OK welcome to chapter two and unless I get a good idea for a chapter three this will be the end of this little drama. This fic was done for my own twisted amusement, but it is nice to know a few of you out there in Otaku Land like it too. You know who you are. If this is the end I'd like to say thanks and good bye, if not then I would like to say you had better come to chapter three because that most likely will be the end with how long these chapters are.
WarNinGs: Same as chapter one really. Add On's: More Quatre angst in this one, Classic Sci-fi elements still present,
Aishi Say
"Now it's a little late."
From 'Hey Man Nice Shot' by Filter same as chapter 1.
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Quatre sighed softly to himself as he walked down the dark hallways allowing his gifts to guide him he blinked when he heard a familiar voice. "Where did you hear that?" He heard a familiar sigh as he inched towards the partially open door. "Form this Quatre person." 'Trowa!?'
"And what does he know about the four of us?" Heero asked, unaware of Quatre as he glanced through the crack in the door.
"Too much in my opinion," Trowa answered from where he was leaning against the catwalk arms crossed.
"Is he a threat?" Heero inquired trusting the other's opinion.
"Not unless he's captured," Trowa replied after a moment of thought.
"You're sure?" Heero asked, he still had his doubts. And wanted a second trustworthy opinion.
"He's overly emotional, timid, and does not appear to have had any real training other then piloting, but nothing leads me to believe he is a threat to any of us." Trowa summarized, it was his job to analyze threats.
"Can we trust him?" Heero asked after a moment, it was the next logical question.
"Yes. He seems very found of me for some reason," Trowa answered with a shrug, partners played some part in that.
"You did say in his world you two are partners that could be it." Heero suggested, it was a logical conclusion.
"Possibly, but it just feels like it's deeper then that somehow." Trowa commented, sure of it, even if he was not sure why
Heero frowned at him, this was one of the things he counted on the other for. "Have you're feelings ever been wrong?"
"No, that's the problem." Trowa answered, his feelings had kept him alive.
"As long as he proves useful I don't care one way or the other if he's from some other dimension or not," Heero informed him.
"Do you believe what he said?" Trowa asked looking up, it all sounded like some movie of Duo's.
"About Duo and I? No. I don't care what happened on his world, it does not have to repeat itself here," Heero answered not really wanting to think about Duo right then.
Trowa nodded, not incline to disagree with him on the matter, "Understood."
"Do not let all his talk of his world distract you. He is here now, and he'll just have to except it or die." Heero reminded him, he did not want his most useful ally distracted.
Quatre gasped stepping back. 'Heero?! I've almost forgotten what you used to be like.' He blinked when Trowa walked out of the room, "Trowa?"
Trowa turned his head to look at him, "What are doing here?" He asked more surprised then annoyed.
"Inspector H said I should look around so I am. What's in there?" Quatre asked trying to read him, he would need every advantage he could get.
"That room leads to the bay," Trowa answered absently, there was no reason to lie.
"Oh…Is everything all right?" Quatre asked knowing that tone, at least he was no annoyed.
"Yes," Trowa answered as he started walking away.
"I'm glad Heero returned all right," Quatre commented stopping the talker youth.
"How do you know he's all right?" Trowa asked turning to face him, hearing him talk would not grantee anything but life.
"I can feel his pain," Quatre admitted softly, knowing he was giving up an advantage, but he hated keeping things from Trowa.
"New Type?" Trowa asked studying him, that would explain a lot.
"Yes I am, though not the same kind as Heero. I'm mental while he's mostly physical. Do you have something against New Types?" Quatre asked knowing his Trowa could care less, a friend was a friend and a foe was a foe.
"Only if they are in my way," Trowa answered just as he had before.
"Some things will never change," Quatre said smiling slightly, it was good to know he had something to work with.
Trowa frowned at Quatre, knowing the blond had said that for a reason, "What do you mean by that?"
"You attacked me because I was in your way, even though you were out of ammo, and outnumber forty one to one. Later you went after Heero for being in your way too. Now that I think about it you do that a lot. I'll have to work on that when I get back," Quatre answered smiling at the last thought.
"You are too cheerful," Trowa informed him as he turned and started walking again.
"Funny, you've never said that before," Quatre commented as he fell in beside him, well never seriously anyway.
"How is that funny?" Trowa asked tilting his head questioningly at him, he saw nothing funny about it. 'This youth is confusing.'
"Funny as in ironic. I wonder if my optimistic nature bothers my Trowa as well?" Quatre asked thinking out loud, frowning, he was not sure if this Trowa really minded.
"Has he ever told you it does?" Trowa asked, not sure why his opinion would mean so much to the fragile looking blond, but now he was curious.
"No, of course he never told me I was too emotional to be a pilot either." Quatre answered after a moment to think about it. "You were partially right about that by the way. My emotions allowed the Zero to control me. I almost killed both you and Heero," He admitted, Trowa seemed to make good points no matter which one he was.
"Why do you say our names like that?" Trowa asked confused., paying attention to tone was part of his job.
"Huh? Like what?" Quatre asked unaware he had said them any certain way, which did not mean that he had not.
"Like…they are important to you," Trowa answered frowning slightly, it sounded sentimental but it was the easiest way to phrase it.
"Because they are. I cannot even begin to explain what the five of us mean to one another. We have all gone through so much..," Quatre explained before biting his lip. "And I wasn't here to help any of you guys through it." He lowered his head tone sad, most of it had happened long before they had ever even met.
"We made it, you did not," Trowa reminded the depressed teen evenly, he did not see any reason for the blond to feel guilty.
"I know, but you and Heero are so cold, maybe even colder then you were we I first meet you." Quatre countered still not looking up, that thought scared him a little. If his friends were even less human he had less to work with, less to bring, less if they would even allow him to try.
Trowa shook his head unsure why the blond seemed so upset, "It is how we have survived so long."
Quatre shook his head, "No, it's really not. You both use that coldness as a shield, keeping everything out, that's not strength that's weakness." He informed Trowa voice betraying his frustration.
Trowa stopped, turning to face him, "You are a fool. The weak die in battle."
"You both are dead Trowa. All that remains are frozen corpses who keep fighting because they do not realize they have died, and they can finally stop." Quatre said sadly as frustration gave way to pity.
"We are not dead, you are," Trowa reminded Quatre of the simple fact he seemed to keep forgetting. In this world he was dead and he had to remember that.
"Not physically maybe, but your souls have died," Quatre informed him voice distant.
"I don't believe in souls," Trowa countered, spirit and soul were not the same thing.
"Why because you can't see them? Damn it Trowa! Not everything can be seen some things require faith…" Quatre trailed off and turned his head away. "Oh Allah..."
Trowa blinked, use to being yelled at, if not quite so erratically. "Who?" He asked confused, the word sounded familiar but he was drawling a blank.
"Allah is God," Quatre answered absently, he was use to that question.
"Ah. Why did you say his name?" Trowa asked, it had not sounded like a prayer to him.
"Because I just yelled at you," Quatre answered biting his lip, eyes down, guilt evident.
"So?" Trowa prompted not sure why that would matter, emotional people yelled.
"So?!…So I hate yelling at you," Quatre admitted turning his head away.
"Why?" Trowa was confused by the blond's answer, he did not understand so called normal people.
Quatre blinked up at him, this was a normal conversation really, "It's not fair to you."
"Fair? Life is unfair," Trowa reminded him with a shrug, fairness was an illusion he did not concern himself with.
"I know that Trowa but…oh never mind you wouldn't understand." Quatre countered before giving up, stubbornness defiantly ran in his family..
"What wouldn't I understand?" Trowa asked tone slightly annoyed, he did not care for people questioning his competence.
"How I feel. You aren't my Trowa, you don't know anything about me…you don't even like me." Quatre sniffed rubbing his eyes, at least when they were strangers the first time Trowa had not known him. "Right now I really miss him."
"As I said you are too emotional," Trowa reminded the other teen shaking his head, still amazed the blond could function well enough to pilot a Gundam.
"I'm an Empath I can't help it. I don't feel anything from you," Quatre admitted before looking up.
"Of course you don't, I don't feel," Trowa reminded him, surely that had been commented on enough.
"Yes you do, deep down some part of you does. It's the part that cares about your sister, the others,…me." Quatre protested becoming emotional, he knew that part, he had fallen for that part.
"Because you are my partner?" Trowa ventured, it was a logical assumption, dead or compromised partners could become a liability.
"No, because I'm your friend. We all are, but not here," Quatre answered sadly, Duo was still pretty much Duo at least.
"So in your world we are friends? Why?" Trowa asked curiously getting the better of him, a nasty habit he had never completely broken himself of.
"Because we fight together, we depend on each other." Quatre explained simply, simple logic seemed to be his best means of explaining how he felt and getting through.
"But you are weak?" Trowa reminded Quatre still confused, why depend on someone weaker then you it made no sense.
"Yes I am, but with you and the others I am strong. My Trowa understands that." Quatre answered, wondering if he had confused his Trowa as much in the beginning as well, he likely had
"I am not that person," Trowa reminded Quatre turning, he had to keep that fact in mind.
"You could be if you wanted to be. He is still alive, and still an unstoppable force." Quatre informed him trying to appeal to this Trowa's apparent mindset, survival of the fittest.
Trowa turned to look over his shoulder, "And what if I do not want to be him?"
Quatre lowered his head as Trowa walked away. 'But I want you to be.'
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"Duo are you in here?" Quatre asked peaking into a room, Duo was very good at being sneaky.
"Nope, I'm behind you," Duo answered getting a jump out of the blond. "Sorry just couldn't help it. So what do you need me for?" Quatre turned sniffing, the blond clearly miserable. "Oh what happened to you?" Duo asked lifting Quatre chin the blond only sniffed in response. "That's it my room now." Quatre blinked when Duo slipped an arm around his shoulders pulling him with him. "Don't worry about a thing I'm here now." Duo smiled swiping a card through a card reader, "After you."
Quatre nodded walking inside the room, it was very his Duo with CDs, DVDs, and other junk piled on and in shelves, in piles, and on the TV and stereo. "You are definitely Duo. Are you allowed to have all these things?" He asked turning to look at him, Duo did not always go around following the rules.
"Well…um see it's up to your keeper what you are allowed to have, or not to have." Duo answered rubbing the back of his head. "G let's me have all this stuff because I do what I'm told like a good dog. Now sit and spill."
Quatre sat down with a sigh, he needed no further prompting, "This is too hard."
"What is?" Duo asked sitting down beside him, he could guess but had a feeling he would not have to.
"Everyone…I've known them for about three years now, yet I don't know them at all," Quatre answered sadly, chin his hands.
"Ah, now we're communicating. Trowa said something didn't he?" Duo asked already knowing the answer, he knew people pretty well too.
"He's said a lot. It makes me question everything my Trowa has ever said to me," Quatre admitted as if the idea hurt him like a wound.
"Why? I mean they ain't the same guy... Exactly," Duo asked trying to cheer his new friend up.
"This Trowa is who my Trowa was when we first met cold, indifferent, dead inside." Quatre explained not turning to look at Duo, lost Trowa had been closer to who he was now then who he had been then.
"OK, but he is very good at what he does, he's second best." Duo commented, he sure as Hell wasn't about to challenge him seriously anytime soon.
"But he doesn't have be that cold, I know," Quatre countered, knowing how good Trowa was very well.
"My new friend it took me a year to get him to call me by my name," Duo informed him not wanting Quatre to hope for too much too soon.
"Have you ever seen him smile?" Quatre asked, suddenly changing the subject as he looked up.
"Smile no, sneer yes, and when he does that I run away," Duo answered, he was not sure if Trowa could even smile like a normal not threatening person.
"Why?" Quatre asked, not sure why Duo would be so afraid, Trowa had smirked, and sneered, at Duo before with no ill effects.
"Why?! 'Cuase someone's gonna die that's why. I don't want him to forget which side he's on." Duo answered only half joking, the guy was called the Silencer he hardly needed a better reason then that.
"My Trowa doesn't sneer...I think. In any case he would never shot one of us." Quatre assure him smiling, teasing Duo hardly counted.
"I like yours better," Duo informed the blond with a grin, he sounded way more fun to tease.
"So do I," Quatre agreed head down, the angry ghost hurt to be around.
"Look, I know they are essentially the same guy, but you can't expect too much form him, after all he's a suicidal idiot." Duo reminded him, he liked the blond and did not want him crushed.
"Baka," Quatre corrected absently.
"And when did we become Heero?" Duo teased, interested in what that one word could mean.
"You often say baka…sorry I did it again." Quatre apologized, at least with Duo he was not likely to be hurt.
"Eh no worries. See I'm the Sci-fi lovin' understanding one. Wufei is so going to flip." Duo informed him grinning, he was looking forward to that.
"Why are you being so nice to me? You don't know me either? My Duo was nice to me when we first met to. Are you just like this?" Quatre asked, not wanting to get his hopes up. His powers were adjusting to this place, but they were still weak.
"I can tell you're harmless, but yeah, I try to make friendly with everyone. Tell me more about your Heero?" Duo pleaded, curious about this other world that sound so much nicer then his own.
"Well he's basically the same, but over the few years we've known each other he's become more human. He shows more emotion, sometimes more then Trowa. You two often joke around like old friends. You've been a great influence on them both." Quatre answered with a smile, he hoped Duo could help this Heero.
"So Trowa shows emotion too?!" Duo asked shocked, he had not seen much he outside of the Batman range.
"Yes, but other then amusement he does it very subtle, it's a nice contrast to me." Quatre admitted, blushing a little he did get very emotional at times.
"Yeah, well, our Trowa isn't the amused type. So you two really aren't together in your world?" Duo asked somewhat confused, form the way Quatre spoke it surprised him.
Quatre blushed, "My Duo loves to tease me about him all the time but, no."
"You want to be don't you?" Duo cooed, knowing he was right, blond was pretty easy to read, and adorable pink.
"More then anything…but I'm too afraid to do anything about it. When he's on Earth with his sister I often think about how I would tell him, what he would say, but I can never get the words out." Quatre admitted softly, knowing he was being silly but unable to help it.
"Let me guess he's always so sweet and attentive towards you, and it makes you wish he'd do something more?" Duo ventured, wondering if his Heero had been that way to his counter part.
Quatre nodded, "And what's worst is I can feel how he feels, and I know he cares for me, but how deeply I'm not sure of. When I look at your Trowa I see a ghost of mine."
"You want to help this one too don't you?" Duo asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, he knew that feeling himself.
"Of course I do, you are all my friends…or you could be. Oh Trowa I need you now," Quatre sobbed face in his hands.
Duo pulled the blond close, "There, there little buddy. It must really suck being stuck here in this fucked version of your life, but at lest you have one friend."
Quatre sniffed, it did make things bearable, "Allah bless you Duo."
Duo grinned, "Allah Huh? Cool, thanks, I could probably use it." Quatre smiled at Duo's teasing, only to blink when he heard a beep. "One sec kay?" Duo asked taping a sliver pin of his kanji on this left color, "Yo?"
"Zero Two you need to brief us on your last mission," Professor G's voice ordered, he did not sound amused like Doctor S had or friendly like Inspector H.
"Right now G?" Duo asked, not really wanting to leave Quatre all alone at the moment.
"Yes, briefing room 009," Professor G answered.
"Coming. Sorry Little Guy duty calls. If I were you I'd go talk to our stoic Cyclops," Duo suggested grinning.
"But I don't know where he is? It's hard to sense people in this place." Quatre admitted, starting to get the feeling it was designed that way.
"I think it's suppose to be. You do remember the symbols on his collar right?" Duo asked, not sure if Quatre had been paying that much attention to anything but his face.
"All I really notice was that he was wearing one," Quatre answered blushing slightly, he had not really been thinking about it at the time.
Duo smiled turning his high vest collar, "Just look for this symbol." He instructed pointing at the symbol for zero, "Fallowed by three lines instead of two."
"Oh…thank you Duo," Quatre said smiling, leave it to Duo to be encouraging on any world.
"No big, go have fun. Oh wait you'll need one of these," Duo held out a credit card sized card with symbols Quatre couldn't read except Duo's number. "These open doors, that's my spare one. I'm sure yours aren't programmed yet."
"Programmed?" Quatre asked confused studying the card, surely these could not be that different the hotel keycards.
"Yep, each pilot's is different, but they all work on most stuff like our rooms so it's no big deal, just remember to give it back. G would scolded me if I lost it," Duo explained, he was not concerned with the blond getting him in trouble on propose.
"But what if he doesn't want to see me?" Quatre asked, that could be very likely and rather painful.
"Then the card won't work. I wouldn't worry about it kid just go for it," Duo answered as he walked off giving him a thumbs up.
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"So you are Quatre?" Heero commented looking him over, the blond looked no more dangerous then Duo.
Quatre turned at the familiar voice, "Yes Heero." He fidgeted slightly under a familiar cold blue glare, "Can I help you?"
"He was right, you are no threat to us unless captured." Heero informed him, once again Trowa had proven accurate.
"Heero?!" Quatre blurted sounding hurt, even focused his Heero was rarely that curt with him.
"Why are you looking at me like that? I did not hurt you," Heero asked frowning, he was starting to understand the rest of what Trowa had told him.
"I'm sorry, it's just the Heero I know wouldn't say that to me," Quatre answered head down, at least not anymore.
"Why, because you are friends?" Heero demanded, wondering if he had learned do look so pathetic from Duo.
"Yes. You don't like me do you?" Quatre asked looking up, it would not surprise him in the least, Trowa seemed curious but he would not call it like.
"I do not know you," Heero answered without really answering the question, he might find him tolerable in time.
"Not anymore," Quatre murmured sadly, eyes downcast, unsure if he would be able the wear the others down even in five years.
"Is it true?" Heero asked not specifying what he meant, this blond was rather confusing.
Quatre blinked, Heero did not ask pointless questions anymore then Trowa did, "Is what true?"
"That Duo and I…?" Heero clarified frowning, unwilling to say the rest, he did not want to encourage the blond.
"Yes, for a few months now. But you are not my Heero so…" Quatre answered feeling Heero's discomfort, one hardly needed Empathic gifts to know it.
"Your Heero trusts you?" Heero asked watching the other closely, he did not see this one as a good liar.
"He chose me to take over for him when he can't be there," Quatre answered knowing that would mean more then a simple yes.
"Why? Trowa is a much more logical choice," Heero asked clearly surprised by his answer.
"Maybe, but it works for us, our war is mostly over. At the moment we are flushing out the last of the enemy's strongholds." Quatre answered, Heero had chosen him and no one had challenged it so it had never really come up.
"Impossible," Heero scoffed, this youth could not be that important to the world and the war.
"Heero, you may not be my Heero but your gifts are the same. Look me in the eye and say that?" Quatre challenged, he had learned to stare down the deadliest pilots alive.
Heero meet soft teal eyes before looking away, "How?"
"We all adapted. All five of us have changed, some more then others." Quatre answered, it was a simple answer, but it was the truest.
"Why would we change?" Heero demanded, adapting was one thing but people changing was another.
"Over time we learned to trust each other," Quatre informed him, it really was that simple.
"We trust each other, but we are not close." Heero countered, trust only went so far, as did mutual goals and mindsets.
"I know. You trust each other not to betray, but not much else. Unless you four learn to trust like we do you will stay distant," Quatre explained not shying form Heero's glare.
"Yes well this works for our war. This is for you, look through it when you get a chance." Heero said holding out a large envelope like manila folder.
"Thank you I will." Quatre assured him taking the envelope with a gentle smile. Heero blinked at him before turning away and walking off. Quatre watched him go frowning slightly before glancing down at the golden symbols. 'So this is me? Pretty.'
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'It really opened?! Thank you Duo.' "Hello? Trowa are you here?" Quatre called entering the room looking around. He set his envelope down when he noticed a small black jewelry box on the nightstand. "What is this?" He opened the box, blinking down at the thin fragile looking golden cross that rested on black velvet. Where the bottom part of the cross connected to the top three arms it was scared, as it had been broken at one point. "Middi," Quatre whisper quietly, knowing instantly what it was, and who it had been from.
"What do you know of her?" Trowa demanded arms crossed, eyes cold, annoyance clear.
Quatre jumped turning, he had not even sensed him come into the room. "You told me about her…my Trowa did I mean. Forgive me I did not mean to..," The blond apologized head down, he did not remember annoying his Trowa quite as much.
"Pry? I rather doubt that. Since we meet you have been asking things of me no one else ever has." Trowa informed him frowning, Duo tended to shut up when frowned at.
"I really am sorry I just…I want to help you like I did my Trowa," Quatre admitted softly. 'Please don't be mad at me?'
"I am not him," Trowa reminded the blond softly, the other had meant no harm and was no threat to him.
"I know you are still Nanashi," Quatre said accepting the fact, the man he knew did not exist yet here, he may never exist here.
"That hurts you doesn't it? That I am him yet not him?" Trowa asked, confused by the fragile youth's obvious pain, and why he seemed to care in spite of himself.
"Yes is does, very much," Quatre admitted looking up, he had no reason or desire to lie. "My Trowa always gives me the strength and compassion I need when things just get to be too much for me to bare all alone. Right now I could really use him."
"Why would he help you? I do not understand," Trowa admitted, keeping allies alive and sane was one thing, what he was describing was another.
"Well, to be perfectly honest I'm not entirely sure myself. I meet up with him after Heero had healed form self-destructing Wing, and we all just started to get along a little better then we did at first. What we have now grew form that simple understanding, that we weren't all alone anymore. Do you understand that?" Quatre explained before asking, wishing he knew something else he could say.
"What that I do not have to be alone? Yes, but I chose to be," Trowa answered nodding, the other was starting to make sense again.
"Why Trowa? What possible advantage is there to staying all alone?" Quatre asked, not understanding why someone would chose to be all alone.
"If I lose then only my life will be forfeit, no one else's. No one else should have to pay for my mistakes," Trowa answered softly, it was something the others could all understand.
"Forfeit?! Is that why you…?" Quatre asked trailing off meeting dark green eyes, a sudden thought making it hard to speak.
"Why I what? You really shouldn't trail off like that, it is very distracting," Trowa informed him frowning slightly, curious to hear the rest of his though.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Well um…in my reality the Zero took control of me." Quatre explained, it had been rude of him to just stop talking.
"Yes, you mentioned that," Trowa reminded him, watching the blond fidget slightly.
"Well the enemy sent two Mobile Suits built by the scientist to stop me," Quatre continued still fidgeting slightly as if nervous about something.
"Stop you?" Trowa asked confused, head tilting slightly.
"I was blowing up colonies," Quatre admitted, catching a look of open surprise before it disappeared. "The two suits were called the Merciurios, piloted by the captured Heero, and the Vayeate piloted by you." He bit his lips wondering if those names meant anything here, praying they did not.
"And yet you're alive?" Trowa asked now even more confused, after all how could this fragile looking thing beat the two most powerful pilots alive. 'Could he be that good?'
"You didn't attack me… you tried to talk to me and, and I shot you," Quatre looked up teal eyes shining. "I intently tried to hurt you. Heero attacked me after that, I guess he figured if I wouldn't listen to you then he would just have to kill me. Maybe part of him thought it would be cruel to make us fight each other. I guess why really doesn't matter now. We fought for a while, I had the superior suit seeing that mine was a Gundam. You took the hit for him in an already damaged suit saving Heero's life." He looked away tears in his eyes. "You knew that you were going to die, but you did it anyway with no hesitation or regret. All that mattered to you was saving both our lives the only way you knew how…with your own. You asked me…," Quatre trailed of crying too hard to speak for a long moment. He looked up when he felt gentle hands on his shoulders, "Trowa?!"
"What did I say about trailing off?" Trowa reminded him voice even but soft, he had never seen anyone look so sad and he had grown up surrounded by war.
Quatre blinked up at him before nodding, just like Trowa to use practical logic to get someone to focus. "I remember. You asked me to turn back into the nice guy you once knew. That is all he wanted of me. I watch what we both thought was your death and I snapped."
"Snapped?" Trowa asked unsure what he meant by that since he had already admitted he had been insane, or at least deranged during this fight.
"Yes...I was me again, and I realized what I had just done. Heero attacked again either in retaliation, or he knew I was distracted, or maybe even both I'm not sure. I didn't care, I begged him to hurry up and destroy me so he could go save you. At the time we both thought you were dead, but I just couldn't accept it…you couldn't be gone. Not like that!" Quatre sobbed clinging to him, burying his face into warm black, "I'm so sorry."
"Quatre?" Trowa asked softly, making no move to detach the blond.
"Yes?" Quatre whispered into the other's chest, he did not want to think just then but it was Trowa asking.
"That never happened to me remember?" Trowa reminded the blond, answering his earlier unspoken question.
Quatre took a few steps back blushing fiercely, "I…I'm very sorry." He bowed his head, hands folded before him.
"For what you, didn't hurt me?" Trowa asked, the blond had caused no damage or harm.
"I keep forgetting you aren't my Trowa. I should not have done that," Quatre admitted still not looking up.
It was improper of him to cling to a stranger, Trowa sometimes pulled him close if he just stood there crying, but this young man was not his dear friend.
Trowa walked up to Quatr, lifting his chin with a gentle finger, "You speak of him as if he is something precious to you …why?"
Quatre blinked at the soft tone he knew so well, he closed his eyes thinking for a moment. "Because he is. He is my partner, my best friend, my..," He trailed off looking down, not sure if he should continued.
"Your what? What aren't you telling me?" Trowa demanded gently, knowing force would never get the fragile looking blond to revel what he wanted.
Quatre bit his lip raising his eyes, Trowa was curious rather then annoyed, at least for the moment. 'He's not your Trowa but he's still Trowa, if I tell him will I know how my Trowa would react? Do I really want to know?' "I haven't even told him," He admitted, he had no doubt Trowa would catch him in a lie.
"What could be so terrible that you can't tell him?" Trowa asked the blond confused, and not even trying to hide it, he already knew it was pointless.
"No, it's not like that at all!" Quatre protested, wanting to shake his head for emphasis, but his chin was still being held and he enjoyed familiar comfort of the touch. "I…It's just hard to say." 'Can you even understand that?'
"You're in love with him aren't you?" Trowa asked, watching soft teal eyes blink before widening. "That's why you really want to play friends because I am the next best thing?" He accused tilting Quatre's chin up a little higher, "Well say something?"
"Please stop? I do love him, but I do not want to use you as a substitute, I truly do want to help you," Quatre assured him placing his hand on Trowa's getting a blink. "I don't want to use or trick you in any way, you have to trust me."
Trowa laughed coldly at him, "I don't have to do anything you tell me to fragile Quatre."
"Why…Trowa?" Quatre pleaded, not sure why Trowa was being this way.
"Why does that upset you so much, I am not your Trowa?" Trowa demanded curiously, this was a new feeling and it had gotten his attention.
"I know but…it can be so hard to remember that. Do you think my Trowa loves me?" Quatre asked unsure how that question would be taken, he was hoping for well.
"I have no idea, I cannot think like him," Trowa answered turning form him.
"Why?" Quatre asked, were these two really so different that Trowa could not understand himself, the very thought hurt his head.
"Simple," Trowa answered as he unzipped his vest. "I do not know how to feel as he does, therefore I can never hope to understand him well enough to fully judge his responses." He turned to look over his shoulder, "Frowning like that will not change anything."
Quatre looked up watching Trowa remove the vest and toss it aside. 'What is he doing? The scar!'
Trowa froze when Quatre traced his scar with pale fingers, "What are you doing?" He asked looking over his shoulder again.
Quatre looked up before pulling his hand back blushing, "Sorry…he has the same scar." He explained completely forgetting about his earlier train of thought, Trowa was very good at directing other's attention whether he meant to or not.
"Of course he does baka, we grew up the same way," Trowa reminded Quatre frowning slightly, he had gotten that scar years before he had ventured into space.
Quatre blinked before sniffing, turning his head away, "I'm sorry I should go." He turned, only to freeze when a gentle hand rested on his shoulder stopping him.
"You don't have to. I shouldn't have insulted you, this must be very confusing to you, and I should be more understanding." Trowa admitted voice soft, he was use to Duo, who was not as easy to insult.
Quatre turned to look at Trowa taking his hand in his, squeezing it gently with a smile. "It's all right Trowa, I must be very annoying going on like this. I am being an idiot, and my Trowa would have called me on it too." Quatre assured him, "Though I would hope in a nicer way."
"He really cares about you doesn't he?" Trowa asked squeezing Quatre's hand, it was warm but felt very fragile in his.
Quatre nodded, not really sure where this Trowa might be going with the question, but also seeing no reason not to answer him. After all if he could help him understand maybe he could help him heal, "Yes, he does very much, but all my friends do." 'And he cares deeply for those few he calls friends, it's just his way, just like the rest of us really.'
"I had a feeling you would say that," Trowa commented looking at him a smirk on his face. Quatre blinked confused by the expression, remembering what Duo had told him he closed his eyes trying to read what the other was feeling but he could not. "It makes you wonder how deeply he feels for you doesn't it? Sometimes you must wish he'd just come out and tell you?" Trowa asked voice teasing, while no lair he often did not tell people anything he did not care for them to know.
Quatre open his eyes knowing that tone form Duo, he stood there frozen in shocked disbelief 'Is he really flirting with me, or is he only playing like Duo? Either way why?'
"What? Am I wrong?" Trowa asked knowing he was not, this youth was too easy to read.
"No you aren't it's just…you said..," Quatre trailed off when Trowa pulled him close. "You said you couldn't understand him?" He accused frowning up at him, withholding information and lying were not the same thing.
Trowa smirked at the accusation, "Only to the point I could not answer for him. You I can understand quite well now."
"I don't hide things," Quatre reminded Trowa evenly, that smirk was very distracting and he was sure the other knew it.
Trowa shook his head, "Come now, we both know that is a lie." He chided knowingly, the self-righteous he was familiar with, they were rather amusing.
"Trowa?! It's not, I haven't lied to you." Quatre protested, silencing when Trowa placed a hand to his cheek eyes closing at the gentle touch longingly.
"Yes you did, just now. You say you do not hide things, yet you admitted to never telling Trowa how you feel about him. So now it's eating at you, the quilt and pain of knowing you may never be able to tell him. I just do not understand your world," Trowa admitted softly.
"Why not Trowa?" Quatre asked, shivering when he felt soft fingertips trail down his cheek, Trowa's other hand moved down his chest. 'Please stop? Allah make him stop I can't take it anymore.'
"Because here we take what we want if we are strong enough," Trowa answered, hand slipping from pale flesh to grab black cloth as he leaned down kissing the pale blond.
Quatre opened his eyes in shock before closing them, arms wrapping around Trowa's neck holding his mouth to his own as he kissed him back hungrily. He moaned softly when Trowa half slipped his vest off biting down on his neck. 'No this isn't right! He's not my Trowa! I don't love this man!' "Trowahhh.. please stop?" Quatre half pleaded half moaned in protest, hoping he would be listened to.
Trowa lifted his head staring at the shorter teen, "Why? Isn't this what you wanted?" He asked confused, were all people like him so confusing.
"Yes…no, I want this with my Trowa not you. I'm sorry if I mislead you, truly, but I can't do this." Quatre tried to pull away but Trowa did not release his upper arms, "Trowa please let me go?" He asked hoping Trowa was still holding him because he had simply forgotten to let him go, his Trowa did that sometimes when he was deep in thought.
"Why should I?" Trowa asked evenly, watching Quatre squirm when he was not released.
"Trowa please don't?" Quatre pleaded not wanting to have to fight him, he knew now it had not been an innocent or absent gesture. "Just let me go, you don't have to do this," He started into cold green eyes for the first time in fear. He had never been afraid of Trowa only for him, the feeling was alien and only added to his fear.
"Did you not hear what I said? Here we take what we want. You are not strong enough to stop me," Trowa reminded him before trailing his tongue up Quatre's throat, sneering when the blond clung to him despite his protests. "That is even if you even really do want to stop me." He had such power over this blond it was amusing, he had never felt such a thing and he rather enjoyed it.
Quatre smacked him, one short nail leaving a thin crimson trail behind it. "You will never be able to understand my Trowa, he is incapable of such things," Quatre promised him glaring. Trowa could be cold and merciless but he was not controlling and cruel, in fact he was usually submissive to those he liked only ordering them in battle, or if he knew they were wrong.
Trowa glanced down at the scratch not impressed or concerned, "Incapable or unwilling? If he does love you then no, he could never hurt you, but see I don't love you that way." He knew that was true, he loved his sister but anyone else was unimportant to him, making them rather expendable.
"You really are a monster aren't you?" Quatre demanded, slowly backing away from him, knowing full well Trowa was faster and stronger then he was. He was no match for him in anything other then musical talent, but he would fight him. His Trowa had taught him to rely on his own strength even when he was not alone, and he would not forget those lessons now.
"If I am then so is he. Oh maybe it's suppressed, buried deep down, but it's still there. As long as he manages to exist Nanashi will exist as well, and Nanashi does whatever he wants with no remorse or feeling at all." Trowa reminded Quatre striking him to the bed, the blond just lay there on his side for a moment before glaring up at him definitely, hand on his cheek. He sneered pleased, he expected no less form a Gundam pilot then defiance to the end, he was the enemy after all. 'He may love my counterpart, but he is capable of hurting his counter part how interesting.'
"No!" Quatre protested shaking his head, ignoring his split lip, "No my Trowa is not you! No part of him is you! I won't believe it!" He cried, he knew his partner he was not like this. He had been taught to do as he was told not take what he wanted, in fact he had been taught what he wanted was meaningless. These lessons had been taught so well Quatre was still trying to unteach them.
"Screaming won't change it. Everyone has a dark side even you, we don't all need a machine to unleash it." Trowa jeered at the sobbing blond, he had such blind faith it was entertaining watching him suffer when it was tested.
"Trowa help me?" Quatre pleaded softly closing his eyes, he wished he had never touched that damned light.
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"Heero go to sleep I'll watch him now," Duo ordered softly as he walked up to his partner. Heero looked up at Duo and shook his head, hands still folded in front of still lips. "Heero it's OK, I got some sleep already," Duo assured him trying to get him to just go.
"I'm fine Duo. How is Trowa?" Heero asked softly, curious about his other friend as well. He was not planning on leaving anytime soon, no matter how much his amethyst-eyed harbinger of death pleaded with him.
"Asleep still but OK, he only had that one little scratch anyway, most was kamikaze bullshit like you, which is why you should be in bed too." Duo answered before chiding his lover. Heero and Trowa were both still way too willing to sacrifice themselves for Duo's taste, and he reminded them of this constantly.
Heero lowered his arms to his knees with a sigh, "I know Duo it's just…he looks so sad." He admitted closing his eyes, Duo glanced at his sleeping friend before biting his lip. In all honesty Quatre should not even be lying in his bed, the only reason he was there was because both Heero and Trowa had been hurt when some new gun fried their suits. The overload of two bounded friends being hurt must have overloaded his mind and he just passed out. Duo frowned hoping the prototype and all it's plans really had been destroyed so this would not happen again. Heero being the strongest of the three, and having had only taken half a shot thanks to Trowa, had recovered already, where as the other two remained dead to the world. Though Trowa had looked peaceful to Duo, who had checked on him before coming to check on Quatre. He was not sure if Quatre would stay that way until Trowa woke up too, but he hoped not. Judging from the screams that blast had really hurt them, and Trowa would not wake up for quite a while. Wufei had headed off to speak with Sally and Howard about the weapon the Preventors had not even known about soon after the mission had ended so it was just the four of them.
"Hee-kun I understand, but if you won't go to sleep then I'll just stay here with you." Duo informed him sitting down in his lap, arms around his neck, cheek on his shoulder. "What do you think is making him look like that?" He asked not really wanting to think about it, but hoping maybe hearing familiar voices would bring the blond around faster.
Heero wrapped his arms around Duo, instinctively pulling him closer, "I wish I knew. He would probably relax if Trowa was here." He admitted knowing the calming effects of his friend well, the calm pilot could calm anyone down with relative ease, it was a trick Heero envied.
"Yeah, well, if I could have woken him up he would be," Duo half muttered in frustration. "Heero I'm really worried this time," He admitted lifting his head. "What if this happens again? If that weapon had been a lethal one…oh God…"
"Shh…I know it would have been like the Vayeate all over again, but it wasn't. They'll be fine Duo, Quatre is stronger then he looks," Heero comforted stroking Duo's long braid. "You don't have to cry koi, but if you must I will hold you close until you stop." A soft voice promised, he knew how Duo felt but his years of control allowed him to hold most of it at bay.
Duo buried his face in his lover's chest, black clad frame trembling. Too many times had he seen his loved ones suffer for the sake of peace. He had always gotten through it with the knowledge it was all worth it, that they were all OK, but now that was no longer enough. He had confessed his love to Heero, and after a day of being avoided Heero confessed his own, but still he tired to protect the others even if it would cost him his own life. Trowa had found what he had been searching for all his life and then some, but still he piloted as if his life was meaningless. Duo just could not understand that, Heero had a very good reason to come back alive and so did Trowa. He knew Quatre loved him, but why could he not see it and learn that life is worth staying alive for? "Heero..," Duo whispered trailing off, there was so much he wanted to say but he could not find the words.
"Shh…it will be all right, it always is," Heero soothed gently, hating to see Duo so upset after a victory. They all were alive, however, it still it had been a nasty fight, and it would be days before they were all fully recovered, let alone had their suits repaired.
Duo looked up, "Promise me you will try to stop being so kamikaze all the time? I know you can't just stop, but try to please? I can't lose you too!" He clung to Heero's powerful from, "Please Heero?" Duo pleaded not wanting to lose his lover, Heero may be a New Type but he could be hurt, a fact he knew well.
Heero held him close, "I will try koi, for you I will try. I swear to Kami I will try." Duo sniffed lifting his head again staring into teary sapphires. "Aishiteru Duo-kun," Heero whispered softly.
"Aishiteru Hee-kun," Duo whispered back, before kissing him gently once only to kiss him again harder.
"Trowa!" Quatre screamed sitting up suddenly, clenching the covers to him. He turned when he heard a crash and blinked at Duo, who was sitting on the floor at Heero's feet. "Duo?!" The blond asked, both surprised and concerned to find his friend on the floor of all places. 'I must have startled him.'
"The one and only Little Buddy," Duo answered standing and sitting down beside him. "You OK, you're all sweaty?" He asked concerned, gently brushing golden bangs out of his eyes.
"It was just a dream?" Quatre whispered before glancing at Heero, who was sitting about three feet away, soft moonlight illuminating the trails of a few shed tears.
"Yeah, and I was there, and he was there, way over done," Duo teased, relieved his fragile looking friend was all right. "You sure you're OK?" He tilted his head at him before looking at Heero who shrugged. "Cat?" Duo asked concerned by his friend's silence, he looked a little out of it.
"Sorry I…where's Trowa?" Quatre asked looking around, confused by his absence, "Did he?"
"Die? No, he's in his room." Duo answered frowning, what a thought to wake up to.
"Why? Is he hurt? Tell me?" Quatre pleading grabbing Duo's lose tee, if Trowa was all right then why was he not there?
"Breath will you? He's sleeping, that blast really hurt him…don't you remember?" Duo asked hands on Quatre wrists, dreams could mess one up a little sometimes.
"Remember?…I remember screams and pain. What happened to us?" Quatre asked looking up, not sure if he really wanted to know just then.
"Heero you mind taking this one?" Duo asked, not entirely sure how it had all worked.
Heero nodded walking over to his friends, "The blast hit us harder, but the pain we felt you felt as well, obviously your system could not handle that much pain so it shut down. You are all right now aren't you?" He asked apprehensive, he could feel a little of what Quatre was.
"My head still hurts a little but yes, I'm all right. Is Trowa?" Quatre asked having calmed down, haze form being unconscious for however long clear.
"Well, he's peaceful but non responsive, you'd probably have better luck." Duo admitted with a shrug, Quatre nodded in agreement. "You need any help?" He asked automatically, finding creative ways to do things was something he was good at.
"I'll be all right Duo but, thank you." Quatre answered hugging his friend tightly, it felt good just to feel him again.
Duo smiled hugging him back, "Don't ever scare me like that again. New Types oi," He teased letting the blond go, he had been a little worried there for a moment.
"I'll try," Quatre assured him before hugging Heero too, it was good to feel the real Heero again.
"Go to him he needs you," Heero whispered in his ear, "I know he does, even if he does not."
"Thank you Heero," Quatre whispered back before releasing him and standing. "You two go get some sleep all right? I'll be with Trowa so don't worry about me," He smiled before walking out.
"What did you say to him Hee-kun?" Duo asked knowing his partner well, he could be surprisingly sentimental when he chose.
"You are not the only one who wants those two to finally get together you know," Heero informed him holding out his hand. Duo took it, smiling when Heero pulled him close, "I told him he was needed."
"So you're admitting Trowa likes him?" Duo asked almost surprised, he loved the guy but he could be rather stubborn sometimes.
"If he truly does think as much like me as you all assume he does then yes, more then he even realizes," Heero answered before kissing Duo gently. "Come, we should do as Quatre said."
"I'm not that tried yet Hee-kun," Duo teased tugging gently on Heero's dark bangs. He had been exhausted but relief gave him back some of his energy.
"You will be koi, you will be," Heero promised Duo smiling, kissing him once more before pulling him from the room.
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Quatre stopped, hand on the doorknob, thoughts back on his dream. 'Why did I see such things? Was it part of brain trying to warn me against telling him? Dear Allah please let it be only a meaningless nightmare? The very idea of living in secret fear of Trowa is just too much for me to bare.' He opened the door and slipped inside the dark room, at once feeling comforted and on edge at the same time. 'It was only a dream…only a dream.' Quatre reminded himself walking up to the bed slowly. Trowa was laying on his side, back to him, right hand resting near his bang hidden face, left fingers curled on his right wrist. 'He does look peaceful, I wonder what he is dreaming of if anything? Oh Trowa I really do need to talk to you, but I'm so afraid to say a word.'
Quatre sat down, watching him with a fond yet sad smile on his pale face, "Why did you do it? Why do you always do it? Why can't you, for once, let someone protect you?" He asked out loud with out even realizing it. "If I lost…if we lost you again it would be so hard to move on, don't you realize that? I'm so much easier to replace, I know that, but you…we all need you…I need you," Quatre whispered looking at Trowa again. "If I said your name would you even hear me? Oh Trowa I need you now so much it's killing me inside." He blinked when Trowa rolled onto his back with a soft moan. "Trowa?"
"hmm?" Trowa murmured softly head, turning towards him.
"Are you awake?" Quatre asked leaning closer. Trowa sighed softly, lips parting but said nothing. "I need you to wake up. Please Trowa?" Quatre pleaded softly, stroking Trowa's cheek. He leaned forward when he still got no response, staring into closed eyes, hand on his shoulder. "Trowa?" Quatre whispered before leaning down and kissing him softly, eyes closing. 'Please, just open your eyes even for a moment?' He pleaded mentally, lifting his lips, eyes opening. Soft teal blinked at dark green when they met with a blink.
"Cat?" Trowa asked eyes half open, he was not sure if his mind was still asleep or not, but he thought he had heard his partner calling.
"Oh Trowa!" Quatre cried hugging his neck, it felt good to hear his nickname again. "Your all right!" 'Thank you Allah, thank you!'
"Not if you don't easy up," Trowa teased gently, coughing when Quatre released him, the blond was not as weak as he looked. "It's nice to see you too. Ow," He muttered softly rubbing his neck, excited people could be painful to be around sometimes.
Quatre frowned, even though he knew Trowa was not angry at him he had still hurt him, "Sorry I…"
"Were just worried sick I know, I'm a jerk, don't do it again, moving on," Trowa smiled at Quatre so the blond knew he was only joking. "I'm guessing the other's are all right?" He asked since Quatre had only seemed to be worried over him.
"Yes, everyone is resting now, thank Allah. How do you feel?" Quatre asked not daring to try and read him. He just watched him, knowing his subtle hints by heart he often did not need powers anymore.
"Drained but all right. You look like Hell though," Trowa teased affectionately, reaching up and trailing his right-handed knuckles down a damp pale cheek. "Bad dreams Little One?" He questioned, voice soft and affectionate as was always the case when he called the blond that.
Quatre closed his eyes, taking Trowa's hand in his he did not know where Trowa had picked the name up, or when he had first spoken the endearment but he loved hearing it. "Terrible ones, but they aren't important right now. All that matters is that everyone is safe." He rubbed his cheek against Trowa's hand. 'This is right...this warmth is what that monster's touch lacked.'
"Cat as good as that feels what is it?" Trowa asked knowing that frown well, Quatre's angelic face always betrayed what he felt. He had never had a reason to learn how to hide behind a mask as second nature.
Quatre blinked, confused by the use of his nickname and what had just been said. He blushed slightly, looking down Trowa often caught him doing such things but never minded. "It doesn't matter." 'I have you back now, nothing else matters to me.'
Trowa sighed sitting up, left arm resting on raised knees, "Quatre I'm not fully awake not incoherent. I know that frown something is bothering you, so just tell me so I can fix it?"
Quatre blinked at taller brunet, knowing there was no way he could talk his way out of it now. Trowa knew something was bothering him and he would not let him drop it. That stubbornness had to be in his blood, it frustrated him to no end sometimes, but he still loved Trowa for it. "We need to talk," Quatre admitted, blinking when he noticed the navy shirt Trowa had been wearing on the floor.
"Yeah, I figure that. About what exactly? You aren't going to lecture me are you?" Trowa asked frowning, not even realizing how young he sounded asking that..
"No, Trowa not right now, in the morning maybe." Quatre glanced at Trowa, who was just sitting there staring intently at him, cheek on his left fist, dark eyes sparkling slightly in the moonlight. "For a long time I've kept something form you, and that was not fair. It's nothing bad, or anything like that, it's just something I've been fighting with myself over." Trowa nodded but said nothing, squeezing Quatre's hand gently. "Please don't interrupt…right not Duo." Trowa chuckled softly at that getting a smile form Quatre. "I have always been fond of you and the others, I'm an Empath so I guess I bounded very quickly with all of you, but still I did." Quatre sighed softly, "You have always been there, helping me through whatever comes at me, and I want to thank for it."
"You don't have to I know," Trowa assured his friend with a smile, he needed no thanks but that never stopped people from giving it.
"Over time we all realized how close we have gotten in our own ways, but some closer than others. I always knew how Duo felt but Heero is harder to read, as are you. Emotions are easy but thoughts…It got me thinking about how I feel, and maybe that is why I saw what I did to wake me up. Trowa, Nanashi, whatever you call yourself I love you. I love you more then anything else in this world, I guess I always have. Please Trowa don't make me leave you?" Quatre pleaded, kissing his knuckles softly before looking up into startled emerald.
Trowa blinked before turning his head away in thought, "I…"
"I know this must be hard for you to accept, or even understand maybe, but I wanted to be with you. What do you want Trowa?" Quatre studied his friend, but all he could sense was confusion.
"What do I want? No ones ever really asked me that before," Trowa admitted softly. "I got what I wanted when I met all of you so I guess I stopped thinking about it." He glance at Quatre through long bangs, his partner looked so sad it hurt. "I am happy Quatre, I really am but…I've never really thought about falling in love, of course neither did Heero."
Quatre nodded, most of his friends had never considered their personal happiness until after they had won, and then with a lot of prompting. "Trowa if you say no I'll understand. If you say you need some time I will give it to you. Just tell me what to do and I will."
Trowa shook his head, taking Quatre's chin in his hand, "No."
Quatre blinked at him confused, not sure what he meant by that one word response. "No what Trowa?" He asked searching his familiar eyes, hoping to find some answers there. 'Are you rejecting me?'
"I don't want you to blindly do whatever I tell you Quatre, you're my partner, my friend, I have no right to tell you what to do. Understand?" Trowa asked gently, he never wanted to make anyone feel they had to do what he said, it was one of the reasons he did not tell people to do much. This was not a mission or a fight, his skill and experience was not superior to Quatre's in the area of feelings.
"Yes Trowa I understand, I just…I want to make you happy," Quatre answered watching him with wide teary eyes. The no had not been a rejection, at least not one that would break his heart.
Trowa smiled fondly, "You already have Quatre. You helped me become who I am now…stop crying will you? I'm not going to make you leave me all right? I want you here," He tilted his head slightly, unsure what emotion was causing his friend to cry.
Quatre blinked, hoping he had heard what he had hoped he had, "You…you want me here?" He repeated getting a nod, typical of Trowa to not speak while he thought out loud. "Why?" Quatre asked, hoping it was more then wishing to comfort him, which was normal for Trowa.
"Some Empath," Trowa teased before gently kissing him, Quatre was adorable confused. "Does that answer you question, or should I rip your shirt off too?"
"Oh Trowa!" Quatre cried hugging him, teasing had never sounded so good to him. "You have been spending too much time with Duo. Thank you."
Trowa laughed holding him close, Duo would love to hear that, "Oh stop it already, I get it I'm thanked, moving on."
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Well this is it…the end. That is unless enough people ask for a three, and an idea hits me, then that will be it. No more ever…well for this fic. Go read the rest of my 3x4x3 fics and review them too k?