A/N: Still my first Flushed Away fanfic… terrified to make it good

Probably not working and I got a bit carried away but oh well

Chapter Two: Dirty Tricks

Rita wasn't sure whether she should trust Roddy, especially after he broke her ruby, but then, he wasn't exactly asking her to trust him, she reasoned. She let him lead her into the master bedroom, although she did put up a bit of a fight when Roddy tried to place his hands over her eyes. It didn't take much to get him to give up.

He led her over to a jewellery box and made her close her eyes. Rita covered her eyes with her hand but peeked through her fingers, at Roddy. She hated to admit it about such a prissy rat, but he was undoubtedly one of the most handsome blokes she'd met. Especially recently.

"Here," Roddy said, grinning as he reached into the box, picked something up, and withdrew his arm (Rita dropped her hand from her eyes now); holding what was possibly the most beautiful gemstone Rita had ever seen. Compared to this, Rita could see how the ruby she and her dad had worked so hard to get was just glass.

She found herself breathless.

But then a thought formed at the back of her mind. "You want something in return, don't you?"

Roddy frowned. "I – I don't think so." He looked almost confused.

"Then why are you helping me?" Rita demanded. She knew she should just accept the help, but something wouldn't let her.

"Well," Roddy said, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air with a feigned, over-dignified tone to his voice, "I can tell when I'm not wanted. If that's the way you're going to be, then I…" he pretended to cry but it didn't last very long, because he and Rita began to laugh.

"Thank you," Rita said, when they had both recovered their breath. She accepted the ruby; clutched it to her chest. "It's beautiful."

"Do you think it'll be enough?" Roddy asked. Rita nodded.

"I have another idea," Roddy said. "It sounds stupid, but if you're up for it…"

Considering his last idea had involved smashing the ruby she'd found, Rita wasn't sure if she wanted to accept Roddy's offer. On the other hand, he had just given her a new one, so she didn't have much choice but to agree.

The next box was in Tabitha's room. Tabitha, Roddy explained, was the little girl who looked after him. She absolutely adored her fashion dolls (and Roddy) and spoiled them something rotten. It was why Roddy was dressed so nicely: Tabitha had boxed of clothing, many of which were never used.

Roddy wanted to give some of the clothes to Rita's family.

This was getting a bit weird. Had she accidentally stumbled into some hidden camera show, or charity event? But… the way Roddy kept smiling, a goofy smile mixed with sincerity… somehow she couldn't imagine Roddy was anything other than a lonely, generous, very rich pet rat. And that meant that somehow she just couldn't bring herself to say no to the poor guy.

Besides, it wasn't like he got much company around here, was it?

The box of doll clothes that weren't used was actually a bright pink shoebox. It was decorated mostly with wrapping paper, paint and glitter. Inside the box were masses of dolls' clothes, ranging from 1960s rocker gear to football shirts; hot pant bikini outfits to flowing evening gowns; Wallace & Gromit t-shirts with ripped jeans to dinner suits much like the one Roddy was wearing.

Rita turned away. "No."

"No?" she heard Roddy ask. He possibly stepped closer to her as he said it. She wasn't sure. "What do you mean?"

"I can't accept all this," Rita answered. "I mean, aside from the obvious reason –"

"Pride?" Roddy offered. She knew he meant her pride wouldn't let her accept the gifts he was willing to give her. He was probably right, too, but she wouldn't admit it.

"I've also got no way of getting any of those clothes back into the sewers without ruining them. Besides, won't Tabitha notice they're gone?"

"I doubt it," Roddy answered. "After all, the hardly even looks at this box. And I'm sure I can find you some way of getting the clothes back into the sewers without ruining them."

Rita wasn't sure why, but she continued trying to deny the help. "With the ruby you've given me, we won't have to worry about clothes…"

"Maybe not for now, but who knows how long the money will last?"

"It'll last us long enough…"

"Rita." He was taking a firm tone with her again. Not quite commanding; more like willing, almost begging her to listen to him. Rita looked at Roddy: his brown eyes pleaded with her to take the offer. He looked almost like a puppy.

"Alright," Rita heard herself saying. "If I can find a way to get them back home, then maybe –"

"At least try something on before you say that."

Rita tried on a green dress that appeared to be designed for some sort of prom, if only to shut Roddy up. The silky material was so smooth against her skin, and it fit her so nicely… if she never wore it out, she could perhaps keep it as a disguise, because the Toad's henchrats would probably never recognise her in –

Bloody hell. That was a dirty trick.

He probably knew I couldn't say no if I tried something on, she thought to herself. That little sneak.

Suddenly begrudging Roddy every movement she made in this flipping dress, Rita stepped out of the doll house she'd been changing in. "What d'you think?" she asked unenthusiastically.

It definitely shut Roddy up. He stood staring at her, mouth hanging open like he was trying to catch flies. Charming.

Rita cleared her throat loudly and glared while Roddy snapped out of it. "You – you look lovely, Rita," he said. He sounded almost breathless. Rita rolled her eyes. She'd heard all the lines – she'd had multiple boyfriends and too many rats flirting with her to count – and at the end of the day, she wasn't as big a fan of the sweet talk routine as she would have been when she was, say, fifteen.

"Yeah, well don't get used to it," she grumbled, and stormed back into the doll house to get changed back into her regular clothes. When she re-emerged from the house, with the dress folded over one arm, she said, "Alright, Roddy, you win. I'll take the clothes with me."

"Wonderful! I'm sure we can find a sealable bag to put these in…"

Yep. He definitely knew she'd have to keep the clothes if she tried them on. He'd probably been planning it. Sneaky little git.

He summoned her over to a bright red convertible and sped off to the kitchen. Rita had absolutely no idea what was going on or why he couldn't have just left her in the bedroom, but she figured he was probably just really lonely. Sudden company must have come as a huge shock to him. In fact, he probably –

"Found them!" he called from one of the drawers. He waved a couple of see-through zip-lock bags over his head and hopped ungraciously down to the floor again. Roddy's movements in anything like this were always clumsy, Rita noted. Every time he jumped or climbed or basically did anything athletic, he automatically switched from a smooth, faultless gentleman to… well, a bit of an ungainly twit.

"These should keep any water away from the clothes. All we would have to do is keep hold of them."

He looked so proud of himself for figuring it out.

Rita sighed. She'd probably be leaving soon. It wasn't that she was used to it here – sure it was comfortable, but it wasn't her home, and besides, she'd only arrived recently – but perhaps it was that she felt bad for Roddy. He'd be all alone up here again. Maybe she felt bad for leaving him. Maybe she should –

Wait.

"We?"

Roddy's face went red and he stared at the floor. "Well… yes. I was thinking – could I perhaps – stick with you for a bit? Just for a while. I'd return home after a bit."

At first Rita was going to accuse Roddy of not having thought any of this through, but then she realised he probably had no idea about life in the sewers. "How d'you propose to get back when you're sick of the sewers?" she demanded.

"Well, I thought I could find one of the manhole covers just outside and –"

"Roddy, you'd have to take a boat. The treatment plant at Hyde Park creates rapids. They're almost impossible to get past."

"I'm sure you could figure something out."

Rita glared. "Stop trying to sweet talk me, St. James."

"Maybe if you ask nicely, Malone."

Two second later, they were laughing again.

"You might not be a fan of my house," Rita warned, looking around. This house… it was like a palace.

"I won't stay too long," Roddy said, as though in reply to Rita's statement.

"What about Tabitha?"

"Pets run away all the time."

"What if they replace you?"

Roddy paused. He probably hadn't thought of that.

"Well," he said, "I'll probably only stay for a couple of days, then. At least until the world cup's over and they get back."

He smiled; she frowned. It really didn't sound like a good idea. But then, he was giving her all those nice clothes, and a ruby. Maybe they could find some way to get him home other than Hyde Park. There must be another way.

"Alright," she said at last. "If you're sure."

Roddy grinned.

About half an hour later, they were standing on the toilet seat in the bathroom, having moved everything around so it looked as though nothing had been disturbed – just in case there wasn't time when Roddy returned. Rita had secured the ruby in the heel of one of her boots and she and Roddy each gripped a couple of zip-lock bags.

"Ready?" Roddy asked. He didn't look like the sort of rat who'd enjoy the sewer but Rita just went along with it.

"Not too late to change your mind," she said.

"Honestly, Rita, I'm starting to think you don't want me going with you," Roddy teased.

Not if the henchrats catch us, Rita thought grimly. You'll probably hold me up and get me in trouble.

"Alright," Rita said. "Get ready."

She made to push Roddy into the water.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "I can't swim…"

"So stay here."

"No, I want to –"

Rita sighed heavily. "Alright, fine. When we get there, I'll help you. Okay?"

"Uh –"

"Okay." Rita grinned cheerfully and shoved Roddy into the toilet water. He seemed to panic. Maybe he thought she'd just leave him.

"Wait! Stop! Please!"

Ignoring him, Rita pulled the flush on the toilet and then jumped into the water herself. She was okay with the drainpipes but he wasn't. He crashed into everything, screamed, worried, turned around to check if she was still there, crashed again and the whole cycle would start again.

Rita had survived the trip with minimal damage and now stood in maybe an inch or two of water, watching Roddy have a panic attack. He obviously hadn't thought his plan through very carefully. He was standing on the walkway crying about wanting to go home and how he shouldn't be here.

Rita rolled her eyes and groaned, picking up the clothing bags he'd dropped. This was gonna be a long day.