Back on Track

Chapter 2. Reminiscence.

The next morning, Raven was awakened by Beast Boy banging on her door.

"Raaee! C'mon, get up! Robin's gonna interrogate the new guy! He wants everyone to be there!"

Raven wrapped her pillow around her head, in a futile attempt to block out reality and go back to sleep.

After her teammate skipped off, she sat up drowsily on her bed. Glancing at her clock, she saw it was almost nine. So she had only gotten a couple hours of sleep—but meditation over sleep had been the right choice. She was exhausted, but at least her head was clear.

Not that she had solved anything. The emotions that had come up the night before had been called forward, dealt with, and sent off to their rightful places in Nevermore, but the problem was still there. Meditation couldn't tell her what to do about Rorek.

It wasn't as much a question of whether she should tell her friends—she knew she should, period. It was just that she didn't want to. But being secretive was what she had done last time.

And if she exposed him and got him kicked out of the tower on her word, was that fair? She didn't even feel bad intentions coming from him. And all he had really done was tell her a crazy story.

But now it seemed the choice was being taken away from her. If Robin was going to question him…

Robin's judgment I can trust. If there was something suspicious, he would see it. Maybe she didn't need to decide. Maybe it wouldn't have to be her choice at all.

When she phased to the common room, everyone was already there, sitting around the kitchen table. Rorek –she now called him that in her mind, regardless of how true it was- sat at the far end. Robin gave her a nod as she sat on the other end, then turned back to the guest of honor.

"So. Bertram. We thought we'd get to know a bit more about you. You're from a place called Miir, you said? Where is that?"

Raven could tell that Robin was trying to make the meeting seem casual. Judging by Rorek's expression, and the fact that his scarf was securely in place, he wasn't fooled.

"It is the ancient seat of the kings of Northumbria," he replied dutifully.

"Right, and, what are you doing in our time?" asked Robin. "Are you tailing after the witch hunters?"

The mage's eyes darted away from Robin's. "Um. No. Not really."

There was a pause before Robin realized the stranger wasn't going to say anything else. "Um. Did your enemies send you here?"

"…No."

The titans exchanged glances. Raven watched the scene, deeply unsettled. She had feared that he would lie shamelessly to her friends. She had feared even more that he would cheerfully repeat what he had told her the night before. She had never expected him to just fail to make up any story at all.

Robin gave him a long, searching look. "Well… you're gonna have to give me something here, pal." The team leader kept his tone light, but he was now frowning.

And—there it was. The stranger did what Robin thought he'd do, and his eyes flickered to the other end of the table. He thought he'd seen it yesterday and now he was sure: whenever he doubted, perhaps not even knowing he was doing it, the mage would glace at Raven. As if asking her how much he should tell. As if she knew his story already.

Robin glanced at his teammate. She had her hood up, as she was wont to do around new people, and she was staring firmly at a point on the table.

"My only intent, with you all, is to help you find and defeat our common enemy," the wizard was saying.

"You're saying you came here to help us."

Once again, Rorek stayed quiet for a considerable time, a flush in his cheeks visible over his scarf. Beast Boy exchanged a look with Cyborg, who shook his head subtly, as if to say, nope, I've no idea what's up with this guy either.

Finally Rorek said, "Not exactly."

Robin hung his head and tried to gather himself. He wasn't so much frustrated as, well, offended. This guy was a waste of his detective abilities.

Meanwhile, Raven was going through a lot. Who was this awkward mess of a man? Where the day before she had looked at him and only seen the bad memory of Malchior, now she had to struggle to see the traces of him.

She wanted to say something, if only to make it all stop. If he was this bad a liar then she'd be forced to think to think he had been telling her the truth the night before.

…Unless that was exactly his plan.

Raven stayed quiet.

"Right," said Robin. "How about you tell us how you got here?"

Starfire intervened. "Please. We only wish to know how you arrived to this time."

"Yeah," Beast Boy chipped in with an encouraging smile. "You got a really cool time machine parked somewhere?"

Rorek looked at the two people clearly trying to help him. He sighed, and seemed to make up his mind. "I… never travelled through time. I am a thousand and twenty-two years old."

"Whoa," Cyborg breathed.

"How can that be?" Starfire gasped.

Robin sat back down, calmer now they were getting somewhere. "Yes. How is that possible? How did you live this long?"

The mage hesitated. "I have been trapped." His weary expression persuaded Robin that he was telling the truth.

"Trapped magically, I suppose."

"Yes."

"Trapped by a villain? Or like a villain?"

Silence hung thick in the air until Rorek realized his meaning. The other titans had anticipated what their leader was leading up to, but to the wizard it came as a surprise. "What? I-I'm not the villain-!"

"Why did you come into contact with us?"

"I did not—I was in trouble and you aided me-"

"But you were already coming into town. At the same time the hunters appeared."

The accused stopped cold, and his eyes flashed dangerously. "You think I'm in league with the hunters?" Robin leaned back, arms crossed. "They seek to destroy magic users!"

"While using magic. You said so yourself," the leader pointed out. "Tell me one thing. How did you know who we were before meeting us?"

"As I said, your fame precedes you…-"

"To the middle ages!?"

Rorek forgot his panic in momentary indignation. "Middle ages? Is that meant as an insult?"

Robin closed in on the wizard's face. "Give me one good reason why we should trust you."

Rorek's face was both indignation and alarm. His mouth clamped shut, and for the first time he was truly out of words. The other titans, who had taken an instant liking to the mage, began to have second thoughts as they watched him wilt under Robin's glare. It seemed clear this situation would end with one homeless or incarcerated wizard.

"Robin."

Five pairs of eyes turned back—Raven had used her 'listen to me or else' voice. "If you'd asked any of us about our pasts when we first joined this team, we wouldn't wanted to tell you either."

Robin furrowed his eyebrows at his teammate. She had a point, sure, but he felt like there was something else going on here. The stranger was hiding something, and it felt bigger than a troubled past. Raven held his gaze, with a firmness she reserved for times when she was deathly sure of something. She clearly wanted him to desist.

Beast Boy looked back and forth between them with a bored expression, and muttered to Cyborg, "I hate it when they speak in eyes."

Cyborg didn't answer, shocked into silence by Raven's unlikely intervention.

"Do you trust him?" Robin asked Raven.

"I can sense no bad intentions coming from him," she stated.

Rorek looked from one to the other, and cleared his throat. "I am hiding some secrets," he said solemnly. "They are of a personal nature and would put none of you in harm's way. And I am not in league with the hunters. I swear it."

Robin considered. "Fine." He looked up at the mage. "You're on probation. You can stay, but don't get too comfortable." He made his way towards the door. "Titans, to the gym. Let's get some training done before we waste the whole morning."

With that he left, cape fluttering behind him.

Rorek looked at Raven. She met his eyes for a fraction of a second. He opened his mouth, but before he could muster a simple 'thank you', she broke the gaze, and levitated out of the room.

The wizard was still staring at the closed door when he found himself under a shadow, and he looked up to find Cyborg towering over him. "And I will be watching you like a hawk," he stated, his robotic eye extending until it almost touched Rorek's face. Then he stalked off.

"Um, being on probation means you probably shouldn't leave the tower without telling someone," said Beast Boy, walking backwards out of the room. "So, don't do that. Just in case."

Already on the doorway, Starfire stopped in mid-air and flew back to the wizard.

"You are indeed an intriguing stranger. But at times you seem terribly sad. There is something that troubles you, yes? May I ask what it is?"

Rorek smiled at her. "You need not trouble yourself with my problems."

Starfire set her feet on the ground, saddened. "Is there nothing we can help with?"

"You do more than enough to welcome me in your home. And I assure you, there's no better place for me to be than here."

Cyborg made a point to follow his sullen leader to the control panels, letting the others go down to the pit. They set a level and started the obstacle course, before he cleared his throat. "So. Weird dude."

"Yep," replied Robin.

"She has a point you know," Cyborg said, as Beast Boy got started on a level 5 course. "You did trust the lot of us right off the bat."

"Yeah, and I got lucky the first four times. The fifth time around, not so much." They looked at the course, both remembering the last time they had brought a young heroine to train with them. "Did you get the feeling that they already knew each other?"

Cyborg shifted uncomfortably. "Why would she not tell us if she did?"

Robing noted that his teammate didn't deny it. "Because this is Raven we're talking about."

"Yes, this is Raven we're talking about," Cyborg echoed, frowning. "If she's hiding something it's not gonna be something that puts us in danger."

Robin frowned and didn't say anything. Cyborg must have selective memory regarding a girl who had kept the literal end of the world from them in an effort to spare them from it.

"Wanna know what I think?" Cyborg asked. Robin raised an eyebrow in expectancy. "I think he just likes her."

For all his nagging feelings of doubt, Robin couldn't help but burst out laughing at his friend's tone. Cyborg sounded proud and worried at the same time, while trying and failing to sound light-hearted. The half-robot had a gloomy look on his face when Robin looked up, which only made him laugh harder. Cyborg couldn't have made a better picture of a conflicted older brother if he and Raven were actually related.

His laugh winded down to a sigh, and he said, "I still don't know about him, though. He is hiding something. And I don't know him enough to trust that whatever he's not telling us is harmless."

"So, keep an eye on him." Cyborg's eyes were on Raven as she replaced Beast Boy at the beginning of the course. "I know I will."

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos

Azarath Metrion Zinthos

Azarath Metrio-"

"…CHEATED, you cheaty pants!"

"Not my fault you didn't see my tricks coming, Cyborg!"

"Tricks huh? Lemme tell you how I think you spell tricks, it's C-H-E-A…"

Raven opened her eyes. Along the years, she had learnt the art of not falling on her butt every time her concentration was broken, but Cyborg's voice in particular always managed to make her lose focus.

She set her feet on the ground. Darkness had crept into her room while she meditated, but she didn't feel done yet. She looked out of her window, where the last of twilight still persevered, and decided to continue on the roof.

But when she phased to the roof, there was already someone there. Her empathy picked up on sadness before her eyes saw the figure standing by the edge, looking intently up at the sky.

It wasn't a good night for stargazing—pale clouds obscured half the sky. But she guessed for someone who had been trapped in a book for a thousand years, even this night was beautiful. Raven lingered a moment, watching Rorek's dark hair flowing in the wind.

She made to turn back inside, when he spoke.

"I can still hardly believe I'm out. After all these years."

Raven stood rooted to the spot, taken aback at his openness. She hesitated, but then pulled up her hood and walked towards him. She had things to say to him anyhow.

"How did you know it was me there?" she asked, walking up to a safe distance of him.

"I just knew." At her incredulous look, his face got apologetic. "I… I just know you. Your presence."

Raven crossed her arms. "I see you're sticking to your story."

"Of course. It's the only one I've got."

Evidently, she thought, remembering his disastrous performance earlier.

He seemed different now. Calmer, more at ease. Far from the nervous deer in the headlights he had been earlier, and also from the intense and desperate being he had been the night before. His mood had lightened since she had showed up here, but she was choosing not to notice that.

"Thank you for helping me earlier," he said, with a degree of formality. "If it wasn't for you, I think I would have been kicked out on the streets."

Raven kept her eyes firm on the opposite shore, where the forest unfolded before them, and said what she had been thinking over the last few hours. "Look, Rorek… I meant what I told Robin. I can sense no bad intentions from you. I think the others like you, and you fit well with the team. So, you can stay—maybe even join the Titans. But that doesn't mean I believe all this about—past lives and everything. You understand it's not something I can believe without proof. And I won't touch you," she added quickly. "So don't ask me to do that."

"I understand," he said, an echo of her words that he didn't mean. He projected strong emotions, and there was gratefulness, yes, but also frustration and restlessness, and just plain sadness. "And I thank you, truly. I know it must not be easy, after what you went through because of me."

She raised an eyebrow. "Because of you?" she remarked, suddenly alert.

He only looked at her soberly. "It was my knowledge the dragon used to deceive you. And my voice, and my likeness." He looked like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself and cast his eyes down.

Raven let it go. "Right. Let's not get into that."

Rorek smiled. "Let's not, then."

His scarf was pooled around his neck, so when he smiled, she could fully appreciate it. It was a nice sight, even if she was seeing it out of the corner of her eye.

Sometimes his image shifted into that of the paper man, and it was nauseating. But when he smiled, the mirage faded –the paper man had never had a mouth- and it was easy to see him as a whole other being separate from the dragon.

Time lingered. The waves crashed peacefully into the rocks beneath them. Raven told herself to go back inside.

"I think I may have idealized my memory of the stars," said Rorek.

Despite a voice telling her not to engage, she asked, "What do you mean?"

"They seem… dimmer somehow. And as if there are less of them."

Only then did Raven realize how strange the night sky must seem to him. The Titans' Tower had a privileged stargazing spot, but they were still too close to the city to appreciate the sky in its true splendor.

"It's only the city lights," she told him. "They dull out the stars. If you were far enough from the city they'd look like you remember."

Rorek looked at her with curiosity. "How do lights from Earth affect the sky above?"

"Well…" Raven took a moment to order her thoughts. To explain light pollution she would have to lay down the concept of 'atmosphere'—not to mention what light itself was.

He smiled. "Never mind. I shall take your word for it." He looked up again. He had settled himself facing away from the city, Raven realized. All of his surroundings were probably overwhelming to him, and he looked to the sky for an anchor that wasn't there. "Some familiar ones are still there. The brightest and the best, I suppose. And those look exactly the same." But a tinge of sadness was still there, clouding his aura.

Raven looked up as well.

"…What can you name?" she murmured, surprising herself.

She was rewarded with a burst of joy on his part, which nearly made her not feel the dread that came from herself.

Rorek peered between the clouds. "There's Ursa Major." He cocked his head. "Perhaps a bit thinner than I remember."

"Times are hard," said Raven, and when he chuckled a thrill went through her, stupidly.

"Medusa's Head," he went on.

She squinted. "What?"

"There." He pointed at a patch in the sky. "Medusa Caputae."

Raven followed the gauntlet-clad arm, to the finger pointing at a collection of stars, and it hit her all over again that he was flesh and bones. This being, who had once been a mere voice out of a book, now was here, close enough to touch. Once it was everything she'd wanted. And how did she feel about that? Shouldn't she be cowered, overwhelmed?

And yet all of this, their standing by each other, the familiarity of it, didn't feel overwhelming at all. It just felt… right—which in itself was alarming. After Malchior, Raven had wondered how she, of all people, had become so comfortable with a person so fast. Now, despite herself, she was remembering how.

I came up here to meditate, she remembered. She shouldn't have let him distract her.

"You see it?" Rorek was looking at her.

"We know that one as Perseus," she told him.

"Oh." He lowered his arm. His eyes lingered on her for a moment, thoughtful. Her mood change didn't get past him, it seemed. "I do not blame you for not trusting me, Raven. I wouldn't believe it either if I was told all this with no prior knowledge of any of it." He gazed at her timidly, tentatively. "When I see you, I see all the others you have been. You see me and… see only me."

Raven had nothing to say to that.

The wizard looked thrown off when she turned to leave. "You're going?" he blurted out.

It took Raven aback the way his mood plummeted so fast. Where before his energy had been a cocktail of contradiction emotions, now everything was simply black.

"I…was going to meditate," she said simply, her head reeling from the sudden change in his energy.

Rorek caught himself; he swallowed and nodded at her. "Goodnight, Raven."

She left him with his eyes cast back up, to his ineffectual anchor.

Thanks for reading!