Sorry if this one is also short. I had a request to write more and I wanted to anyhow. I just wasn't initially sure how to end this. I have a very odd way of segregating chapters sometimes when certain events happen. Enjoy!
"I know this is going to sound crazy, Captain, but I do not find anything wrong with her physically. I couldn't possibly know what may be wrong with her. Other than the lack of social understanding, she's fine medically." Doctor Crusher said informing Picard of her scans of me.
"Incredible…" Softly replied an astounded Captain.
"I was sure that you could determine her condition, Doctor. Now I'm not sure what can be done." Added an equally puzzled Troi. The Counselor stood quietly with Picard, the Doctor, and Riker; who's had no input so far.
"Are you at least sure whatever this is that it is, in fact, neurological?" Asked Captain Picard.
"Being as there are no physical signs of problems, I can safely assume that it would be so. Counselor?"
"Yes?"
"I can see why Starfleet requested you to look after her. I believe this is more your forte."
"Of course." She courteously nodded to her colleague and friend.
"Aright. Well, Counselor Troi, since you were given the responsibility of looking after her, you will see to it that you find out what it is that prevents her from socializing normally. Use whatever resources you need. If you need me, I'll be on the bridge."
"Yes, Sir."
As the Captain and is Number One left the Sickbay, I was released from the Doctor's care and escorted to my quarters. As the doors slid open, I walked into the humble and highly decorated quest room. My quarters gave me a pleasant and peaceful feeling. It was quite nice.
"Do you like your room, Enola?" Deanna asked me. I chuckled to her question.
"Of course but you already knew that didn't you?" I told her. She simply smiled, reassuring my comfort here on the Enterprise. "I have ordered to keep close to you so if you should need me for any reason, I will be the room just opposite of you. All you have to do is come and find me." I nodded to her statement, a little wary once again but not quite like before.
As she left the room, I explored the room a bit, a familiarity with my new surroundings would give me some comfort. New surroundings like this, especially without the ability to escape to somewhere I truly know, like the Academy, throws me into frenzy of stress and fretfulness. The room was simply designed, as I'm sure all the guest rooms where, but the one thing that let me sigh of relief was the window revealing the stars moving at such a fast rate it could dizzy any one untrained traveler. There were times looking at the passing stars that nausea was present but knowing I was where I wanted to be, among the stars, gave me a serenity unlike any other. I smiled at the thought that all onboard were used to this kind of life but for the lot of us, it was as if we were back in the time space travel was new.
I laid on my bed, letting the quietness of the room fill my ears, slowly dulling my conscious, allowing me to rest. I typically hated sleep, as night terrors would haunt me; seemingly trap me into a void of solitude. Condemning me to never experience what others have been able to do so damn easily. Socializing was near impossible for someone who cannot even figure out how to approach someone new and a conversation. Thoughts like, "What should I say when they first meet me?" and "What if what their conversational interests deter me but what if mine uninterest them also?" act as demons laughing at me as I roast in the make-believe hell that fate has given me. I wanted to cry but I was taught as a Cadet to not always let your emotions overwhelm you. Fighting it was proving more difficult than training exercises.
Almost as if I were awakened from a deep slumber, a chime from the door was carried out. Counselor Troi must've have surely felt my tension that boiled within my mind – good, a chance to speak with her.
"Come in." I called out to the visitor. "I'm glad you came, Mrs. Troi, I-" My skin went as white as the person who stood before me. The Android gazed at me curiously and did not move.
"I do apologize, was I not whom you were looking for?" A lump formed in my throat, I could say nothing. The very thing that afflicted my poor soul walked into my only fortress of security in my time of needing stability in a new environment. "If you want, I can return later when you are more comfortable. However, I would like to ask you a question about-"
"Data, what are you doing here?" I heard Counselor say as she walked in, physically putting herself in between me and Data by standing in front of him.
"I was about inquire of her anxiety from earlier when she was in the Transporter Room." He replied. "Perhaps I can assist."
"While that is very much appreciated, I'm afraid until she has been here at least one full day, only I am allowed to have contact with her. If I should need you here, I'll call for you."
"Of course, Counselor, I understand, excuse me." Before Data made his leave, he fixed his gaze on me again, intending, I assume, a formal departure with but a look. However, in that one instance. It was as if only he and I existed in a non-existent plain of the unknown. No one I knew, nothing to hold onto that I trusted – just this mechanical man and myself. It was the most alluring yet frightening thought I've ever had. The man left the room, and there stood my savior, smiling, as I tried to slow my heartbeat.
"Forgive him, he has a natural curiosity about things, especially humans." I simply nodded, saying nothing, trying to catch my breath with my heart rate. "He makes you feel nervous, doesn't he? But it isn't because he's a machine? There's something more?" I looked at here, losing all pigmentation and color to my face. She chuckled, sitting next to me at the edge of the bed. "Fear not, Enola, while I've never encountered someone having feelings for something so…well, not exactly living like say you or I, but in your case, I believe it to be natural."
"You do?" I asked her.
"Yes. I'm sure somehow, he signifies some sort of consistency. After all, he is a machine, and he operates on consistency. But, you are aware he is a living being and of all people here, that frightens you." I could not argue with anything she had said so far. "I fear that you will not socialize at all because of him. If you trust that I only want what is best for you, I think it best that you confront your fear. Compared to the numerous souls aboard this vessel, Data is one that you needn't fear. He is the ideal first test at socialization. He does not judge nor make fun of anyone. In fact, he may as well be an open book."
I thought about her words a while. As much as I didn't want to do this, she was right. But in my speculation, something that occurred to me was mentally prompted to be said.
"Since he is technically a machine, he hasn't fully integrated into human understanding yet, has he?"
"No. But that has its advantages. He is learning as you are. Perhaps you both could learn from eachother." This thought didn't scare me, fortunately, but the idea of being near him did. "Enola, being in the same room as your crush does not mean instantly that you are to fail at simple conversation. In your…unique…case, this could prepare you for real socialization with actual people."
"I understand." I sighed deeply. "You know I still don't want to do this but…I am willing."
"Good. I am going to call him back in here now. And this time, I will be right here." She said smiling, about to summon him via COM link.
"Wait, what…what do we talk about, Counselor?"
"Well, that is the ultimate question, isn't it? I don't have anything too helpful to provide, being as Data isn't your average conversationalist, but I assure you, if you feel uncomfortable, I will redirect the conversation until you feel more at ease, okay?" I nodded in acknowledgement.
Taking perchance the deepest I possibly could and ever have in my life, I mentally prepared for this untimely event. I simply hoped that my racing heart would neither be heard by the Android's ears nor attempt a break out of its ribcage confinement and onto him…
Data walked into the room for the second time, having his eyes focused on the one who summoned him. Well, at least his eyes didn't penetrate me firsthand, yet…
"You asked for me, Counselor?"
"Yes, I need you to act as a test for Enola's social skills."
"Would you like me to access information on social cues, social hierarchy, social etiquette…?"
"No, Data, just please, sit quietly in front of her and have a conversation." Asked the Counselor to the Android.
"Very well…" Data retorted as he retrieved a chair from the wall to our right and set it in front of the bed and sat down. "…What would you like to discuss, Enola?"
Hearing him call my name made me question if he had some sort of Voice Chip that acted as the equivalent of the human vocal chords and also for my heart to skip a beat. It was an odd feeling, as I've never experienced such feelings before but I knew if I needed to overcome my fears, this was the only way.
"Uh, well…" I nearly paused for too long trying to think.
"It's okay, Enola, just try and relax." Troi told me, rubbing my shoulder.
"Yes, of course…" I took a deep breath. I wasn't prepared to look a crush in the eye nor was I prepared to strengthen myself should I fall.
"Do I make you anxious, Cadet?" Asked the Android.
"Er, no, not…not exactly." My ill-preparation bled out in my voice. I wasn't thinking before I spoke because I didn't want to waste valuable time thinking when I should make a quick response for a quick thinker but all the while blurting out responses and countlessly correcting them makes no differences either…
"Then why was it that when Captain Picard introduced me, it was at that exact moment that your symptoms of anxiety occurred?"
Data clearly noted the error in what I spoke. Just further proof I am ill-prepared for this test.
"The more faces she had to take in mentally, the more unstable she became, I imagine." Counselor, yet again, took an emotional bullet for me.
"Ah, I see. Part of her unknown social condition, correct?"
"Yes."
"Hmm…" The way Data looked at me made me feel slightly uncomfortable but the 'gears' from within were turning at a speed that could make this Starship seem primitive. "Might I be of aid in this mystery?"
"You're not thinking of yourself as Sherlock Holmes again, are you Data?" Said the Counselor.
"No, not exactly. I am simply stating that her condition is liken to a mystery that no one here can solve. I wish to investigate and conceivably, with enough evidence, find out what it is she has." With the finishing his statement, he hooked his gawk upon me a moment, which caused me to sink into my posture.
"I see…" Counselor paused a moment, discerning on her next decision. "Alright. Being as you are also helping her to test her social skills, you may also assess clues that might link to her condition's identity."
It was quiet a moment and I was paralyzed by the presence of Data. It was as if my very breath left my body.
"May I ask what is it exactly that frightens you about socializing with others, Enola?" Data asked.
"That's good, Data. A wonderful question like that ought to provide answers." Deanna said.
"That's…that is difficult for me to answer." I told Data.
"Please, try."
"Okay, um…I suppose the anticipation of rejection from someone might be it."
"Fascinating…the mere fear of someone shunning you prevents you from socializing?" Data asked.
"And making friends."
"Well, you have friends in us, Enola." Counselor told me.
"Agreed." Data added.
"Oh. That's…that's good, I guess. A step in the right direction." I said.
"It is." Data said. Then, moments later, he turned his head as a thought formed in his mind. "Curious. If you have few friends, could you possibly lack demonstrated empathy?" He inquired of me.
"Maybe." I shrugged.
"Do you ever initiate friendships or have they come to you?"
"I've never really been one to walk up and start a conversation so I think that should be obvious."
"That would explain why you might not have as many friends as you'd like. Socialization comes easier when you have friends surrounding you rather than strangers." Counselor said giving her input.
"What have you done within the parameters of your friendships you do possess?" Data asked me.
"I don't really know. It's been so long since I've spoken with any of them. They've all graduated from the Academy. At the last legs of graduating, they cared more about leaving than keeping in contact with me. I think they weren't really my friends."
"That might have been the case."
"Data!" Counselor said in protest to his apparently rude statement.
"I did not mean to insult her, Counselor. Those who are bound by time and duty tend to care less and less about keeping friendships. It is a fact of life I have learned to be truth. A hard truth, but truth nonetheless."
"Deanna, it's alright, I'm used to it." I assured her that I was not emotionally insulted.
"You shouldn't be, Enola. No one should have to feel like they are alone." Counselor Troi obviously read my emotions that Data's statement that, while wasn't inherently insulting towards me, the truth behind what he said hit me – it hit me hard.
"If that's not the case, then explain me." I said bitterly, showing signs that I really wanted to cry.
"You are simply in need of being taught how to socialize, that's all." She said softly, recognizing my angst.
"Why should I have to conform to what everyone else does? Why does it even matter what is right and what is wrong in socializing? Why does everything I say have to come off as odd or stupid? It's like I say something or continue to talk about things and everyone always says it's just inappropriate for that time. If it's inappropriate, then why bother relying on instincts to guide us? I have interests and so does everyone else but it's like I'm an alien to my own species or something…" I said filled to the brim with emotion.
"You have a lot of very good questions, Enola. We all struggle to fit in somehow, not just you." Troi said.
"That's just it, though, no matter how alienated I feel because of it, I just don't want to fit in. I want to be me. The thing I fear most than being alone is losing myself and becoming…well, lifeless."
"All of us fear that; it is a universal feeling. Ask Data, he'll see eye to eye with you on this."
"Undeniably. I am an Android and therefore have no emotions and fail to be human in all aspects. Yet, despite this, I strive to become more human, as I long to more or less fit in, if you will."
"Wow, so…in some ways, we are one in the same." I reveled in the fact that my crush and I had something in common. But also, while hiding it, was met with the fact that my crush would be ultimately one-sided. It almost made me want to run out and hurl myself into space…
"Yes, I suppose. We both long to fit in but focused on remaining as we are, as well." Data explained.
"I…I don't know who I am yet." I admitted.
"I see. This is another piece of proof that we are like, Enola." Data replied, trying to smile like a human. It made me feel warm inside, eliminating the previous thought of death in space.
"This is good, Enola. This is what good socializing looks like." The Counselor said with a happy grin.
"Really?" I said with equal glee in my eyes. Deanna nodded and laughed heartily. I refused to stop smiling. Something that was so natural to everyone else had just happened to me. With my crush no less!
"I do not see any further indications of anxiety, Counselor." Data told Deanna.
"Nor do I. Then that makes confronting the problem was the best place to start."
"The problem, Counselor?"
"Yes," She told him, hiding what the problem really was. "Simply speaking to someone and holding a conversation with anxiety was the issue. And you two hit it off well, I do believe."
"I believe so too." He agreed. "However, I do not have conclusive evidence as of yet as to what condition may cause her lack of social understanding."
"That's alright, Data. I think it might be best if you gather your information through observation – usually, that is the most effective way of making conclusions."
"Yes, Counselor."
"As for you, Enola, you may rest now. I will return to where I mentioned earlier, if you need me. Data, you may leave."
"Of course, Counselor. Goodbye Enola, rest well." Data said as he sat up and returned the chair he used back to its original position.
"Yeah, uh…b-bye." I nervously replied to him as he walked away, trying furiously to think of ways to cool my flushed face.
"See, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" Deanna asked me with a hint of pride for my accomplishment.
I never responded. I simply was too busy in my own mind. And she knew it.
"My, Enola, I never expected such infatuation from someone so inexperienced with socialization."
"Isn't he wonderful?" I finally uttered, completely oblivious to what the Counselor had said. "I mean, how is it possible that someone can be so perfect yet so…unattainable…" I finished saying with the most ridiculous smile on my countenance that was as exposed as my red hue.
"All young lovers feel that way, Enola. You are no different." Troi laughed. "I'll leave you be. I assume that your thoughts will not prevent you from sleeping."
"No, Mrs. Troi, if anything, I think I'll sleep soundly tonight."
I had somewhat of a tough time getting Data's character and dialogue right but I think the more I watch, the more I'll obtain and replicate. I have a lot to write and I hope I bring justice to the franchise – even if I am technically rewriting it into an alternate timeline…
NEXT TIME: Enola has to confront Data after all...