Disclaimer: I don't own Pepsi or Twix.
Chapter 2: Funeral Preparations
My head…Again, Baiken couldn't remember what had happened before five seconds ago. She could still remember going to bed two nights previous and most everything before that, but nothing else. She found herself in the passenger seat of a dark, unmoving van, sitting next to Faust, the demon doctor in the driver's seat, looking straight ahead through the eyehole of his paper bag with knees extended up to his chest and his fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel at eight o' clock and twelve o' clock. He obviously failed his driver's ed class.
She pressed her thumb and index finger against her temples to quell the pain in her brain. Hey, that rhymes! "Your hands are supposed to be at ten and two."
Faust spoke from behind his paper bag, "You've said that three times to me before and I still don't know what you're referring to!"
The back door of the van suddenly sprung open and two panicking figures rushed up to the opening. Baiken's hands still pressed against her aching head, so she couldn't see what was going on, but she felt something relatively heavy push down against the back of the van before the other two figures, as well as one that was concealed behind the back door, pulled themselves into the vehicle alongside their cargo. As soon as she heard the back door close, Faust slammed on the gas pedal with both feet, which were somehow twisted around each other in a very strange position.
Police sirens rang out a few miles away, and seemed to get increasingly louder. Baiken could sense the three figures in back panicking more and more, but mostly due to the fact that they were kicking the backs of the two front seats so that her and Faust's heads slammed against the dashboard repeatedly. Baiken was ready to kill whoever was in the back for adding fuel to the fire of her headache.
The van raced down a familiar road, tilting dangerously with each tight curve. A police car turned a corner in the rear view mirror, sirens blaring louder than ever. The reversed image of the car stayed at the same size as Faust pushed all the way down on the gas pedal, hands shaking. He couldn't shake the tail.
"That's it!" He screamed, slamming on the brakes and sending Baiken's face into the windshield. He kicked open the driver door, whipped his scalpel from a concealed hole inside the back of his seat and leapt into the street, shrieking "Come n' get me, coppa's!"
"What the hell are you doing?!" another panicked voice from behind shouted. Faust hesitated, then, hunched over, retreated to the van. As soon as he pulled the door shut, the police car hurled past the vehicle, missing by inches, and exploded upon speeding into a fireworks factory. Much to the dismay of many, no fireworks were triggered.
"Sorry people," Faust stammered. "I keep thinking I'm playing Grand Theft Bus."
A young man's voice from behind responded, "Don't you mean Grand Theft Au-"
"Don't finish that! We can't afford to put another disclaimer at the top like we have been for the last ten chapters! That game company will sue us like everyone else has!"
"Huh?"
Faust took a bite of his Twix bar and washed it down with a sip of his delicious diet cherry Pepsi. He sped down an abandoned freeway, where the police sirens quickly faded away from earshot. He parked on the dirt terrain, headlights pointed to a totally empty area. All but Baiken exited the van. Everyone still failed to explain to her what they were doing there, and what the cargo in back was. Well, since no one was around, she decided to see for herself. She unbuckled her seat belt and pulled herself into the back. She immediately recognized what they were carrying.
It was a corpse. The corpse of That Man's servant, I-no, stinking with decay. Baiken slouched against the back of her seat, smirking. That witch was finally dead. After months of tracking her down, That Man's closest ally was finished. Her lifelong mission was just made easier.
Outside she heard the sounds of metal scraping against the earth. Baiken would gladly help bury the remains. Gladly.