calls over the intercom. Pete had just finished pulling on his royal blue Bullworth sweater vest.

Each year on the last day Bullworth has a sort of field day where they reward all graduating seniors, pass out yearbooks and allow the students to dance around the football field until their parents arrive to pick them up. This year was rumored to be something special because of all the craziness from Gary's expulsion.

It would probably be Jimmy retelling the story for everyone again, then receiving some sort of medal or something, and then basking in the attention of all the students and teachers.

Pete throws his pajamas into his suitcase before pulling the lid closed. Then he squeezes out into the huge crowd of boys exiting the dorm. It wasn't that he didn't want Jimmy to enjoy his well-earned fame, but he just couldn't picture Gary getting the snot beat out of him anymore.

He hoped that his father came to pick him up early this year. As the huge crowd of shouting boys' scoots along he wonders if he should go see the principal. Pete was Head Boy now, maybe he'd have more errands to do than normal. Pete sure hoped so; anything to keep his mind off of Gary.

Finally he makes it outside; the air is crisp and the sky is bluer than it's been in days. As the group pushes along, he hears a couple of girls, who merged with the group earlier, chatting.

"I don't know Angie," Christy Martin says, flipping her red hair, "it sounds kind of stupid for Gary to be in the bell tower."

Angie's face scrunches behind her glasses. "I swear I have seen him up there."

Pete wishes he could plug his ears or something, he can't stand it!

Christy laughs. "Next you'll tell me something crazy like, he's a werewolf!"

The crowd rounds the corner, and as they pass in front of the school Pete actually has to shove his way through to get out of the throng of students. He keeps his eyes on his feet, making sure his vision never meets Gary's rumored hide away.

Pete pushes through the main doors of the school building, it is eerily deserted with all the students and teacher elsewhere, and it almost doesn't feel right.

Finally they get to him

"I swear I've seen him up there," She sounded so serious. "…It sounds kind of stupid…" that's right, it's stupid… people can't live on roofs without being noticed. This school was bad, sure, but not that bad… right? But I've seen Gary sneak right by prefects in the middle of the night tons of times… maybe…Don't do this Pete… he is not up there.'

When Pete comes back to his senses he's nearly at the top of the steps. When he steps up onto the second floor he's nearly mowed over by a very stressed-out Ms. Danvers.

"Oh," she squeaks, "I apologize Peter," she says, taking a deep breath. Her voice is rushed, and she's carrying a huge stack of folders. "What are you doing here boy? You're supposed to be at the football field."

"Isn't there anything I can do," Pete meets her eye contact "a-as head boy?"

"Of course not, Dr. Crabblesnitch wanted you to enjoy your last day so, you get the day off." She smiles a bit dreamily, "He's such a kind, brilliant man."

Pete tries not to gag. He was really hoping that there was something he could do to keep him occupied while the school partied away over the expulsion of Gary.

"Now," Ms. Danvers says, "I must be going; I need to take these to Dr. Crabblesnitch."

She starts down the main staircase and calls over her shoulder, "Please don't stick around Peter, you know where to go." She makes brief eye contact, as if to reinstate her authority and then turns to make her way down the main stairwell, her heels clicking loudly as she hurries down the steps. Within a couple of minutes she is gone.

Here he was… all alone with his thoughts again.

He knew he wasn't supposed to be here… but the football field just wasn't for him…

Pete absently wanders into the office, wondering around behind the desk. Maybe he could sneak back to the dorm and watch T.V. or maybe the library was still open, there were a couple of books that he still wanted to read. As he walks around aimlessly thinking and running his fingers along the desk, something shiny gleams and catches his eye. He shouldn't have even thought twice about it, he should have just kept walking, but his eyes freeze on a heap of keys on a single ring, the mix of gold and silver taunt him, it was the master set of keys to the school building, completely unguarded.

"I'm sorry Peter,' His memory recalls Ms. Danvers saying, "After all the damage Gary caused, the master keys are off limits to students."

But Pete's thoughts take off, racing way too far ahead of him.

These were the keys Gary used to get to the roof; these were the answers to the rumors. Pete straightens up and looks over his shoulder, making sure no one is around. Then he leans forward and pulls the keys in his hands. The metal is cool on his skin and the keys jingle loudly as they hit each other. Pete takes a deep breath. If he went up there, he could prove to himself that Gary isn't there. He could put the rumors to rest… for good. He looks through the keys, searching for the right one; each one has a piece of tape on them telling what they unlock. Nothing for the roof…

'Gary must have the key, no… no he's not up there… but…' he drops the keys back onto the desk with a loud clunk, and scrambles out of the office, to a door he's walked by a million times and never thought twice about. The words, in bold white, evenly spaced lettering, come into his vision. Roof Access, they say. A strange fear is rising in his throat, and Pete is noticing everything. How dark this area of the hallway is, the hum of the air conditioning. He swallows, looking through the small window on the door in front of him. A dark set if stairs lead to another door at the top. If Gary had the key… then the doors would be unlocked.

'He's not up there. If this door is locked, then I'm going to the football field and that's it.'

His hand wraps around the cool metal of the door knob, and then with his eyes sealed shut and his heart throbbing in his ears, making them pulsate, Pete twists the handle.

The door creaks as it opens.

It was… unlocked…

His mouth falls open, and he stands in the open doorway in disbelief.

His thoughts scramble around his mind, cutting each other off and bumping into one another.

Was this real?

Had this door ever really been locked in the first place?

Or was Gary really there…?

'He's not there… this is just…'

He feels sweat on his neck and his eyes, now wide with fear, dart over his shoulder once more. Looking for someone, anyone, to stop him from going up, but no one is around, and he bolts, running up that dark staircase and scrambling out onto a small concrete platform.

He squints when he is bathed in sunlight once more, he walks to the edge of the platform as he looks down he sees two large fans spinning, and tons of vents expelling steam into the air. The butterflies in his stomach seem to calm slightly, the roof was actually really cool.

He could either go up to the bell tower… or down onto the main roof where the fans spin.

'The rumors claim that he's up in the bell tower, and I don't see him around down here…'

Pete turns toward the ladder leading up. 'What do I do… what if he really is up there… what will he do if he spots me…'

His hand wraps around the metal step of the ladder. 'Don't be a wimp, just go,'

And with that Pete begins to pull himself up.

There was a loud slam of a metal door and you jolt awake, at first you think you dreamed it, until you start hearing the horrifying sound of feet thumping against concrete. Someone else was up here.

This is bad! So bad, you can't afford to get caught up here, they'd make it like you're crazier than everyone already thinks.

You hold your breath and push yourself up from the ground. You actually have to bite your lip to keep quiet. That's how much it hurts to stand. You stay close to the wall and you've never been so thankful to be on the opposite side of the roof away from the door.

When you finally make it your feet you can hear your unwanted visitor's feet clanking against a ladder and you'll admit that your heart starts beating faster. You creep along the wall making your way to the corner before peaking around. There's only one exit, you need to find out where he is and which way he is going so you can high tail it out of here the first chance you get.

You stay completely silent, making sure not to even breathe too loudly, and you're looking over your shoulder every couple of minutes to make sure they don't come up behind you. The sound of feet clanking against ladder starts up again, and when you peak around the corner of the wall your heart rate skyrockets, you see him, pink sleeves and all, hanging on to the ladder to the bell tower.

It was Petey!?

Petey freaking Kowalski!?

He'd nearly given you a heart attack!

What the hell is he doing up here?!

A thought slowly works it way into your head as you watch him climb upward. He is Head Boy now… what if Crabblesnitch sent him up here to find you?

This could be bad… You're not sure what will happen if he sees you… He disappears over the ladder and onto the bell tower roof and you hate the way your heart is racing.

It feels like it's been years since you've seen him, but in reality it had only been about four months since December when you and him were together in the bathroom together. You close your eyes and lean back into the wall, four months… and now you're remembering how badly you wanted him last night.

'How long till this moron leaves,' you wonder, you peek around the corner again to see if you can see him, but you don't. Suddenly your palms go itchy. You want him so bad you can almost taste him.

And hey, maybe it was fate that he showed up here, right when you want him.

It isn't long until you find out that he isn't leaving! Instead he comes trumping down the ladder and taunts you by standing near the door and then climbing down the ladder to the main roof. He wasn't giving up; he was seriously looking for you.

You can't handle this!

Seeing him, it reminded you of everything you wanted to forget! But you can't do it, can't bring yourself to leave, because if he was here, then you would have him.

Aside from the awesome view, the bell tower was too damaged for anyone to live up there. When the bells started ringing, it was too loud for Pete to handle. He quickly made his way back down the ladder.

Now, after searching the entire roof he's back where he started, staring out over the grounds.

'He wasn't up here, you checked everywhere and yet you couldn't find him.'

He was gone.

He's been gone ever since he got expelled.

It's exactly what you told yourself, it's exactly what you wanted.

Pain swells up in his stomach, how could he be so stupid? Like a child, believing in something unrealistic.

The wind tugs on his clothes and he slowly sinks to the cool concrete, pulling his knees up to his chest.

How could it end like this? Was it because he chose Jimmy instead? Was it because he showed up in the bathroom?

How could he be gone?

'Just give up, it's too much,' Pete's brain says. He bites his lip; he wanted Gary back for so long, hoping that things could just go back to the way they used to be. There's an uncomfortable burning behind his eyes, it makes his throat clench up, but he refuses to cry.

"This is all my fault… I knew what was happening… I could have stopped him, called for help or something… I didn't have to give up to him back then…'

He releases his knees and lies back on the concrete, feeling all the exhaustion from this morning rushing back to meet him.

"Ok Gary, I give up. I hope I never see you again."

He stares into the endless blue sky, the higher it goes the bluer it gets. He feels his eyelids drooping, and somewhere in the distance he can hear a train whistle blowing faintly. In the next second he's picturing himself on that train, lying in the car, hearing the wheels against the tracks, and feeling the car vibrate as it carries him far, far away from this little town and all of its unforgiving memories.

He sighs; if that happened…then he'd be free.

His eyelids sink, and when his eyes close, he's asleep.

Your watch says it's been an hour since he came thumping back down that ladder, you're not sure though. It hasn't really worked correctly since you crashed through Crabblesnitch's skylight. Either way, it's been some time since he's made any noise and you're starting to wonder if he left and you didn't hear it. You push yourself back up and make your way around the corner. At first you don't see him, but then you catch sight of him on the ground. You wonder vaguely if he's dead.

You stay quiet and walk out of the safety of the shadows, and if this is a trap… then he's smarter than you ever thought. You stop when you're right next to him, the palm of your hand meeting your face in frustration. He wasn't dead; he was asleep… Which, for Petey, was pretty much the same thing. He could sleep through a tornado and not hear a thing.

He's completely out of it with his eyes twitching, his mouth slightly open, and his chest rising and falling in slow even breaths.

How could he be so stupid, leaving himself completely open to you? Was there something wrong with his brain?

You circle around him, silently stalking your prey. Your stomach aches slightly, because even after all the time that's past you still want him. You crouch down next to him, gasping a little in pain when you do and examine him. He looks different to you, like your memory of him was disoriented and your mind filled in the holes with something close but not exactly him.

Now that you're so close to him you see how much he's changed. Even though he was lying down he looks taller, and his hair had grown out a bit to. Not too much though, just enough to where it sticks off of his head, enough to make you want to run your fingers through it. Its making you miss him. You bare your teeth and mentally kick yourself for that one.

Everything had changed so fast but you were still the same Gary right? Wasn't he the same Petey?

He has to be, he can't change! He's too pathetic to change without you… right?

The next thing you know you're leaned over him, staring down at his sleeping face. Then you grab his shirt and slowly pull it untucked. All you need is something, one little thing to show you that he's still the same weak, little wimp, that keeps you awake at night.

You push his clothing upward, and when his pale skin comes into sight you literally have to stop yourself from leaning forward to taste him. Your eyes roam over his small stomach and then you spot what you've been looking for. Right there, on his lower stomach, reaching below the lip of his school slacks, and following the ever-so-slight curve of his hip. The scar still remained.

It was late in the evening and you and your new roommate are doing homework, it's a bit harder to adjust to than you expected, having someone move in. But you asked him to bunk with you before you got forced to share with someone you didn't like. You're concentrating on the chapter review questions in your science book when his voice distracts you.

"U-um, how did you get that scar, on your eye," Petey asks, when you look up he's staring at you with this insanely eager look in his eyes.

All the more reason not to tell him.

You glare up at him from over your text book and shift your back against the wall you're leaned against. Gee, you hardly even know this… Femme-boy… it's been what… two weeks since he got here? Four days since he moved into your room? He already wants to dive into the traumas permanently scarred on your face?

How brave.

"Not telling," you say. It's not something you're supposed to tell, and well, you already have a fondness for torturing him. You smirk when he deflates a bit.

"Why not," he asks, his voice whining slightly.

His brown eyes look at you sadly and out of all the endless things you could say, you go for something easy.

What? It's late and your science homework is giving you a headache, and you don't really know enough about Petey McEagerness to start telling him about your past.

"I'll tell you when you're older."

It's silent for a moment and you're just about to turn back to your homework when he suddenly stands fumbling with his shirt, pulling it untucked. Naturally your interest peaks. You smirk when he walks over to you with his shirt held up, you can still remember the way his stomach muscles moved as he approached you.

"Is this some kind of foreplay Petey?"

His face turns red, and even though you've barley know him a week, you swear you're already hooked on embarrassing him.

"Look," he finally says when he's standing at the side of your bed. He points to his hip, making the long, dark scar seemingly appear against his skin.

"I've got a scar too," he whispers.

For some reason, your heart starts thudding in your ears making them buzz. Suddenly you want to push him around a bit. You toss your textbook onto the mattress and scoot until you're sitting on the side of your bed with him standing between your legs. You reach up and place your hands on his hips, which causes him to squeak a little. But when you look up to see his face, it's turned, looking somewhere else in the room. The underside of his chin bobs up and down when he swallows. Your eyes return to his stomach.

"This is a pretty nice scar you got here Petey-boy," You say, then you lean closer to his skin and slowly exhale air though your nose. He shudders slightly, and goose-bumps rise across his skin. Whatever this was, you must be doing it right.

"How did you obtain this," you ask. When you look back up at him again, he's even redder then before.

"It- uh… it was my appendix," He goes on, telling you the gist of the story, but you don't hear him. His words blend in with the buzz in your ears, and keep wondering how he would react if you were to suddenly lean forward and lick his skin.

Petey sure was braver in the past, walking up to you with his shirt held up.

You smirk, Petey still had his scar and you still had yours. You pull away from him, groaning as you stand up. He shifts suddenly and you freeze, watching as his eyes slide open, confused. His eyes go completely round, and he stares at you with a look of horror and all the color drains his face.

"Gary," he whispers and he sounds just as horrified as he looks.

Well this wasn't supposed to happen. You figured that since he slept like the dead he wouldn't hear you.

You watch as he scrambles to his feet.

A low, pained groan sounds in his ears and everything comes flooding back in a rush. The roof, the searching, the trains… Had he fallen asleep? His eyes slide open only to grow as fear races up his spine. A pair of legs, standing near him, he was in trouble now. He could tell they were a man's legs, but as his eyes travel up he stops worrying that they belong to Crabblesnitch and starts believing they belong to…

His eyes are now sliding up his waist, and this can't be real. He'd given up! He was supposed to not be here, he was supposed to be gone.

Pete's heart starts racing so fast that everything seems unreal. Like he's not seeing everything, like he's not thinking like himself. It feels like his brain is shutting down, and he can only think with what's left of it. This must be the only spot that exists in the world right now. This spot, and nothing else. Then his eyes hit him. He's looking down at you with this confused, angry, almost fearful expression. His skin is tan like he's been out in the sun too much, and his face and skin are riddled with cuts and scabs.

But it's him… and when his name comes floating through his brain, he doesn't want to say it. Saying it would make him real.

"Gary," he whispers, scooting backwards to get away.

This must be a nightmare…

Now in a panic, Pete scrambles to his feet.

"Why hello there, friend," His wickedly familiar voice says. His legs start carrying him backwards, toward the exit. Immediately Gary starts advancing toward him.

'Run,' his brain keeps screaming, 'run!' and so Pete turns preparing to bolt, but before he can move Gary's hand closes around his wrist.

Panic shoots up his spine so quickly that he actually sways a little in temporary blindness.

"Now don't run off Petey, let's chat," Gary says pulling him back and draping his arm around his neck. "You know," he continues, "It was pretty rude of you, barging in without even knocking," he leans forward and his lips tickle against the back of his neck.

And already it's too much. This is just like before… he has to get away.

"Tisk, tisk," Gary clicks his tongue, "Didn't anyone ever teach you any manners?"

'You're still dreaming,' Pete thinks, squeezing his eyes shut, 'Wake up!' but when his eyes open, Gary is still behind him.

"So lay it on me Petey dear, what are you doing up here?" The arm around his neck loosens a little.

Pete stands in a tight shock, his breath shaky. "G-g-Gary, You're-" he stutters, gasping several times in a row.

You're not supposed to be here; that's what he wants to say.

"Breathe Petey," Gary says getting closer, his chest pressing against his back. "Don't faint on me."

Petey starts squirming around like a terrified animal, and it makes you unhappy. You actually have to work to hold him, and it's hurting your sore body. When he finally starts talking his voice is all breathy and panicked and he keeps nervously licking his lips, which sends your skin crawling up your arms.

"I- You aren't s-supposed to be here," he says, pulling against your grip. "What are you- L-let me go."

"I can't do that Petey, can't have you running off to tell Jimmy or Crabblesnitch that I'm up here."

"I won't," Petey answers too quickly. You chuckle and lean closer to his neck, kissing behind his ear. He goes rigid.

"Don't, don't touch m-me," he says in a tiny voice.

You snort, "Or what, exactly?"

He's leaning away, "Please," he says, and you press your face into his neck, slipping your fingers under his untucked shirt.

"Don't," his voice calls, getting louder in volume, his hands are around yours, trying to push them off.

Then one of his arms move, you think nothing of it until his elbow comes flying back as slams you, right in your fractured, aching ribs.

This horrible noise escapes your throat when crippling pains shots across your torso. You release him in an instant, cursing and sputtering and tears actually come to your eyes.

Pete backs away slowly as Gary crumbles to the ground, and his eyes, filled with fury, glare up at him. Pete gasps, unable to remember the last time he'd seen Gary this angry. Suddenly Pete realizes that this is his chance to get away, and he turns running toward that ladder, hauling himself up to the platform where the only exit is.

He hears Gary shout his name and realizes that Gary is chasing behind him. He's makes it to the door, his fingers grabbing for the knob, but before he can pull it open an arm wraps around his waist and jerks him away. He's flipped around to face him and his back is slammed into the brick wall behind him. He opens his mouth to scream, or protest or something, but Gary's hand slaps over his lips.

"Shut your mouth," he demands, his voice deadly.

Pete freezes up immediately.

"We aren't quite finished yet Petey."

Everything goes blurry for a second, and then Gary's body pushes up into his, his hand leaving his mouth.

"Gary, please, let me go, I-I won't tell anyone, I- just- let m-"

"That hurt quite a lot there, Femme-boy. I didn't know you had it in you. And what's this, now you don't like me anymore, all done with the big bad villains nowadays, huh? Jimmy's your hero now, right?"

Pete flattens against the wall, trying to squirm out of his grip.

His eyebrows slant up toward each other and he squeaks when Gary pokes him harshly, "You knew how badly I wanted to run this school, but you just had to help Jimmy take me down," There is a wild spark in Gary's dark eyes. "A moron like him, he couldn't have done any of it without someone smart like you! That way you could take Head Boy away from me, isn't that right!? Just can't let me get what I want!"

"Gary!"

Pete grabs the others arm, shaking it slightly, watching him snap back to reality. His eyes slide back into eye contact with his.

"That's not true," Pete whispers. He breaks eye contact, feeling Gary's chest rise as he inhales deeply. His eyelids hide his dark eyes, making the scar on the right a fully connected line, and it's silent for a few moments until he seems to calm slightly.

"Looks like my prescription isn't strong enough," Gary whispers darkly.

It makes Pete shudder, and start pushing to get away again.

"H-how could you think I tried to steal Head Boy away from you Gary," He says, pushing before looking up into Gary's eyes. "It was all Jimmy's idea, I-I mean, you were there when it happened! Or were you too much of a bloody wreck to even hear correctly after Jimmy beat the hell out of you!?"

It's out of his mouth before he can stop it, and Gary's eyes sparks with rage. A fist slams into Pete's stomach making the air gush out of his lungs.

"Please continue Petey, I would love to hear it," Gary growls.

Common sense is screaming for Pete to shut up but instead Pete continues.

"You're jealous," He wheezes, "because I chose Jimmy over you."

All the rage in your body goes cold.

How dare he?!

He wasn't quitting, he was still blabbering even though you clearly told him to shut up. Had he forgotten again? Forgotten that he was yours? How many times will you need tell this twerp?

You need to dominate; you pull back and slam your fist into his stomach once more, smirking in satisfaction when he cries out in pain. You watch a tear slide down his face. He leans into you, and you actually have to support him to keep him from falling, and it feels good.

Pete's vision spots black and for a second all he can see are Gary's teeth sneering at him. It takes a few seconds for him to realize the hot tears rolling down his cheeks, he quickly wipes them away.

"Are you done running your mouth," Gary's voice, low and ruthless growls in his ears.

It makes his stomach fill with anger, but the pain there is what keeps him quiet.

His brown eyes glare up at Gary, making him smirk victoriously.

"Now, where were we Petey? I think we were discussing something important."

"Gary, let me go; I have to go. I swear I-I won't tell you're here."

Gary's eyes flash, "You won't," he says, and it's not a question. It's a demand. Then a coy smile paints its way onto Gary's lips, and he shakes his head, "But that wasn't what we were talking about."

The grip against Pete's body loosens, and just as he tries to run Gary spins him to face the wall and slams him against it. His cheek hurts where the bricks rub against his skin.

"I think you were saying you didn't like me anymore," he snorts suddenly in laughter and forces Pete's hands against the wall. "Is that the truth Petey? Did you and Jimmy fall in love while I was away?"

Pete squirms, trying to get Gary's hands off of his wrists. "No, no Gary, quit!"

One of Gary's hands releases his wrist, and wraps around Pete's stomach, sliding down.

"What's this, nothing to say? Well if you're so sure that you don't like me; let's see what this still does."

The hand on his stomach slides down until Gary gropes his groin. Pete jerks in his grip, shoving Gary's hand with his.

"No," he shouts, feeling his face redden.

And then Gary's hand squeezes.

"Don't worry," he snickers, "I'm sure it will be wonderfully easy to convince."

Gary's other hand release Pete's, and he quickly unzips Pete's slacks.

"Gary stop," Pete says, struggling to shove his hands away, his back arches when Gary's hand is squeezing through his boxers.

"Haah, no," he says, his voice whining low.

"I don't know Petey, this might like me after all," He says before slipping his hand under his boxers, brushing over the hardening skin.

"Stop, stop," Pete whines, trying to arch away, he makes a small ooh sound when Gary's hand closes around him and slides down in the first stroke

The pleasure lightly zaps through his nerve endings, and already he's sweating.

Gary's hands are dry and tight and constant, and already his body wants to give up, falling too quickly under Gary's spell.

Blood seems to be against him as it rushes down his body, right below his belt line. It's humiliating, because no matter how badly he doesn't want it to, his attraction, his blood, defies him.

Gary's voice chuckles in his ear, making Pete shudder, "seems to like me quite a bit now, hmm?'

"B-bastard," Pete sneers, and Gary runs his finger harshly over the tip, forcing Pete to moan out.

Gary shoves his underwear down, pulling him out, and it quickly becomes the only thing Pete can feel; his hand moving so fast, up and down, up and down.

His heart is slamming against his ribs as he begs him to stop.

The pleasure is growing hot and swelling in his stomach, "Gary please," Pete begs, his hands hurting from trying to grip the brick wall. "No more, please," he whines, hips bucking suddenly. Gary's teeth bite against his skin lightly, and suddenly heat races up Pete's spine as Gary presses closer with his hand never losing speed.

"Gary, nnn-no," Pete moans, chasing the tight heat of his hands with every thrust. He moves one of his hands on the wall to grip Gary's wrist, feeling the muscles in his hands moving, squeezing. Now his protests are broken by pants, his entire body is on fire, it's been so long, he can't wait. His legs spread, tightening the pressure in his stomach. His neck arches back as he groans.

"St-st-ah, slow d-down," he whines, his back arching, his breath hitching in pleasure.

Gary chuckles behind him, "You seem pretty turned on, just like this," he says, taunting the boy by increasing his pace.

"No! I-c-can't!" He moans, squeezes Gary's hand, trying to slow him.

It's pulsing now, his blood is on fire.

He shouldn't… oh but it's hurting… he can't, not to Gary's hand...

He feels Gary's tongue sliding up his neck, he's pumping so fast, it's all so hot, he can't do it anymore.

"Stop, n-no, Gary, I-I'm-"

"Do it," Gary says and Pete aches, hips rolling into those fingers as everything comes undone in a hot rush. He collapses against the wall, panting and trembling as he cums in short spurts. His forehead hits the brick, and his eyes slide down. Gary's hand… the roof floor… even the wall… covered. His body had betrayed him for Gary once more.

"You monster."

Gary's voice vibrates slightly in his ear, "Don't flatter me."

After a couple of seconds Gary grabs Pete's arm and spins him.

"You must miss me terribly," Gary's voice is saying, "There was so much saved up; won't Jimmy relieve you?"

He kisses against Pete's neck, up his jaw line, under his chin, right up to his bottom lip. And Pete gasps, before pushing against Gary's shoulders. "Stop," Pete says, but he freezes up when Gary's mouth is suddenly hovering close. Pete's eyes, which had been sealed shut, snap open, but he finds Gary's eyes shut, and he looks angry. His mouth suddenly dips closer and his face angles so he can kiss easier.

Then his lips actually bump yours.

'You can't give in anymore; if you kiss him…things will never change.'

Panic shots up Pete's throat. It was his mouth, touching yours. Taunting you with what you've always wanted from him.

Their lips bump again, and this time Gary lingers making their lips stick together as he pulls back. This little noise of want slips past Pete's lips.

'You told yourself you were going to get over him.'

Pete's heart flutters, and the air is suddenly tightening. Gary's mouth begins to lean forward again.

But Pete turns away. "No Gary," he says.

He pulls away, his eyes opening, "Still resisting, I see," and then he pulls away.

Straightening up before taking a small step away, he turns and makes his way to the roof door, before pulling it open and walking out without even looking back.

Suddenly he is all alone.

He could feel it swelling in his chest, the want.

He wants to kiss Petey, wants to lean forward and press their lips together.

So when their lips bump together again, the sensation of them sticking together makes Gary's body ache strangely.

It was like he's wanted this for a long time, but wouldn't allow it. Now it was time to take it.

Gary feels Petey's body trembling in his grip as he leans closer; this time was it. This time they kiss.

The space between their mouths is disappearing fast, and the air is tightening around them. Then something you never expected.

Petey turns away.

His small voice whispering, "No Gary,"

In a second Gary realizes what he's doing and leans back. His body is aching with want, telling him to go further.

'Take him!' His brain demands, 'take him!'

But he steps back, watching Petey fall into the wall behind him.

A wave of disgust swirls in Gary's stomach, he can't let himself want this boy. He wanted to control him, and that's what he did. And he can't allow himself to want to kiss him. Gary takes a step backward, before turning and heading for the door. Forcing himself to not look back.

Your body is burning where he's hands have been, and you think you might puke. He did it, he abused your body, and now he was leaving.

You're sinking against the wall, your bottom lip trembling. And you're not sure if you should chase him or let him go.

You wanted to let him go… but now, he was going to kiss you. If you hadn't stopped him, then he might be thrusting up inside of you instead of walking away.

What did this mean? Gary never wanted to kiss, ever. But now suddenly, he was only stopping because you turned your head? That had never stopped him before!

You pull your pants back up before scrambling back into the building, down the steps, your heart pounding. You make it to the main staircase, and you're looking everywhere.

Where is he?

Now you're rushing outside, looking around in the clear day, and he's nowhere.

He's gone again; he slipped right through your fingers.

It comes crashing down on you like a ton of bricks, what if that was your last chance?

What if he never comes back?

'Don't cry! This is what you wanted! You wanted to get away from him!'

"No," you sob out, "I didn't…"

And now the tears are running down your face, you take off running to the only safe place you can think off, the boys' dorm. When your door slams behind you, the pain that has been hidden away for so long feels like it bursts open in your chest and you crumble to the floor.

What had you just thrown away?

Gary always treated you like nothing more than his puppet, but back there on the roof, a few moments ago, he wanted to do something he'd never let you do.

Were you really nothing more than just a toy to him?

Why can't it just be like it was before, when it wasn't about control. The tears start back up again, blurring your vision as they streak down your face.

Boys weren't supposed to cry, even if you did things with him that boys should never do. Boys weren't supposed to get upset about psychopaths getting expelled, boys weren't supposed to wear pink and fall in love with other boys just because they're tall and strong and confident and because they actually wanted to be your friend.

But you really weren't much a boy though, not really a girl either, just a femme-boy…

And just like that you crumble into the hardwood floor, sobbing like every bone in your body has been snapped in half.

He really did it… he broke you and finally all the pain is ripping out of your chest, the tears are rushing out of your eyes and you're weeping like you're doing it to win the Oscars.

It sounds so stupid, but you still remember the time you realized you were wanting more than friendship from him; it was right here in this room. You were sitting at the desk, trying to finish your homework when you said, "Gary, I just don't get this." And he stood up, walked over, and leaned over your shoulder. His breathing was deep and calm, and somehow he smelled so good to you. You actually leaned back against him and kept staring at his neck until he said. "This one is wrong." And you jumped.

Why hadn't you tired to force your feelings away? Why didn't you know any better?

You take a few deep breaths, before wiping your face and nose, and then pull yourself off the ground only to fall into your bed. As you curl into a ball, crying silently, you're remembering the way he smiled at you that day back when you were freshman tossing pillows. The way it wasn't about control, the way he hadn't forced you.

Exhaustion takes hold of him, making his eyes droop. This couldn't be the end, because Gary always came back, and you always accepted him. His eyes slide shut and he falls into a deep slumber. It was the only way he could deal with this right now… sleep…

It would be four days until he saw Gary again.