I wake up in the morning and take a deep breath.
Today is the day that the rest of my life will be decided.
I'm not nervous like I know I should be.
No.
I'm confident.
After I shower and get dressed I head downstairs to get a bite to eat.
The kitchen is unusually quite.
My mother and father and both sitting at the table.
I look at them.
My father is starring at one stop on the table intensely, his muscles are tensed and his usually neat blonde hair is in disarray.
Next I look at my mother, her eyes are rimmed in red and she seems to be spaced out. She didn't even look up at the sound of entrance.
"Morning." I call out.
My father nods and my mother still doesn't respond. As I walk past her I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head, hoping to get some sort of response.
She seems to come to her senses a little bit.
She still doesn't say anything but she raises her hand up to touch my arm and extends her other hand to take my fathers.
I savor this small moment.
I will need the strength from my family to help me get through all of this.
Although I am confident about winning, I have a hard journey ahead of me.
These Games won't be easy, that much I do know.
Who knows what horrors they have in store for the children of the rebel.
Breakfast is a quiet affair.
No body really talks, although I wish they would.
I need something to take my mind off the upcoming events.
I look for things to talk about, but everything is just too painful.
We can't talk about the current events, or even past.
It's all to damn painful.
We can only sit there in silence and pray that the next few weeks will go over smoothly.
After we finish eating I leave the house and head towards the woods.
I want to say goodbye to my favorite places before I have to leave.
There aren't very many people out, the majority or the few I see are Peacekeepers.
I slip past them unnoticed.
One of the many modifications that the Capitol made was the reinstatement of the Peacekeepers. I'm told that they're even worse than the ones from before.
I make it to the fence and look around.
Mom told me that before she went into the Games the fence wasn't electrified all the time.
The one we have now is though.
I still get under the same that mom does.
I just have to do it a little bit differently.
Someone dug a tunnel under the fence that I use.
I don't know who it was, but I thank them silently as I move the rock and shimmy into the hole.
It's dark, as usual, but I've traveled this tunnel so many times I could do it backwards, in my sleep, with my eyes closed.
I pause for a moment to move the rock back into place and start crawling.
It takes a few minuets to reach the end, but only because I'm moving slowly.
I want to remember the excitement of crawling through a dark hole.
The tunnel actually take you into the woods so I don't bother being careful as I get out. I never run into anyone else in the woods.
I don't retrieve moms old bow.
I'm not hunting today.
I just want to visit all the places I love one last time.
I'm careful as I walk, making sure I notice every detail around me and commit it to memory.
I walk around aimlessly for an hour until I decide on an actual destination and make my way there.
I want to go to the lake.
I wasn't very far from it so it doesn't take me to long to get there.
It comes into view and yet again its simplistic beauty takes me aback.
My mother has been taking me here as long as I can remember.
In fact, some of my earliest memories take place here.
I sit on a rock and think about them.
My mother teaching me how to swim.
Watching my mother stare at my father with a loving look in her eyes.
Eating cheese buns while watching the sunset.
Thousands of memories are flooding back and I'm having a hard time comprehending all of them.
I sit there for hours. Just thinking and remembering happier, simpler times.
My watch beeps, a reminder that it's about time to head back.
I'm not paying as much attention walking back. I know that if I do I will never be able to leave.
I crawl into the tunnel and move quickly.
Once I reach the opening on the other side I press my ear to the rock to see if I hear any activity on the other side.
I hear nothing so then I move the rock up a fraction of an inch and check for feet.
I see nothing so I push the rock up fully and climb out.
I walk quickly back to my house I go upstairs to get redressed.
I walk downstairs to see my parents waiting.
Everyone has to be there, but the Capitol is making my parents mentor.
"You ready to go?" My father asks in a gruff voice.
I nod my head.
It pains me to know that my parents are in pain.
The walk is a quiet one; the only sound is the sound of our footsteps and the occasional sniffle from my mother.
I know that I'm going to make the Capitol pay for hurting my parents.
For hurting all these people.
After we get to the square and I'm checked in, my parents and I must part. My father hugs me and says, "I love you son." And ruffles my hair, an attempt to lighten the mood slightly. I was in check with my emotions until my mother hugs me, then I almost lose it.
When she breaks away she doesn't say anything, but she doesn't have to. The look in her eyes says it all.
It says. I love you.
I take a deep breath and walk towards the designated area and wait.
I watch as my parents mount the stage and take a seat.
I start laughing quietly when I see the look of utter disgust that my mother is giving our Capitol escort.
She looks ridiculous.
Her hair is such a vibrant shade of green that it hurts to look at.
Her dress looks to be made of millions of tiny bubbles.
My fathers' eyes find me and he gives me a smile, I return it.
He looks like he's about to mouth something to me, but the clock strikes 2 and the reaping begins.
Mayor Umbridge steps up and starts talking.
I ignore him.
I don't want to hear his garbage about how wonderful the Capitol is.
After the mayor steps down, our escort steps up.
"Hello everyone!" She calls, "It's been a very exciting day, but the excitement has yet to cease, now we must announce the lucky tribute! Ladies first." She says walking over to the ball.
She sticks her hand in and I can hear the crowd take a collective breath.
She picks out a slip of paper and walks over to the microphone.
"And the lucky lady is… Eleanor Sinclare!" She says with enthusiasm.
Everyone starts to scan the crowd for her, I see a girl making her way to the stage.
She looks to be about 14 or 15.
She's tiny, maybe 5'2.
She walks up the steps slowly.
"Any volunteers?" The Capitol escort calls out.
Complete silence.
Of course.
My parents were the last volunteers for our district all those years ago.
"No one? Ok, let us continue with picking our male tribute." She says walking back across the stage to the other ball.
She sticks the hand into a ball and pulls out a slip.
"And our male tribute is…" She says opening up the slip.
I can feel my heart start racing.
My palms start sweating.
"Orion Mellark!" She calls out excitedly.
Of course.