"Meow, what did you mean when you were going to show Tao your snake?"
"Well, aren't you just the most innocent thing ever? Heh!"
*Hazama and Taokaka had escaped the wrath of Rachel. She's gotten mad, and that's to be expected when discovering that the person who you'd had tons of kinky sex with had abandoned you with the superior cleavage.*
"Welllllll?"
"Okay, you stupid moron. See, the snake refers to the human genitals!"
"Ge-it-nals? What's that?"
*Relius Clover appears before Hazama and Taokaka.*
"Hazama, indulging yourself in such immature acts is no way to go."
"Well, if it isn't the vampire's tag team partner! How's life been without me, you sick freak?"
"A necessary improvement. No offense."
"HAH. Well, I don't think I'm going to let you live when you didn't help me out back there with the loli! Instead, you would laugh while looking at me suffering, for at least 10 times a week!"
*Hazama throws Ouroburos at Relius. He parries it with Ignis.*
"Settle down. I'm here to receive my new test subject... She happens to be that little feline friend of yours."
"Meow?! Is there something on Tao's face?!"
"Who? Her? Like I'd give a shit!"
"Very well. Ignis!" Ignis grabs Taokaka by suprise. A wimper comes out of Taokaka.
"Meowwwchh... Help me, green guy! The pink robot is attacking me!"
All Hazama could do is watch, as Ignis carries Taokaka away, inch by inch. Taokaka uselessly tries to attack both Relius and Ignis. Finally, a burden off his back! Now he won't have to get his suit dirty from that stupid furball ever again!
"LET TAO GO! Or else she will use her super deadly technique!"
*Relius uses one of his puppet hands hidden in his cape to silence Taokaka.*
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt..." Hazama feels sympathy for the cat. She's just so stupid! How is she still alive with that low intelligence? On the bright side, she's going to a better place...
On the bad side, Relius gets want he wants. You'd think after what he had done to Hazama, he would just let him have a freebie?
*Hazama throws another Ouroboros at Relius. Relius dodges.*
"What do you think your doing, Hazama? Had we not agreed on this?"
"Hey pal, sorry to break it to you, but leaving me to die isn't exactly forgivable!"
"I see. I take it you want to fight me?"
"You bet your silly ass I do!"
"Very well. Have at you!"
"Colonel, how long is this going to take? Could you just stay vulnerable for at least one second?"
"No. I'm afraid we are at a stalemate."
*Hazama and Relius had been going at it for over an hour now. It's quite boring!*
"Alright then Hazama, I suppose I shouldn't be wasting my time with such a bad candidate for my newest experiment. We will settle our differences later."
"Haha! 'till next time, Old Yeller!"
Really? Just like that? He just forgives him without shedding some blood? You could say that friendship is magic...al.
*Relius drops Taokaka. Very roughly, as Hazama noticed. Taokaka is still strangely asleep, and surprisingly, she has a smile on her face. She's probably in an alternate reality where she's beating the crap out of Relius and Ignis, but we all know that isn't really going to happen any time soon in Blazblue... yet.*
"Damn, why'd I have to be allergic to cats? I'd hug her tight if I didn't kill her first!" Yes, you did hear that out of Hazama's mouth. And yes, she's so damn cute when she's sleeping!
"Hey, wakey wakey! Time to get up, or the thunderstorm's gonna catch up to us!" This was Hazama's poor attempt in waking people up. When you're busy doing evil stuff, you don't have time to wake people up. You don't sleep, for that matter.
In fact, shouldn't he be capturing the Eye of the Azure now? What's everyone else doing if Hazama and Relius aren't threatening their lives with a sexually exposed robot girl?
No matter. He's kind of busy trying to save his own life, as Rachel is attempting to threaten him with bad weather. It's a really bad week for Hazama as you can tell.
"After all this blows over, I need to pick up where I left off. I've been distracted for FAR too long."
"...meowr... get over here... meat buns..."
"What's this? She's dreaming about meat buns?"
"...i'm going to eaaaaaatttt you...!"
"I'm not going to listen to the cat radio all day. WAKE UP ALREADY YOU DAMN CAT!"
*Hazama uses his 6B... which now does a Fatal Counter in Chrono Phantasma! Too bad it's not Chrono Phantasma!*
"OUCH! Tao had the best dream of her life! Why'd you have to do that, green guy?"
"Cause I'm hungry for meat buns! But you're obviously a party pooper, so I guess you don't want any! SUCKS TO BE YOU!" Hazama tries his best to run away from Taokaka. And if you played Hazama, you'd know he can't run, really. And if you played Taokaka, then you better believe she can chase.
*Taokaka catches up with Hazama in a matter of seconds. She had to do it in the most rough way possible, though.*
"TAO'S GOT YOU NOW! NO ONE RUNS FROM THE GREAT TAO!"
"Alright, jeez... You got my suit dirty! With your damn fur on in too! You know how much these costs you stupid fu-"
"Look! It's the squirrel girl, meow! I'm going to play with her tail!"
Of course, this squirrel girl is none other than Makoto Nanaya. She happens to be working for Kokonoe. You know where this is headed.
"Captain Hazama... no, you're not my captain anymore. Hazama, I'm here to take you into custody by order of Professor Kokonoe."
"Really, private? Was Kokonoe sniffing catnip when she issued that command?"
"That's not even my rank! And I'm not even with the Librarium anymore!"
"What ever you say, Makoto. Just don't fight me, alright? It's not my thing!"
"You can't fool me twice, Hazama. Time to take you... whaaaaaaa?"
*Taokaka plays with Makoto's tail. It's really, really fluffy.*
"Ahah, meow! I've got you now! There is no escape from Tao's clutches!"
"Hey! Quit it Tao! I'm trying to fight the really creepy dude that you hang out with... why were you hanging out with him again?"
"Cause green guy gave Tao tons of food, and protected me from 'bun-ee lee-k'!"
"What's a... bun-ee lee-k?"
"Tao hears good guy say that to the small girl when I'm sneaking up on him, meow!"
"Who's... good guy?"
"I can't answer all of your questions without playing with your tail for ten more minutes!"
"Whatever, do what you do!"
"Hey ladies, you done yet? I'm feeling a little out of place!"
*Makoto faces towards Hazama with the most devious grin on her face.*
"Hazama, do you love Taokaka?!"
"Ahahaha... what?"
"Aww, come on! Actually caring for someone? You'd never take me out to eat! I don't think you'd take ANYONE out to eat, unless it's someone really special!"
"Bleh! Look pal, I suggest you stay true to your word and fight me, not get involved with my life!"
She strikes a wider grin. "You're so tsundere towards her! Just accept that you love her!"
"I'm so glad you left the NOL!"
"I'm glad too, but you gotta confess to her! You just have to! Teehee!"
*Taokaka is really clueless on what they are talking about. Doesn't want to get involved anway.*
"Don't tell this to anyone, but I'm not only being chased by that professor of yours, but I'm also being chased by a loli who wants me to do suggestive things to her! I've got alot on my plate, and your not making it any better!"
"Loli? Suggestive things?... Am I hearing this right?"
"You bet your underboobs that you're hearing this right! Can't believe I'm talking about this to you!"
"And I can't believe I'm talking about romance with the creepiest guy I know!"
*Makoto sighs. Wasn't she hating this guy's guts a minute ago?*
"So what's stopping you from asking this girl out?"
"Nothing! I just don't want to! I REALLY don't want to!"
"Love that's never meant to be? How romantically tragic~!"
"Really not helping the situation here!"
"Oh! That's right. I'm supposed to knock you out now!"
*However, before she could react, Hazama uses his superkick to send her flying across the city.*
"GOOSH DAARRNNITTT HAAZZAAMMmmaaa..." And it's a homerun! Oh wait, wrong sport!
"Where'd that tail go?! Did it want to play tag? Well Tao is undefeated, meow! It's ON!"
"Hold your tail there, kitty. It just felt like flying today! It's really nice out today, so I wouldn't blame it!"
"Meow?"
"What's the matter, girl? About to cough something up? Like a hairball?"
"No! You were finally nice to Tao! It's really... creepy!"
"Haha! I'm always nice to you! Other then the part where I almost killed you, I treat you with utmost respect!"
"What does cold guy say what he wants to do with good guy...? Oh, meow! He wants to take his XXXX and use it to XXXX on the XXXX! Aha!"
"...And WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP?"
"Because that's what a person does to someone when they really love someone!"
"I totally know where this is headed and I refuse to acknowledge it!"
"...and I love you as much as ice guy loves good guy! So let's do the... whatever he said, meow!"
"I totally know we are going to do it sooner or later and I accept the really uncomfortable sex with you that will probably scar me for life!"
"Yay! Where's XXXX, meow?"
And then they had sex. Hazama is really allergic to cats, so it was just a sloppy mess of failed sex. It's really disgusting!
BAD ENDING
*Taokaka awakes from the horrible 5 second dream she had with Hazama. Somehow, she's back in her conversation with Hazama. And she's not stupid, as she's going to prevent herself from experiencing the horrible experience again!*
"Hold your tail there, kitty. It just felt like flying today! It's really nice out today, so I wouldn't blame it!"
"Meow?"
"What's the matter, girl? About to cough something up? Like a hairball?"
"No! You were finally nice to Tao! It's really... creepy!"
"Haha! I'm always nice to you! Other then the part where I almost killed you, I treat you with utmost respect!"
"What does cold guy say what he wants to do with good guy...? Oh, meow! He wants to take his...his..."
"Are you just ASSUMING I know all these damn nicknames you give to random people I could care less about?"
"XXXX!"
"Woah! You didn't learn that language from me, okay? Just tell Jubei that you heard him say it!"
"But why would I want to do that, when I could XXXX your XXXX in the XXXX, with the XXXX? That's what ice guy does when he loves someone!" Tao just realizes what she said. Why did she say it again? Is she really sex-driven, now that she's experienced it?
"...Ehehe, Why would our old friend JUBEI say such things in front of this innocent little Kaka girl?...Ehehe..."
"Who are you talking to, meow?"
"The sex that I will regret having!"
They totally did it again. On the bright side, it wasn't THAT sloppy...?
BAD ENDING
*Taokaka awakes from her dream again. Did she suddenly have the power to go back in time? Cool! But anyways, she's gotta get herself outta this mess, whether she likes it or not.*
"Hold your tail there, kitty. It just felt like flying today! It's really nice out today, so I wouldn't blame it!"
"...YEAH! MEOW! :3" Taokaka pounces on top of Hazama. She's not going to do what you think she's going to do.
"This suit has no hope now! I give up! Forget it!"
Taokaka didn't think this through. She just didn't want to repeat the same dialogue... So what now?
"Alright, kitty. Mind getting off of me so we can start running from the mean lady?"
"Tao's going to get off AFTER I get XXXX on the XXXX with XXXX or the XXXX, green guy!"
*Taokaka knows she messed up big time. She needs to get outta this time loop or she's going to be driven insane... by the endless sex!*
"Hold your tail there, kitty. It just felt like flying today! It's really nice out today, so I wouldn't blame it!"
"Meow! Can I see your XXXX and XXXX on a XXXX again?"
"NO! And what do you mean by AGAIN!?"
"Too late!"
"BAD KITTY, BAD KITTY! SHIIIIIIIII-"
*Maybe she's already insane. Good thing no one's watching though, cause this will be her guilty pleasure...*
"Hold your tail there, kitty. It just felt like fl-"
*Taokaka pounces on top of Hazama. She's going to do what you think she's going to do.*
Taokaka is locked in an endless struggle... of sex. No one knows how long this time loop will happen, but it's going to take a long time before some random plot device decides to stop the cycle.
BAD ENDING