A/N - Thanks for the interest in this story so far. I haven't written for a long time, so just trying to find my groove again. I guess I am writing this mainly for myself, as I wanted to explore more to the Daryl/Beth relationship. But I would LOVE to hear what other people think too. This chapter is more from Daryl's point of view. I have never written him before, so any feedback would be appreciated. I don't necessarily plan to alternate their pov's but thought it would be interesting to start.
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"I don't cry any more, Daryl..." Daryl wasn't quite sure why those words kept echoing around in his head, why they bothered him so much still.
But ever since Beth had uttered them to him back at the prison, right after he'd broken the news to her about her boyfriend being dead, they'd stayed with him. It just didn't seem right. She should cry.
But to Daryl, it was just another symbol of how things had changed, how dark the world had become now.
Daryl hadn't realised it at first either, but it was also a symbol of how he had changed. He wasn't the uncaring jackass he'd thought he'd been before the outbreak. He cared about people now and he'd wanted Beth to cry. Because she was young and innocent, and her boyfriend had just died a horrible death, and because crying and showing emotion for things like that, was just how it should be.
...
They had been walking for hours, with no real purpose or place to go. The woods were starting to all look the same, in Daryl's half hearted attempt to track, the trails on the ground were leading no-where fast. He felt as thought they were trapped in a long dark tunnel, with no sign of any light. But he knew they had to keep going. What choice did they have?
Although, if he was honest, Daryl had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Recently, back at the prison he had always had a plan, he'd taken control on many an occasion. But right now, he had to admit defeat, there was no plan and he was far from being in control. He felt almost as though the man he had thought he had become back at the prison had slipped away, and now in yet another cruel twist of fate he was right back where he had started. Lost in the woods.
Only this time he wasn't alone. He glanced across at the young blonde walking along beside him. He had barely said a word to her all morning, he knew he should have, but he just couldn't, he simply couldn't find it in him to say anything. He'd seen the look in her eyes the night before, trying so desperately to muster up some sort of optimism or hope. She was young, she'd led a fairly sheltered life up until now and she still saw the good in people, in things, he didn't. Not now. How could he? They couldn't be more different.
Beth had wanted them to try and find the others, Maggie, Rick, Carl, Judith. She'd been persistent, spouting some shit about how they shouldn't just sit around, they had to do something. He'd wished it could be that simple. But it wasn't. He'd wanted to yell at her, to tell her straight, she weren't ever going to find em. They'd all gone. But he couldn't, he knew clinging on to that small piece of hope was the only thing keeping her going and subconsciously right now she was the only thing keeping Daryl going. So instead of shooting her down, he'd just kept his mouth shut, his eyes cold and distant.
In a strange way being stranded out here with Beth felt like a sick joke to Daryl. A constant reminder of how he had failed. He was meant to be looking out for everyone, keeping them safe, it was his new role and he had been good at it. At least he had thought he had been good at it. But he had failed and now here he was left with one of the sweetest, most innocent members of the group. With no idea what to do.
He'd known he had to act fast back at the prison, when it had all gone to shit. Beth had wanted to go back, try and find Judith. But he hadn't let her. He'd known if she went back she wouldn't have made it. Maybe he should have let her, he thought despondently as he felt her silent presence beside him, maybe he should have gone with her. What did the world have to offer her now? What did it have to offer either of them?
The way she kept giving him sideways glances, Daryl knew she expected or wanted something from him. Something he couldn't give her. Protection, leadership or just plain comfort, she was with the wrong guy, he thought. He didn't have the strength of character of Rick, or the wisdom of Hershel, or even the sheer determination and fighting spirit of Glenn or Tyrese. He was just some redneck loser, with no idea of how to really deal with people.
"We should try and find some place to stay or somethin," Beth said a little awkwardly as they walked on.
Daryl ignored her for a second, before shaking his head and replying, "Well I aint seen no motel signs round here, have you?" He knew that was a little harsh and he hated himself for a second as he caught the brief look of hurt flood her face. She didn't deserve that. She'd just lost her father and he was all she had, he knew that. But he still couldn't bring himself to be that man she wanted.
They carried on in silence. Daryl knew Beth was getting tired and weak with hunger, he was too. He had barely slept the night before, huddled by the fire. He wondered if she had either, she'd been quiet, but he still had his doubts she had really rested. He had said he would keep watch most of the night, but even when she woke and said it was her turn, he couldn't sleep easy, still instinctively keeping one eye on her.
"You keep your hand on your knife at all times, and if you see anything you yell". He'd said to her as she'd replied with a simple, "I know what I'm doing, Daryl." He knew she was tougher than she looked, but he'd still wanted to make sure all the same.
As they drudged on, they suddenly came to a fork in the road. Daryl leant down examining the marks, trying to work out which way they should turn. Just as Beth let out a small squeal and rushed towards the side of the road.
"Damn it girl, what do you want to go and make all that noise for…" Daryl muttered gruffly under his breath, as he turned his head to see her examining the branches of some bushes to the side of the track.
"Blackberries, Daryl," she exclaimed.
"Ripe and sweet too," she said excitedly turning to flash him a bright smile as he walked reluctantly over to her and she handed him one.
Lingering for a second as their eyes met, he found his arms were stuck, unable to reach out and take the small colourful fruits from her, it was like he had frozen.
Slowly, still frowning, he found himself reaching out to her to take one. The rough skin on his hands, lightly brushing her soft smooth fingers in the process and the sparkle in her eyes at that instant, brought a strange sensation over Daryl, almost like a tiny flutter. Just for a second and then it was gone. She turned her head back to the berries.
Beth was right they did taste ripe and very sweet Daryl thought as he fumbled in his back pack for something to put them in. Still unable to say anything much, he simply grunted and tapped her on the shoulder with his bandana. Leaning in closer towards her, he felt his face gently touch the back of her head. She smelled good, too good for someone that had been roughing it in the woods for the past two days. Her hair smelled like fresh apples, the skin on the back of her neck like cooked almonds. He wasn't really sure why, but in strange way it made him feel warm and safe.
Beth Greene would have been exactly type of girl Daryl would have gone for in his younger years. She was pretty, beautiful even, with her big blue eyes, light blonde hair, delicate frame and porcelain skin. She was also the type of girl that would have despised a young Daryl for the worthless redneck piece of shit he had been back then. Girls like Beth Greene wouldn't have gone near him. But that was in a different world, and however much he had been wary of Beth and the others at first, he knew now they were family. The world had changed and they were all each other had.
Daryl hadn't had much to do with Beth back at the prison either. But he'd be lying if he said he hadn't secretly kept an eye on her a lot of the time. Feeling protective. He had cared for her a lot. She had a good heart and she was strong, stronger than she realised. She had made it this far, she was a survivor and Daryl respected that. Even if he couldn't find the words to tell her.
With that brief thought, the spark quickly went out of the present moment and reality hit back. "Come on we've going to get going," he said in a low voice as Beth continued to stuff his bandana full of fruit for their journey.
...
"You know you could say something, anything," Beth said as they carried on walking.
"What's there to say?" he responded bluntly.
"I don't know?…You could finally tell me what you did before the change?" She said playfully, walking along beside him.
Daryl ignored her,"I'm guessing you were some kind of mechanic," she said, glancing sideways at his stony face.
Daryl still remained silent, getting increasingly frustrated with her. This was one conversation he didn't want to have.
Beth opened her mouth to say something else, grinning a little as Daryl just looked straight ahead with a moody scowl.
"How about we keep quiet and just focus on staying alive," he snapped eventually.
Daryl half regretted saying that, as they carried on in silence. Part of him missed the sound of her voice, even though he would never admit it.
He looked up at the sky and sighed inwardly, it was going to be dark soon. He was going to have to come up with a plan fast. Beth's footsteps were slowing down; Daryl knew he would be faster without her. He could take more risks and part of him silently wished he was on his own. He had always though of himself as a lone wolf. He didn't need anyone relying on him. That just led to trouble.
"It's going to be dark soon," Beth said in a quiet voice, echoing his fears.
Unable to respond, Daryl simply turned and walked towards the bushes.
"Where are you going?" she asked hurriedly, her eyes following him.
"Going to take a piss," he replied in a surly voice. He needed to gather his thoughts. He knew she was relying on him.
Zipping up his flies, Daryl returned to the spot he had left her. To find she wasn't there.
"Damn it, Beth," he mumbled to himself, looking around for her.
Then he heard a scream.
Looking over to the side of the road, he quickly saw she had been set upon by three walkers. She had stuck her knife in the first one, quickly pulling it out to lunge for the next, the third reaching out to grab her from behind. Instinctively, Daryl reached for his crossbow knocking out the last walker, causing it to topple directly on top of her. Knocking them both to the ground in a cloud of dust.
Daryl darted straight over to her. His heart rate speeding up, as thoughts of her being bit, rushed through him.
"You okay?" he said in a panicked voice as he knelt down beside her, taking her by the hand to pull her up.
Beth nodded as she caught her breath, "Yeah," she replied as she reached up to smooth down her ruffled hair. "Yeah, I am just fine," she repeated. But the scared look in her eyes said otherwise.
Glued to the spot, their eyes locked with an unspoken communication, as Daryl had a brief flashback to all they had been through together as a group since they had escaped the farm. He thought about how he had felt when she had hugged him the other day back at the prison taking him by surprise, and then how he had felt when their hands had touched earlier in the day. But most of all he thought about how he would have felt if he had lost her now.
Even if he didn't quite understand those feelings, one thing was clear to Daryl. He would stop at nothing to keep this girl safe. He had a purpose again and it was right here.