Edited: 02/06/16

In which Kaneki Ken came back to Anteiku after all.

Hello, I hope you're well

You may not remember me

And it hurts a lot more than it should

But it's fine, just be happy

I'll be in your heart, waiting

When Sasaki Haise stepped inside :re, Touka was not at all prepared. Their eyes met and Touka felt a jolt of shock as Kaneki Ken gazed back at her.

Gray eyes assessed her with surprise, open and thoughtful as ever, but they were bright, brighter than she remembered.

(It's not as shadowed, not as haunted, and if this is what those two long years have done to him, Touka thinks she can be glad for that.)

His black roots had started growing back again and she stared at it incredulously. Nagachika Hideyoshi would be rolling in his grave with laughter if he knew that his uptight best friend was emulating him.

(It wasn't just the hair. She certainly didn't miss the white coat and the large briefcase.)

Her lips curved up in a sad smile. Kaneki had grown up well, standing with quiet confidence and assurance.

He really came back after all, even if it was Sasaki who stood in his place.

Touka was relieved. Although he was no longer Kaneki Ken, he was alive and happy as Sasaki Haise. She thinks she could live with that.

(A lie. She still missed Kaneki just as much but Touka could pretend, couldn't she?)

"May I take your order?"

She wished him the very best.

After that, Sasaki often came to the cafe, ordering atrocious amounts of black coffee like it was all he ever drank.

(It probably was.)

He was always there so Touka sometimes came over to chat with him.

"Kirishima-san?" he began hesitantly one day. (Touka-chan?)

"Is there something wrong?" she had asked in concern, worried and alarmed. Lately, he had been more quiet, reminding her of the Kaneki she used to know.

She didn't want him to be sad again. She didn't want him to remember.

"Ah, no," he smiled up at her, bringing a hand up to his chin. "It's nothing."

"You're a bad liar, Sasaki Haise," she had mock-threatened.

(Her mind flashes back two years ago, to Nagachika Hideyoshi and did you know? Kaneki has a lying habit.)

Laughing, Sasaki waved it off. "I was just wondering," he paused uncertainly, looking at her with hopeful eyes. "Who was Kaneki Ken?"

"I'm not sure if you would like to know."

(It will break you, Sasaki. It will ruin you and all that you ever stood for.)

It's at times like this when Touka just wants him to remember. Her wish is just as selfless as it is selfish.

She just doesn't want to be left behind, nor does she want another friend to leave her side. It's as simple as that.

Even though she knows it's the right thing to do, it's hard for her to let him be, living with doubts and confusion, being discriminated without even knowing why, longing to remember the memories of his past that are being denied from him.

It's a painful life to live.

She sees it in the way he cries in frustration over his cup of coffee that must have seemed so familiar to him.

(It should be. It was how Yoshimura brewed coffee.)

But then Touka is reminded of the reasons why she doesn't remind him of the past in the way he laughs with his students and wipes his tears off with a smile.

He could be happy here.

Without the death surrounding him, without the tragedy of being a ghoul, without the bad memories of Aogiri, he had a chance to live, to be free.

In the end, that's all that she really wants for him.