A/N Right so I forgot to do this last one-shot but obviously this is non-con. Meg is travelling with the boys for her own protection, Castiel is fighting Raphael in Haven and the Winchesters have been ordered by god, (who for the purposes of these stories is Chuck) to look after his human sons namely Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel and teach them humility, compassion and how to be brothers yadda yadda yadda. I hope that now these shots might make more sense.
Cherri-o
WOH
"Michael just…eat," Sam sighed in exasperation when the ex-angel picked up the plate for the second time to give the hamburger another wary sniff.
"I will not, 'just eat' Sam, when I don't know what 'it' is."
"Meat, onions, tomatoes, salad. You know all the goodies," the elder Winchester supplied, drizzling across the table as he struggled to talk around a mouthful of bacon.
"Seriously brother; your tedious whining is getting on my nerves," Lucifer frowned, popping another fry into his mouth.
"Lucifer if you don't shut up, so help me father, I will…"
"Don't you agree Sam?" Lucifer turned his head forward and smiled leisurely at his would be vessel. "Michael is such a Drag Queen."
Dean chocked on his soda, spraying the table and most of Michael's plate.
"Wh…what was that?" he chocked out through his coughing.
"I said Michael is a Drag Queen, like the personified epitome of boredom."
"Eh Lucifer," more than a week later and Sam still found himself at loss how best to address the devil. "Drag Queen has a different meaning here…on earth," he added somewhat lamely when Lucifer still regarded him with a blank stare.
"Like what…"
Sam shot Dean a pleading look.
"You're on your own here Sammy," Dean raised both hands above his head and got up. "I'm gonna head over to Wall-Mart's, see if Gabriel and Meg need a hand with the shopping. Need anything?"
"Dean," the younger Winchester begged.
"I'll take that as a no. See ya outside in 20 minutes." Dean paused by the door to throw over his shoulder. "Make sure Drag Queen gets a meal in him before we set of."
"Damn it."
Lucifer gave a noisy slurp of his strawberry milkshake.
"Sooo…definition please."
Running a hand through his hair, Sam quickly flagged down a waitress to buy more time.
"Another hamburger please," he spoke quickly, desperately trying to will her to stick around. She shot him a marginally irate look. The waitress of course had her own problems. 'Bet', Sam couldn't help thinking, 'none of witch involve educating ancient celestials on the basics of urban slang'.
"Saammmyy, we're waaiiiitiiing…"
Even Michael was doing that curious head tilting thing angels did, while occasionally shooting his brother suspicious glances.
"Tell me Sam what blasphemy has my brother spoken against me."
"OohKayy well ah when people refer to someone as a drag queen what they really mean is a…oh look foods here!" Almost hyperventilating with relief, Sam grabbed at the opportunity when the waitress replaced Michael's plate, to start not so subtly flirting with her.
"Sooo…Rachel," he gave her a once over Dean would be proud of, "must be nice working in a dinner. Get to meet new people…"
She shot him an unimpressed look and walked away. Fuck. One time he needed Dean.
"I grow tiered of this Sam…tell me noooowww!" the devil demanded petulantly and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. Jerking his legs under the table like a child having a tantrum, he landed a hard kick on the other man's shin. Sam swore.
"Ok you know what fine! A drag queen is a transvestite. A man who likes to wear woman's clothe. Happy?!" He aimed his best bitch face at the devil, simultaneous rubbing his sore knee.
Michael colored in anger.
"Lucifer did you just refer to me as a homosexual?" he hissed quietly, seething in anger.
"Not intentionally, obviously I didn't know the modern definition anymore than you did until just now."
Lucifer's logic must have made sense to Michael because he calmed enough to start on his burger. Pulling it apart and lining up the filling on his plate. The weak, human body demanding sustenance above all else, even just retribution. Sam looked curiously between the two brothers.
"So why did you call him a queen instead of king?"
Lu scoffed and smirked around his milkshake straw.
"Well because he's a bitch, duh."
Castiel popped into existence just as Michael was finishing his last slice of tomato, leaving only the patty untouched; all the while glaring at Lucifer like he was elephant droppings. Interesting. Sam thought that he and Michael might just get along after all.
"Hello Sam." Cast dropped his head back against the plush seating. "Hello brothers."
"Hello Castiel. We were just discussing the definition of the term Drag Queen."
"Ah," Cas smiled in understanding, "like the personified epitome of boredom."
Sam groaned and quickly dashed for the register to pay the bill.