A/N: Hey there guys, I know it's been awhile but not only has my job kept me away from updating the chapters but I've finally been struck with the *dun DUN DUNN-!* slowly falling into a new fandom syndrome! It's effects have left me bedridden, searching for fics in the new place, my God I'm losing it people!

Ahem!

I'm happy that the first chapter garnered a lot of happiness. Although I'm pretty sure anything Dadmight material will generate so much happiness from the fans, so that's a plus considering all you ever get from the main story is depressing stuff. New year, new chapters, am I right? Anyway, I just want to announce something because there's a few reviews that are asking for something that I am not willing to give out just yet until the right time.

Any of you who are asking for stories where Izuku lives or Kuzan chooses to follow the path of a villain, you'll need to wait until after I conclude the Kamino Ward arc because it's going to be an arc that explains certain things I'm not ready to reveal yet. I know, it sucks ass, I'm just as eager as you guys to get a story out with Izuku and just how dangerous Kuzan can be when he's pushed, but until then, that stuff will be left alone for now

So back to the main focus here! Here's another chapter, a part one of two because I want to get this out for everyone to have a good laugh because I know we all need a good laugh in these trying times we live in! Instead of Dadmight, get a face full... *drum rolls*

Class 1-A shenanigans!

I promised a reader of mine that I would do this for him once this story was up for reading, and I kept my promise to him. I hope you're reading this pal because this chapter is dedicated to you! ENJOY!

Disclaimer: Boku no/My Hero Academia belongs to Kohei Horikoshi, my only claim is my own original character(s)!

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What does everyone smell like?

(as pondered by redskin122004)

Part I

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Class period was over at the current moment, there was still five to six minutes left when another teacher would arrive to take over the class. It was during this little open window of freedom that a small group gathered around Kuzan's desk. And currently, the owner sitting behind the desk was eyeing the group like they had grown extra heads from their necks. More specifically, he was staring at the equally intense golden irises surrounded in darkness.

"What?"

Ashido, the bubbly pinkette beside the invisible girl, crowded herself further into Kuzan's personal space while sporting a disturbingly happy look. "You said plenty of times that you can smell people—"

"Like a bloodhound." Mineta chimed in.

"—so we're all kind of wondering," Ashido gestured to the others joining her on their (stupid) quest for knowledge. "What do we smell like to you?"

Again, the dark-haired boy was giving them a look that said he believed they were off their medications or something. With Ashido leading the mini inquisition, he seriously wondered if maybe she really is some alien chick camouflaging herself to blend in with the rest of the populace so she could secretly gather information to feed to her evil overlord spaceship.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"You can, can't you?" Kaminari persisted, pushing himself forward to lean on the other boy's desk beside Ashido. "Your heightened senses are the real deal, aren't they?"

"Of course they're the real deal, you goddamn pokémon." Kuzan rolled his eyes at the blond while leaning further backwards into his rolling chair, his arms crossing over his chest in an almost defensive manner. "There's no bullshitting when it comes to my Sentinel quirk."

"Alright, jeez, sorry I questioned your oh so awesome capabilities." Kaminari sarcastically drawled while raising his hands in surrender.

"So what's the problem?" Uraraka asked from behind her own desk while watching the mob harass the tangerine-eyed boy. She was just as curious as everyone else on how their own scent was perceived by the tall teen.

"Normal people usually take offense to being told that they smell like something." Kuzan explained.

"When has that ever stopped you from offending someone?" Jirō deadpanned.

"... Touché."

"Oh c'mon, Sen-chan!" Ashido pleaded, her fingers lacing together while pouting at the blank-faced boy who merely raised a single brow at her pathetic display. "Please, please, please tell me! I won't ever ask anything weird from you again!"

"I seriously doubt that."

"PLEASE~!"

"What's going on here?" Iida demanded as he briskly made his way towards them after cleaning the board from the last teacher's messy scrawling.

"I'm being harassed. Help."

"Stop blowing it out of proportion!" Ashido huffed before turning to the class rep. "All we wanted was to know is how Sen-chan here can describe our individual scents, that's all!"

"Oh, then I apologize for disrupting this group study of our classmate's expertise in scenting. Please carry on!"

Because Iida had been facing away the others, he was oblivious to the betrayed look the dark-haired boy was currently giving to the back of his head. Like a bunch of creatures telepathically linked into a single hive mind, they simultaneously drew their eyes back to the boy still seated behind his desk. Knowing that there was no way out of this situation until the day ended (and there was no guarantee that Ashido and her minions would forget about this the next time Kuzan showed his face to class), the tall boy released an exhausted exhale.

"Fine, fine. Just don't hit me if you don't like the answer."

"Oh! Oh! I want you to try me!" Uraraka practically leapt from her seat to join the others.

"No fair, we came to Sen-chan first!" Ashido quickly crushed the doe-eyed girl's eagerness like a stomping foot on an ant hill.

Seeing the brunette slump in her seat with a sad pout on her usually bright face, and still feeling irked at the harassment he had faced until he succumbed to the request of the mob hovering over him like a cloud of smog, Kuzan gave the pinkette a dark look and said, "And just for calling me that dumbass nickname after I told you to quit it, Uraraka gets to go first."

The pink girl howled in outrage.

Ignoring the tantrum beside his desk, Kuzan turned to his doe-eyed classmate. "You smell like green tea, but I can also smell machines on you."

Amusingly, the brunette tried to take a whiff of her own clothes but then quickly gave up on the endeavor after realizing she didn't possess the hypersensitive keen senses available to achieve recognizing odors in the air, let alone her own smell (unless she was sweating heavily after a long day of training). Still, the information shared by her grumpy classmate made her smile in delight.

She liked drinking green tea, it was her favorite beverage, so it tickled her insides that her enjoyment in consuming the tea resulted in it imprinting on her person, creating a unique identification that Kuzan could recognize her with. The machines made sense as well considering her family's business in construction.

Turning away from the smiling brunette, Kuzan faced the pink menace who was now visibly vibrating in excitement to hear what he had to say about her own smell.

"You smell like eggs."

That bit of news left the pinkette—along with half the class—flabbergasted.

"What? That's it?!" the pink girl's shoulders wilted in disappointment. "That sounds boring."

"I think it smells nice. Delicious actually. Makes me hungry thinking about a plate full of scrambled eggs mixed in with some diced up ham."

In the small corner of his mouth, a drop of drool glistened there. Kuzan's mind lingered around the dish, his thoughts on it so strong that he could almost smell it like a phantom limb from the memory alone. He wished school would be over for the day quickly so he could run along home and replicate what he saw in his mind's eye. Meanwhile, the pinkette girl was giving the drooling teen a thumbs down while sticking her tongue out at him.

"Boring~!"

Feeling personally affronted at having his mouth-watering daydream rudely disrupted, Kuzan gave the girl an evil look.

"Whenever you use your quirk, your scent starts to turn rotten."

"Rotten?" Ashido blinked at him.

Iida, who was listening intently along with everyone else, perked up a bit. "I believe what Sengoku is referring to is your acid quirk, Ashido. Your usage of the power changes the chemicals in your body, including your odor, and therefore it is liken to hydrogen sulfide. I am often told that the closest description of the smell is rotten eggs and..."

Iida's voice trailed off because the other description of hydrogen sulfide was too vulgar to say out loud in polite company. However, due to the various visits to the doctors during her childhood when her quirk began to manifest, Ashido was exposed at an early age of learning some of the big words thrown around to get a better understanding on how her quirk functioned. Despite her lack of enthusiasm when it came to studying and homework, the pinkette was well versed in subjects like chemistry and a bit of biology.

And so she understood the unfinished sentence that Iida dared not utter in everyone else's presence.

But it was from this revelation that a rush of horror slammed into her like a speeding truck gone out of control.

Before she could stop herself, Ashido released a bone-chilling howl. Everyone in class jumped, all eyes drawn to the girl who melted to the floor on her knees, her expression morphed into agony as she bellowed to the heavens with tears flowing down her cheeks.

"I SMELL LIKE FART!"

Those nearby gave the mortified girl a wide berth as she continued to howl towards the ceiling while spilling her never-ending fountain of tears; several of the kids tried to offer the poor girl some words of comfort, but it did nothing to soften the painful blow the girl got from finding out that her quirk smelled like somebody breaking wind. Back at his desk, Kuzan whipped his heads towards the gobsmacked Iida who helplessly chopped at the air as a way to express his distress.

"Thanks a lot, you four-eyed encyclopedia! If I get in trouble for this, I'm dragging you down with me!"

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to offend her with my words!"

Kuzan could only crumple back into his seat, releasing a small tired groan in frustration. When the teacher rolled up to the class, they were greeted with the sight of a distraught Ashido who continued to lament her woes throughout the next period.

.x.

"Hey, Sengoku bro, what do I smell like?"

Kuzan froze mid-bite from his lunch, eyes focusing on the speaker: Kirishima.

"Not this shit again..." the dark-haired boy muttered irritably, his appetite evaporating almost instantly.

"Hey, c'mon! You've got everyone curious about what they smell like now," the redhead persisted, scooting his chair closer to the taller boy. "Besides, Ashido got over it."

"Yeah," Jirō—how the fuck did Kuzan not notice her sitting nearby?—snorted as she ate her rice. "Right after she vowed to go buy fruity scented body wash."

Beside Kuzan, Iida looked as though he was experiencing some sort of heart attack by the way he clutched onto the front of his uniform so dramatically; everyone around the table supposed it was Iida's way of expressing his deep regret for inadvertently humiliating poor Ashido. Sero offered his condolences by patting the karate boy on the shoulder, hoping it was enough to lift the other's spirits.

"I told her she only smells rotten when she's really upset, otherwise she smells like breakfast most of the time given her perky attitude." Kuzan stated to the others.

Unfortunately, because he was a dumbass who didn't watch his words carefully in a table full of idiotic juveniles, he was totally unprepared by the ambush that struck him when he was at his most vulnerable. Kaminari and Mineta, the duo that occupied the farthest end of the lunch table, shot out of their seats. Kuzan nearly swallowed his food wrong from the sudden move, but his shock quickly shifted to wariness when he took in their shit-eating grins.

"Does that mean you wanna eat her, Sengoku?"

The exclamation from the two boys caused the dark-haired teen to inhale sharply, but this time his food really did go down the wrong tube. It resulted in a messy cough and a crushed aluminium can he had in his possession, spreading more chaos across the lunch table. Uraraka and Yaoyorozu edged away to save themselves (and their uniforms) while Iida and Kirishima quickly sprung into action to clean the mess.

Once his airways were cleared, Kuzan whirled on the two snickering fools still rejoicing in catching the usually shrewd boy unawares. "You little fucking morons! I'm gonna mop the floor with your faces in the next period!"

Even with the imminent threat of getting their asses handed to them in the upcoming basic hero training after lunch period was over, Kaminari and Mineta continued their dangerous game of poking the already agitated tiger's tail. Knowing now that his dirty looks weren't enough to intimidate the laughing pair into submission (ever since the incident in the USJ facility, majority of the class didn't react to Kuzan's snarling dog demeanor), the tall boy could only quietly seethe in rage from his place. Eager for a distraction, Kuzan's eyes wandered back to the redhead still sitting in front of him from over the table.

Remembering Kirishima's earlier question, the vindictive teen glanced over at the idiots then decided to humor his curious classmate.

"Wanna know what Mineta smells like?"

At the mention of his name, along with the humiliating memory of the scene that took place earlier in their classroom, Mineta's good cheer abruptly ceased to exist. Kuzan could see from his spot how the midget's dark eyes glazed over, the boy's imagination going wild from whatever horrible words could come spewing out of the tall boy. A quick glance around the table told the dark-haired teen that his classmates were intrigued (morbidly so, considering who was the new target of embarrassment). The sphere-headed boy began to pale, cold sweat beginning to pour down his face as if he was imagining a giant guillotine about to come down and slice off his head the moment Kuzan opened his mouth.

"Alright, I'll bite." Jirō broke the silence, albeit with as much reluctance as someone dared to pet a venomous snake. "Tell us, O glorious bloodhound."

Feeling too drunk on the power to react at the small jab to his pride thrown at him, Kuzan gave Mineta a menacing smile before revealing what everyone wanted to hear.

"Kool-Aid."

Everyone sat still for a moment.

"Like artificial Kool-Aid grape juice."

The suspense broke and everyone started to murmur how disappointing that was to hear, some of them even going so far as to give Kuzan a look for hyping up the reveal only to be handed with something mundane, but Kuzan's eyes remained deadlocked on the midget sitting at the end of the lunch table. At first, the short boy looked apprehensive, but as the chatter continued and the atmosphere continued only serenely, Mineta started to unwind. His tense muscles uncoiled and his worried brows wiped away the scrunch above the bridge of his nose.

The midget released a small sigh of relief.

The nightmare was over.

'Bitch, he thought.'

Kuzan opened his mouth and uttered one last word to the unsuspecting students.

"#%*$."

Every motion and noise at the lunch table stopped. In the breadth of a second, the word didn't quite register to the others at first, but upon diving deep inside their inner library to search quickly for the term that was spoken out loud, they immediately identified the word for something beyond vulgar than a student who happened to smell like flatulence. When it finally registered to everyone what was said, when the strings became connected to the dots, that pause in the time sequence they all experienced fast forwarded itself again and the table exploded.

The girls who were once calm and benevolent over their bentō gagged and scrunched their faces in disgust while trying to edge farther away from Mineta's spot. The boys on the other hand were red in the face, secondhand embarrassment for being familiar about what goes on behind locked doors when there was only them and a computer screen to guide them further along the kinky side of the web because reality was too obscured.

As everything went downhill, Kuzan calmly watched the proceedings while finishing the meal his ever awesome mom packed for him (it was köttbullar with steamy noodles and mouth-watering pasta sauce). He faded further into the background while listening to the girls give off shrieks of anger, watching the chaos unfold like how the Joker madly cackled as the city of Gotham fell apart at the seams due to the madness he helped usher along.

Mineta Minoru ceased to function as a human being throughout the rest of the school day. He prayed that his mind would hibernate deep inside until it would awaken a hundred years later after his classmates died and nobody knew who the fuck he was, therefore giving him a second opportunity to live the rest of his life without carrying extra baggage that would forever haunt his footsteps.

.x.

"You smell like pumpkins."

"I occasionally consume pumpkin pie when the mood hits. It's especially popular on my birthdays."

"Do you also like pumpkin spiced latte?"

"My parents are strict in their order for me not to enter any Starbucks establishments. They say it corrupts people."

Well, Tokoyami wasn't wrong.

Their short conversation drew a few raised eyebrows from the others. It was mostly because Tokoyami; the bird-headed boy cautiously approached Kuzan because of the questions that lingered on his mind as of late (seriously, was Class 1-A full of drama queens or was Kuzan just that dead inside?), but once Tokoyami's curiosity had been sated, the two of them ended their exchanged and went their separate ways without a hint of awkwardness.

Their current teacher (Cementoss) had excused himself momentarily because someone outside called for his attention. It probably had to do with some update or another on class schedules because of the brief lockdown the school went through (the Pro heroes scoping the entire campus for any other signs or clues of infiltration). It allowed everyone a short reprieve from classwork and an open window of mingling, thus a few others taking the chance to ask Kuzan about their personal odor.

Kirishima had almost collapsed in aghast horror when he was told that he smelled like a gym, only to be reassured that there was a huge difference between gym smell and locker room smell (which didn't help matters at all).

Ojiro was the next person to be informed that he smelled like a bamboo forest. The martial artist told a short story how most of his life was spent hanging around a dojo that was established some ways out of the town he lived in. It wasn't disturbed by the city, so it became a place of calm and quiet. The teacher there had a bamboo garden, so the scent must've stuck to Ojiro's person when he would go out to train.

The next victim to approach was Kaminari himself. The fool was no longer sporting a confident or goody smile, instead there was an air of trepidation that made Kuzan think about those poor contestants on the Fear Factor shows. Men and women doing crazy shit yet looked seconds away from shitting their pants.

"I swear, this is like a gamble when it comes to you. I can't decide if you're being an asshole or just brutally honest."

"Yes." Kuzan deadpanned. His ambiguous response only made the blond's eye twitch.

"Alright, whatever! I'll take my chances!" the blond inhaled sharply as he prepared himself for the worst when he opened his mouth and asked the dreaded question, "What do I smell like?"

"Like ozone."

Before Kaminari could break out in celebration of being one of the few to draw out the lucky number of this intense lottery (becoming another additional statistic in the classroom who wasn't burdened with an offensive odor), he stopped himself when he spotted a catatonic Mineta sitting in the corner of his vision. The midget was gazing out through the window, eyes trained towards the distance yet seemingly staring into a dark void only he could see. The blond still remembered the reaction everyone had back in the cafeteria, how at first everything seemed fine for Mineta... until Kuzan condemned him with a single word.

The thought of undergoing such a similar fate quickly sobered him up.

"Is that all...?" the blond hesitantly asked.

"Yep."

'Oh thank God...'

"It almost smells like Asui." Kuzan added.

"Call me Tsu," the aforementioned girl corrected her classmate. "I smell like ozone, too?"

"Not quite." Kuzan observed his fingers. "You're more like rainfall."

"Aren't those two the same?" Kaminari scrunched his brows in confusion.

"Ozone is something you smell when you feel the air about to charge up because of the incoming thunderstorm, but petrichor is when it's actually raining." Kuzan explained as he picked at the dirt from underneath his nails. "Personally speaking, I think you guys smell the nicest out of everyone else here."

Asui and Kaminari blinked, surprised by his admission.

Something he clearly hadn't meant to say out loud because suddenly the tall boy went still as stone when he realized what came spewing out of his stupid mouth. His stillness then morphed into something akin to horror. Ever since the USJ incident, Kuzan noticed the change in attitude rippling across his classmates, the way they no longer regarded him with an air of coldness. The other kids began to approach him, joining him at the cafeteria when he followed Uraraka and Iida. It unsettled the tall boy.

Now, because of this, he was pretty certain his reputation as the biggest asshole in school had just gone down the drain.

Kaminari surged out of his seat, surprising some of the kids closest to him. The blond twisted around until he was facing the rest of his classmates, a huge grin plastered across his face as he smugly pointed at them, declaring out loud for all to hear,

"I totally smell better than of you guys!" the maniac laughed out loud, further showcasing his insanity. "You losers don't stand a chance against fresh ozone!"

"Oh, shut up!" Kirishima barked, narrowing his eyes at the other boy.

"Asui's on equal footing with you, so don't even gloat!" Ojiro scowled.

While everyone started to argue back and forth, some of them even turning their attention on poor Kuzan who was trying to disappear underneath his desk, Asui released a small "kero" and smiled at her classmates' antics.