Clarke's vision returned to the sight of the throne room in a haze from the City of Light. Steadily she returned to her feet, and to reality once more. Clarke spoke to Bellamy quietly about the new situation, and she could feel her mother's eyes watching her from across the room, having to swallow down the urge to immediately leave the throne room to have a moment to herself. However Clarke knew that was wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
Octavia killed Pike, and stormed out of the throne room. With what little energy Clarke had left, she jogged and caught up to the brunette prepared to begin her long decent down the stairs.
"Octavia-,"
"Don't, Clarke." Octavia's voice seethed.
"Where will you go?" Clarke purely asked instead. She needed Octavia, but Clarke couldn't ask. What right did the blonde have when she knew exactly why Octavia had to leave, she had done so herself which now almost feels like another lifetime ago.
Octavia only glared at her, she could only shrug with the rage and adrenaline still pumping through her. She could still smell his sullied blood that stained her sword.
Clarke only nodded, exchanging her genuine care towards Octavia through their stare, "Stej yuj. May we meet again," Clarke could see the brunette's eyes harden further, quickly coming to understand that she likely despised the traditional sky saying, "We will see eachother again," Her tone promising and final with care.
Octavia hesitated for only a moment, "Bye, Clarke." before she stormed down and out of Polis.
Everyone had begun to start his or her tasks of cleaning up the tower, and helping those recover. Clarke was exhausted beyond belief, both physically and mentally, only returning to the throne room briefly before retiring, though no one was sure exactly where for the next 4 days that followed.
Clarke knew she had slipped into some sort of autopilot from that night onward. Allowing herself to mourn, Clarke had slipped away and travelled on Lexa's horse Varos. Clarke only gave herself 4 days however before returning to the capital, knowing there was much to be done and there was a meeting to be held the next day.
Clarke moved from one task to the next in a hazed state for the months that followed, though she had continued to remain in Polis. There was much to be done, to be rebuilt and be repaired. Indra had taken steps to provide structure and assistance towards this. Indra had also sent for the clans in organization for a treaty to be reached.
However, without a Heda in power this had the clans inconclusive in the peace treaty. The ambassadors including some of the leaders themselves convened in Polis for 2 weeks, only a week after Clarke's return from the City of Light, to establish the continuing of trades and the wellbeing of their clans. Clarke had struggled immensely in those weeks, she had only just returned to Polis in time before everyone was to arrive. Despite her denial and pushing her emotions down, Clarke was still in grieving; she had of course pushed on and stood her ground.
Wanheda stated and emblazoned her mark in those meetings that they were the 13th Clan. She had demanded the rooms attention and for their respect, and in return let this be a turning point for their own misguided wrongs, and strive for peace between them.
The other Clans had agreed but also stated that Skai Krew were still but children amongst them on the ground, and have much to learn. Clarke's eyebrow ticked up at the bold ambassadors words; standing from her seat she demanded the room once again. Sweeping the room with her eyes, Clarke implored for them to remember their Heda's words for unity and peace, that there was more to just surviving. She wasn't sure how her legs remained steady, allowing her to stand whilst pain spread from her chest and throughout at the memories trying to assault her mind.
The room had been piercingly silent, listening completely to the Commander of Death speak with utter genuine talks of peace. Clarke only remembers gesturing to Marcus to continue what they had discussed, before taking her seat once more. Her blue eyes shifted to the right slightly, seeing the large empty throne sat above the steps in her peripheral, her mind fading quickly and giving into the earlier assault.
Marcus had stepped in to offer their idea of a merging. Grounders needing to set up shelter on the further outskirts where the Ark resided were more then welcome to live with them. Only some of the select sky crew would integrate into Polis or TonDC allowing them to set up trade and learn further for living on the ground.
This discussion for implementation of this took 4 whole days before it was finally unanimously agreed. Though strict guidelines were set for the sky crew whilst in Polis, which Clarke agreed to. Following her agreement came with her renouncement of her seat as ambassador. Instead she had a mission to carry out, informing them of the threat learned in the City. Clarke stated she would need to travel and search for these stations. Some of the clans offered their assistance to aid her of which she was incredibly grateful for. King Roan had also promised Azgeda's fealty, though there are some of which he is yet to deal with who have rebelled in his lands. Regardless, Roan swore to deal with this himself and to assist in searching for the stations.
That was the last meeting Clarke had attended in Polis. She had left early the following morning after there had been a final feast held to farewell the ambassadors and leaders on their safe travels back home. Clarke had made it halfway through her meal before excusing herself during the feast, and slipping away.
Instead Clarke walked the familiar halls and bedrooms of the Polis tower. She couldn't sleep, and knew she wouldn't be able to anytime soon. Her thoughts always at a constant tornado of unrest.
Clarke opened the final large double set doors at the end of the hallway. Her blue sullen eyes glancing around the familiar yet different bedroom. It had been cleaned, scrubbed and most of the damaged furniture already replaced. No blood marked the furs. Slowly she closed the doors behind her and turned to look at the room once more.
Clarke's eyes immediately began to blur, tears streaking down her cheeks, she didn't fight it. Instead she stumbled towards the intricately designed cut window on the other side of the room, but there was no sunlight streaming through this time, no brunette to stop her right in her tracks and greet her…
Again she stumbled and caught the sob in her throat, swallowing it down harshly to see that the sheets on the bed had been changed also.
Ontari's presence had been swept and wiped away from this room, good… but so had Lexa's.
There was no lingering smell, no personal belongings of Lexa's remaining. Clarke fell onto the large bed, curling inwards on herself as she clutched the sheets, pulling them in towards her. Again she barely consumed a sob from escaping. Clarke closed her eyes, more tears spilling out as she tried to slip away from reality, from the truth. Recreating from her memories the image of Lexa wrapped in silk sheets around her in front of Clarke, below her, under her.
Clarke sucked in a sharp breath, her hand had unconsciously moved up, deliriously hoping to find contact with soft skin. However the space remained empty as it soon found the pillow instead. Empty.
Her eyes opened confirming this, and she wiped at her eyes angrily from the tears as she shuffled closer to the other pillow, a raw sob breaking free from her throat. Clarke's eyes closed, her cheek nuzzled into the pillow, breathing in, again hoping… but nothing. Clarke's tired eyes opened once more, landing on the few objects lined up on the dresser. A laugh, mixed sob, broke from her mouth. Clarke moved forward, swinging her legs sharply over the bed she went over to a drawer that she had seen Lexa walk over to. Opening the drawer she found the flint and small knife there, quickly she lit the lantern in front of her.
Picking the lantern up, Clarke walked over to the different standing sizes of candles, lighting them, before finally blowing the lantern out. Bringing the candles closer, Clarke returned to the large bed. Staring into the flickering flames, exhaustion finally claimed Clarke into sleep.
Abby waited for her daughter beside the rover the next morning. Only catching her briefly receiving a rather tired bye as the blonde continued on to the rover. Abby caught Clarke in a hug, wishing as any mother would, to wash away all the cruel pain her daughter has had to endure. Her own mistakes and decisions being apart of that pain made her own heart weigh incredibly heavy. Clarke briefly returned the hug, before stepping away to join the others in the rover. Abby implored her to be safe, and to come to the Ark once she's ready to talk if she wasn't here once returned to Polis.
Clarke only nodded and wished her safe on her travels also, and may they meet again. Turning to Bellamy on the outside she promised they would keep an eye out to try and find Octavia along the way. He nodded in thanks and wished them safe travels.
Over the following 6 months that passed, Marcus had stepped in as the ambassador and was residing in Polis, leading their trade negotiations amongst other things. Abby had also remained in the capital for a short time helping with their medical area before returning to the Ark to help Jackson. The clans were still shaky in their alliances, some of those in the coalition beginning to step forward with nightbloods.
Without a Heda to train them, Indra and her second had stepped in to assist the new flame keeper in his teachings. He was rather young, Ryland was only 26, but Titus had been his uncle, who had been steadily mentoring him since birth. Inrda praised him nonetheless, he was patient with the children and allowed them to be such during there free time. Most of which the young ones preferred to go hunting or horse riding with Octavia. Indra had found her not long after, offering for her to return once those of skai krew simmered out and were well away from the capital.
Indra had found Octavia, but she was different. Beyond hardened and void of emotion now. It concerned Indra, for Octavia's health and that perhaps she would not be the most suited to assist her with training children. Again the skai girl surprised her in returning to the capital, and providing help with their natblida training.
Indra watched as Octavia's hardened expression and stiff distant demeanor from the children began to waver. This was a very slow process, but one that saw Octavia show a very small tug of a smile form on her lips as Jonu, the youngest of the group, was finally able to mount his colt and galloped around the secured pit screaming shortly in excitement and triumph.
So it had been made official, announcing that there would be a conclave held within the next 2 years. The conclave could be sooner if tension rose too high between the clans, they rumbled with want for their traditional Heda to be chosen and to lead.
Clarke had been returning from the furthest part of the Ouskejon Kru, their vast mountain landscapes beautiful as she rode her horse back into the village. Yilla greeted the blonde before handing her the letter that had been written by Raven, surmising that they had announced the conclaves timeframe. Clarke couldn't help but grimace to think of someone else being Heda, again it pained her heart.
Reading on, it was requested for Clarke to return to Polis with the flame. Moreover that Octavia had returned to Polis, and didn't appear to be leaving any time soon. Though she has refused to see Bellamy, and has only spoken to Raven in a few fleeting moments. Clarke having been informed all of this months ago through her letters with Raven.
Quickly the blonde made her way into the village, tying Varos off onto a pole outside the large tent.
"We're leaving." Clarke simply announced, hastily moving from one side of the tent to the next as she gathered her things. Shoving them into her large knapsack bag the others followed suit.
Clarke had contacted Wick not long after her departure from Polis, having heard of his last position, settling in a small town in a Broadleaf Clan. He had left, like she did, and that was it. Clarke hadn't questioned him on that.
Instead she stopped through the village and asked if he would help. Wick agreed, under the condition that another sky crew member, Mel, could join. Clarke learned she is the sole survivor from the farming station, no longer wanting to be apart of Arkadia she had left also.
Clarke only nodded, verbally confirming with only a short, "Fine." Before they were quickly on their way. Wick always tried to engage Clarke in conversation here and there along the way, but she was hard to engage with. Rather cold and calculated, though she had helped Mel with learning some basic techniques with a knife to protect herself, cooking tricks and also some first aid advice. However Clarke mostly kept to herself, and moved towards completing her tasks, that's it. A completely different Clarke to the one he once knew, her gear was more grounder based too, even marking black war paint around her eyes at times.
Wick had asked one night what Clarke had seen in the City of Light. Mel carefully watched across the fire as Clarke's eyes remained scanning the area. They thought she was going to ignore them, but then the blonde told them briefly of the fake AI city. Clarke soon excused herself that night to go higher up to scout the area and left, not returning until sundown the next day. Wick didn't question her when the blonde strode back into the small camp carrying more then enough food to keep them fed for days as they traveled to find the stations.
Clarke swung the backpack over her shoulder, and made her way out of the tent towards Varos. Feeding him half of her apple she smoothed her hand over his cheek and jaw, before subtly feeling behind her shoulder guard for the tin. Pulling it out, she slid the lid downward and stared on at the flame. Like she has done a million times before. It's all she has left. All I have left of her…
Hearing the tent flap open behind her, Clarke secured the flame in the tin and back into its place, hidden safely near her heart. Quickly she swung up and mounted Varos, steering him forward, they began their journey back to Polis.
Clarke's thoughts drifted to the jounrey in front of her, knowing that they would come close to Arkadia, the option of stopping to check in on everything crossed her mind. Though the prospect of that made Clarke flinch, and slightly grimace.
Yeah… maybe…
Clarke exhaled, realizing it would be nearly 8 months since having stepped foot in Polis, she squeezed the reigns that much tighter.