Disclaimer: Anything you recognise isn't mine.

A/N: By the way, I wrote this before book 6, so while some things might be added in now that give spoilers for that book, a lot of things in this story don't coincide with HBP.

Keeping Up Appearances

Draco and Ginny walked into an empty classroom and sat down, Draco shutting the door behind them and locking it with his wand. Ginny took a seat, wondering how she was ever going to get Draco to act like her. Then again, judging by his less-than-amused expression (and she would know that expression well) she realised he would try, even if it was just to ensure that she did the same for him.

Feeling much more relaxed at having sorted that out, Ginny stared at Draco and waited for him to start the discussion that he had so huffily set up.

"First things first," he said sharply, taking a seat down opposite her. "You can't slouch like that."

"What?"

She hadn't even realised that she had been slouching.

"A Malfoy never slouches," said Draco in a haughty voice. "You have to sit up straight, and stop gaping at me like that. A Malfoy never shows when he doesn't understand something."

Ginny just stared at him incredulously. His eyebrow began to rise. She sighed and forced her body to sit up straight. "Talk about stiff," she muttered under her breath.

She knew he was rich, but did that really have to make him so uppity and pompous?

"Excuse me?" demanded Draco, eyebrow now fully raised.

"Nothing."

Draco stared at her piercingly for a moment, but seemed to decide to ignore the comment. Ginny had to be glad for that. She didn't particularly feel like getting into an argument with him already.

"Well, she-weasel," he began, voice still edged with ice. "The main thing you need to know while being me is that you are better than everyone. You do not admit when you are wrong, you do not help people, and you certainly do not notice people who are non-Slytherin, unless it is Potty, Weasel or the Mudblood; in which case, you must insult them. Oh, and Longbottom too. He makes good target practise."

Draco seemed to contemplate something. "I guess that's all for now. I'm sure you can figure out the rest."

"How can you act like that?" she asked disbelievingly. She couldn't believe that anyone could be so arrogant and cruel.

"Because I can," said Draco simply. "So what do I need to know to be a good she-weasel?"

Ginny glared at his choice of name, but knew that there was no point in arguing with him. She needed him to help her, after all.

"I don't know, Malfoy. It's kind of hard to explain myself. I guess the only thing I need to say is to be the complete opposite of yourself. Be nice to people, and don't insult Harry, Ron, Hermione or Neville."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You're no fun, but I'll do it."

"Good."

She stood up, quite glad to get away from him now that their meeting was over, but she knew that she couldn't avoid him forever. They had no choice but to work together now, and there was also the problem of how they were going to get their own bodies back.

"I guess we should meet during lunch at the library to see if we can find anything on what is happening to us," mused Ginny.

"Alright," he agreed, also getting to his feet. "Oh, and Weasley."

"Yes?"

"Don't you dare snoop around my stuff or you'll wish you were dead."

The thought actually hadn't occurred to her, and she felt slightly offended that he would think her low enough to snoop around his things in the first place.

"Like I'd really want to," she muttered, rolling her eyes, "but I guess that goes for you too, Malfoy. If you dare go through my stuff…"

Ginny trailed off, leaving it to his imagination to figure out what she'd do to him. To her surprise, Draco only laughed.

"Oh, and here I was looking so forward to exploring your underwear drawer."

Ginny made a furious swipe to hit him, but Draco stopped her hand before she could make contact. She glared at him. He only smirked in response.

It was in that moment that Ginny decided that Draco Malfoy really was nothing more than an annoying prat.

"Tut, tut, Weasley," taunted Draco. "Aren't you forgetting that you are in my body? You could do some serious damage to yourself if you hit me."

"Oh, shut up," snapped Ginny, and stalked out of the classroom without another word.

She had now decided that Draco Malfoy was not just an annoying prat; he was a supremely, annoying prat. Why she had to switch bodies with him was beyond her understanding, but every second in his foul body was driving her nuts.

The sooner they reversed this, the better.

OOOOOOO

"Hey, Ginny!" a girl squealed, running towards Draco. "Where have you been? I was looking for you after breakfast but I couldn't find you…"

"I was busy," said Draco, glaring at the bubbly blonde next to him. She reminded him of a chipmunk on drugs: all high-pitched and excited.

"What's with you?" the blonde asked, cocking her head to the side.

Draco reassessed his assessment. She was not a chipmunk, but rather an annoying, twittery bird. Maybe a canary.

"Oh, is it that time of the month?" asked the girl, when Draco continued to say nothing. "Poor you."

Draco's expression twisted with horror at the realisation of what she was implying. It was every teenage boy's nightmare to be inflicted with the talk of womanly problems. If this was what he was going to be subjected to in Weasley's body, he thought he might die.

"No, it is not that time of the month, you crazy wench!" snapped Draco, still revolted by the thought of the thing-that-must-not-be-named.

He suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be acting like Ginny, and quickly bit his tongue to stop any more retorts escaping. Calming himself down, he gave as nice a smile as possible. "I mean, I'm sorry. I'm just a little tired."

The blonde cocked her head again but shrugged, obviously deciding that it didn't really matter. "I guess. You did have a rough night last night."

Draco nodded his head, though he didn't have a clue what she was actually talking about. "That's right."

"Well, come on. We've got potions now!" said the twittery blonde, pulling Draco forcefully into Snape's dungeon.

He wondered how Ginny could possibly be friends with something as annoying and loud as this manhandling wench. Then again, she was a Weasley, and they had bad taste in everything…

Draco was surprised to find himself sitting in his usual chair. He didn't like the fact that he shared something in common with Ginny Weasley, even if it was something as trivial as a seat in a classroom.

Professor Snape tore into the room, the same fuming expression he always wore on his face, with his greasy hair flapping and hooked nose flaring like an angry bull. He turned his obsidian eyes on the class, a decidedly nasty smile coming to his lips—or what was left of them.

"Today we will be making a strengthening solution," said Snape in his soft, dangerous voice. "The instructions are on the board. You may start now."

The blonde sighed, no longer looking as animated as normal. "Trust Snape to give us a hard potion straight away."

Draco looked at her blankly. This was easy stuff compared to what he did in his classes, but then he supposed he was a year older. He was probably going to find it extremely easy in all of the she-weasel's classes, which wasn't such a bad thing when he thought about it.

Deciding that he would just get this over and done with, Draco set to work immediately. Snape wandered over and merely sniffed when he stared down at the Slytherin's solution, which was surprising, as Draco was rather used to the greasy-haired professor praising his work.

Snape turned his eyes to the blonde next to Draco and sneered. "Tell me, Miss Rosedale," he said softly, black eyes filled with contempt. "Did you even read the instructions?"

The blonde bit her lip, looking fearfully up at the Potions Master. Draco could see her hands trembling in her lap. She was obviously terrified of the man.

"I did read them, Sir."

"Then how is it that you have failed to add the most important ingredient?"

The blonde hung her head in embarrassment, her cheeks burning a bright red. "I'm sorry, Sir. I don't know how that happened."

"Your excuses are nothing to me, Miss Rosedale. This potion is useless."

He waved his wand, instantly vanishing the potion in the blonde's cauldron, and stalked off to breathe down other students' necks.

"That was totally unfair," exclaimed Draco, genuinely surprised by his Head of House's behaviour. "You could have easily fixed that."

The blonde looked up with tears in her eyes, her bottom-lip trembling uncontrollably. "He wouldn't have cared; he only helps the Slytherins. Look," she said, gesturing to Snape, who was now helping a weedy Slytherin fix his potion. "It's just not fair."

Draco's brow creased. He always found it funny that Snape despised the other houses and only liked the Slytherins, but being on the receiving end was a little different…

The class finished. Draco took his sample up to Snape, who merely looked down his hooked nose at the potion.

"Well, Weasley, it seems that you have somehow managed to create a potion that hasn't blown up in your face. I'm surprised, but it still doesn't reach standard."

Draco glared at Snape. He knew that his potion was perfectly fine, having done it before plenty of times last year. "This would give me an E at least," said Draco in outrage. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't talk back to me, Weasley," ordered Snape icily, his black eyes narrowing with intense dislike. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for your cheek, and anymore from you, and you'll have a detention as well."

Draco opened his mouth to retort, but a brunette with green eyes suddenly grasped his arm and tugged him abruptly away. He didn't even have time to express his frustration at always being dragged around like a rag doll, for the girl was already talking.

"C'mon, Oricarn is waiting for us," said the brunette, still dragging him.

Draco resigned himself to her manhandling and soon found himself faced with the twittery blonde from earlier. He assumed this must be Oricarn. Well, at least now she wasn't crying.

"He's so evil!" spat the brunette angrily, as soon as they were out of earshot from Snape's classroom. "He took away points just because Ginny's potion was good. Speaking of that, how did you get so good suddenly?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Draco. What was the big deal about his concocting a decent potion? Surely Weasley couldn't be that dumb?

"That's the first time you've ever concocted a potion that didn't melt your cauldron or blow up," explained the brunette. "I must say, Ginny, we were all quite surprised."

Draco's lips twitched. Weasley must be dumber than he had previously thought.

"I guess the studying helped," he said, smiling at now having proof of her idiocy.

The blonde smiled cheerfully. It seemed she was over Snape's rudeness to her. "I guess so. In any case, we'd better get to the North Tower. You know how Trelawney gets when we're late. I don't think I can handle her dark omens after just suffering through Snape."

"Too right," agree the brunette.

Draco followed the two girls, who were now gossiping happily about their batty Divination professor. He couldn't deny that he was feeling just a little worried. So far he had managed to convince her friends that he was Ginny, but another class pretending to be Ginny Weasley could be the end.

This was proving to be more trouble than he thought it would be.

OOOOOOOO

Ginny sat brooding over the mess of Transfiguration notes in front of her. She didn't have a clue what any of it meant. She had only just started on this kind of stuff in her own fifth year classes. Unfortunately, she knew that Draco was one of the more intelligent students in his form, so she could only hope that she could do him justice. The only problem was, she had never been particularly studious…

Blaise turned to Ginny with an amused look on his face. "Look at McGonagall through these," he whispered, handing her a pair of glasses that she had just seen Goyle wearing.

Ginny took the glasses from him and put them on a little apprehensively. She lifted her eyes towards McGonagall, and immediately had to stifle a giggle. The stern professor was unmistakably wearing tartan underwear.

It seemed that the glasses had been bewitched to make a person's undergarments show. She had to wonder where the boys had found them, though, in truth, she wasn't really surprised that they did have such an item in their possession.

Ginny took the glasses off and handed them back to Blaise. "Who would've thought?" she whispered. "Everything really is tartan with her. She really must have some Scottish pride."

Blaise grinned, but then his expression promptly shifted to one of deep concentration. Ginny turned her head to see McGonagall moving towards their table, and quickly tried to act as if she had not just been discussing the stern professor's underwear.

McGonagall peered at the badger that was still stubbornly refusing to vanish on Ginny's desk, one thin eyebrow rising slightly.

"Mr Malfoy, I would like to talk to you after class."

Ginny nodded and sighed as McGonagall walked off to tell Crabbe off for falling asleep. She was sure she was being held behind because she had been unable to vanish her badger, and wondered what she could possibly say to make things better. As much as she hated Draco, she couldn't make him fail his classes.

She glanced at Blaise, who was currently staring at the blackboard while tapping his quill absently on his desk. His eyes flicked towards her and a small smile graced his lips. She couldn't help but smile in return.

Ginny had been pleasantly surprised with Draco's friends. She hadn't expected the Slytherins to be so fun, but fun they were. Blaise was easy-going and always had a friendly word, Crabbe and Goyle—although notoriously stupid—were good for a laugh, and even Pansy wasn't that bad when she wasn't trying to cop a sneaky feel under the table.

Really, Ginny had come to realise that all her preconceived conceptions about the Slytherins were completely ridiculous. They weren't cold or rude all the time; they were just teenagers like the rest of the students at Hogwarts, though there was that superiority complex…

"What are you gaping at, Draco?" asked Blaise, smiling. "I thought Malfoys never gawk at people."

Ginny collected herself quickly. "We don't," she said in what she hoped was an imitation of Malfoy's haughty accents, forcing a smirk in place.

Out of all of Draco's friends, Blaise was the one that she had to watch out for the most. The tall, raven-haired boy was very perceptive, despite his easy-going ways.

Blaise laughed softly. "Honestly, Draco."

The bell rang, signally the end of class. Ginny quickly said her goodbyes to the Slytherins, who promised to save her a good seat in Charms. Soon it was just McGonagall and herself left in the class. She sighed and waited for McGonagall to tell her off for not vanishing the badger, while still desperately trying to think of an excuse. After all, she couldn't very well say that she was only a fifth year and couldn't do this kind of magic yet.

"Mr Malfoy, are you even taking your education seriously?" Professor McGonagall began sternly, turning her hawk-like gaze on Ginny. "Your antics with Blaise Zabini are not going to help you pass your N.E.W.T.S, no matter how amusing they may seem at the time."

Ginny stared at the floor. She really didn't know what to say to that.

"I am going to give you extra homework for not vanishing your badger, and in future I hope you consider what is more important: having a good time with your friends or getting a proper education. You are one of the top students in my class, Mr Malfoy. I hope that you will not disappoint my expectations again."

"I understand," said Ginny politely.

"Very well. You may leave."

Ginny nodded and left the room. She was relieved that McGonagall had only wanted to talk to her about that, but she couldn't help but feel just a little bad for Draco. He really was getting the raw end of the deal when it came to their work.

OOOOOO

Draco looked at his watch, a moody expression coming to his face. Why couldn't the over-grown beetle go drown herself in her stupid, pink teacup and do them all a favour? He was quite certain that he was going to die of boredom if he had to suffer any more of listening to the old bag drone on about dreams.

Professor Trelawney glided over, glittering, as was customary, from the many beads surrounding her. Her frizzy hair was more static than usual and her magnified eyes were bulging slightly as she stared at him.

"Ah, Ginevra." She paused suddenly, a frown coming to face. "You seem different, my child. I sense an icy aura behind those fiery eyes of yours."

Draco stared at her completely nonplussed. She really was deranged. He contemplated telling her so, but then he realised that Ginny would never say such a thing, and who knew how the freakish old bat would react.

He was saved the trouble of answering, as Trelawney merely walked away looking slightly confused and muttering to herself that she could have sworn she'd felt that presence before.

Draco wondered if perhaps the dotty professor had realised that he was not really Ginny Weasley, but then that couldn't be right. Trelawney was just a fraud that made up depressing predictions to spook people out.

The brunette, who he discovered was named Lyra, looked at Draco with a puzzled expression on her face. "What was all that about?"

Draco shrugged, not really knowing what to make of it either. "Who knows? The old bat's crazy. I wouldn't pay any attention to her."

Lyra and Oricarn laughed appreciatively at this remark, and just in that moment the bell rang. Draco stood up, not able to resist the smile that came to his face.

Finally, he could leave this stuffy room.

OOOOOOOOOO

Ginny was walking with Blaise down the hallway towards the Great Hall for lunch, when she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be meeting Draco in the library right now. She gasped and looked at Blaise, hoping he would not think it was too weird that she didn't want to have lunch with them.

"Um, you go have lunch without me. I have some things I have to do in the library." She forced a smile. "I thought I'd better start that homework for McGonagall, you know?"

Blaise gave her a quizzical look, but nodded his head all the same. "Okay, Draco. I'll see you later then."

Ginny nodded and watched Blaise enter the Great Hall. She sighed and quickly made her way to the library, hoping that she would be able to find something so that she could get back to herself. As much as she enjoyed the Slytherins' company, she would rather not be stuck in Draco's body.

Madam Pince glared as Ginny entered the library. The pinched-face woman seemed to glare at anyone who dared disturb her lair.

Peering about the library, Ginny was disappointed to see no sign of Draco yet. She sighed again and made her way slowly to a table at the furthest corner of the library to wait for him. Ten minutes later Draco came walking towards her, looking for all the world like he had done nothing wrong at all.

"Oh, so you finally decided to turn up," greeted Ginny with a scowl. She was furious that she had missed her lunch just so that she could wait for him to decide when he was going to come to the library.

"Yes, well I was trying to get rid of Lyra and Oricarn," responded Draco unapologetically, taking a seat at the table.

Ginny made a huffy noise and continued to scowl at him. She didn't really trust herself to speak right now. Most of what was running through her head was best left unsaid.

"It was only ten minutes," Draco snapped. "Now can we please get on with finding a solution to this?"

"Fine," she relented, realising there really was no point in brooding over it. "Where do we begin?"

"I haven't a clue, but the restricted section seems the most appropriate."

Ginny nodded, and together they stood up, both silently agreeing that the sooner they got their bodies back, the better.