DAY TWO - SORTINGS AND SLYTHERINS
I awoke the next morning underneath one of the benches in the Great Hall, where I had previously taken refuge last night after dinner.
I decided that my task for today was to find myself new quarters in which to sleep. I took the ridiculously obnoxious sorting hat off of my head and stumbled out between peoples' feet.
Last night I was sorted into Slytherin for no other reason but that my face had gained a slight green tinge (last time I drink eight bottles of pumpkin juice before a sorting).
In a fit of house patriotism, I suspended three Hufflepuff first year's from the upmost gargoyles on the Astronomy Tower by their shoelaces. I strolled off down the Astronomy Tower stairs, stopping briefly near the Entrance Hall to listen out for the distant and maliciously satisfying 'crunch', signalling the end of a topnotch prank.
"Good sport boys!" I called to them, and ran down to gather up their lifeless corpses for the roast.
A few hours later, I found an ideal place to begin the construction of my nest. This would be the place I would be spending the next 5 days sleeping in.
For the next 2 hours, I plucked hairs from the upper lips and scalps of passers-by to contribute to the foundations of the nest.
Having done my research, I had spent the previous 3 years (having anticipated my magical journey of enlightenment) learning to become an animagus. Today was the day I was to complete my transformation and discover what fun and interesting animal I would become. I was hoping for Hydra, but I was told that it was impossible and slapped round the head by my DADA professor.
I was shocked and delighted to discover that my animagus was a basilisk! This would make my fun and harmless, boyish pranks a whole lot more creative!
Sorting: 3/5 - at least I'm not Hufflepuff!
Education: 2/5 - I learnt about oppression.
Free Time: 5/5 - full of fun, frivolty and boyish pranks.
Sleeping Quarters: 3/5 - a definite improvement.