Chapter 1: The Fire

It was cold. More importantly it was wet and I don't like wet. My brain was telling me to just turn around, to let him go. How in the hell was I ever going to catch up with him? I guess my heart was hoping that this was all a cruel joke, one that we would laugh at later and of course one that I would forgive him for. My feet trudged onward, deeper into the black forest. I yelled out his name every few seconds and stumbled more often. I couldn't really see anything. The rain was soaking me to the bone, my hair matted down onto my face and the trees let barely any moonlight through. I faintly heard Charlie's voice in the back of my mind telling me to go straight home. He wouldn't approve of me wandering a dark forest alone in a torrential downpour.

I yelled out to my lost love again, my voice coming out in a rasp. I stumbled on what my mind could only guess was a fallen log and I fell into the greenery, curling up in a ball and sobbing. I would never find him. This wasn't a joke. Edward had left me for good. I could barely hear the rain or my own sobs as I began to slip into unconsciousness. The last feeling I had was the massive hole that had opened up where my heart was supposed to be.

...

I wasn't sure how long it had been, but my senses came back to me at some point. I could smell smoke and I could hear the sound of fire crackling as it burned through wood. I refused to open my eyes, to face the truth that Edward had left me. I was still cold and definitely still wet, but my hands were warm as they rested on a smooth, hard surface. It rose and fell. In the distance was the sound of sirens.

"Bella, my name is Sam Uley. Are you hurt?" The man named Sam had a deep, unwavering voice full of authority. I felt compelled to answer him but I refused to open my eyes or speak, so I just shook my head weakly. Sam fell silent.

I felt like we had been walking for an eternity. The crackling sound of fire and strong smoke smell stayed steady with us. Faint voices became louder in the distance, shouting to contain the fire and make sure no one was in the forest.

"Charlie! Over here!" Sam shouted, which made me wince.

I heard multiple footsteps run through grass and a lot of panting. There was a lot of commotion at once, a lot of people talking. I heard my name a lot. I tried to tune everything out. The hole in my chest ached. Something else was also there, but I had no desire to dig deeper into the mess that was my despair. Romeo and Juliet had nothing on the way I felt. I felt another pair of arms wrap around me and became weightless for a split second before being caught.

"Thank you, Sam." Charlie's voice was hoarse, he must have been shouting for ahwile. "Bells, are you okay? We'll get you inside and dried off. How close were you to that fire? Oh my god, you've got burns all over you!" Charlie's voice cracked as he went into a panic. "Get the ambulance!"

...

I woke up to the smell of sterile latex gloves. Slowly, I opened my eyes, squinting. This was a hospital room; I knew that from experience. A gray haired nurse was wrapping my arm in gauze, humming quietly to herself. I let out a small grunt, which in turn made the nurse stop and her head whip around to look at my face. She gave me a soft smile, the kind my mother would give me when I was upset and she was trying to soothe me.

"Hello, Bella. You've been out for quite some time. The Chief is just outside in the hallway talking with the doctor. Let me go get them. Try to rest sweetie, you're going to be fine." The nurse cooed and left the room. I had been tended by her before, but could never remember her name.

My senses began to become sharper the longer I stared at the white-paneled ceiling and I could smell flowers somewhere in the room. Lilac? My neck was stiff but I managed to turn my head enough to see a table filled with flowers, get-well-soon cards and balloons. That was never a good sign. The nurse said I had been out for awhile. My definition and hers must be different because awhile for me didn't mean multiple days. A soft knocking came from the doorway. I slowly turned my head to the sound as Charlie peered in, his eyes red and worry written all over his face. His sadness made him look older. He hurried over to my bed and sat in a chair that was obviously occupied by him day and night, a blanket hanging over the arm being the tell tale sign.

"Hey there, Bells." He smiled softly and spoke quietly, "How are feeling?"

My vision became blurry as I made my own torrential downpour out of tears. Everything flooded back to me at that moment. He was gone; they all were. Charlie let me cry as he stared at the ground, obviously uncomfortable. My fit went on for about twenty minutes until it slowed to a quiet, tearless sob.

"I'm sure you're in a lot of pain but the doctor already has you at the maximum amount of medication for your burns. Most of them are only second degree, so they shouldn't leave much damage. You've been out for a few days now. Doctor Cullen checked in on you right when we pulled in, but I was told that he was only here to give his notice. I guess the whole Cullen family moved. Is that why you were out in the woods?" Charlie was a mixture of worried parent and dutiful Chief.

I nodded silently, not trusting my voice or my tear ducts. Charlie just sighed, obviously upset that I was left alone in the woods. I stared at him for a few minutes while I was sure he was thinking about calling his culprit and demanding answers. I couldn't think of his name. However, another thought came to my mind. I wasn't in any pain. I was supposedly burned head to toe from fire. At the same time, I didn't feel loopy like the pain meds usually made me feel. In fact, physically I felt fine; except for the massive black hole in my chest which sucked out all of my happiness.

I made an effort to speak, my voice barely a whisper, "Dad, why was there a fire? I mean, it was raining super hard. How could someone start a fire?"

My voice pulled Charlie from his thoughts, his lips pulled down at the corners. "We actually don't know Bells. To tell you the truth, no one could actually stop the fire. A few minutes after we got the hospital I got a call saying they had contained it and it apparently receded pretty quickly. But nothing the firemen were doing was really working. I was so worried about you."

"No one could stop it? It was that big? How did you get me out?" My mind was racing, my depression giving me temporary short term memory loss.

"It was massive, burned up a good chunk of the forest. It actually licked the side of the house, I'm going to have to replace some siding. As for you, well, I'm lucky that I still have you. Sam, one of the boys from the reservation, came walking out of the forest just a few minutes before it got to the house. He was burned too, but refused medical attention. I hope he got some though. I was too focused on you to see what happened with him." Charlie gave me a small smile which I tried to return, unsuccessfully.

Another light rap on the door turned both of our heads. Long black hair filled the doorway, in the center of the mass was a smiling Jacob. Charlie beckoned him in. Jacob entered first and Billie tagged along behind him, another set of flowers in his lap. Charlie greeted them, I just stared at the ceiling. They spoke for a few moments before Charlie set the flowers on the table and he and Billie ventured off to the cafeteria to find food for me; I wasn't very hungry.

Jacob took Charlie's seat, still smiling, but I could tell that his eyes were worried. His smile was usually infectious and it got me to give him a small grin. He gave me a once over, which almost broke his façade. I must not have looked very good in the hospital gown and wrappings.

"I'm glad you're awake, Bells. You had me- er- us worried." Jacob's voice was strong, as if he was determined to not show weakness. "You sure have a lot of friends, it smells like a flower shop in here!" Jacob stared at the mountain of gifts on the table.

"Thanks for coming, Jake." I reached out and patted his hand. A thought struck me and while I was in no shape or mood to flirt the truth out of Jacob this time, I was positive our friendship would do it for me. "Hey, Jake. Do you know Sam? I don't know his last name."

Jake's smile disappeared completely and he dropped his head, staring at his boots. "There's a couple of Sam's at the reservation Bells. I don't think I know which one you're talking about."

"Um, let me think. He pulled me out of the fire. Were you there that night? Maybe you saw him, he was carrying me." I pushed a little bit, my voice weak.

Jacob sighed and gave me a small nod, picking at a loose thread on his dirty jeans. It was clear that he didn't want to talk about him and I wasn't feeling anywhere near well enough to be discussing other peoples problems, so I let it go. I patted his hand one more time and returned it to my lap. We sat in silence until Charlie and Billie came back with the spoils of their food adventure. They ate as I contemplated the weirdness of my life and tried not to cry.

...

My burns healed pretty quickly, although a few of the worst ones took a couple of months. I never felt any pain from them; honestly I didn't feel much of anything since the hole in my chest formed. I was numb. I went to school, did my chores, and slept. Charlie was worried about me, threatened to send me to go live with Renee, but I wasn't going to do that to her. He pleaded with me to go hang out with friends, telling me that it would help; it might have, but I wasn't going to try. Everything seemed dull. Jacob called me a few times, but after trying to get a response from me he stopped.

I dreamt about fire and ice. Occasionally the fire would melt the ice, and other times the ice would overcome the fire. Sometimes they cancelled each other out; those were the rare nights that I didn't wake up screaming. On those occasions my chest felt like it was burning, as if all of the pain I never felt from my injuries summed up into one moment. That made me scream.

...

"Bella, I am tired." Charlie sighed, exasperated. "I know it's hard to lose someone that you love. I lost your mother and it was my fault and I have to live with that. But, he left you because his family moved. It's been months of depression. Honestly, I'm thinking of sending you to a rehab center if you don't go out with your friends."

I snapped out of my thoughtless stare and gave Charlie a blank look. This was a first; a rehab center. It was drastic, although maybe only to me. He knew I would put up a fight if it wasn't in Forks, so I knew at least he would keep me close. But being caged up was the last thing I wanted even if I was caging myself up in the house.

"I'll call Jacob." My voice was dead. I rarely spoke, teachers never called on me anymore. I made a mental note to try and sound happier even if I wasn't. "He wanted to hang out. Maybe we can go see a movie or go hiking." Charlie just shook his head and left for work; it was a Saturday.

I stared out of the kitchen window, a light fog from the rain obscuring my view of the forest. I could see my reflection; it wasn't pretty. My hair had grown long, down to the back of my knees, and was disheveled. I lacked a proper haircut. My nails were actually pretty long too, but those I trimmed regularly; they just seemed to always grow faster than they used to. I had bags under my eyes, of course, and chapped lips. Definitely not pretty. But I knew that if Jacob did want to hang out, he wouldn't judge me for my appearance.

I called Billie's house phone twice to get the answering machine. I left a voicemail letting them know I was heading over and if Jake wanted to hang out I wanted to find something to do. I tried to make my voice as enthusiastic as I could; I'm not sure if it worked.

I climbed into my beat up old truck, not even wincing at the loud pop it made from startup. The drove to the reservation wasn't a long one and I arrived at Jacob's without even realizing I had missed the worn down Quileute sign on the boundary. The front door opened and Jacob came sprinting outside, the biggest smile on his face. He was like a ray of sunshine. I rolled down my window, not wanting to step out of the rain until I knew he wanted to hang out.

"Bella! I just got your message. You got here fast; I thought I drove like a maniac!" Jacob joked leaning into the window.

"Hi Jake," I gave him a small smile, "did you want to hang out? I brought my rain coat, maybe we can go for a walk on the beach?" I didn't sound convincing, but it didn't matter to him. He nodded enthusiastically and I hopped out of the truck.

We walked down to La Push, the rocky beach a variety of different shades of gray. Jacob did most of the talking. He was very proud about how his muscle growth had been coming along, even more so that he apparently didn't work out. I found it hard to believe; he was huge. Jake didn't ask how I was, but that was obvious. Instead he seemed intent on cheering me up. We stopped at the same bone white tree stump that we had talked at before. I sat down, rolling up my sleeves as the rain stopped, while he skipped rocks. I couldn't help but feel a bit more cheerful around him.

"Hey, Jake." I spoke quietly, knowing I was probably about to mess up his mood, "I don't mean to be that person, but in the hospital when I spoke about Sam, you seemed upset. Why is that?"

He didn't reply immediately and stopped midway through his next throw. Jacob dropped the rock and came to sit next to me, looking at the stirring gray clouds. I could tell he was warring with himself on what he wanted to share, which made me want to comfort him. I set my hand on top of his and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Sam is different. He used to be cool and nice. But, he's changed. All of the Elders think he's a saint but he looks at me and my friends weird. He has two lackys, Jared and Paul. They just stare at us like they want to beat us up. You know Sam refused medical treatment for his burns that night? But I saw him the next day and he was fine; he always runs around shirtless. I just get a bad feeling." Jacob seemed genuinly scared, which angered me.

The burning in my chest flared up and I fell off of the stump, paralyzed. Jacob was quick and caught me but I couldn't feel his grasp. All I could feel was the fire. I let out a scream and yelled to Jacob, "Help me! Please, it burns! It feels like my skin is falling off!"

I was able to open my eyes and look up at Jacob, who had a horrified expression on his face. He was sweating and I could see why. In the reflection of his black eyes, I could see that the skin of my arm had began to actually melt away. It looked like the slime you would play with as a kid. It didn't look like muscle or bone was revealing itself either, but I passed out before I could see what else it could have been. The last thing I heard was Jacob calling out for help.

...

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