Magical Girl Zaka

Chapter Two

This one has a name!

AN: Wow, thanks for the…surprisingly good reviews. I was expecting people to say, "OMG YOU MADE WELKIN A PERV! HOW COULD YOU? NOW HE AND ALICIA CAN'T BE IN KAWAII DESU LOVE!" but I'm glad that you guys find this amusing nonetheless. I would also like to extend thank yous to Quazagirl and .MC for helping me come up with this in the first place!

After re-reading the first chapter, I noticed a bit of typos and redundancy. I'll fix those soon; serves me right for writing at one in the morning. : P Then again, I am pretty redundant in real life too.

Welkin stared at Alicia in befuddlement. "What's a 'Magical Girl Zaka'?" This 'trump card' didn't make him feel calmer; it made him even more afraid of scaling up the hill and gunning down Imps.

"You'll see," said Alicia mischievously. She winked at him and continued to climb.

"Let me guess, don't look up?" Welkin replied. "That's what you're going to say next, right?"

Heat ran up to Alicia's face, and she moved more quickly. She kicked some soil into Welkin's face in order to ensure that he didn't see her panties.

As they climbed up the hill, the noise of gunfire gradually got louder and louder, and Welkin was tempted to run back down. But he had to, if he ever wanted to get somewhere with Alicia, so he gulped down his fear and clutched his rifle tighter. When they were almost at the top, Alicia issued orders.

"Alright, listen up. There are probably about three Imps max. Conquering a small town like Bruhl should be very easy for them. The town watch cannot assure you that the Imps will retreat, but we can tell you that everyone will evacuate safely.

"I'm going to run up to all three of them and shoot their Imperial faces out, got it? Welkin, you don't have to do a thing. I have it all covered."

"Okay?" Welkin didn't know what to say about this. He just continued staring into Alicia's eyes, hoping that she wouldn't die from being reckless.

"Besides, we have Magical Girl Zaka on our side, right?" Alicia smiled, evidently a go at trying to get his hopes up. "Relax. I've done this millions of times."

And with that, Alicia charged at the three scouts. Welkin couldn't help but look.

Firstly, she ran right up to one that was turned away from her. She raised her gun and fired bullets into his head. The scary thing was that she seemed to be enjoying this.

The Imps began to panic, and whistled for something. Alicia's eyes widened in horror at what was happening.

"Welkin, they're summoning a dragon! Stay low! I'll get Magical Girl Zaka," Alicia called out to him. Her body was shaking, and her heart was beating hard and quickly in her chest.

"A dragon? Alicia, are you high on something?" Welkin began to snicker to himself.

"No, I assure you that I'm quite serious, and I am not high on weed in a mosh pit or whatever you're thinking. Now, MAGICAL GIRL ZAKA, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE THIS INSTANT."

"Coming, coming," a shockingly manly voice called out in response.

"Alicia, is this…Magical Girl Zack or whatever a tranny?" Welkin asked.

"Trannies are people too, Welkin!" She scolded. "And it's Zaka, not Zack."

Welkin turned around and noticed this Magical Girl thing standing behind him. He/she was very muscular, surprisingly, and unsurprisingly was dressed up in a variant of the Gallian uniform. It had pink bows all over the place, and a bow was tied at the back. It bared his/her stomach. To top it all of, he/she sparkled, and carried a wand with a star at the tip.

"And I'm a girl, thank you very much; I'm just borrowing this body for a while until I can get enough estrogen in there to feminize it."

"That doesn't stop you from looking ridiculous," Welkin countered.

"My pet unicorn would like to have a word with you," Magical Girl Zaka snarled.

"Alright, alright, stop fighting! Now, Zaka, there's a bunch of dragons up the hill, and you have to take them all out!" Alicia commanded. "I'll give you a butterfly if you do that."

"Ooh, yay! I love butterflies!" Zaka squealed.

"I-I'll help too! With my gun!" Welkin volunteered. "I mean, once in English class I ha—"

"It's okay, Welkin." Alicia pressed the palm of her hand up to her face.

But before she could stop him, Welkin had taken off his pants and ran up to the dragons.

"Go save him," Alicia mumbled to Zaka.

Magical Girl Zaka nodded, and flew up to the dragon.

She raised his wand, and pointed it at the dragon. A wave of sky blue flames erupted from the yellow tip. Zaka spun around the dragon, and in no time, it was eliminated.

"Look, Alicia! The dragon was knocked out by my sexual prowess!" Welkin boasted.

"Yeah, you tell yourself that, Welkin." Alicia wasn't impressed. "Besides, you ran out of stamina halfway up that hill. I don't think that you really have any 'sexual superiority'. Not that I'd know."

Welkin smirked. "Would you like to find out?"

"EWW, NO!" Alicia shrieked. She cleared her throat and regained her composure. "Anyway, you had better get back to where Isara is. You have to get to Randgriz quickly."

"What about you? Do you want to come with us?" Welkin offered.

"Um…" Alicia glanced over at Zaka.

"Don't worry; I'll handle things from here. You can go with your boyfriend or whatever," Zaka replied.

"He is not my boyfriend!" Alicia objected. She turned around to face Welkin. "But I'll go with you. I have some bread, so we should have enough food for the journey."

***

Imperials had broken into the Gunther's home, and were closing in on Isara.

"That lady over there, is she pregnant or just really fat?" One of them asked Isara in a mocking tone.

"That lady is named Martha, and that's none of your business," Isara said, making sure to stay calm.

"Shut up, dark-hair. You know, I was wondering why it stunk in here, but I guess it was just you," the other one sneered.

Isara glanced up at him with a challenging gaze. "What was that, now?" Her hand explored a nearby countertop, and rested on the handle of a knife. Keeping eye contact, she grabbed it and pulled it towards her. Before the Imperials could react, she stabbed one in the stomach and kicked the other's groin as hard as she could. Isara noticed a heavily outdated gun in the corner, but it would have to do. She somersaulted to it, grabbed it, and killed the Imp whom she had caused excruciating pain to with a bullet in the head.

At that moment, Welkin and Alicia barged in.

"Is? Are you alright?!" Welkin ran up to her and gave her a tight squeeze.

She smiled. "I'm fine, Welkin. I just needed to get rid of some…pests, that's all."

Alicia looked at the corpses and the pool of blood on the ground. "Isara…did you do this?"

"Yes. Anyway, Welkin, we had better go defend the town."

"What?! I thought that we were all going to Randgriz as soon as possible!" Welkin scratched his head in confusion.

"But Welks, remember? Dad's…"

"Oh, that's right. Dad's tank."

"I'll drive!" Isara said happily, holding the keys in her hand.

"I'll…check out Alicia through the sco—err; I mean, command the thing!"

"I'll, uh, run behind the tank and guard the town gate. If it gets destroyed, the whole town will panic!" Alicia was disappointed that all of the good spots of running a tank were taken. She ran off to join her comrades.

"Alright, Is, are you ready?" Welkin asked her with a cocky grin.

"You bet'cha, Welks."

AN: No, Isara is not Sarah Palin. A word of advice: you had better not get her pissed. She IS the Ice President.

So, Magical Girl Zaka finally arrives! And, admit it everyone, you so want a pet unicorn just like him. A quick question: should there be a blatant Mary-Sue in Squad 7 (once we get there, of course) or should I include it completely with canon characters? The 'Sue idea would add more humour into it, but I wouldn't mind 'reworking' the canon 7s a bit; I've already raped Welkin to hell and back and sent him into a land with dragons and tranny magical girls who get paid with butterflies.